


Under the Full Moon

by omia65



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Alternate Universe - Wolves, Angst, Babies, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Knotting, M/M, Mates, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Castiel, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pack Dynamics, Past Abuse, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scenting, Sharing Body Heat, Trauma, Wolf Shifters, not of any main characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2018-04-01 15:22:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 100,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4024942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omia65/pseuds/omia65
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first full moon after a new Alpha comes to power, the neighboring packs send their unmated omegas in the hopes that the Alpha will choose one as his mate.  Castiel never expected to be chosen - especially since his pack is constantly telling him what a bad omega he is - but Dean stands in front of Castiel and howls, telling his pack that he has chosen his mate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

            Castiel stands amid the other omegas, eyes carefully trained on the ground.  The bonfires providing light and warmth on the autumn night cast dancing shadows.  The night is cold enough that it’s difficult not to shiver, but Castiel will not give his pack another reason to punish him.  It’s a sign of how desperate his pack’s Alpha is that he’s even here.

            It’s the first full moon since the old Alpha of the Winchester Pack died and, as per tradition, the new Alpha will pick his mate tonight.  All of the neighboring packs, Castiel’s included, have sent their unmated omegas to the ceremony.  Everyone knows that the strongest alliance between packs is formed when an Alpha chooses their omega mate.  There aren’t many unmated omegas in Castiel’s pack, which is why his Alpha sent him along with the others, even though Castiel is often told that he is not a good omega and that he doesn’t behave properly.  Castiel tries, he really does, but his fear of being punished often leads to him not paying attention and making mistakes.

            Tonight, though, Castiel has been pampered like never before.  All the omegas are dressed in simple clothes, but careful attention has been paid to cleaning their bodies and hair.  Like the other male omegas, Castiel is shirtless.  They’ve been standing there for close to an hour, waiting for the ceremony to get to the part when the new Winchester Alpha will pick his mate.  Castiel is hoping that this part will come soon, and the Winchester Alpha will pick his mate quickly and let the rest of them return indoors. 

            Finally, _finally_ , the Winchester Alpha has been officially recognized under the full moon as the new Alpha of his pack.  He steps off the raised platform, trailed by a guard carrying a torch.  The Alpha spends a fair amount of time in front of each omega, but eventually moves on from each one.  Castiel is so focused on not shivering and keeping his eyes on the ground that he doesn’t realize the Alpha has reached him until a calloused hand cups his chin and pulls Castiel’s head up.  Castiel’s heart quickens at the touch of an alpha.  The Alpha leans in and scents Castiel. 

            The Winchester Alpha drops his hand, and for a moment Castiel thinks that he’s moving on to the omega next to him.  But instead the Alpha throws his head back and howls, signaling his choice of mate to his pack.  His pack responds with howls of their own.  Castiel shakes as the Alpha howls.  He was never expecting this.  He thought he’d be on his way back to his pack lands in the morning, not be the mate of the Winchester Alpha. 

            Castiel is ripped from his thoughts when the Winchester Alpha – now his Alpha – lifts him up.  Castiel reacts instinctively, wrapping his legs around the Alpha’s waist.  “My Omega.”  The Alpha growls in approval.  Castiel wants to bury his face in the Alpha’s shoulder, now that the pack is starting to surround them, shouting their congratulations, but the Alpha cups his face again.  “Look at me.”  He commands.  Castiel does as he’s told, meeting beautiful green eyes and a much kinder face than he was expecting.  “What’s your name?”  
            “Castiel, Alpha.”  Castiel answers. 

            “Castiel.”  The Alpha repeats, grinning at Castiel.  “You’re beautiful.”  Castiel blushes.  No one’s ever told him that before.

The alpha’s grin widens and grows more predatory, and before Castiel can react, the Alpha is kissing him.  Castiel’s head spins.  No one had ever told him that the touch of an Alpha felt so _good_.  He’d always been taught to fear them, but this Alpha – his Alpha – makes Castiel feel safe.  And the Alpha smells so good, like leather and wood and _home_.  Castiel is confused and overwhelmed by it all, still trying to figure out why the Alpha chose him and what will happen when he becomes disappointed with Castiel, like his own pack has.

The Winchester pack has them completely surrounded by now, and the noise and excitement and the reality of what just happened all start to get too much for Castiel.  He tightens his grip on the Alpha and lets the other man wrap his strong arms around him. 

            “It’s okay, Castiel.”  The Alpha says softly.  He guides Castiel’s head to his shoulder, and Castiel is grateful to be able to bury his face and scent his Alpha.  “We’re going back to my rooms soon, my beautiful omega.  Just as soon as I give you my mark.”

            The next several minutes are a blur to Castiel.  He keeps his face tucked up against his Alpha’s neck.  His Alpha carries him up onto the platform and carefully sets Castiel down.  Castiel knows what is expected of him.  He drops to his knees and bares his neck.  A hand ruffles his hair as the Alpha leans down and claims him.  The bite is a mix of sharp pain and excitement.  He feels his Alpha’s tongue licking up the blood.  Castiel twists his head, trying to see the bite, and his Alpha lets out a laugh as he sweeps Castiel back up into his hold. 

            Castiel isn’t sure when exactly they get inside, but soon enough his Alpha is ordering his guards not to disturb him and shutting the door.  Castiel becomes aware that he’s in the Alpha’s rooms now, and he shudders involuntarily.  Given that he’s still in the Alpha’s arms, it’s no surprise that the Alpha notices, and Castiel wonders if he’s already messed up enough to deserve a punishment.

            “It’s okay.”  The Alpha tells Castiel again.  He sets Castiel down on the edge of the softest bed imaginable and props himself up against the pillows.  He’s left some space between them, and while part of Castiel is grateful for the chance to properly think without the scent of _Alpha_ being so overwhelming, another part of him is mourns the loss of the Alpha’s touch.  He’s also scared that the Alpha is going to act differently now that they are behind closed doors and not in front of his pack.

            But the Alpha offers Castiel another smile.  “My mate.”  He says, and he sounds proud.  “My beautiful mate.  Are you okay?  Does that mating bite hurt?”

            Castiel reaches up to touch the bite.  “Only a little, Alpha.”

            “Call me Dean.”  The Alpha says.  Castiel freezes, his eyes wide with shock.  No omega in his pack, mated or not, was ever allowed to call alphas by their names.  Especially not the pack Alpha.  The Alpha – Dean, Castiel has to remember to call him Dean because that’s what the Alpha told him to do, and he always has to follow the Alpha’s orders – Dean leans forward and takes Castiel’s hand between his own.  “Castiel, what pack are you from?”

            Dean’s face is serious, and Castiel is certain he’s already managed to mess this up.  He answers shakily.  “The Novak Pack.”  He tells Dean.

            That seems to answer something for Dean, and his face softens.  “Your pack Alpha is very strict and traditional, isn’t he?”  Dean asks.  Castiel nods.  “I remember that much from meeting him a few years ago.”  He grows serious again, his grip on Castiel tightening.  “How your old pack lived is not how we live here.  Do not be so afraid.”

            Those words are easier spoken than done, but Castiel nods anyways.  “I will try.”  He says.  “Dean.”  He whispers the name, still stunned at being able to use it, but when he looks up at his mate, he sees that Dean is smiling.

            “Good.”  Dean says.  “Now how about you come here?”


	2. Chapter 2

            Castiel’s heart stops at Dean’s words. They clear the fog from his mind, chasing away the excitement and nervousness of the evening to make away for plain fear. Castiel cannot believe he’s been so stupid. How could he have possibly forgotten that there was more to being bonded than just a claiming bite? They have to mate, actually mate, and Castiel feels sick to his stomach. The bed no longer feels as soft as it had when Dean had first set him on it. The dim light of Dean’s bedroom makes Castiel feel like he’s been trapped.

            The smile on Dean’s face fades as the scent of Castiel’s fear fills the room. Castiel feels panic taking over as he realizes that he’s defied his Alpha’s orders by not immediately going to him. Castiel tries to scent Dean to figure out just how angry the Alpha is, but his own scent is too powerful. Castiel whimpers as he crawls up the bed towards Dean.

            “Sorry, Alpha, sorry.” He says, tongue tripping over the words in his haste to get them out. The thought that he has already done something to upset his Alpha is crushing. He kneels next to Dean, baring his neck and claiming bite in an attempt to appease the Alpha.

            “Whoa. Easy, Cas. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

            A nickname. Castiel pauses at that. He’s never been called anything other than Castiel or omega. Maybe Dean isn’t _too_ mad at him for disobeying. He cautiously looks up. Dean’s eyes are big and filled with concern. Castiel tries scenting his Alpha again, desperate to figure out what Dean is feeling, but he still can’t smell anything besides his own fear. A low whine leaves his throat.

            “I’m not mad.” Dean says.

            Castiel wants to believe him, he really does, but all his instincts are telling him otherwise. Castiel whines again. He feels the weight of Dean’s eyes on him before his mate just reaches over and lifts him up, placing Castiel so that he is facing Dean and straddling his legs. Castiel squeaks in surprise.

Dean threads his fingers through Castiel’s hair and gently pushes Castiel forwards until his head is settled in the crook of Dean’s neck. “Breathe, Cas. Go ahead and scent me. I promise I’m not mad.”

            Castiel isn’t going to ignore his Alpha’s orders this time. He does as he’s told, pressing his nose against Dean’s warm skin and scenting him properly. The effect is instantaneous. First is the powerful scent of _Alpha_ that causes Castiel to melt against Dean’s body. Underneath that, though, he can smell the soft waves of concern his Alpha is feeling, along with the sweeter scent of contentment. Dean was telling the truth. Castiel’s mind relaxes almost as much as his body already has.

            “There.” Dean says, his voice just as content as his smell. “Everything is okay. I’m sure this is all overwhelming for you.”

            Castiel nods into Dean’s shoulder, not yet ready to speak. Dean doesn’t seem to mind. One of his hands settles on Castiel’s hip, and the other starts tracing patterns across Castiel’s back. Castiel takes another deep breath of his Alpha’s scent.

            “You smell good.” Castiel mumbles into Dean’s neck. He feels more than hears the rumble of Dean’s laugh.

            “Tell my brother that, please.” He says, and Castiel can’t help but smile. “What do I smell like to you?” Dean asks.

Castiel takes one last deep scent of his Alpha and then sits up. Castiel finds himself both scared of and attracted to the Alpha. He’s never felt such conflicting emotions before. He’s too timid to look at Dean’s eyes, not when they are so close together, so instead he focuses on Dean’s lips.

            “Worn leather. Fresh-cut wood.” Castiel says. Those had been the first two scents he smelled when the Alpha first stood in front of him and now, after the claiming bite, they were even stronger. But now there were other scents, too. A sweetness that reminds Castiel of fresh-out-of-the-oven baked goods hides below the stronger scents. So too does a brisk scent reminiscent of late fall mornings. Castiel tells Dean this. He takes a deep breath, not quite ready to admit to himself, let alone Dean, what his mate smells like. “And home. You smell like home to me.”

            Castiel’s glad he’s looking at Dean’s mouth, because the happy smile he gets at those words is possibly the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. His omega instincts are preening at the thought that he was the one to make the Alpha so happy. Dean’s hands come up and gently tilt his head so that he can see his mate’s beautiful green eyes sparkling with the same joy as his smile. Castiel can’t help it; he’s flushed with pride that he not only did what Dean asked but gave him an answer he clearly was hoping for.

            “You smell like home to me, too, Cas.” Dean says, now taking his turn at scenting. Castiel bites his lip to keep from moaning at the feeling of his mate pressing against his claiming bite. It feels _wonderful_ , sending shivers up and down his spine.

“What – what else?” Castiel manages to ask under the attention of his mate.

            Dean licks the claiming bite, and Castiel can’t hold back his moan. He barely hears Dean’s answer. “Honey and a warm summer’s day and wildflowers.” Dean says as he pulls away. It takes a moment for Castiel to fully register what Dean has said. He’s completely overwhelmed by what just happened.

            Castiel is surprised to realize, as Dean’s hands return to rest on his hips, that he isn’t scared anymore. Nervous, yes – his heart is beating ridiculously fast, and it’s not just because of Dean scenting him – but not scared. This conversation has relaxed Castiel, although he can’t put his finger on the reason why.

            “You think a lot.” Dean says, breaking Castiel’s train of thoughts. He opens his mouth, ready to apologize, but his Alpha doesn’t let him. “I like that. Smart _and_ beautiful, huh?”

            Castiel blushes and Dean laughs. Castiel has already decided he wants to hear that laugh as much as possible. It’s warm and open and free. Oddly enough, it makes him feel at home – even though there was never much laughter in his own home. But he lives with the Winchester Pack now, and even though he’s only really met their Alpha and seen only glimpses of the rest of the Winchester Keep, it already feels more like home than his old pack had. He wants to tell Dean this, but he can’t quite find the words to do so, partly because Dean’s hands are now running up and down his sides in a completely distracting manner.

            His brain is demanding that Castiel doesn’t lose this perfect alpha. But those thoughts are overwhelming and Castiel buries his face back against Dean’s neck, shy and turned on all at once.

            They had both been shirtless at the ceremony, Castiel to show the Alpha his body and Dean to show off the markings and tattoos of his pack. Now their chests are pressed together, Dean’s breath ghosting across Castiel’s neck. Castiel all but melts under the gentle care of his Alpha. He whimpers. He’s never been so close, so intimate with anyone before, let alone an Alpha. It’s indescribable, the way Dean’s touch brings shivers to his skin.

            “Want to be yours.” Castiel mumbles. “Please?” He’s not sure what he’s asking for, not really, only that he never wants this feeling to end.

            Dean pulls back and _no, no, no_ , that’s all wrong. Castiel whimpers. Dean shushes him, one hand holding Castiel firmly at the waist and the other cupping his face so Castiel has no choice but to look straight at Dean. Castiel is mad at himself for saying anything. _Should have let Alpha decide, shouldn’t have said anything_ , he thinks, and the thought that he might have done something else to upset his Alpha is crushing.

            “Castiel.” Dean’s voice cuts through Castiel’s thoughts. “Easy, Cas.”

            “Sorry, Alpha. Dean.” Castiel says.

            “You don’t have to apologize, beautiful. We just need to talk for a minute. I want you to know that we don’t have to mate tonight, not if you feel uncomfortable. We can wait. I don’t mind.”

            Dean’s voice is kind but his words cut at Castiel. He realizes his eyes are welling up with tears and he blinks furiously, willing them to go away. “No.” He says. It’s only when Dean’s eyes widen that Castiel realizes the mistake he’s made. He’s challenging his Alpha’s decision, rejecting it completely. “Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to be rude.” Castiel says, but Dean’s barking out a laugh.

            “Never apologize for saying what you want, Cas.” Dean tells him. “I won’t promise you’ll always get your way-” and here he leans forward to press a quick kiss against Castiel’s forehead “-but I want a mate with opinions.”

            “I want to be yours.” Castiel says, since Dean seems okay with letting him speak his mind. Softly, though, because he can still hear his old pack telling him that good omegas don’t have opinions. He pushes those thoughts away and focuses on the handsome alpha in front of him, hoping the sight will distract him. It works, mostly.

            “You’re scared.” Dean points out, scenting the air.

            “This is all very new to me.” Castiel says. “But I do want to be your omega. Please, Dean?”

            Dean stares at him for what feels like a very long time. His forehead is creased slightly and he looks like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle. Finally, _finally_ , he nods. “If that’s what you want.” He says seriously, before capturing Castiel’s lips in a searing kiss. All the air leaves Castiel’s lungs. It seems like each time Dean kisses him is better than the last.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for ending it here, but I wanted to get another chapter up! I hope you guys enjoyed it, and more is coming soon!


	3. Chapter 3

            Castiel whines when Dean stops kissing him. He doesn’t want Dean to stop. Ever. He tries to lean forward to catch Dean’s lips, but the Alpha has other ideas. He ducks his head down and licks Castiel’s claiming mark again, making the omega moan loudly. Castiel had no idea he could even make these noises, but Dean seemed determined to hear all of them. He turns his attention to Castiel’s chest. One hand leaves Castiel’s hip to lightly glide over Castiel’s nipples, and any lingering doubts are quickly squashed.

            “Cas?” Dean says. He’s watching Castiel squirm with a smirk on his face. It only makes him more attractive. “You can touch me, you know.”

            Castiel is more hesitant. It’s one thing to let Dean take control. That way, he doesn’t have to think or worry that he might do something Dean doesn’t like. It’s something else entirely to explore the Alpha’s body on his own. Castiel thinks he would have been perfectly happy if Dean just told him what to do. He tells Dean as much.

            Dean’s eyes crinkle up at the corners, a sure sign of his amusement. “I did tell you what to do. Just touch me. Do what feels right.” Castiel pouts up at him. It’s partly because that wasn’t the answer he was hoping for, but mainly it’s because Dean’s hands are now back on Castiel’s hips and not moving. Castiel has a feeling that Dean isn’t going to do anything else until he makes a move. He tries one last time, whimpering softly. Dean kisses Castiel again and whispers, “I want you to feel comfortable with what’s happening. Trust me, okay?”

            Castiel nods. He slowly brings his hands up and places them flat on Dean’s chest. He doesn’t move them, not yet, just holds them there and feels the warmth of Dean’s skin and the beating of his heart. He leans in a little and scents Dean again, wanting that magical scent of _Alpha_ and _mate_ and _Dean_ back. He drinks in the scent. There’s a new smell, one that Castiel can’t identify as anything but arousal. Castiel’s a bit surprised when he realizes he doesn’t just smell Dean’s arousal, but hears it, a steady hum of want and contentment coursing through Dean’s body.

            That’s all the encouragement Castiel needs. He looks up at Dean. His mate is watching him with lust-blown eyes. Castiel reaches up to run his fingers through Dean’s soft hair. Then he turns his attention to the many tattoos that cover Dean’s body. He runs his finger along the one that coils around his right arm. Dean’s pack symbol is tattooed on his chest. Without thinking, Castiel leans forward to press a kiss against the symbol. Now it’s Dean’s turn to moan.

            “You’re something else, Cas, you know that? I could smell you the whole damn ceremony. Couldn’t wait to find you and make you my mate.”

            Castiel hums in reply. He’s busy staring at the other tattoos on Dean’s torso. The idea pops into his head that he should use his tongue, and before Castiel knows what he’s doing, he’s dragging his tongue down Dean’s chest and across his sides.

            “Something else.” Dean says above him, running his hands through Castiel’s hair. Castiel traces one tattoo that is dangerously close to the waist of Dean’s pants. His mate growls, a deep, resonating sound that has Castiel’s mind swimming with desire, and he pulls Castiel up towards him before rolling both of them over.

            Castiel is now laid flat on the bed with Dean’s muscular arms caging him in. Dean’s face hovers over his, and Castiel takes a moment to savor the worshipping look his Alpha wears now. Dean seems to have lost the plot completely, because now that he’s got Castiel where he wants, he’s just staring at Castiel with those love green eyes of his. This close, Castiel can see each freckle on his mate’s face. Star-marks, his omega brother used to tell him. Castiel never really understood why until now. He studies Dean face like he studies the night sky for constellations.

            Dean seems content to just stay the way they are, but Castiel definitely is not. He wiggles underneath the Alpha, trying to catch his attention. When Dean blinks at him, Castiel arches his hips up and says, “Your turn.”

            Dean laughs and responds by rolling his hips against Castiel. “My turn.” He agrees breathlessly. He leaves a trail of kisses down Castiel’s chest, going until he reaches the tie on the pants hanging low on Castiel’s hips. Dean noses Castiel’s cock through his pants, making Castiel cry out in pleasure, before using his teeth to pull the ties. Dean moves off Castiel long enough to strip him of his pants. He kneels up on the bed, eyes sweeping over Castiel, a proud smile on his face.

            “My beautiful omega.” He growls. Castiel thought Dean’s earlier growl had been sexy, but it can’t compare to what this growl does to Castiel. He’s squirming on the bed, wet with slick and desperate to be mated. And Dean isn’t even _naked_. Castiel is about to inform his mate of this when Dean leans down and licks a stripe up Castiel’s cock. Castiel’s mind goes blank. He’s reduced to moans as Dean starts to explore Castiel’s body.

            Castiel loses track of time. All he can think about is Dean’s touch and the way it feels to have an alpha want him so badly. It’s jarring when Dean suddenly pulls back, and Castiel actually feels tears rolling down his cheeks. His Alpha can’t leave him, not now. But then Dean is back and completely naked and _oh_ , this is even better than before.

            “Want to mate you.” Dean says, his voice thick with desire and want.

            “Please, Alpha, please, Dean.” Castiel pleads. He starts to turn over, going to present like omegas are supposed to, but Dean pushes him back against the bed with a growl.

            “Want to look at you.” He says, then captures Castiel’s lips in the filthiest kiss imaginable.

            “Want you.” Castiel demands in reply. Dean grinds his hips down against Castiel’s, effectively shutting him up. Dean’s long fingers skim across Castiel’s thighs, making him shiver. Then there’s the pressure of Dean slowly pushing into Castiel. Castiel feels so full and complete with his Alpha inside of him. It’s like every nerve in his body has been set on fire. He’s trying to figure out why he was so scared early, but then Dean moves and his brain moves onto more important matters. “Want your knot.”

            Dean laughs. “Impatient.” He says, only to gasp when Castiel began to thrust his hips up to meet him. Castiel is moaning and begging his Alpha to knot him. It doesn’t take all that long for his Alpha to oblige and knot him. It hurts, of course it does, but the feeling of safety and belonging that sweeps over Castiel is well worth the pain. And then Castiel comes too, and his mind is overwhelmed with pleasure. Dean kisses Castiel before letting go of his lips to suck on the claiming bite. His hand wraps around Castiel’s cock and he begins to stroke him gently. Castiel has never felt so _good_ before, and he clings onto Dean in the hope that the feeling will never end.

            Once they are knotted together, Dean slides his hands under Castiel and carefully rolls them so that he is below Castiel. He sits them upright, and the tug of his knot and his previous ministrations have Castiel coming a second time. He stares at his Alpha in shock and pleasure, unable to form the words to tell Dean how good that was.

            Dean seems to figure it out, though, because he kisses Castiel’s sweaty forehead and whispers, “Such a good boy, Cas. My perfect omega.” Castiel practically purrs at the words. He made his Alpha happy, and no one had ever told him that making his Alpha happy would make him feel so good too. Castiel leans forward so he can scent Dean again. This time it’s not about comfort. He just wants to soak up every little detail of this night. Even if things turn horribly wrong in the morning, he’ll have this perfect memory to think about.

            The events of the night are catching up to Castiel, and he fails to stifle a yawn. Dean nuzzles the top of Castiel’s head. “Sweet dreams, Cas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if this is absolutely awful - I've never written smut before!  
> Thanks for all the lovely comments~you guys rock! I honestly don't have a concrete plan for what's happening next plot-wise, but there is definitely going to be more plot coming up. And I have some ideas for the next chapter, so it should be up fairly soon!  
> Let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

            It’s midmorning by the time Dean wakes up, if the angle of the sunlight coming into his room is anything to go by.  He carefully sits up against the pillows, not wanting to disturb his still-sleeping mate.  Cas is sprawled in a tangle of limbs and sheets and not looking likely to awake anytime soon.  Dean doesn’t want to wake him.  The night before had been absolutely perfect, but he’s sure Cas is exhausted and will probably be sore when he wakes up.  There’s no rush, though.  The feast celebrating his mating won’t be held until sundown.  Dean plans on spending the time in between getting to know his new mate.

            Mate.  Just the word makes Dean smile.  He’d been halfway through the ceremony when a gust of wind had carried that perfect warm-summer-day scent to him, and all he wanted was to get through the rest of the damn thing and be able to find the omega that scent belonged to.  But of course he couldn’t just make a beeline to that scent, even when it was time for him to choose his mate.  He’d been reminded by no less than three advisors and his brother that they couldn’t afford to offend any of the nearby tribes.  Dean had listened, but it pained him to stop in front of each omega and know that they weren’t his mate.  

            Dean had been so wrapped up in finally getting to see his mate, with his tousled black hair and dazzling blue eyes, that it had taken him some time to smell the fear coming off the omega.  His instincts had reacted instantly, telling him to comfort the omega, something Dean had done quite willingly.  He honestly can’t remember much of the claiming bite, only the feeling of his teeth sinking into tender flesh.  But he remembers what happened after they returned to his room.  He thinks that he’ll never forget that.

            Now, though, after a night of sleep and some time for the emotions of the day before to settle down, Dean realizes that Cas is a bit of a mystery.  A thought that had occurred to him last night pops back into his head.  He frowns down at Cas, leaning in to scent him as much as he can without waking him up.  His suspicions from before are confirmed.  His mate has two distinct scents of fear.  One is the one he had smelled last night when he had asked Cas to come to him.  That’s a normal scent of fear, a sharp acidic smell that Dean is fairly accustomed to, given that the basic emotions smelled fairly similar across all wolves.  But there is another scent on Cas, hidden deep below all the wonderful scents.  Dean figures he can only smell it because they’re mated.  It’s fear too, but it doesn’t seem to be so much an emotion that Cas is feeling but the result of something bad happening.  Dean’s not sure what to make of it.  He files it away to ask Sam about later.  

            A soft knock on the door tears Dean’s thoughts away from Castiel’s mysterious scent.  He pulls a pair of pants on, crosses the room and opens it.  A maid is standing in the hall with a huge tray of food.  Hovering behind her is one of the pack guards, escorting a beta dressed quite formally in another pack’s colors.  Dean lets the maid inside and turns his attention to the beta.

            “Alpha Winchester?  Alpha Novak has sent me to congratulate you on your mating.  He also wishes for me to give you this.”  He hands Dean a letter.  “Alpha Novak asks that you respond quickly, and requests a meeting with you today.”

            Dean closed his eyes briefly.  Not even mated for a whole day, and the other Alpha wanted to start drawing up alliances and trade agreement.  “You can tell Alpha Novak that I intend to spend the day with my mate.  He’s welcome to come to the feast tonight, but I won’t be doing any business until tomorrow at the earliest.  He can request a meeting in the morning.”

            The beta nods.  “Yes, Alpha Winchester.”  With that, the guard escorts him down the hallway.  

            Dean turns to find the maid standing at the table, her eyes carefully trained away from the bed where Cas lies naked.  “He’s been here since dawn, that one.  Made quite the fuss when he was told he’d have to wait.”

            Dean smiles and thanks her, tucking that little piece of information away.  He learned years ago that the servants knew everything, and as a kid had spent so much time wandering the Keep that most of them saw him as something of an equal, which he did everything he could to encourage.  Besides, Dean thinks, who doesn’t like sharing a little bit of gossip?

            Dean sits down at the table to read the letter.  It’s ridiculously formal and stuffy, which makes Dean smile until he reaches the first reference to Cas:  The Novak omega, aged 18 .  Dean quickly scans up and down the letter.  Nowhere does it call Cas by his name.  Dean feels extremely uncomfortable, the letter reading more like a bill of sales for an object instead of a living person.  

            A mournful whimper of “Alpha?” comes from the bed, and Dean drops the letter on the table to go see his mate.  Cas is sitting up, his hair tousled, blinking furiously against the sunlight.  His lips are turned down in an absolutely adorable pout at not finding Dean still in bed.  Dean quickly rectifies the situation, pulling Cas into his lap and kissing the frown off his face.  

            “Morning, beautiful.”  Dean says.  “How are you feeling?”

            “Better now.”  Cas says.  He stretches his lithe body as best he can while on Dean’s lap, and Dean takes the opportunity to admire all the flat plains of Castiel’s body that he hadn’t been able to properly see the night before.  Cas blushes when he realizes Dean is studying him.  “I’m a little sore, though.  And hungry.”

            Dean laughs.  “Breakfast and a bath it is, then.”  He says.  He’s glad to see that Cas is more relaxed than he was the night before.  Dean doesn’t want his mate afraid of him.  The claiming bite certainly helps ease that - for Dean, the link means his instincts are to protect Cas, while Cas will feel safer as a mated omega.  

            Dean doesn’t bother pulling out the other chair at the table.  His wolf is craving contact, and anyways, Cas doesn’t seem likely to let go of him anytime soon.  Instead, he sits with Cas on his lap and selects pieces of food off the tray to offer Cas.  Dean has almost emptied the tray, between feeding Cas and himself, when he realizes his mate is studying the letter still lying open on the table.

            “Cas?  Everything okay?”

            The effect of his words are instantaneous.  Cas lets go of Dean and drops to the floor.  “I’m sorry, Alpha, I didn’t mean to, I won’t do it again.”

            Dean feels sick.  There are definitely two different scents of fear coming from Cas, and it doesn’t take much to figure out that Cas is expecting to be punished.  He starts to get out of the chair, but that only makes Cas tremble more.  How on earth does his mate go from content to afraid for his life in a split second?  More importantly, Dean thinks as he slowly sits down on the floor, why?

            “Do what again, Cas?”  Dean asks.  

His mate is curled into a ball and  sobbing , and Dean has no idea what he’s supposed to do to calm him down when Cas clearly doesn’t want Dean anywhere near him.  It’s only then that Dean sees Cas’s back for the first time in daylight, and now he wants to cry.  His beautiful mate is covered in scars and barely healed wounds, crossing his back in a way that Dean knows they all came from a whip.  Someone had been beating Cas for a very long time.  

            “Cas?”  Dean tries again.  “Cas, baby, I’m not going to hurt you.  I’m not angry, okay?  I just need to know what’s wrong.”

            It takes several minutes, but eventually Cas uncurls enough to look up at Dean.  His eyes are red and swollen with tears.  “I won’t read ever again.  I promise, Alpha.  I’ll be good.”

            Dean doesn’t quite know how to respond to that.  “Why would I be angry at you for reading?”

            “Good omegas aren’t supposed to be able to read.”  Cas tells him like it’s a universal fact.  “I taught myself when I was little, but my old Alpha got angry.  I wasn’t allowed anything with writing on it.  I just missed it.  I shouldn’t have looked at the letter.”  And with that, he curls back up.  

            Dean wants to ask if that’s why Cas has all the scars, wants to know why someone wouldn’t want omegas reading, but he knows it’s more important to care for his mate.  “Cas?  That’s bullshit.  I’m never going to stop you from reading.  Hell, you can help my brother when he teaches the servants how to read.”

            The only response he gets is a sniffle, but Cas’s scent has relaxed considerably, so Dean takes that as a good sign and continues.  “Cas, look at me.”  He waits until anxious blue eyes peer out at him.  “There’s my perfect omega.  I’m going to make you a promise, Cas, as your mate.  I will never hurt you for anything you do or say.  I told you last night that you can speak your mind.  I mean that.  Do you understand?”

            Cas studies him.  “I understand, Alpha.  Dean.  But I don’t know if I can believe you yet.”

            “That’s okay, baby.”  Dean answers, relieved that Cas is at least being honest with him.  He knows that trust takes time.  For all the whirlwind of emotions, they haven’t even known each other a full day yet.  “How about we go take that bath and relax?”

            Cas crawls into Dean’s outstretched arms, and Dean takes a few moments just to hold his mate close and let Cas scent him.  He almost doesn’t hear the words Cas whispers against his throat.  “You’re a good alpha.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV! As always, let me know what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

            Castiel stays nestled against Dean the entire time they are waiting for the bath to be drawn.  Dean has him settled on one hip and is rocking from foot to foot.  A part of Castiel’s brain tells him this is how you treat a child, but it feels so good to be held by his mate that Castiel is able to push those thoughts aside.  Dean’s not treating him like a child, he’s just trying to comfort Castiel, and Castiel appreciates that.  He feels raw and open, like he’s exposed some dark secret to the world.  Only Dean told him that it isn’t a secret or something bad, and Castiel doesn’t know what to think anymore.  He decides the safest thing to do is to follow everything Dean says until he understands his mate and new pack better.

            Finally, the bath is ready.  Dean lowers Castiel into the hot water gently and Castiel lets out a little sigh of happiness.  It feels wonderful on his sore muscles.  Soon Dean joins him, and Castiel is happy to let his mate wash him.  He’s even happier when Dean pulls him onto his lap.  He noses at his mate’s throat while Dean draws patterns with water on Castiel’s back.  

            “I want to show you around the Keep today.”  Dean says at some point.  “The mating feast is tonight, and I think it would be good if I introduced you to a few people beforehand.”

            Castiel is jarred from lazy, relaxed state.  He’s nervous as to who Dean wants to introduce him to and why, but he remembers Dean asking him to trust him.  He looks up at his mate and asks carefully, “Who?”

            “Well, my brother, of course.  You’ll like him.  And Ellen.  She runs everything around here, practically raised me after-”

            Dean stops suddenly, and Castiel can easily scent his sadness.  “It’s okay.  You don’t have to tell me.”

            Dean shakes his head violently.  “We’re mates, Cas.  I’m not hiding anything from you.  I’m not normally this emotional about it.  Just started thinking about how much I would’ve liked for her to be here when I found my mate.”

            “Her?”  Castiel asks.  

    “My mom.”  Dean says.  “Died when I was little.  Ellen stepped in to take care of me and Sam.”

            Castiel thinks of his own mother, a woman he’s only ever seen from a distance.  He, too, had been raised by someone else, but in his case it was with the small number of other omega pups.  He’d grown up being told omegas belonged to the pack, to be used as bartering chips to gain favor with other packs.

            “I’d like to meet her.”  Castiel tells Dean.  There’s a little bit of hope blooming inside of him.  He wants to trust Dean, he really does, but experience tells him that alphas - and especially the Pack Alpha - are scary.  If Ellen is nice, and if she raised Dean, then maybe Dean really is safe.  

            “Good.”  Dean says, kissing Castiel’s forehead.  “To be honest, though, if I didn’t introduce you, she’d be knocking on the door before too long.  She’s good at getting her way.”  And with that, Castiel feels that little bit of hope burst.  Ellen sounds scary, not friendly.  Still, he forces a smile at Dean.  

            Only when the water has cooled does Dean get out of the bath, lifting Castiel up with him.  Castiel realizes then that he doesn’t have any clothes of his own in Dean’s room, just the pants from last night, which are nowhere in sight.  He stands helpless in the middle of the room.  The thought crosses his mind that maybe omegas don’t get clothes here.  Castiel wraps his arms around himself tightly as he watches Dean dress, his heart sinking.  

            Dean finally turns around.  “Not that I don’t like what I see, Cas, but what are you doing?”

            “Waiting for you, Alpha.”  Castiel says.  

            Dean’s forehead creases like he’s confused.  Then his mouth opens in an ‘o’ of surprise.  “Cas, I completely forgot.  The clothes on the chair are for you.  We’ll get you more, ones that fit properly, but I hope those work for now.”

            Castiel blinks.  So Dean does want him to wear clothes.  He relaxes even more when Dean crosses the room and helps him dress.  The pants fit, but the shirt hangs loosely on his shoulders.  Castiel doesn’t care.  He’s just relieved that he’s not going to have to meet the rest of Dean’s pack while he’s naked.  

            “I’m sorry, baby.  When I talk to your old Pack Alpha, I’ll make sure he’ll send your belongings.  It must be strange not to have any of your things.”

            “I don’t have any belongings.”  Castiel says, puzzled.  “None of the omegas in my pack do.”  He falls silent at the storm clouds gathering in Dean’s eyes.  He starts getting nervous again.  It feels like he and Dean can’t have a single conversation without him upsetting his Alpha.  And this time, he’s not even sure what he said wrong.

            Dean must scent Castiel’s anxiety, because he takes a few deep breaths and lets the anger bleed out of his eyes.  He pulls Castiel close, kissing the claiming bite and sending shivers up Castiel’s back.  “I’m glad you’re mine, Cas.”  Dean says.  “I’m glad you’re here.”

            Castiel doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he stays silent.  After a moment Dean pulls away.  “Come on, Cas.  I’ll show you around, okay?  You can check out your new home.”

   

 

* * *

  


            After five minutes of walking through the halls of the Winchester Castle, Castiel is completely lost.  The omegas in his old pack were kept separately from the rest of the pack, and except for special occasions, Castiel had never been allowed to wander the halls of the Novak Castle.  Despite feeling like he may never be able to find his way around on his own, he’s having fun exploring and listening to Dean tell him about various hijinks he had gotten into as a pup.  Plus, Dean is holding his hand and squeezes it reassuringly every so often, making Castiel feel safer.  

            Dean had decided they would go to the kitchens first.  Castiel is overwhelmed by the noise and sheer number of people, and he shrinks against Dean.  He’s shocked as Dean greets everyone they pass by name.  His old pack Alpha never called anyone by name, but Dean seems to not only know them but genuinely cares about them.  Castiel is starting to feel a little less scared.  Seeing members of Dean’s pack being happy to see him makes Castiel think that maybe he really can be happy here too.  That things are different here.  

            “Where’s Ellen?”  Dean asks one of the maids, who directs them into the great hall.  There, preparations for the night’s feast are underway.  

            “About time you showed up.”  

            Castiel freezes as a blonde alpha walks towards them.  He was expecting Ellen to be a beta, but the woman approaching exudes alpha.  Castiel wants to hide behind Dean, but that voice in his head is telling him to remember his upbringing and actually act like an omega should.  So Castiel remains at Dean’s side, his head bowed slightly.  

            “Ellen, I’d like you to meet Castiel.”  Dean says.  He wraps his arm around Castiel and pulls him close against him.  

            “Nice to meet you.”  Ellen says.  Her voice is brisk but warm.  Castiel risks a peek up at her.  

            “It’s an honor to meet you.”  Castiel tells her.  “Alpha says you raised him.”

            “I did.”  Ellen says.  She raises an eyebrow at Dean, but her attention is on Castiel when she says, “And I raised him to take care of his mate.”

            Castiel doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he nods his head in a way that he hopes conveys whatever sort of response he’s supposed to be giving.  

            “I know you’re busy.  We won’t keep you.”  Dean tells Ellen.  “I have to go track down Sam.”

            Ellen laughs.  “I believe he’s hiding in the library until tonight.”

   

* * *

  


            Castiel doesn’t manage to muffle the squeak of surprise he lets out when he meets Sam.  Dean’s brother towers over both Castiel and Dean.  He’s also - no surprise - another alpha, but there’s a softness about him that Castiel hasn’t really noticed with other alphas.  Still, even that isn’t enough to offset Castiel’s surprise.  

            “Easy, Cas.”  Dean says with a laugh.  “He’s a gentle giant.”

            “I apologize.”  Castiel says, trying his best to stop trembling.  It doesn’t work.  It’s not that he’s scared of Sam, not exactly.  He’s just completely confused.  Dean never told him how he expects Castiel to behave around others.  In his old pack, he never would have been allowed to speak in the presence of an alpha, but here, he’s supposed to.  At least, he thinks he’s supposed to.  He just doesn’t know.  Tears start welling up in the corners of his eyes.

            Sam notices first.  “Castiel?  Is everything okay?”

            Castiel manages to shake his head before the panic takes over.  He forgets about how his Alpha might punish him later and instead seeks out the man for comfort, burying his face in Dean’s shirt.  Dean’s arms come up around him, picking him up, and they’re moving to one of the sofas.  

            “Sam, can you give us a few minutes?”  Dean says, and Castiel knows then that he’s finally pushed his Alpha too far.  He’s embarrassed his Alpha, in front of his own family.  There’s the soft thud of the door as Sam leaves.  Castiel braces himself for the beating he’s sure will come.

            “I’ve messed up, Cas, and I’m sorry.”  Dean says.  “Come on, baby, can you look at me?”

            Castiel isn’t going to disobey his Alpha.  He looks up at Dean.  “I’m trying to be a good omega, I promise.”

            “You are a good omega, Cas.  You’re a wonderful omega.  This is my fault, not yours.”

            “I don’t understand.”  Castiel says.  Dean is so confusing.  Alphas are never at fault.  Never.

            “I know you don’t, baby.”  Dean tells him.  His eyes are sad, Castiel realizes, not angry.  “I thought showing you around, introducing you to other people, would be easier for you then spending the whole day with just me.  I know you’re still trying to figure out, well, me.  But I guess I forgot how overwhelming this all is for you.”

            Castiel nods.  “I just, I don’t know how you expect me to behave.  I don’t what I’m supposed to call you when we’re around others.  And in my old pack, I wasn’t ever allowed to speak in front of alphas.  It makes me nervous being around them.  I’m sorry, I know that they are your pack.”

            Dean holds Castiel’s hand in between his own, his eyes trained on Castiel.  “Our pack, Cas.”  He says.  “I don’t know how things worked in your old pack, but I can tell you that here, my mate is just as important as me.  Everyone is excited to meet you.  And you can always talk to alphas here.  You can also tell me when you start getting overwhelmed.”

            Castiel heard everything Dean said, but his mind keeps going back to the first two words.  “Our pack.”  Castiel whispers.  Dean beams at him.  Castiel can feel a warmth spreading inside of him.  His alpha is happy again.  

            “Yeah, Cas, our pack.”  Dean says.  “And I want you to call me Dean.  You’re my mate, my other half.”

            Castiel can’t speak.  Tears rush to his eyes again, but for an entirely different reason.  Dean sounds serious, but, more importantly, his voice is full of affection and love, something Castiel hasn’t heard in a very long time.  He nuzzles against Dean, scenting him and generally basking in the warm glow of Dean’s words.  

   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not super happy with this chapter, but oh well. At least Cas is beginning to realize how much Dean cares about him!


	6. Chapter 6

            The mating feast is nothing like Castiel expected it to be.  In his old pack, feasts (at least, the ones he’d been allowed to attend) had been formal and boring.  That’s not the case in the Winchester Pack.  When Dean and Castiel enter the Great Hall, they’re met with cheers and howls of approval.  It’s loud and crazy and overwhelming, but this time Castiel is more prepared.

            Ellen had tracked them down two hours earlier so Castiel could be fitted for the clothes he was to wear.  As two maids fussed over hemlines and waistbands, Dean explained what the mating feast would be like, so Castiel wouldn’t be as scared.  It had been immensely reassuring to Castiel.  Dean had also promised him that he wouldn’t leave Castiel’s side the entire evening, and that if Castiel felt uncomfortable just to tell him.  

            Now Dean leads him through the middle of the Hall.  Castiel is aware of everyone’s eyes on him, and it’s a bit terrifying.  Dean notices his rise in anxiety right away and leans in to whisper, “They’re just amazed at how beautiful you look.”  Castiel blushes, and the pack members close enough to see the red on his face say a collective ‘aww’.  

            Still, Castiel does feel good.  When Ellen and the maids had finished, he was wearing a perfectly tailored outfit practically identical to what Dean was wearing for the evening.  His trousers are a dark brown, like Dean’s.  His shirt is soft to the touch.  It’s the same green as Dean’s eyes, with the Winchester Pack symbol and other embellishments embroidered with a golden thread that caught the light as Castiel moved.  It was a custom in Dean’s pack that for the mating feast, the mated pair wore the colors of their mate’s eyes.  As such, Dean’s top is blue, accented with silver thread.  

            Dean has told him at least ten times since he got dressed how beautiful he looks, but Castiel still flushes with happiness each time, happy that his mate is proud of how he looks.  Dean looks handsome as well, something that earns Castiel a passionate, slightly filthy, kiss when he tells his mate that moments before they enter the Hall.

            It’s only when they reach the high table and Dean holds Castiel’s hand up above their heads that the entire pack falls silent.  “My mate, formerly of the Novak Pack and now and forevermore a member of the Winchester Pack.  Castiel.”

            The room erupts into cheers again, which only grow louder when Dean claims Castiel’s mouth with a kiss.  Dean presses his forehead against Castiel’s and whispers, “Welcome to the pack, Cas.”

            The feast starts in earnest soon after.  Dean makes sure Castiel tries a little of everything, and it’s the best tasting food Castiel has ever had.  Castiel is soon too full to eat more, so instead Dean pulls him onto his lap.  From that safe perch, Castiel is introduced to the pack members ranked high enough to sit at the high table as well.  He’s nervous, but Dean has his arms wrapped around him and seems to know just when to steer the conversation away from Castiel.

            Sam is sitting next to Dean.  He’s mated to an omega, Castiel learns, which explains why his scent was softer than the scents of most alphas.  Sam’s mate is a beautiful blonde named Jess.  She squeezes Castiel’s hand reassuringly when they are introduced, and Castiel takes an instant liking to her.  As glad as he is to be away from his old pack, he’s used to being around omegas all the time, and he misses the comforting, security-blanket smell of other omegas.  

            Next to Castiel is another beautiful blonde woman, this one a beta who introduces herself as Jo.  She’s Ellen’s daughter, Castiel learns, and Dean and Sam both consider her a sister.  Ellen herself has a seat at the high table as well.  The final person sitting with them is yet another alpha, a gruff older man named Bobby.  Castiel isn’t sure how he feels about Bobby yet, although it’s clear that Dean has a great deal of respect for him.

            Once the food is cleared away, a reception line begins to form as the higher ranked members of Dean’s pack and the representatives of the neighboring packs come to speak with Dean.  Castiel tries to slide off of Dean’s lap, certain that Dean will want him back in his own chair, but Dean just wraps an arm around Castiel’s waist.

            “You can stay with me, Cas.”  Dean says.  “Just smile at people.  I’ll do the talking.”  Castiel feels a rush of gratitude towards his new mate and he complies, snuggling back against Dean.

            Pack member after pack member welcome Castiel to the pack.  He’s surprised to realize, when he scents the air, that the pack members are truly happy about him being there.  A few of the pack elders even comment on what a good pair he and Dean make, and that makes Castiel fill with pride.  Dean’s pack is happy with him.

            Castiel’s heart drops when he recognizes his old pack Alpha approaching.  His instincts go haywire, part of him wanting to drop to his knees and press his forehead against the ground in an attempt to please his old Alpha, and part of him trying to remember that Dean, his Alpha, his mate, wants Castiel on his lap.  

            “Alpha Winchester.”  His old Alpha’s voice sounds even colder now that Castiel has grown used to Dean’s husky voice.  “Congratulations on your mating.  I am happy for the chance of our packs growing closer, although I must admit your choice in this omega surprised me.”

            “Does it?”  Dean asks, and there’s no mistaking the edge in his voice.  

            “Yes.”  Alpha Novak says.  “I wouldn’t presume to tell you how to treat your mate, but I feel it is my duty to tell you that this omega can be quite the troublemaker.  If I were you, I’d keep a close eye on him.”

            Castiel can smell the anger rolling off Dean and he risks looking up at his old Alpha to see the familiar calculating smirk on the man’s face.  He nuzzles against Dean, hoping to appease his Alpha.  He’s an embarrassment to his old pack, he knows that, and now Dean knows how useless he is.  He feels the sharp sting of tears in his eyes.  

            “My mate’s name is Castiel.”  Dean says.  “And I wouldn’t presume to tell you your manners are lacking, but I will remind you that you are currently a guest on his pack grounds.”

            Castiel’s eyes fly wide open, and he twists to stare at his Alpha.  Dean is glaring at Alpha Novak with barely concealed rage, but his touch as he kisses Castiel is soft and gentle.  Dean has just insulted Castiel’s old Alpha, and even though Castiel knows that his old Alpha had insulted Dean first, he also knows that while Alpha Novak likes insulting others, he never reacts well when he is spoken poorly to.  Castiel is very glad that he is safe in Dean’s arms, though he feels pity for whichever Novak omega that his old Alpha decides to take his anger out on tonight.

            Finally, Alpha Novak leaves, and Castiel sags with relief.  Dean holds him tight and kisses him.  “Cas, baby, don’t listen to him.  I chose you because you are my perfect mate.”

            “I don’t want to see him again.”  Castiel whispers.

            “You don’t have to.”  Dean says.  “I promise, Cas, you don’t ever have to see him again.  You are a Winchester now.”

            That sounds nice.  Castiel smiles up at Dean.  “I like being a Winchester.”  He tells his mate.  

            “Good.”  Dean says.  

            The remainder of the feast passes uneventfully.  It’s late by this point, Castiel growing sleepy in Dean’s arms.  The conversation around him has become more open as wine continues to be poured.  Sam and Jess and Jo are happily bickering with each other, Dean chiming in every once in a while to explain something to Castiel so he understands the joke.  Castiel drinks in everything that is happening, the experience so different from how his old pack worked.  He’s never seen so many happy people in his life, never scented the air and smelled only joy.  

            Eventually the hall begins to empty as the festivities wind down for the night.  Dean notices Castiel’s yawns and laughs.  He stands, forcing Castiel to quickly wrap his legs around Dean in order not to fall.  Dean’s dazzling eyes meet his, and when Dean grins, Castiel can see that his teeth have sharpened into points.  Castiel nearly lets out a moan at the sight, but manages to remember that he’s in public just in time.  

            “Ugh, you two are disgustingly cute.”  Jo says.  Castiel blushes, and Dean is mid-response when there’s a huge commotion from outside the room.  Castiel smells fear and anger and pure terror.  His grip on Dean tightens.  There is no way he’s letting go of his mate, even if Dean is headed towards the scents and not going somewhere safe instead.

            “What’s going on?”  Dean bellows as they reach the courtyard.  Castiel doesn’t need to hear the answer.  Alpha Novak’s acrid scent fills the air.

            “I’m trying to deal with a disobedient member of my pack.”  Alpha Novak says shortly.  “Your men seemed to think that they had the right to interfere.”  He kicks at the crumpled form of a badly beaten omega.

            “Ash?”  Dean asks, turning to one of the guards.  “What happened?”

            “We think this omega was trying to run away from his old pack and Alpha Novak caught him.”  The guard answers.  

            The omega uncurls slightly, eyes landing on Dean.  “Please, Alpha, don’t let him take me.”

            Castiel feels like he is going to be sick.  Alpha Novak no longer had him to take his anger out on.  The omega laying on the floor is so badly beaten and his scent so masked by the smell of blood and fear that Castiel can’t even tell which of his omega-brothers it is.  He wants nothing more than to beg Dean to save this omega, but he knows that’s not how things work.  

            “Do you have proof that this omega belongs to your pack?”  Dean asks, his voice dangerously calm.  

            “Excuse me?”  Alpha Novak roars.  “I just said he’s one of mine.  You can’t interfere with how I control my pack.”  It’s true, and Castiel wants to cry.  It doesn’t matter that they are on Winchester Pack land.  The omega belongs to the Novak Pack, and the Pack Alpha can do as he wants.

            “I’m asking for proof.”  Dean says.  “This omega has been hurt badly enough that his pack scent is covered.  I have no way of knowing if you are telling the truth or not.  For all I know, you have just assaulted an omega of one of the other visiting packs.”

            “The omega is mine.”

            “Proof.”  Dean insists.  “Tell me the omega’s name.  That’s all I’m asking.”

            It’s taken some time for Castiel’s brain to fully wake up and push past the fear to figure out what Dean is up to, but now he starts to feel hopeful.  He knows what Dean is doing.  Alpha Novak never bothered to learn any of his omegas’ names.  Castiel is amazed at how clever Dean is, not to mention thankful that he is mated to an Alpha that cares enough about omegas to risk an alliance to save one.

            Alpha Novak is shaking with anger.  For a minute he sputters in disbelief and rage, before finally admitting that he does not know the omega’s name.  

            Dean’s smile is almost predatory.  “Well, then, I’m going to suggest a solution.  I will welcome this omega into my pack, and I won’t tell the other Pack Alphas that you might have just beaten one of their omegas.”  He doesn’t give Alpha Novak a chance to respond.  “Ash, we need to get our new pack member bandaged up.  Bring him to the infirmary, and make sure Ellen knows.  I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

            With that, Dean strides down the hall.  Castiel keeps looking up at his mate, but Dean doesn’t acknowledge him until they are back in Dean’s room and the door has been locked behind them.  It’s only then that Dean breaks down, the confident Alpha sinking to the ground, Castiel still held in his arms, and beginning to cry.  Castiel’s omega instincts urge him to comfort Dean, but there doesn’t seem to be anything he can do but curl up against Dean.  

            “That’s what he did to you, isn’t it?”  Dean asks.  

            “Yes.”  Castiel says quietly.  Strangely, he’s not that scared.  He’s more concerned about making sure Dean is okay, and then finding out which of his omega-brothers was hurt tonight.

            “I’m sorry, Cas.  I wish I could do more.”

            “You did plenty.”  Castiel says, surprising himself with how strongly the words come out.  “You saved my omega-brother.  You saved me.”

            Dean gives him a teary smile.  “I’d do anything for you.”  He says.  

            “I know.”  Castiel says.  Strangely, even though it’s barely been a day since he met Dean, he does know.  He also knows something else.  “Dean, I love you.”

            Dean stares at him for so long that Castiel begins to worry that he’s said the wrong thing.  The words hang in the air between them.  Slowly, cautiously, Dean reaches up and cups Castiel’s face.  “I love you too, Cas.”

            It feels like something should change between them, now that they’ve shared their feelings, but maybe on some deeper level Castiel had already known his feelings for Dean.  Castiel seeks out a kiss, this one more about comfort and reassurance than the passionate kisses he and Dean had been sharing.  Dean’s kiss feels like a promise.    


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I realize I end every chapter with a ridiculously sappy moment, but what can I say? I want my babies to be happy. 
> 
> Hugs to everyone who has commented~you guys rock and I love you all!
> 
> As always, let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

            Dean knows it’s been longer than the couple of minutes he promised, but he can’t bring himself to get up off the floor yet.  He doesn’t want to let go of Cas, not ever.  It’s beyond him as to how someone could hurt an omega that badly.  He knows that it wasn’t long ago that his beautiful mate looked just like that poor beaten omega, and he feels sick.  Cas’s scent is all wrong too, that weird hidden scent of fear and hurt much stronger than it ever has been before.  

            “Dean?”  Castiel asks, and if the concern in his voice is anything to go by, it isn’t the first time he’s tried to catch Dean’s attention.  “Dean, can we go check on my omega brother?”

            Dean realizes he needs to get a hold of himself and start acting like the Pack Alpha he is.  He also realizes that as upset as he feels, Cas _knows_ this omega, and must be desperate to see him.  He stands, holding out a hand for Cas to hold.  “Of course, Cas.”

            The infirmary is on the ground floor of the Winchester Castle, not far from the kitchens.  They are nearly there when Bobby appears.  Dean feels Cas flinch and draw back against him, but the look on Bobby’s face means business, and Dean knows that comforting his mate will have to wait a moment.  He squeezes Cas’s hand, hoping that is enough, and raises his eyebrows at Bobby.

            “How many times did I tell you that we couldn’t afford to offend any of the other packs?  How many times?”  Bobby roars.  

            “Four.”  Dean says.  “And I know how important alliances are, Bobby.  It’s not like I’m new to this.  But you can’t honestly expect me to just let something like that happen, especially not on my lands.  The Novak Alpha hurt my mate in the past, insulted me, and gravely injured another omega.”

            “I know, you’ve got a soft heart.”  Bobby grumbles.  “Look, kid, I would’ve done the same thing.  But we’re going to have a big problem on our hands very soon.”

            “I know.”  Dean says.

            “Sorry, Alphas.”  Cas says, his voice so quiet that Dean barely hears him.

            Bobby eyes Cas.  “Boy, what the hell did you do to be sorry for?”

            Cas is trembling, and Dean knows he made a mistake in not comforting Cas earlier.  “If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have to worry about alliances.  I’ve put your pack in a bad place.”

            It’s not so much the words as it is Cas’s total belief that he is the one who did something wrong that cuts Dean.  He faces Cas and looks him straight in the eyes.  “I chose you, Cas.  Nothing is your fault.”

            Bobby snorts in agreement.  “Dean’s a hothead, Castiel.  If it hadn’t been this, I’m sure he would have done something else to upset one of the visiting packs.  At least this way, we’ve saved you and the other omega from a rotten life.”

            Cas turns from Dean to stare at Bobby with wide eyes.  Dean relaxes as his mate’s scent starts to return to normal.  He takes Cas’s hand again.  “We should go see this new pack member.”  Dean says.  He knows neither Bobby’s concerns nor Cas’s fears have been put to rest entirely, but right now he has a badly injured omega he needs to make sure is being taken care of properly.

            The infirmary is already crowded when the three of them arrive.  Bobby peers in and announces he’ll be in the hall.  Cas, on the other hand, leaves Dean’s side and rushes to the bed with the beaten omega.  

            “Gabriel!”  Dean hears his mate cry, before Cas crawls up next the omega on the bed, carefully arranging himself so he doesn’t cause the omega any more pain.  

            Ellen and Sam both go to say something, but Jess, who is sitting by the top of the bed and stroking the omega’s hair, stops them.  “If this is his omega brother, having Castiel here will bring him more comfort than any of us can.”

            Dean takes a seat by the bed and rubs his eyes.  God, had it really only been a day since he met Cas?  How the hell was that possible?

            Ellen sees his yawn and pats him on the back.  “We’ve done everything we can for the omega for the moment.  His wounds have been cleaned and bandaged.”

            “Good.”  Dean says.  “Thank you.”

            Ellen glances at Cas, who has his face tucked up against the other omega and is whispering under his breath, although Dean is fairly certain the omega is either asleep or passed out.  “There will be someone watching him constantly, but I’m guessing right now you want to be alone with your mate?”

            Dean nods.  “Yeah, that’d be nice.”  The room begins to empty out.  Dean doesn’t miss how torn Jess looks at leaving the omega.  That’s...interesting, he thinks, but he’s got other things to think about at the moment.  Eventually everyone exits the room, leaving just him and the two omegas.  Dean has endless questions, but he doesn’t know where to start or even if he should.

            “His name is Gabriel.”  Cas says after several moments of silence.  “We were raised together.”

            “He’s your brother?”

            Cas shrugs.  “I call him that.  I spent every day with the other unmated omegas, so we’re like a family.  I don’t know if we share a mother or not.”

            “Oh.”  Dean says.  His mate’s old life sounds so bleak.  To not even know if you had a sibling - Dean shudders.  His pack values family.  The idea of separating pups from their parents is repulsive to him.  He wonders about Cas’s family.  Had they been sad when their pup was taken away from them?  Or had the poisonous views of the Novak Alpha twisted their minds so much that they had not wanted to raise an omega?

            “I’ve always been closest to Gabe, though.”  Cas says.  His voice is soft, as to not disturb the other omega, but Dean can hear it fine in the quiet room.  “He’s always protected me best he can.  He got in trouble too, just not for the same reasons.”

            A long time passes before either of them speak again.  The only sound comes from Cas, crooning softly to Gabriel.  Dean watches him and wonders.  He thinks maybe this will be a good thing, if he ignores the fact he made a new enemy tonight.  Now that his mate has someone he clearly loves and trusts here with him, maybe Cas won’t be quite as scared.  Of course, Dean realizes, it could go the opposite and he could have two terrified omegas on his hands.  But somehow he doesn’t think that will be the case.  

            Although Dean can’t make out the words to whatever Cas is crooning, the noise relaxes him and he closes his eyes, content to sit here for however long his mate wishes to.  

 

* * *

  


            Dean wakes to find Cas curled up in his lap, his head tucked against Dean’s neck.  Not much time has passed - maybe an hour, going by the candles.  Dean peers over at the bed.  Gabriel is still sound asleep, but his scent is no longer completely masked by blood.  Now there’s an almost sickly sweet scent in the air that Dean assumes is the omega’s normal scent.  

            Cas shifts in his arms, big blue eyes blinking sleepily up at him.  “Dean?”  He asks.

            “Hey, baby.  It looks like Gabriel is okay for the moment.  How about we get to bed before the sun rises?”

            Cas looks over at Gabriel, biting his lip as he decides.  “Someone will be here with him?”

            “Of course.”  Dean stands, Cas still nestled in his arms, and walks out of the room.  A maid and a guard are both waiting outside.  Dean doesn’t even have to say anything before the maid enters Gabriel’s room to take their place.  “There, Cas.  When he’s awake, someone will come get us.”

            Cas nods, his head back on Dean’s shoulder.  When Dean reaches his room, he gently sets Cas down on the bed and begins to undress him.  Cas tries to help, but the omega is so exhausted that he can barely lift his arms above his head, let alone undo the buckles on his boots.  Dean soon sheds his own clothes.  He pulls the covers over them and curls himself around Cas.  He’s exhausted too.  He never imagined being mated would mean having so many emotions in such a short period of time.  

            Cas falls asleep almost instantly, but Dean has a little trouble.  His thoughts keep drifting to Gabriel’s fresh injuries and the old scars on Cas’s back, and to the monster that put them there.  He pulls Cas even tighter against him, wanting to feel every inch of his mate and reassure himself that Cas is safe with him.  It’s only then that he’s calm enough to join his mate in slumber.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter's a bit short (I keep meaning to write longer ones, but then I just want to post everything as soon as I write it!), but I hope you like it. Thanks for all the wonderful comments and support~you all rock!


	8. Chapter 8

            Castiel wakes up after only a few hours of restless sleep.  The light coming through the window is still soft and the sky still tinted pink, so he knows it’s early.  Although he’s exhausted, his mind is racing with too many thoughts for going back to sleep to be an option.  Instead, he takes one of the many blankets off the bed and wraps himself in it, settling in the window seat so he can watch the last of the sunrise.  Dean doesn’t even stir as Castiel makes himself comfortable.  

            The air is cold by the window, a reminder of the coming winter, but Castiel’s mind is on more immediate matters.  He’s thrilled that Gabriel is here, that Dean immediately declared him a member of the Winchester Pack.  Castiel feels that he can truly trust Dean now, because no one would be stupid enough to anger another Pack Alpha just to fool their mate into thinking they were safe.  

            But having Gabriel comes with a price.  Castiel knows that.  A price that the entire Winchester Pack may end up paying.  He can’t help but think of Bobby’s words, his harsh reminder that the Winchester Pack needed the alliance.  The words of comfort that had been offered by Bobby and his mate do little to ease his worries now.  

            Castiel sits at the window until the sun has risen over the tops of the trees in the distance.  Dean is still asleep, apparently not troubled by worries of alliances and angry Pack Alphas as Castiel is.  Part of Castiel wants to crawl back into bed and snuggle against his mate, but the thought of Gabriel, hurt and in the company of strangers, is too strong for him to ignore.  Castiel wants to go see his omega brother now.  He doesn’t want to have to wait for Dean to wake up.  The thought occurs to him that he could just go now, on his own, but he’s not sure if Dean would allow that.  He hasn’t gone anywhere without his mate since he got the claiming bite, and while Dean has never told him he isn’t allowed to be on his own, he also hasn’t expressly told Castiel that he can, either.  

            Castiel is too restless to sit any longer.  He dresses, wearing one of Dean’s shirts so that his mate’s scent surrounds him.  Too scared to leave the room without telling his mate, he resorts to pacing.  He’s just about worked up the courage to go see Gabriel by himself when he hears the sleep-deepened rumble of Dean’s voice.

            “Pretty soon you’re going to wear a hole right through the floor.”  Dean says lazily, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.  “What’s wrong?”

            Castiel stops at the side of the bed.  Dean rolls over and sits up, tugging Castiel to stand between his legs.  “Good morning, Dean.”  Castiel says after his mate has kissed him.  “I’m just anxious to see Gabriel, that’s all.”

            Dean’s hands settle on Castiel’s hips, his thumbs rubbing his skin.  “You could have gone without me.”  Dean points out softly.

            “I wasn’t sure.”  Castiel says.  “I haven’t gone anywhere without you yet.”  He ducks his head against Dean’s piercing gaze.  “And anyways, I’d rather be with you.”  It’s the truth.  Castiel realizes that with their mating so new, his instincts don’t want him away from his mate for any length of time.  That’s why he’s in Dean’s shirt, when his own is still laying on the floor.  

            “I’d rather be with you, too.”  Dean says as he stands.  He quirks an eyebrow at Castiel when he realizes he’s wearing Dean’s shirt, but doesn’t say anything about it, instead crossing to his wardrobe.  “But Cas, I want you to know that you can go anywhere you want, with or without me.”

            “Thank you.”  Castiel says, relieved to hear Dean spell out so clearly what Castiel is allowed to do.  He waits by the door for Dean to finishing getting ready.  He doesn’t know how to tell his mate that he’s afraid to go anywhere without Dean.  Maybe his pack is only treating him nicely because Dean is around.  Just because Dean is nice, it doesn’t mean the whole pack is.  

            Castiel remembers most of the way to the infirmary, only getting mixed up twice.  Dean catches him by the shoulders each time and points him in the right direction.  Castiel is a bit surprised to find that they aren’t the only ones coming to see Gabriel.  Sam is standing outside Gabriel’s door, leaning against the wall and deep in conversation with the guard posted there.  

            “Morning, Sammy.  Morning, Benny.”  Dean says.  Both men echo his greeting.  

            “Bobby’s waiting for you.  A couple different Pack Alphas are demanding to know what happened last night.”  Sam says.  

            Dean grimaces.  “Cas, baby, I’m sorry.  I have to go deal with this.  I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?  You can spend as much time as you want with Gabriel, and just ask Benny here if you need anything.”  He presses a kiss against Castiel’s claiming bite and adds in a whisper, “I love you, Cas.”  

            Castiel feels absolutely lost when his mate leaves, and his instincts are telling him to follow.  His expression must betray his thoughts, because Sam says softly, “Castiel?  Jess is in there with Gabriel.  She’d be happy to stay, if you’d like company.”

            Castiel nods.  Company sounds nice.  Being around two other omegas sounds even better.  Strange as it seems, he misses the comfort of cuddling with his omega siblings back in his old pack.  As awful as the rest of the pack had been, he had always felt safe with the other omegas.  

            There are two chairs by Gabriel’s bed.  Jess is sitting in one, and Castiel slips into the other.  Jess greets him with a kiss and a friendly smile.  Castiel feels his anxiety drop.

            “The healer told me he had a good night.”  Jess says quietly, so they don’t wake the still sleeping Gabriel.  “He woke up once and told them that the pain wasn’t too bad.”  She shakes her head.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to intrude on your time with him.  I can go now.”

            “No.”  Castiel says quickly, grabbing her hand.  “Please don’t.  I’m happy you’re here.  It’s nice being able to talk to another omega.  You’re the only one in the pack that I’ve met so far.”

            “There aren’t many in this pack.”  Jess says, and there’s a sadness to her voice that Castiel wonders about but doesn’t want to ask.  He stays silent instead, and Jess continues.  “There are a few omegas who work here in the castle, and some of the higher ranked members of the pack have mated to omegas.”

            “You don’t sound like you’re that close to them.”  Castiel says carefully, hoping he isn’t offending her.  He knows next to nothing about Jess, after all.

            Luckily, she laughs, and Castiel relaxes at the sound.  “I’m not.  Sam and I caused a bit of an uproar when we mated.”

            “Why?”  Castiel asks.  As an alpha and the brother of the Pack Alpha, Sam certainly had the right to choose an omega as his mate.  He couldn’t imagine how that might cause an uproar.

            “Sam’s father wanted him to mate with an omega who would bring an alliance to the mating.  He had plans drawn up with one of the nearby packs for Sam to mate with the omega daughter of the Pack Leader.”

            “Oh.”  Castiel says.  “Yes, I can see where that would cause an uproar.”

            Jess gives him a wicked grin.  “That was only part of it.  I’m from a small pack that the Winchester Pack defeated years ago, so I pretty much grew up in the Winchester Pack, and not as some high ranked pack member.”

            Castiel understands now.  It’s almost a relief, really, to discover that at least some members of the Winchester Pack acted similar to his own pack members.  While most high ranking alpha pack members mated with omegas from other packs, it was generally accepted if they mated with an omega who had been born to a high ranking pack member.  Jess was neither.

            “That’s unusual.”  Castiel says, hoping it doesn’t offend Jess.

            “Sam’s father nearly threw him out of the pack, but Dean stopped him.”  Jess says, and Castiel feels a swell of pride for his mate.  

            “What was their father like?”  Castiel asks, genuinely curious about the Alpha who apparently both disapproved of his son marrying a low-ranking omega and yet raised both sons to respect omegas.  

            Jess’s smile fades.  “Dean hasn’t told you about him?”  She asks.  Castiel shakes his head.  “Sorry, Castiel, but I don’t know much about him.  You’d have to ask Dean.”  There’s an edge in how she says this that suggests this is the end of this particular topic, and Castiel doesn’t dare to pursue it.  

            Luckily, before things have the chance to turn too awkward, there’s a faint groan from the bed.  Castiel leaps up at the noise.  Gabriel is awake and staring bleary-eyed at him.

            “Cassie?”  Gabriel says, like he’s not sure if he’s dreaming or not.  

            “Hey, Gabe.”  Castiel says softly.  He desperately wants to curl up around his omega brother like he had the night before, but he’s not sure if Gabriel will be in too much pain now that he’s awake.

            He didn’t have to worry.  Gabriel just raises an eyebrow - and how he can still look sassy with his face bruised is beyond Castiel - and says, “Come here, please.”

            Castiel immediately gets into the bed with Gabriel.  “I’m so happy you’re here and safe.”  Castiel tells him as Gabriel rests his head on Castiel’s shoulder and scents him.

            “Your Alpha is good.”  Gabriel says, his voice muffled by Castiel’s shoulder.  

            “I’ll let you two catch up.”  Jess says, standing.  

            Castiel feels Gabriel shake his head against him.  “You can stay.”  Castiel tells Jess.  “There’s room here for you, if you want.”

            Jess stares at him for a moment.  “You’re sure that’s okay?”  She asks, like Castiel can’t smell her happiness at being asked.

            “Come here already.”  Gabriel mumbles.  

            Jess curls up around Gabriel.  Castiel knows he has a stupid grin on his face, but he can’t help it.  He’s missed the safety and comfort of curling up with his omega siblings, and he feels ridiculously lucky that he has an Alpha who not only takes care of him but took Gabriel in too.

            Gabriel falls asleep only minutes after Castiel and Jess climbed into the bed with him, and the other two omegas aren’t far behind him.  

 

* * *

 

 

            Castiel isn’t sure how much time has passed when he wakes up to Dean’s voice in his ear.  He stretches and turns his head to look at his mate.  Dean has a fond expression on his face that makes Castiel feel all warm and happy inside.  He shifts away from Gabriel carefully, so he doesn’t wake him, and holds his arms up for Dean to pick him up.  Dean obliges, scooping Castiel up and kissing him.  

            “Missed you.”  Castiel says after taking a moment to scent his mate.  

            “Missed you too, Cas.  Come on, I had them send lunch to my room so we could spend some time together.”

            Castiel looks back at Gabriel and Jess.  In their sleep, the two have nestled together, Gabriel’s face tucked against Jess’s shoulder.  He’s a bit reluctant to leave Gabriel, but at least he knows that Jess is with him.  

            Neither of them speak much during lunch.  Dean looks exhausted, and Castiel simply doesn’t know what to say.  He settles for comforting his mate the way his omega instincts are pushing him to, letting Dean take care of him and hold him close.  

            “Is everything okay with the other Pack Alphas?”  Castiel asks, because Dean seems distracted and his scent is laced with worry.      

            Dean sighs, and Castiel feels the guilt building up inside of him.  His mate may have tried to hide the truth from him before, but now he knows that he really has messed up.  He’s ruined Dean’s chances of an alliance with the Novak pack, and because Dean mated him and not an omega from a different pack, he didn’t get the chance to form a strong alliance there either.  Castiel hangs his head in shame.  

            “It’s just politics.”  Dean says.  The fact that he doesn’t notice - or care - that Castiel’s scent has gone sour with fear is like a knife in Castiel’s heart.  His mate continues, but Castiel barely hears the words.  “No one wants a war to break out, and a couple of the Pack Alphas needed reassuring that war wasn’t my intention.”

            Dean says something else and then stops, but Castiel isn’t paying attention as to why.  He’s faintly aware that he’s crying, and suddenly he’s furious.  

            “Why?”  Castiel all but yells, climbing off Dean’s lap so he can look at the alpha properly.  

            “Why what?”  Dean asks, his eyes clouded with concern and confusion.

            “Why do you keep acting like you want me around when all I do is cause problems for you and your pack?  Why don’t you just punish me?  You say it’s not my fault, but it is.  Why don’t you just punish me?”  Castiel cries out a second time.  The anger leaves his body in a rush alongside his words, and suddenly he crumples to the ground.  “I don’t understand, Alpha.”  

            “Shit.”  Dean says from somewhere above Castiel.  He hears the chair scrape against the floor as Dean stands.  Dean smells sad and worried, but for Castiel, it comes too late.  “Cas, baby, I need you to listen to me.  I’m not going to punish you, because you didn’t do anything wrong and because I don’t believe in treating omegas that way.  I’m sorry I didn’t realize what I said was making you upset.  I’m tired, and I hate dealing with the Council and all the politics and that nonsense.  Sam’s much better at it than me, but the visiting Pack Alphas were demanding to speak to me.”

            Castiel sniffs and raises his head slightly off the floor to look at Dean.  His mate looks broken, almost, his voice desperate.  His words are earnest, though, and Castiel fights the years of being told that he’s at fault as he tries to believe what his Alpha is telling him.  

            “I messed up, Cas, and I’m sorry.  You aren’t at fault, not for anything.  I was the one who chose you, and I was the one who broke the alliance with the Novak Pack.  Those were my choices.”  Dean reaches out and cradles Castiel.  “Please, Cas, forgive me.”

            Castiel has never had anyone, let alone an alpha, ask for his forgiveness.  It gives him enough of a shock to stop crying.  “I love you, Alpha.”  He whispers.  “But I don’t know you very well.  I get scared.”  He looks up to see that Dean has tears in his eyes.  

            “I know, Cas, and I’m sorry.  The past couple of days have been crazy.”  Dean kisses him.  “I love you, Cas.  And I know that this is all new and scary for you.”  He pauses, and Castiel feels like his mate’s words are settling over him like some sort of promise.  

Castiel’s omega instincts start to settle with his mate’s reassurances.  He seeks out a kiss, and Dean obliges, cupping Castiel’s face with both hands.  When he breaks the kiss, he keeps his forehead pressed against Castiel’s.  “Cas, baby, let me take care of you, please?  I need to show you that you’re safe with me.”  Some part of Castiel’s brain reminds him that Dean’s alpha instincts are reacting just as strongly as Castiel’s instincts, and all he can do is nod yes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys are finally realizing that just because they're mates doesn't mean that they don't still need to get to know each other! The next chapter is going to be Dean taking care of Cas and them getting to know each other a little better. Hope you enjoy this chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

            Dean carries Cas to the bed and sits him on the edge so he can undress his mate.  Cas, perhaps because he’s so exhausted from what just happened, stays still, only moving when Dean softly asks him to raise his arms or lift his foot.  Every time Dean looks at his mate, Cas is watching him, his eyes big and trusting.  Dean desperately hopes that he can show Cas how much he means to him.  When Cas is completely naked, Dean quickly strips out of his own clothes.  

            Dean sits back against the pillows and pulls Cas onto his lap.  Cas lets out a soft moan as their skin touches.  Dean’s eager to hear more of his mate’s beautiful noises, so he nips at Cas’s claiming bite.  Cas’s moan is louder this time.  Dean doesn’t let up, mouthing his way down Cas’s neck and chest.  He wraps an arm around Cas and, with the other hand, runs his fingers down the length of Cas’s back.  Cas bucks in his hold as Dean circles his finger around Cas’s hole.  

            “Don’t tease.”  Cas _begs_ , and fuck, the desperation in his voice is the most beautiful thing Dean’s ever heard.  

            “Shh, baby, I told you I would take care of you.”  Dean says.  He’ll tease Cas another time, draw out as many of his mate’s moans as he can until Cas is pleading with him.  Not now, though.  Every instinct Dean has is telling him to take care of his mate and make sure his omega is okay.  He lets those instincts take over, pushing two fingers into Cas’s slick hole, seeking the spot he knows will make Cas feel good.  He finds it, too, if the low moan Castiel lets out is anything to go by.  

            Cas is grinding down against his fingers.  He’s got one hand wrapped around Dean’s bicep, and the other tangled in Dean’s hair.  His eyes have glazed over with pleasure.  Dean feels a swell of satisfaction that he’s the one who made Cas look like this.  He gets lost watching Cas, until his mate begs again.  “Want more, please.  Please, Dean.”

            Dean’s hips buck up against Cas, prompting a whine from his mate.  It dies off quickly as Dean arranges Cas on his lap.  Dean captures Castiel’s lips at the same time as he pushes into the addictive tight heat of his mate.  Dean takes a moment just to soak in every sensation he’s feeling - the pull of Cas’s fingers in his hair, every inch of his mate’s skin that is touching his own, that steady burn of desire and want.  Dean moves his hands to grip Cas’s hips, holding Cas steady as he starts to thrust up into the omega.  

            Dean sets a slow pace, wanting to draw out this pleasure as long as possible.  For the first few minutes, Cas keeps up a steady stream of pleas for Dean to go faster.  Dean continues at the same pace, but he takes his hands off of Cas’s hips so that he can explore other parts of the omega’s body.  He tweaks one of Cas’s nipples, earning a gasp from his mate, before moving down to take a hold of Cas with a slick covered hand.  Cas rolls his hips in time with Dean’s movements, his pleas finally stopping as the pleasure overwhelms him.  

            Castiel seeks out a kiss, his hand leaving Dean’s arm to wrap around Dean’s neck instead.  Dean pulls his mate closer as he knots him, wanting every inch of them touching.  Cas collapses against Dean, nestling against him and pressing a remarkably chaste kiss against Dean’s neck.  

            This feels right, Dean thinks, pleased.  His omega is safe and satisfied in his arms.  Cas gives a sleepy whimper as Dean shifts slightly to make them both more comfortable.  He nuzzles against Dean, and Dean can’t help the happy rumble in his chest.  

            “Don’t fall asleep on me, Cas.”  Dean says softly, the first words either of them have spoken in some time.  

            “‘M not.”  Cas mumbles.  Dean laughs and kisses the top of his mate’s head.  

            “I want to get to know you.”  Dean says.  He’s absently running his hand up and down Cas’s back.  He can’t get enough of his mate and the way it feels to hold Cas close to him.  It calms instincts he wasn’t even aware of until he claimed Cas.  

            Cas nestles in even closer.  “There isn’t much to know.”  He says so quietly Dean can barely hear him.  “And it isn’t pretty.”

            “I know.”  Dean reassures him.  He knows that what he’s asking of Cas is difficult, but he figures the only way to help Cas settle in his new home is to understand what happened to him in the past.  Things coming out in bits and pieces wasn’t going to help either of them.  “Cas, I just want to do the right thing.  You’re safe here with me.”

            Cas is silent for so long that Dean starts to wonder if he’s fallen asleep.  Finally he speaks, his voice, if possible, even softer than before.  “The omegas in my old pack are raised separately from the others from the time we are born.  The older omegas, the ones who were never mated, raise us.  I didn’t know any differently when I was a little pup, but as I got older I started asking questions.  All the pups do eventually.  I’m not sure how old I was when it happened, but one day the daughter of the Pack Alpha came by the omega compound and saw me.  She was a few years older than me.  She immediately asked her father if she could have me.  I was like a living doll for her.  She’d dress me up and everything.  It wasn’t horrible, but a lot of the other omegas started resenting me.  That’s when Gabriel stepped in.  He protected me.”

            Dean doesn’t know what to say.  He’s sick with the idea that anyone could let their child use an omega as a plaything.  It also hurts to hear that even the omegas in Cas’s pack turned on him.  He knows for certain now that he made a good decision in making Gabriel a member of his pack.  It sounds more and more like he was one of the only people Cas had who cared about him.  

            “That’s when I taught myself to read.”  Cas continues.  It’s like now that he’s started, he wants to get it all out.  “I started getting into trouble for that.  The Pack Alpha’s son would punish me.  Then he started telling his father that I had been too forward around the Pack Alpha’s daughter.  That’s when the beatings really started.  The daughter was told to pick a new omega as a doll, and I became the Pack Alpha’s favorite punching bag.”

            Dean is expecting bitterness or anger or sadness in Cas’s voice, but there’s nothing, not a drop of emotion.  It’s disconcerting, especially given how emotionally Cas has reacted since he’s been here.  When he scents his mate, however, that odd, normally hidden scent of fear is there again.  Dean hates that scent, wishes he could make it go away for good, but he has no idea how.  He wraps his arms tight around Cas, just as much for himself as for Cas.  

            “That’s it, really.”  Cas finishes in that same lifeless voice.  Dean is positive there is more his mate is hiding, but he doesn’t want to push Cas to share anything he isn’t comfortable with.  At least know Dean knows something about Cas, and he knows that his mate is beginning to trust him.

            “I’m sorry.”  Dean tells Cas.  His mate looks at him in surprise.

            “For what?  None of that was your fault.  Until I got here, I thought that was how every pack was.”  Cas says, the simplicity of how he says it cutting through Dean.  

            “I know.”  Dean says.  “I love you, Cas, and I promise to give you a better life here.”

            “You already have.”  Cas tells him, looking up for the first time since he started speaking.  He tilts his head, wordlessly asking for a kiss, and Dean kisses him in a way that he hopes conveys his feelings to his mate.   Cas melts into the kiss, a happy sigh leaving his lips.  “I want to know about you, Dean.”

            “What do you want to know?”  Dean asks.  He’s unsure what he should tell Cas - he doesn’t want to tell Cas about the bad times, at least not yet, but he also doesn’t want to hide anything from Cas.  Luckily, Cas makes the decision for him.  

            “Tell me about your brother.  Tell me what it’s like being a pup and being able to explore.”  Cas says.  He closes his eyes and nestles back against Dean.  “Please?”

            Dean can’t deny his mate anything, so he does.  “Sammy’s my best friend.  After our mom died, I got really protective of him.  Wouldn’t go anywhere without him, even when he was a little pup and couldn’t keep up with me and Jo.  When he got older, we used to shift into our wolf forms and race through the castle.  Ellen would get so annoyed.”  Dean laughs at the memories.  He keeps talking, telling Cas about sneaking out of the castle and running through the woods in the middle of winter, about spending hours searching for secret passages, about curling up with Sam and Jo and the other pack pups in front of a roaring fire in the Great Hall during a blizzard.  At some point, Dean realizes that Cas has fallen asleep and is snoring gently, his scent pleasantly calm and happy.  

            Dean relaxes with the comforting weight of his mate on top of him and the knowledge that Cas will never again have to go through what he had with his old pack.  Dean doesn’t understand how anyone could ever look at Cas and want to harm him.  

            Cas doesn’t stay asleep for long.  Soon enough blue eyes are blinking up at Dean.  “Can we have a bath?”  Cas asks.  Dean agrees.  He doesn’t care what they do, so long as he gets to keep Cas close to him.  

 

* * *

  


            As much as Dean would have liked to, he knows he can’t spend the rest of the afternoon in bed with Cas.  He’s actually surprised that a couple hours have passed without either Bobby or Sam knocking on his door.  Their hair still damp from the bath, Dean and Cas make their way back towards the infirmary.  Bobby is waiting outside Gabriel’s room, apparently having decided to intercept Dean here instead of risk interrupting something, which Dean figures is probably a good decision on his part.  Dean’s more than a bit surprised when he follows Cas into Gabriel’s room and finds not only Jess but Sam as well, his brother’s large frame taking up most of Gabriel’s bed.  Jess is curled up on his lap, and Gabriel is tucked up next to them.  

            “Cassie!”  Gabriel cries out happily, and Cas drops Dean’s hand to reclaim his place on the bed next to Gabriel.  Gabriel’s gaze falls onto Dean, and he suddenly goes quiet.  “Alpha.  Thank you for your kindness.”

            “Call me Dean.  Welcome to the pack, Gabriel.”  Dean says.  “I’m happy to have the person who comforted Cas be a part of my pack.”  He’s going to say more, but he’s still stuck on the fact that his brother is not just in the room, but on the bed as well.  At least, Dean thinks, Gabriel isn’t afraid of Sam like Cas was, and it looks like Cas seems a little more comfortable around Sam.  

            Gabriel has turned to Cas, apparently looking for confirmation that he doesn’t have to call the head of the Winchester Pack Alpha.  Cas nods slightly, leaning in to whisper something to Gabriel.  Dean goes to settle in one of the chairs, but Cas pulls him onto the bed too, and Dean’s not really sure how they all fit.  All three omegas seem pleased and relaxed, though, so Dean isn’t going to say anything.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I'm not totally happy with this chapter, but I really just wanted to get it posted, so here it is! As always, let me know what you think! And thanks for all the wonderful and lovely comments on the previous chapter!


	10. Chapter 10

            Castiel begins to grow used to the patterns of daily life in the Winchester Pack.  He and Dean always eat breakfast together, sometimes just the two of them and sometimes with the rest of the Castle.  Most mornings, Dean has meetings with his advisors or is called to preside over an argument between pack members.  Castiel still aches when he’s apart from his mate, but he happily spends the mornings with Gabriel.  The other omega is looking better each day, his twin black eyes starting to fade and his body slowly healing, although the broken bones will take a while longer still.  More often than not, Jess, and occasionally Jo, will join them at some point during the morning, and Castiel doesn’t miss the way Gabriel’s face lights up when he sees Jess.  Dean normally finds Castiel by mid-afternoon, and they spend the rest of the day together.

            It takes time for Castiel to adjust to how the Winchester Pack works.  He and Dean are slowly getting to know each other better.  They take long walks on the Castle grounds, and Castiel loves hearing his mate tell stories about his childhood.  Castiel’s fear hasn’t disappeared completely, and there are still times when his new life clashes horribly with what he had been taught by his old pack, but he trusts Dean now, the Alpha having proven that he wasn’t going to harm Castiel.  

            There are good days and bad days, but Castiel is happy.  He doesn’t realize how quickly the days have passed until Ellen mentions that the next full moon is arriving shortly.  It’s tradition to have a feast to celebrate the passing of the first month of a new couple’s mating.  Castiel also learns that for the first time in his life, he will get to go with the rest of the pack when they shift into their wolves to run under the full moon.  He can barely contain his excitement.  

            It’s been years since Castiel has been allowed to shift.  Once he learned how to control his shifts as a pup, he’d been told that it wasn’t proper for omegas to shift and that it was only something alphas and betas got to do.  He’d spent many full moons longing to shift and run free, but he’d never been able to.  

            His excitement turns to fear, though, a couple of nights before the full moon.  It’s late, well past the time that he should be asleep, but Castiel can’t seem to set his mind at ease.  Worries that make absolutely no sense keep running through his mind - what if he can’t shift, after all these years?  What if he can’t keep up with Dean when they shift?  What if Dean doesn’t like how his wolf looks?  Castiel can’t even remember what his wolf looked like.  

            The previously comforting warmth of Dean’s body against his own suddenly feels overwhelming, and Castiel pulls away from his mate.  A heavy feeling of sadness drapes over him.  He can’t understand why his mind can take good things and twist them into something bad.  He’s happy here with his new pack.  He loves his mate.  He even has Gabriel here with him.  Castiel hates that he can’t just leave his past behind him.  

            “Cas?”  Dean mumbles.  “Where did you go?”  The alpha still has his face buried in his pillow, but he’s blindly feeling the bed, trying to find Castiel.  

            Castiel feels a swell of guilt that he always gets when he’s done something to make his mate worry.  “Just getting a drink.”  He says quickly.

            Dean pulls his head from the pillow and looks at him.  It’s too dark for Castiel to really see his face, leaving Castiel with nothing to judge his mate’s feelings.  “You have this certain scent,”  Dean says quietly, “that you get when something reminds you of your old pack.  It’s not just fear.  There’s something else to it.  I just can’t figure out what it is.”

            Castiel doesn’t know how to respond.  He knows his scent changes when he’s thinking about his old pack and what he went through there.  He just doesn’t know how to explain it to Dean that fear is only part of the emotions he feels when those thoughts pop into his head.  

            Luckily, Dean seems content just to have mentioned it.  “What’s got you worried?”  He asks, his hand finding Castiel’s and lacing their fingers together.

            “It’s nothing.”  Castiel responds.  “I’m being dumb.”

            Dean growls at that, finally sitting up so he can pull Castiel onto his lap.  “You, Cas, are not dumb, and neither are your worries.”  He says firmly.  “Now tell me.”

            Castiel is too tired and too overwhelmed to argue with Dean, especially when his mate’s alpha voice has crept into his words.  “I haven’t shifted since I was a little pup.”  He whispers in the safety of Dean’s embrace.  His concerns tumble out, and he’s half expecting Dean to laugh at them.  He’s relieved when, after he stops talking, Dean kisses him and replies in a completely serious voice.  

            “I’d never leave you, Cas, even if you can’t run as fast as me.  We’re running together when we shift, I promise.”  Dean says.  “And Cas, baby?  You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.  I can’t imagine that your wolf wouldn’t be just as beautiful.”

            Castiel blushes, glad that Dean can’t see the color his face is turning.  His mate tells him often how beautiful he is, something Castiel is still trying to get accustomed to.  He stretches up to kiss Dean on the cheek, unable to find the right words to reply.

            “If you’re worried about being able to shift, why don’t we just practice?”  Dean asks.  “Just the two of us, so when we all shift you’ll be used to shifting again.”

            “I’d like that.”  Castiel whispers, closing his eyes and sending thanks to whoever had decided to bless him with such an understanding and caring mate.

            “Good.”  Dean says.  His next words are cut off by a yawn.  “In the morning, though.  We need sleep.”

            Castiel no longer feels overwhelmed as he tucks himself back against Dean’s body.  Dean nuzzles against his claiming bite and whispers a soft “Love you”, Castiel echoing the words as he lets himself relax.  

 

* * *

 

 

            Castiel is nowhere near as relaxed when he wakes in the morning.  He manages to convince himself that Dean was simply telling him things because it was the middle of the night and he wanted to go back to sleep, and now that it’s morning Dean won’t bother helping him shift.  He’s just about decided that if Dean won’t help him, he’ll ask Jess when he sees her later.  It’ll be embarrassing, but it’s better than nothing.  

            Dean must smell the anxiety coming off Castiel, because he looks up from his breakfast with a concerned look on his face.  “Talk to me, Cas.”  He says.  It’s a phrase he’s been saying often over the past month.  Dean is used to people saying what is on their minds, while Castiel has spent his life being told what he thinks is worthless.  Dean has been beyond patient coaxing Castiel’s thoughts into words.

            “Did you mean what you said last night?”  Castiel blurts out before he can stop himself.  

            “Of course I did, Cas.”  Dean says.  He stands up and pulls Castiel out of his chair.  His hands rest on Castiel’s shoulders, and it takes effort for Castiel not to lower his eyes.  “Do you want to try shifting now?”

            “Yes, please.”  Castiel whispers.  “But I don’t know where to start.”

            Dean grins, quirking an eyebrow at him.  “We start by getting naked.”  He says, already tugging on Castiel’s shirt.  

            “Dean-”  Castiel starts with a huff, not sure how to tell his mate how much being able to shift would mean to him.  Dean’s joking around like it doesn’t matter, and as good as Dean’s hands feel on his bare skin, Castiel wants him to understand.  

            His annoyed sigh must be enough, because Dean says, “I’m serious about helping you, Cas.  But you’ll tear your clothes if you shift while dressed.”

            “Oh.”  Castiel says.  “Right.”

            “Relax, Cas.  You’ll be able to shift in no time.”

            But that isn’t the case.  Castiel watches as Dean shifts into his wolf form with ease.  His wolf is beautiful - big with thick brown fur and green eyes.  Castiel attempts to shift, but he can’t remember how.  The slightly foggy memories of shifting that are running through his mind are of being beaten when he shifted by mistake, which doesn’t help at all.  It’s not long before Castiel has retreated to the bed in tears.

            “What if I can’t shift?  Ever?”  Castiel wails.  A part of him knows that he’s being ridiculous and dramatic, but he doesn’t care.  Here he is, finally in a pack that will let him shift, and his stupid body won’t shift, his dumb mind can’t remember how.

            “That’s not going to happen.”  Dean says firmly.  He’s got his arms wrapped around Castiel, and his body heat is welcome against the morning chill.  “We’re just going to try something different.”

            Castiel knows how stubborn his mate can be.  He recognizes the gleam in Dean’s eyes that suggests he’s not going to give up until Castiel can shift, and Castiel wonders what will happen when he fails.  

            “Come on.”  Dean says, pulling Castiel off the bed.  He leads Castiel to the middle of the room.  “Close your eyes.”

            Castiel follows his alpha’s instructions and waits.  Dean’s voice is soon back, low and calming.  

            “I don’t want you to think, Cas.  You have to let your instincts take over.  I want you to imagine.”  Dean says.  

            Castiel huffs again, annoyed.  His instincts have been stamped out by his old pack.  That’s why he’s having this problem shifting to begin with.  But then he feels Dean’s hands settle on his hips and breaths in the now familiar scent of his mate.  Castiel feels his body relax, his defenses dropping with the knowledge that Dean is there to protect him.  

            “Remember how I told you about the forest?  Picture that.”  Dean says.  “Imagine the trees, the wind against your face as you run, the cold dirt beneath your feet.”

            Castiel listens, his mind slowly filling with everything Dean is describing.  His mate’s voice is low, barely a whisper, and his words settle in Castiel’s head, building a picture of what it’s like to shift, and, even better, what it’s like to run and play as a wolf.  Better memories start to come back to him now.  He remembers how much stronger everything smelled when he had shifted as a pup.  He remembers the odd sensation of having a tail and the way the world looked from a different height.  

            Castiel feels different, somehow.  There’s a strange pull in his chest that he doesn’t understand, this feeling that’s drawing him to something that feels both familiar and strange.  It’s not until he starts feeling an odd heat that he realizes he’s shifting.  The room spins for a moment, the pressure of the shift almost unbearable, and then he’s shifted.  

            He barely has time to realize what’s happened when Dean lets out a loud cheer and shifts too.  Dean is much bigger than Castiel as a wolf, which Castiel had expected.  Omegas are small no matter what their form.  Dean yips several times and circles around Castiel before burying his snout into the thick fur around Castiel’s neck.  Castiel does the same to his mate for a moment, but he’s too excited about having shifted to stay in one place for long.  He starts wandering around the room.  A huff from Dean makes him turn his head.  His mate is standing by the door, his head cocked as though he’s asking Castiel a question.  Castiel trots over towards Dean only for the alpha to slip through the doorway and into the halls of the castle.  Castiel follows, nerves turning into excitement.

            Castiel isn’t sure how long they race through the castle.  Dean leads the way, Castiel next to him as they run up and down the halls.  Castiel has never felt so alive.  Even as a pup, he’d never had this much fun when he was shifted.  

            Eventually, after sneaking into the kitchen only to have Ellen yell at Dean to get out, they end up back in their bedroom.  Castiel jumps up on the bed and curls his body into a ball, exhausted.  Dean lays down next to him, his head resting on Castiel’s back.  Castiel doesn’t have the words to tell Dean how much this means to him, so it’s just as well that his mate is content to stay shifted a while longer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes - sorry about the long wait! I had no idea it'd been so long since I updated! I was planning on including the actual full moon run in this chapter, but since it's been so long, I figured I'd just go with what I had. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!


	11. Chapter 11

            The night of the full moon is clear and crisp.  A cold wind stirs the leaves, reminding everyone that this is likely to be the last full moon of the year without snow on the ground.  Even in his wolf form, Castiel is glad to have Dean’s warmth to snuggle up against.  It’s the first time in years that he’s been able to shift outdoors, and he’s still getting used to how different everything is in his wolf form.  The world smells differently as a wolf, stronger and more powerful, like he’s that much closer to nature.  He can pick up even more of Dean’s scent in this form, and Castiel can’t resist burying his snout into Dean’s fur.

            Castiel finds that he feels more comfortable - more confident, even - standing in front of the Winchester Pack in his wolf form.  He likes how he looks as a wolf.  It helps that his thick black fur masks the fact that he’s still a little too thin and still bears the marks of his old pack.  He’s proud as pack members greet him with approving barks.  Now both sides of him, wolf and human, have been accepted by the pack.  

            Castiel loves seeing the pack in their wolf forms.  He’s surprised at how easy it is to identify everyone - he hadn’t realized how much he had come to know their scents until now.  Although, to be fair, he doesn’t need to rely on scent to know who everyone is.  Sam’s wolf form is easy to recognize - he’s the only wolf bigger than Dean.  Ellen is just as formidable as a wolf as she is as a human.

            The number of wolves grows larger as more and more members of the pack gather around Dean and Castiel.  Dean spares a moment to playfully nip at Castiel, his eyes dancing, before he throws back his head and howls.  The entire pack goes silent, even the little pups who have been running around underfoot.  Dean’s howl echoes through the night.  It sends shivers down Castiel’s back and makes the fur on his neck bristle.  It’s a beautiful sound, Castiel thinks.  After a few moments Dean stops howling.  There is a pause where there is no sound made by the wolves at all, making the night seem especially still.  Then Dean howls again, this time the entire pack joining in.  Castiel howls alongside them, happy that his voice is finally part of a pack.

            Running under the full moon is even better than Castiel could have ever imagined.  He feels as though he is flying.  The trees blur together as he and Dean lead the pack into the forest, and Castiel is thrilled that he can keep up with Dean.  That little voice in his head, the one that keeps reminding him of his old pack, tells him that Dean is just going slow for Castiel, but that voice is thankfully quieted when Dean speeds up and Castiel has no problem following.  He lets out a happy bark at the realization that his fears about this night have been firmly squashed.  

            Castiel is beginning to grow tired when he realizes that Dean has led the pack to a clearing in the middle of the forest.  The playful yips and howls that had followed them the whole night quiet almost immediately, and Castiel gets the distinct sense that this is a special place.  More than that, though.  It’s not a place the pack comes to often, if at all.  Castiel scents the air and realizes that there’s a sense of hesitancy hanging over the pack, like nobody's sure what they are supposed to do.  Sam trots up to Dean and growls, managing to sound half-threatening and half-happy.  Dean makes a similar noise back at him.

            Suddenly the brothers are tumbling across the ground, their bodies a blur of fur and snarling teeth.  Castiel yelps.  He knows that Dean and Sam tease each other constantly, but there’s something more dangerous about their play-fighting when they are both in their wolf forms.  He doesn’t realize that he’s moved towards his mate until he’s stopped by Ellen and Bobby.  Ellen blocks him from moving forward, and Castiel lets out a mournful cry.  He needs to get to his mate.  He’s terrified at what’s happening.  

            Castiel’s cry does something, because Dean and Sam both freeze.  Castiel pushes past Ellen and Bobby, and it’s only when he draws closer to his mate that he realizes that Dean and Sam are wearing matching guilty expressions.  Neither one looks hurt - in fact, their tails are wagging in a manner that suggests they were having fun.  Dean trots over to Castiel and licks his face in apology before butting his head up against Castiel’s in an invitation to play.  It’s only then that Castiel realizes that whatever the significance of this clearing - because it’s definitely something he’s going to have to ask Dean about when they aren’t in their wolf forms - Dean and Sam were simply having fun.  Acting like little pups, really.  

            Castiel didn’t know how badly he just wanted to _play_ until that moment.  He stands perfectly still for a moment before darting forward and pouncing on his mate.  With that, it seems like all the tension just leaves the pack.  Dean gives a playful bark and flops over on his back, an apology for scaring Castiel.  

            There’s an annoyed huff that could have only come from Bobby.  Castiel turns his head to see him lay down on the ground, his head settled on top of his paws.  His decision seems to comfort the rest of the pack, because now the other wolves spread out in the clearing.  Castiel feels a tug on his tail, and looks over to see that one of the youngest pups has pounced on his tail.  Dean huffs a laugh.  It isn’t long before other pups have worked up their courage.  Dean happily plays with them, not even complaining when several decide to practice their pouncing by attacking his ears.  

            A warm feeling spreads through Castiel at the sight of his mate playing with the pups.  He knew, of course, that one day they would have pups, because Dean was the Alpha, but that didn’t necessarily mean that Dean actually wanted pups.  But Dean looks content.  No, more than content.  Happy.  Castiel wriggles through the pups until he can lean up against Dean.  

            Time seems to pass quickly, and it isn’t long before Castiel finds himself cuddling up against not only his mate but with several sleepy pups.  The night has grown colder, the wind a bit brisker.  Castiel wonders if they are going to make the journey back to the castle.  He’s not even sure how far they are from it.  But then he notices that several wolves have taken up watch along the edges of the clearing.  Jess trots over and lays down on the other side of Castiel.  Sam joins her, and soon enough Castiel and Dean are in the center of a very large pile of wolves.  Despite the cold night, Castiel feels warm and safe cuddled up with his mate and with his pack, and the only thoughts drifting through his mind as he falls asleep are happy ones.

 

* * *

 

 

            “What was it like?”  Gabriel asks as soon as Castiel walks into the infirmary the following day.  He’s looking much better, and it won’t be long before the healer feels he’s well enough not to have to stay in bed constantly.  

            “Amazing.”  Castiel tells him.  “I felt so free, Gabe.  It was just - amazing.”

            “Well put.”  Gabriel says dryly.  

            “I don’t know!”  Castiel says, shoving at the other omega - gently, though.  “You’ll be well enough to come with us next time and you can see for yourself.”

            Gabriel lights up at that, as Castiel knew he would, and is soon bombarding Castiel with more questions - what did Dean look like as a wolf, what was the forest like, did they really stay out all night?  Castiel answers all of them, Gabriel leaning on his shoulder with his eyes closed as he pictures what Castiel is saying.

            “What was so special about the clearing, do you think?”  Gabriel asks.

            “I don’t know.”  Castiel admits.  It’s been bothering him.  No, bothering is too strong a word.  He’s _curious_.  He wants an explanation, even if it’s something as simple as a place Dean and Sam used to play when they were kids.  Somehow, though, Castiel doesn’t think that’s the answer.  The pack had reacted too strangely for that to be the case.

            “Didn’t you ask Dean?”

            “I tried.”  Castiel says.  “But we didn’t shift back until this morning, and he had meetings all morning.  He barely had the time to kiss me before Bobby and some other Alpha I don’t know were calling for him.”

            Gabriel sighs, clearly disappointed that Castiel didn’t chase after his mate for the answer, but lets the topic drop.  Their conversation moves on, and Castiel is surprised when a maid comes into the room looking for him.

            “Dean wants you.”  She says.  “It’s lunchtime, and he’s wondering where you are.”

            “Oh!”  Castiel says.  “Sorry, Gabe.  I’ll be back later.”

            “Don’t worry about it.”  Gabriel says, nestling back down into his pillows and looking like he’s going to take a nap shortly.

            Castiel thanks the maid and leaves the infirmary.  He’s barely down the hallway when he runs into Sam.  

            “How’s Gabriel doing?”  Sam asks once they’ve both said hello.  “I’m just on my way to see him.”

            That’s...odd, Castiel thinks.  “He’s good.  Is Jess with you?”  He’d never once seen Sam visit Gabriel on his own.  Normally, he was there because Jess spent so much time with Gabriel.  

            Sam shakes his head.  “No, she and Jo are off somewhere.”  He says with an easy smile.  Castiel is even more curious now, so he just nods and tries to push his curiosity to the side.

            Castiel continues down the hallway before remembering his conversation with Gabriel.  “Wait, Sam.  I have a question.”

            Sam turns back.  “Sure.  What is it?”

            “Why did everyone react so strangely to the clearing we slept in last night?”

            Sam’s smile falters a bit.  “We were just surprised that was where Dean decided to take the pack.  It’s nothing.”  He adds in a way that tells Castiel it is definitely something.  Castiel opens his mouth to ask another question, but Sam cuts him off.  “Look, Castiel, this is really something you should be asking Dean.  I’m sorry.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

            Dean smiles when he sees Castiel, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.  He looks tired and frustrated.  It’s just the two of them for lunch today, and normally Dean would have pulled Castiel onto his lap for a pre-lunch kiss, but he doesn’t.  It’s strange behavior from Dean, but Castiel is still so used to the coldness of his old pack that he doesn’t really think much of it.  Instead, he starts eating and tries to engage his mate in conversation.

            “Last night was amazing.”  Castiel says, earning a true smile from Dean.  “It was better than I ever could have imagined.”

            “I’m glad.”  Dean says.  He’s about to say something else, but a yawn cuts him off.  “Sorry.  Long morning.  I don’t have much time before I have to head back, either.”

            “Is something wrong?”  Castiel asks.

            Dean waves off his question.  “It’s nothing, just pack issues.”  He says dismissively, and though Castiel knows Dean is tired and stressed, he doesn’t like Dean’s tone.  

            “Fine.”  Castiel says, a bit sharply.  They eat in silence for several minutes before Castiel tries again.  “Dean, last night, the clearing - what was that?”

            Dean looks up from his meal, puzzled.  “What do you mean?  It was a clearing in the forest.”

            “It felt like more than that.”  Castiel says.  “I don’t know how to describe it exactly, but it was like the rest of the pack was surprised that you chose that spot.”

            “Why would they be surprised?”  Dean asks.  Castiel doesn’t miss how his voice has grown harder.

            “I don’t know.  That’s why I’m asking.”  Castiel says, not unreasonably, he thinks.  “Sam said the pack was surprised about where we went, but that I should ask you why.”

            Dean’s face grows dark.  “You asked Sam about it?”

            “I just passed him in the hall.”  Castiel says.  It’s a testament to how much he’s grown to trust his mate in the past month, because a few weeks ago just the look on Dean’s face would have sent him to his knees begging for forgiveness.  Still, he has plenty of instincts telling him to appease his alpha _immediately_.  “I wasn’t trying to go behind your back or anything.  I’m just curious, that’s all.”

            Dean actually stands up, and Castiel has no idea how his question has made his mate this angry.  “It’s nothing to be curious about.”  He says with a growl that has Castiel flinching back.  

            And maybe Castiel really has changed, because a month ago he would have been in tears.  At the moment, however, the fear he feels is completely overshadowed by his own anger.

            “How is this fair?”  Castiel shouts at Dean.  “You poke and prod at my past constantly, and the one time I ask you about something you go crazy.  It was one stupid question, Dean.  That’s it.  There’s no reason for you to get so mad.”  He stares at Dean for a moment, waiting for his mate to do something, say that this was all a mistake, but Dean says nothing.  “All I wanted was to know why you brought me there last night.  It felt special to me.  I wanted you to know how much I liked it.”

            Now Dean tries to say something, but Castiel isn’t in the mood to listen to his mate anymore.  He pushes past Dean, growling at him when he puts a hand out to stop Castiel, and storms out of the room.  It isn’t until Castiel has made it back to the rooms he shares with Dean that the fear finally pushes away the anger, and he collapses on the bed in tears.  He can’t understand what just happened, and he’s terrified that Dean will hate him now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Yay! Hope you enjoyed it, and please let me know what you think in the comments! It makes me so happy to read that people are liking this story!


	12. Chapter 12

            “I fucked up.”  Dean says.  

            “You think?”  Gabriel says around a mouthful of Ellen’s chocolate cake.  Dean hadn’t exactly been planning on having this conversation with Gabriel around too, but Sam was in the infirmary when Dean finally tracked him down, and Dean has to admit that Gabriel might be able to help him figure out how to make this up to Cas.

            “You could have handled it better.”  Sam says, more tactfully.  Not that it makes any difference to Dean.  He’s spent the last hour pleading with Cas through the door to their rooms, but his mate hadn’t answered and eventually Dean had gone looking for his brother for help.  He feels like a complete idiot right now.  

            “Thanks.”  Dean says.  “I figured that out.”  Sam’s got a bitchy look on his face, like he’s about to launch into a lecture on how to treat omegas, and Dean _really_ doesn’t need that right now.  “I was tired and annoyed with dealing with all that shit from Dad’s old - I don’t even know what to call it.  Pack, I guess.  I wasn’t expecting it this morning, or I would have explained everything to him as soon as we were alone.”  He puts his head in his hands.  “I know that’s not an excuse for anything.”

            “Have you told him about Dad?”  Sam asks.  

            “Not yet.”  Dean says.  He looks at Gabriel, who, despite looking thoroughly engrossed in his cake, is undoubtedly filing away this conversation to tell to Cas.  “I wanted to prove to him that he’s safe here before I told him anything that might scare him.  I was just trying to protect him.”

            “Dean-”  Sam starts, most likely to tell him that he went a little overboard in that regard, but Gabriel cuts him off.  From what Dean knows of his mate’s old pack, there’s little question that Gabriel’s easy willingness to interrupt an alpha was the reason behind at least a few of the scars he has.  

            “Cassie is stronger than you give him credit for.”  Gabriel says.  “He survived years of abuse at the hands of that monster.  What could you possibly tell him that’s worse than what he’s already suffered?”

            “That’s a good point.”  Sam says.  He’s definitely giving Gabriel weird lovesick smiles that the omega happily returns.  If Dean wasn’t so worried about how to make it up to Cas, he’d find it interesting, or at least tease them about it.  Right now, though, he’s frustrated.

            “Can you two stop flirting with each other and help me?”  He finally snaps.  Sam gives him a reproachful look, but Gabriel doesn’t seem fazed.  

            “Here’s what you have to do.”  He says.  “Give Cassie some time to cool off.  He has a good reason to be mad.  Then just tell him the truth about whatever you have to tell him the truth about.”

            It sounds simple when Gabriel says it, but Dean doesn’t think it’s going to be that easy.  He thanks Gabriel and starts heading for the kitchen in the hope of finding Ellen.  Instead, Bobby finds him and all but drags him into the closest empty room.  

            “What the hell, you idjit?  Ash just came and asked me what to do.  Your mate told the guards that they aren’t allowed to let you back into your rooms until his say-so.  What did you do?”

            “We had a fight.”  Dean says.  He tells Bobby what happened.  “Tell Ash it’s fine.  Cas needs to know I’m not going to hurt him or anything just because he yelled at me.  Gabriel just told me to give Cas some time to cool off before I tried to apologize.”

            “Just don’t mess this up.”  Bobby says.  “Castiel is good for you.  Hiding things is bad for any relationship.  You owe it to Castiel to tell him the truth.”

            He gives Dean one last pointed look before leaving.  Dean stays behind.  He needs to figure out how the hell he’s going to explain everything to Cas.  He paces back and forth until he feels like he’s going to go crazy.  Almost without thinking, he shifts into his wolf form and heads for woods.  He needs fresh air and a new perspective, he thinks.  

  


* * *

 

 

 

            Dean doesn’t realize how much time passes until he returns to the castle.  It had grown dark a few hours earlier, but the castle is quiet in a way that suggests it’s closer to midnight than he thought.  His head finally feels clearer.  Now all he wants to do is find his mate and tell Ca everything he should have already said.

            Ash is still posted outside of Dean’s rooms, along with a few other guards.  He raises an eyebrow at Dean - who’s still in his wolf form, since Ellen did not take kindly to him roaming the castle naked - and says, “You want me to ask Castiel if you can go in?”

            Dean huffs an affirmative reply.  Ash knocks on the door and calls through that Dean is in the hall.  There’s a long silence, long enough that Dean wonders if Cas has fallen asleep, before Dean hears Cas’s voice.  “Please let him in.”

            Relief floods through Dean.  Ash opens the door for him and he quickly pushes past the guards, eager to see his mate.  When he hears the door click shut behind him, Dean shifts back to his human form and finds a pair of trousers to wear.  He doesn’t want to do anything that might make Cas uncomfortable.

            Cas is sitting up on the bed, furs and blankets wrapped tightly around him.  At the sight of him, the perfectly worded apology that Dean’s spent the past few hours crafting goes right out of his head, and all he can do is whine mournfully.  “I’m so sorry, Cas.”  He says, hesitantly walking up towards the bed.  

            “I’m not.”  Cas says.  He quickly clarifies.  “I mean, I’m not sorry for what I said.  I meant it.  But I shouldn’t have stormed out on you.”  There’s a weird mix of stubbornness and fear in Cas’s eyes.  Dean knows his mate must be scared that he hates him, that Dean will turn into the same sort of monster he only just escaped from.  But it’s also clear that this time, Cas is ready to put up a fight.

            “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”  Dean says.  “You were right.  I’ve opened all these old wounds for you and never considered what it would be like if someone was to do the same to me.”

            There’s a moment where neither of them speak.  Cas searches Dean’s face, his eyes dancing with the reflection of the fire.  In that moment, Dean can see the strength that Gabriel was talking about.  Cas might be fearful of a lot of things, but he survived a life of misery and abuse - Dean thinks Cas has every right to be scared.  But for the first time, Dean realizes that being scared doesn’t stop someone from being strong.  

            “Come here?”  Cas asks, his voice soft.  

            “Yeah.”  Dean says.  His voice catches in his throat.  “Yeah, Cas, anything for you.”

            Dean sits on the edge of the bed, unsure just how close Cas wants him.  Very close, as it turns out.  Cas pulls Dean towards him and snuggles up against his side.  “I can’t sleep without you.  I was lonely.”  Cas says.  He presses a kiss against Dean’s neck and scents him.  

            It’s nice just to have his mate curled up against him again, but Dean knows he owes Cas a lot more than just an apology.  “Cas, there’s - there’s things I haven’t told you.  Things I should have told you.  About the clearing, about my past.  Lots.  You were right, what you said earlier.  I know all about your past and you barely know anything about mine.”

            “I trust you.”  Cas says quietly.  “I really do.  But there’s this voice in the back of my mind reminding me of how alphas have always treated me.  I don’t like it when you get angry for no reason.  It’s scary.”

            Dean feels like a horrible person.  “Cas, baby, I’m so sorry.  I’ve never been good with talking about how I’m feeling.”  He swallows.  “I’ll do better.  I promise.”

            “Okay.”  Cas says simply.  Dean knows it’s not as simple as that, but he’s determined to treat his mate right.

            “I know it’s late, Cas, but do you want me to tell you now?”  Dean asks.  Cas doesn’t speak, just nods into Dean’s chest.  Dean pulls his mate closer and takes a deep breath.  “The clearing we went to was my mom’s favorite place.  She used to take me and Sammy there when we were just little pups.  We’d spend hours there.”  Dean fights back tears as he tells Cas about his memories of his mom in the clearing, the way the sun would make her blonde hair sparkle and how her laugh sounded over birds chirping and leaves rustling.  “After she died, I refused to leave the clearing for a week.  Bobby had to drag me back to the castle.  But it’s the place I’ve always gone to feel closer to her.  Every year, we have a ceremony there to remember her.  That’s the only time the pack goes to that clearing.  It’s been that way for years.”

            “So that’s why everyone was so confused last night?”  Cas asks.  He’s absentmindedly tracing one of Dean’s tattoo’s with his finger, but his attention is all on Dean.

            “Yeah.  I didn’t tell anyone that I was planning on taking the pack there.”

            “Why didn’t you tell me?”  Cas asks.

            Dean sighs.  “It sounds silly now, but I didn’t want to ruin your first ever full moon run with something so heavy.  You remind me of her, and I wanted her to meet you.”

            “That’s-” Cas pauses for a moment to think of the right word, and Dean worries that he might have said the wrong thing.  “That’s really sweet, Dean.”  He kisses Dean’s cheek.

            “I was going to tell you this morning, but then I had to deal with some pack issues that came up and I didn’t get the chance.  I should have explained earlier.”

            Cas doesn’t comment, just hums a little as he pulls the blankets tighter around them.  “Can we go back, sometime?  To the clearing.  Just us.”

            “Yeah, Cas.”  The words catch in Dean’s throat.  “Of course we can.  I’d like that.”

            “Me too.”  Cas says sleepily.  “I still want to know the other stuff you haven’t told me.  But you can tell me that in the morning.”

            Dean’s noticed that the sleepier Cas is, the bossier he gets.  It’s cute, and Dean agrees with his mate.  “I will.”  He promises.  “I love you, Cas.”

            “Love you too.”  Cas says.  Dean leans over to blow out the candle by the bed, leaving the room lit only by the low flames in the fireplace.  He kisses Cas goodnight and curls up around his beautiful, understanding, forgiving mate.  Dean knows he’s beyond lucky to have found Cas.  The last thought he has before drifting off to sleep is that his mom really would have loved Cas.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have more of Dean's past! But let me know what you think so far. As always, I love hearing from you guys and I appreciate all the love and comments!


	13. Chapter 13

                Despite staying up late the night before, Dean is up as the sun rises. He opens the door to tell the guards posted outside not to let anyone bother him. He doesn’t care what pack issues come up. He just wants to spend the day with Cas. Now that he’s realized he needs to tell Cas the whole truth, it’s like everything inside of him is fighting to come out. Cas, however, is sound asleep and Dean doesn’t want to wake him. Instead, Dean settles onto the sofa by the fireplace to think.

                He’s got a lot on his mind, and it isn’t just about what he needs to tell his mate. The pack issues he had spent yesterday dealing with weren’t going to go away on their own, and there were growing rumors of an alliance forming to the east that could be dangerous. Dean needs to make sure his own alliances are still strong, and maybe form some new ones, before winter settles in.

                Both Ellen and Bobby had said that this winter was likely to be a bad one. Dean knows he has to make sure the whole pack is going to be safe this winter, not just the members who live in the castle. That means going out and surveying all of his pack lands and checking to make sure everyone either has enough to get them through the winter or finding them room within the castle. It’s going to be a busy month, but Dean is hoping Cas will want to join him on at least some of his trips through the pack lands. He knows Cas never got to explore and just talk to people in his old pack. He wants to make sure his mate knows that he can do that here.

                Dean’s looking forward to the winter, even if it’s going to be a bad one. He’s always loved winter. There’s something that feels so right about the cold wind and the crunch of icy snow. Full moon runs in the winter are magical. As much as Dean loved seeing how happy Cas was two nights ago, he’s looking forward to introducing his mate to the wonders of the moonlight reflecting off of untouched snow.

“Why aren’t you in bed with me?” Cas’s voice is deep and sleepy. Dean turns to look at his mate. Not for the first time he thinks how much Cas reminds him of a cat, the way he stretches out - not to mention how the rays of sun coming through the window always seem to find him.

Dean laughs and returns to the bed. Cas quickly pulls him closer and kisses him good morning. Dean gladly returns the kiss, tangling his hands in Cas’s hair and letting the weight of his body settle over Cas. The omega moans at the contact, hips bucking up against Dean. He’s definitely awake now, his voice breathless as he whispers to Dean that he loves him.

“I love you too, baby.” Dean says. He slides his hands under Cas and rolls them both over so that Cas is now on top of him. He props them both up against the pillows. Cas snuggles into his hold, pulling along with him several blankets.

“I’ve been thinking.” Cas says, looking down at his hands. “Would it be okay if I came with you to some of your meetings and things? I want to learn about the pack. I want to understand what you do everyday.”

He sounds so nervous asking. Dean would find it cute if he didn’t know how badly this must scare Cas to be asking something like this. He answers quickly to reassure his mate. “Of course. You can come to anything you wish. They are boring, though.”

Cas shrugs. “Maybe.” He says. “But I barely understand what you’re talking about with pack issues and alliances. I want to learn.”

Dean smiles at Cas. “I’m glad.” He says. He thinks maybe this will help Cas feel more comfortable around others in the pack, and he could certainly use having another set of ears when there were ten people all trying to get his attention.

They sit in silence for a few minutes before Cas looks up at Dean. “Can we - I mean, will you tell me? About the rest, not just the clearing.”

“Yeah.” Dean takes a deep breath. He wants to tell his mate everything, he really does, but it’s a bit painful to shift through his own past. He’s afraid of telling Cas something that makes his mate scared of him. “I don’t know where to begin.”

“Can I ask questions?” Cas asks. “Maybe that will help.”

Dean feels a rush of gratitude towards Cas for being so understanding. “That would probably work best.” He admits. Telling his mate about his family shouldn’t be so hard, but it is.

                “What happened to the Pack Alpha before you?” Cas asks. “Nobody ever talks about him, and there’s no signs of mourning.”

                Dean had known this would be one of Cas’s first questions, but it still isn’t an easy one to answer. “My dad was Pack Alpha.” He says quietly. “When I was a pup, I looked up to him. He was the perfect father. He loved my mom. Something in him just snapped when Mom died. He went crazy. Bobby and I did everything we could to get him back, but nothing worked. He started doing things that didn’t make sense. He’d disappear for days, sometimes weeks, and return without any explanation. He finally just abandoned the pack and started a whole new life for himself. I tracked him down about two years after Mom died and found out he had a new pack, a new mate, a new kid. Wanted nothing to do with me.”

                “That’s awful.” Cas says. He hugs Dean and tilts his neck, offering for Dean to scent him as a way to calm down. Dean nuzzles into the warmth.

                “It was bad.” Dean agrees. “I’d already been acting as Pack Alpha, with Bobby’s help, and the pack chose to have me take over permanently. It was decided I wouldn’t take a mate until after my father had died. We needed to keep up appearances with other packs, make it look like our pack hadn’t been fractured.”

                “I understand.” Cas says. “I mean, I understand why you wouldn’t have talked about him much. It sounds very painful.”

                Dean gives Cas a weak smile. “It was like I lost both parents at once. Sammy was still a pup. He didn’t understand it. And now, even though Dad’s gone, I’m left dealing with what to do with the members of his little pack. That’s what I was upset about yesterday.”

                “What do they want?”

                “Dad had a kid, Adam. He’s a beta and only fourteen, not really equipped to lead the pack. There aren’t many of them, maybe twenty, so there’s no one else to take my dad’s place as Alpha. They aren’t equipped to survive the winter, but they’re still divided on whether they want to join my pack or not.”

                “Do you want them to join?” Cas asks. “I mean, isn’t that a reminder of everything that happened?”

                “Adam is still family.” Dean says. “I have to take care of him.” Dean looks down to find Cas smiling at him. “What?”

                “You are a good person.” Cas says. Dean starts to protest, but Cas stops him. “I mean it, Dean. Your pack loves and respects you, and you care about them. I’m lucky to have found you.”

                Dean doesn’t know how to answer that. It’s not that he thinks of himself as a bad person. Most days, though, he feels like he’s just doing his duty to the pack. He rarely has the time to really stop and think about anything else. It’s funny how Cas, however nervous he still may be around people he’s still getting to know, has been able to see what his pack thinks.

                “I have one other question.” Cas says, his voice breaking into Dean’s thoughts.

                “Just one?” Dean asks. He raises an eyebrow at his omega. After their fight the day before, he had been expecting Cas to be bursting with questions. He smiles at Cas, but his mate looks serious and Dean’s own smile starts to fade.

                “No, I have other questions. I mean, I want you to tell me about Ellen and Jo and Bobby and all the others. I want to ask you questions about your day. I want to hear about your pack.” Cas takes a deep breath. “I want all that, Dean. What I meant was, I only have one serious question left. It’s something Jess said when I first arrived.”

                Dean’s interested. He can’t imagine what Jess would have told Cas - he’d already confirmed to Cas how the mating between Sam and Jess had cause some discord within the pack, and that’s all he can think of that Jess would have said.

                “I said to her that I missed being around other omegas, and she said there weren’t many in this pack. She sounded really sad about it.”

                Dean’s heart drops. He doesn’t want to scare Cas, but he also doesn’t want to lie to him. For a moment he thinks it would be better if he told Cas to ask Ellen to tell him, before he realizes that wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

                “When I was a pup - this was before Sammy was born - there was an attack. It had been a horrible winter, and we were running out of food and firewood. Most of the alphas and a number of the betas left to hunt. The castle was attacked by a group of rogue alphas and betas. They killed as many omegas as they could find. It was awful.”

Dean doesn’t tell Cas that even though he was so young when it happened, he still has the images of blood pooling in the halls and of lifeless bodies of his packmates burned into his mind. He can’t bring himself to share those memories, even if Cas is his mate. There are some things Dean would rather stay locked away, and this is at the top of the list. Thankfully, Cas doesn’t seem to think that Dean is hiding anything from him. He just wraps his arms around Dean and hugs him. It’s a simple gesture, but Dean appreciates it. There’s something about the hug that’s more comforting than any words could ever be.

                Dean waits for Cas to ask more questions, but none are forthcoming. Instead, his mate just smiles gently at him. “Thank you for telling me.” He says. “I know it isn’t easy.”

                Dean’s relieved to hear those words, though guilt spikes through him. In his desperate attempts to understand why Cas got so scared, he had forgotten how much those sorts of memories could hurt when they were dredged up unwillingly. “How did I get so lucky to find you as my mate?”

                “We’ve both been lucky in that regard.” Cas says, stretching as much as he can on Dean’s lap. He turns so they’re face to face and he’s straddling Dean’s lap. “I love you, Dean.”

                “I love you too, Cas.” Dean wraps the omega up in his arms and sighs contentedly as Cas nuzzles against his neck.

                “Good.” Cas says with a muffled laugh. They sit like that for a while, Cas happily scenting Dean and Dean gently running his hands up and down Cas’s back. Eventually, though Cas looks up again. “Dean, will you make me a promise? I want to know that you’ll tell me things, even if you’re worried about how I might react.”

                “I promise, Cas.” Dean says. It won’t be easy - his instincts tell him to protect his omega mate from anything that might hurt him, but Dean’s learned that Cas is strong enough to handle whatever life throws his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! This chapter did not want to be written! I'm still not totally pleased with it, and if anything is confusing please let me know.


	14. Chapter 14

            Castiel knows they can’t spend the entire day curled up in bed, as pleasant as the idea sounds.  He savors the few hours they do get alone.  He hadn’t liked keeping Dean away from him the day before, but it was something he had to do.  He had to know if his mate would respect him the way he had promised.  Castiel doesn’t know what he would have done had Dean not listened, but luckily he didn’t have to find out.  

            Dean sends for food, and they finally get out of bed so they can eat at the table.  Castiel is wearing one of Dean’s shirts - even with his own wardrobe full of clothes, he prefers having the scent of his mate on his skin at all times.  He also has one of the blankets from the bed still wrapped around him.  His former pack lived further south, or so Dean had told him the first time Castiel had mentioned how quickly the cold seemed to settle in.  He’d warned Castiel that the winters in the North would get much colder than what he had known in the past.  He’d also, much to Castiel’s delight, promised to keep Castiel warm during the cold nights.

            It’s just as well that they got out of bed, because they’re only halfway through eating when one of the guards knocks and tells Dean that Bobby needs him.  This time, though, instead of kissing Castiel and rushing off, Dean asks Castiel if he wants to come with him.  Castiel is pleased that his mate is following up with his promise and promptly agrees.  

            Castiel follows Dean through the castle until they reach a part he’s not familiar with.  The council chambers aren’t particularly grand or even that large, but Castiel hadn’t been expecting them to be any different.  The Winchester Pack cared more about practicality than decoration.  Still, Castiel is thrilled when Dean first ushers him into the chambers, although he supposes his excitement has more to do with the fact that Dean is staying true to his promises to include Castiel in his role as Alpha.

            There’s a meeting room for pack discussions and a smaller room where Dean can receive pack members seeking guidance or assistance from their Pack Alpha.  The third room is a smaller version of the meeting room, meant for Dean and his closest advisors.  The room is mostly filled by a sturdy wooden table and chairs.  There are maps on the walls.  Castiel is fascinated by them.  Dean points out where their pack is located, then shows Castiel how far away his old pack is.  Castiel breathes a sigh of relief when he sees how great a distance is between him and his old Alpha.  It’s one thing knowing that he’s far away from his old life, but seeing it for himself puts his mind at ease.  There’s no way for his old Alpha to come for him without one of Dean’s scouts spotting him from far away.  

            Bobby strides into the room a few minutes later.  He’s followed by Sam, who’s deep in conversation with a woman Castiel has never seen before.  Bobby gives Castiel a nod before saying gruffly to Dean, “Finally got your head on straight, I see.”

            Castiel doesn’t get a chance to ask Dean what Bobby means before he’s being introduced to the woman.  “This is Jody. She’s responsible for the day-to-day handling of the outer pack lands.”  Sam says to Castiel.  

            “Glad to meet you.”  Jody says.  Castiel echoes the greeting.  “I’m a bit late in welcoming you to the pack, but I’m thrilled to see Dean look so happy.  You’ve done him good.”

            Castiel thanks her for the praise, though privately he can’t help but wonder.  Dean has never struck him as particularly _sad_.  Maybe he was that way before Castiel came, but if he was, he’s certainly hidden it well.  Then again, with everything Dean told him earlier, it really wouldn’t be any surprise to learn that Dean was sad.  He carried a great deal of past pains and hurts.  

            “What brings you here?”  Dean asks Jody as they all settle around the table.  “I wasn’t expecting you for another week.”

            Jody grimaces.  “Not good news, I’m afraid.  Reports from the border are saying that the pack to the east may split soon.  I won’t be surprised if we get some refugees from the fighting.”

            “And we’ll be forced to pick sides, most likely.”  Sam adds.  “It’s the cousin of the current pack Alpha who’s been leading the split.”

            Dean frowns.  Castiel wants to ask questions but he’s afraid of sounding dumb in front of the others, so he stays quiet. He decides he’ll wait until he understands more about what leading a pack entails before he speaks up. Jody continues with her report, moving on to still-important but less threatening matters.  She tells Dean that if he wants to survey the northern parts of the pack land before winter sets in, he’s going to need to do so soon.

            “I was thinking the same thing.”  Dean says.  He turns to Castiel.  “What do you think, Cas?  Do you want to come with us?”

            “Where?”

            “We’ve got to make sure everyone on the pack lands has enough to get through the winter.  Sam takes half of the lands and I take the other half.  Do you want to come along?”

            Castiel knows he must be making an incredulous face by the smile that plays on Dean’s face, but he doesn’t care.  He’s never been offered a chance to do something like this before.  Even when his old pack traveled to the Winchester lands, he’d been inside a wagon the entire journey, unable to even see the road they were traveling.  

            “I would love to.”  Castiel whispers, thinking of the beauty of the forest surrounding the Winchester Castle and wondering what it will look like beyond that.  The dreams he had as a little pup, of exploring the wide open land and actually seeing beyond the omega compound keep coming true.  He doesn’t know how to tell his mate how much this opportunity means to him, but Dean seems to understand.  He squeezes Castiel’s hand and kisses him, and Castiel is once again left wondering how his life changed so quickly.

 

* * *

 

 

            It takes a few days for everything to be arranged.  By then, winter has gripped the land in its icy claws.  There’s a dusting of snow on the ground, and a bone-chilling wind howls down from the north.  Castiel is bundled in more layers of clothing than he thought he owned (well, some of them are Dean’s) and has been given a strict lecture from Ellen about frostbite and staying warm.  Castiel thinks that she really doesn’t have to worry.  There’s no way he’s going to do something as dumb as take off any of these layers.  

            Sam and Bobby, along with several other pack members, leave first.  Jody, who lives in one of the places they will be going to, joins them.  Castiel is introduced to Rufus, a man Bobby’s age, who is coming along in his role as one of Dean’s advisors.  The rest of their party is made up of a group of Dean’s guards.  Castiel knows several of them - Ash and Benny, in particular, as both men are often the ones standing guard outside their room.  Dean doesn’t treat them as just his guards, though - it’s clear they are his friends as well.  It’s one of the things Castiel loves about his mate.  Dean is the sort of person meant to be a pack leader.  He’s kind and intelligent and cares about each person in his pack.  Castiel thinks of his old alpha and tries to picture him ever personally going out to make sure all his pack members will be safe through the winter.  It would have been unthinkable in his old pack.

            Castiel has never ridden on a horse before, so it’s been decided that he’ll ride with Dean instead of on his own.  Castiel is especially happy with this decision as they ride out.  The warmth of his mate is a nice contrast to the cold air, and some of his fears about being out of the safety of the Winchester Castle are quieted by the knowledge that he’s wrapped in Dean’s arms.  

            Despite the cold, Castiel enjoys their journey.  It takes some time to clear the forests that surround the Winchester Castle, but once they do, Castiel is able to see clear to the mountains.  He’s awestruck by the sight.  Even from this far away - several days hard riding, says Dean - their strength and beauty is jaw-dropping.  As they travel, Dean tells him of the old tales the pack elders share, of the first wolf-shifters who came down from the mountains.  The stories help pass the time and make Castiel forget about just how cold he is.  

            They make several stops.  Some places there are only a few pack members living there, while others are whole communities.  Castiel is greeted by pack elders and small pups alike, everyone eager to see their Pack Alpha’s new mate.  They spend the night in one of the largest villages.  Dean knows the names of practically everyone, even the pups.  He’s play-fighting with a group of pups after dinner, Castiel watching with a fond smile, when the omega whose house they are staying in hesitantly asks him if he’d like to hold her new baby.  Castiel happily accepts.  The omegas in his old pack had all looked after one another, and he’d often care for the younger pups.  

            The baby seems unsure of Castiel at first, her little face scrunching up as she assessed his unfamiliar scent, but she settles into his arms quickly.  He’s enchanted by her tiny fingers and toes and the way her eyes follow him.  He rocks her in his arms and sings to her, softly crooning the same song Gabriel used to sing him when he was a pup.  Soon she’s fast asleep in his arms.  

            Castiel looks up at some point to see that Dean has stopped playing with the pups and is just watching him with a grin on his face.  He blushes, and the omega next to him pats his hand and whispers, “You two will have one of your own soon enough”, which only makes Castiel blush more.

            It’s something Castiel is still thinking about as they ride out the next morning.  He’s not ready for pups, not yet, but he does want them.  He needs some more time with just Dean, though.  Time for them to get to know each other more, time to enjoy each other’s company.  

            The snow starts falling in earnest as they leave the final village.  There’s a hurried conversation between Dean and his men on whether they should stay here or head back to the castle, a half-day’s ride in good weather.  Castiel tries not to let it show how nervous he is.  He doesn’t want to be stuck in a snowstorm, but he also ready to be back in the warmth and comfort of the Winchester Castle.  Benny points out that they don’t know how long the snow will keep up for, and finally Dean agrees that they’ll continue on back to the castle.  

            They return to the castle later than expected, slowed down by the ever-thickening snowfall.  Ellen is waiting for them, her lips pressed into a thin line, worry etched across her forehead.  Servants make quick work of stripping each of the men out of their snow covered clothing and replacing them with dry garments.  Soon they’ve been ushered into the Great Hall, where a roaring fire and hot food await.  Castiel curls up under a blanket, as close to the fire as he can get.  

            “Any word from Sam?”  Dean asks Ellen after he’s eaten a bowl of her stew and is helping himself to seconds.  The part of the pack lands Sam is covering has fewer people but the villages are further apart, and the plan was for him to spend two or three nights, rather than just the one they had done.

            She shakes her head.  “Nothing.  And you don’t need to worry, Dean Winchester.  Your brother is more rational than you.  He’ll know to stay put somewhere warm until the storm blows over.”  Dean doesn’t look fully convinced, but Ellen doesn’t let him dwell on those thoughts.  “How does everything look?”

            “Good.”  Dean says.  “I’ll go back out again once this storm is over to make sure nothing happened, but everything seemed to be in order.”

            “That’s a blessing.”  Ellen says, and Dean agrees.  

 

* * *

 

 

            “My toes still feel like ice.”  Castiel says as he and Dean get ready for bed later that night.  Castiel is torn between getting into the undoubtedly warm and cozy bed and having to actually take off some of his layers of clothing.  

            Dean doesn’t seem to have the same problem.  He’s already stripped down to just his sleep pants.  Castiel is cold just _looking_ at him.  Dean eyes what Castiel is still wearing as he approaches the bed and laughs.  “Baby, you don’t need all of that.  I told you, I’d keep you warm at night.”  His eyes are sparkling and Castiel can smell that now-familiar scent of Dean’s arousal.  

            Castiel can’t help but smile at his mate’s words.  Dean can be ridiculously cheesy, but it feels _good_ to know that his alpha is so attracted to him.  He lets Dean pull him towards the bed until he’s standing right in front of Dean and his mate starts pulling off Castiel’s clothes.  Soon enough Castiel is naked.  Dean is just staring at him, running his hands up and down Castiel’s sides.  Castiel shivers, the warmth of Dean’s hands a strange contrast to his cold skin.  

            “Dean.”  Castiel says.  It’s not his fault it comes out like a whine.  “You said you’d keep me warm.  I’m freezing.”

            Moments later, he’s lying face up on the bed, Dean’s body covering his.  Dean captures his lips in a slow, absolutely filthy kiss that Castiel is soon moaning into.  Dean slowly works his way down Castiel’s body, sucking and biting marks all over.  Castiel is still trying to process how Dean went from cheesy to _this_ when Dean follows a trail of slick up Castiel’s thigh with his tongue.  Dean slides his hands under Castiel’s hips, pulling him closer so he can lick his hole.  Any rational thought leaves Castiel’s mind at that moment.  He’s lost in the sensations of Dean’s tongue on him and in him.  All he can do is plead with Dean for more, beg him not to stop.  

            Castiel doesn’t know how much time passes before Dean pulls away.  He’s shaking, his whole body desperate to come, to be knotted, and he nearly cries when Dean stops.  “Dean, please!”

            “Shh, baby.”  Dean says.  He’s moving away from Castiel, which is not at all okay.  Castiel is about to say something - as soon as he can get his brain working enough to form words - when Dean lifts him up.  Castiel goes practically boneless.  He just lets Dean arrange him over his lap.  He’s wet with slick and desperate for Dean to be inside of him, but Dean is taking things very slow.  

            Dean guides Castiel’s head to his shoulder with one hand while he gently opens him up with the other.  Castiel wants to tell him that he’s perfectly ready for Dean to be inside of him, but all that comes out are moans.  Dean laughs, his breath tickling Castiel’s neck.  Finally, _finally_ , Dean’s pulling his fingers out.  The pressure of his cock is perfect as he slowly sinks into Castiel.  

            Dean takes his time, each thrust sending a new wave of pleasure through Castiel.  He’s whispering praise and love into Castiel’s ear, his hands a comforting weight on Castiel’s hips.  Castiel finally manages to lift his head off of Dean’s shoulder and tilts his face upwards, asking for a kiss.  He sighs happily when Dean obliges.  

            Dean’s knot starts to form, catching a little as he thrusts in and out.  Castiel is close, so close, to falling over the edge.  “Please, Dean.  Need - need to come.”  He pants out.

            “My pretty little omega.”  Dean growls, his chest vibrating under Castiel.  “Come for me, Cas.”

            And Castiel does, with a wail.  Dean keeps fucking him right through it until his knot is swollen and they’re tied together.  Castiel is out of breath and exhausted, but he’s never felt so sated before.  He snuggles in closer to Dean, resting his head on his alpha’s chest.  “Love you.”  He says, nuzzling Dean.  

            “I love you too, Cas.”  Dean says, kissing the top of his head.  

            Castiel smiles into Dean’s chest.  His mate wraps his arms around Castiel, his touch a steady and comforting pressure.  Castiel feels safe and loved, and it’s the best feeling in the world.

            “Warm enough?”  Dean asks a few minutes later, when they’ve both gotten their breath back.  “Or do I need to keep trying?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter finally up! Thanks for being patient - the past month has been a bit rough, and I just wasn't in the mood to write. On that note, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to post in the next couple months. I'm going to try and make sure I don't go too long between posting, but I've got a lot going on in my life right now, and I'm part of an Xmas fic exchange that I really need to focus on. 
> 
> As always, comments are appreciated!


	15. Chapter 15

            Morning comes too soon, and with it a chill that convinces Castiel he’s going to stay in bed all winter.  He grumbles unhappily when Dean finally slides out from under the blankets.  “Do we have to get up?”

            Dean smiles and finishes dressing before crossing back over to kiss Castiel.  “Sorry, angel.  I need to give my reports to my advisors and take care of any pack business that came up while we were gone.  But you can stay in bed, if you want.”

            Castiel considers this.  His omega instincts are demanding to stay with his alpha, but Castiel isn’t exactly in the mood to listen to reports.  Actually, he isn’t in the mood to be anywhere but curled up under the blankets, although he might make an exception to move closer to the fireplace.  

            Dean must know what Castiel is thinking, because he laughs.  “How about this?  You stay in bed as long as you want.  Maybe go see how Gabriel is doing - isn’t he supposed to be getting out of the infirmary soon?  And I’ll find you for lunch.”

            He kisses Castiel again, and Castiel’s hands tighten in the soft material of Dean’s shirt.  He whimpers when Dean pulls away.  “I love you.”  He says.  

            Dean’s answering grin is beautiful.  “I love you too, Cas.”

 

* * *

 

 

            Castiel eventually does get up, if only because he had promised Gabe that he would visit him when he returned.  He makes his way down to the infirmary, squeaking in surprise when the cold air of the hall greets him.  Ash, stationed outside the door, laughs.  “You’ll get used to it.”  He tells Castiel.  Everyone keeps telling him that, Castiel thinks, but he’s fairly positive he’s never going to get used to feeling like a block of ice.

            Gabriel is, unsurprisingly, awake and waiting for Castiel.  The small room is cozy, warmed by a crackling fire.  Castiel crawls onto Gabriel’s bed and settles in next to his omega brother.  Time tends to pass quickly when they’re like this.  Castiel tells Gabriel about the mountains and the old stories Dean had told him.  He tries and fails to describe what it was like riding through the beautiful Winchester Pack lands.  He talks about all the people he met and how they welcomed him.  

            “We got lucky.”  Castiel says quietly when he finally runs out of things to say and he’s answered all of Gabriel’s questions.

            Gabriel smiles, his eyes dreamy.  “Yeah, we did, didn’t we?  I didn’t think packs like this existed.”

            “Me either.”  Castiel admits.  

            They’re both quiet for a few moments, lost in memories of their past that didn’t need to be spoken aloud to be shared.  Gabriel’s the one to break the silence.  “Is Sam back?  Jess hasn’t been by yet today.”

            “No.”  Castiel answers.  “Dean said the land he’s covering is bigger, so he’ll be gone a few more days, especially with the storm.”

            “Oh.”  Gabriel sounds disappointed.  

            “Gabe, what’s going on with you and Sam?  I mean, he’s mated to Jess, but-”  Castiel doesn’t know how to finish the sentence, so he just stops talking.

            He doesn’t get an answer for several long moments.  Castiel thinks he might have overstepped the bond they shared.  He hadn’t meant to - he’s genuinely curious, and he knows he’s not the only person to have noticed.  

            “I feel safe around him, you know?”  Gabriel says.  “Not like, this is an alpha I feel safe around, but he makes me feel safe.”  Castiel nods his understanding.  That’s how he feels around Dean, safe and protected and loved.  “And Jess and I really bonded.  She’s the kindest person I’ve ever met.”  He takes a deep breath.  “Can you keep a secret?”

            Castiel nods.  “Of course.”

            “Even from Dean.  We’re not ready to tell people yet, but I want to tell you.”

            “Okay.”  Castiel says hesitantly.  He doesn’t like the idea of keeping a secret from his mate, but this is Gabriel, the person who made sure he lived long enough to find this perfect pack.

            Gabriel pulls the collar of his shirt to the side, exposing a wide expanse of skin.  Castiel’s eyes widened at the sight of two distinct claiming bites.  “Are those - I mean - Did you-”

            “A couple of weeks ago.”  Gabriel answers.  His fingers trace over the bites.  “This one is Sam’s, and below it is Jess’s.”

            “And I have his.”  

            Castiel turns to see Jess standing in the doorway.  She’s got a soft smile on her face, her eyes trained on the marks on Gabriel.  

            “We were going to announce it earlier, but the preparations for winter took precedence.”  Jess explains.  “So now we’re just waiting for Sam to return.”

            “Congratulations.”  Castiel says, trying to buy time to find a polite way to ask how this happened.  There isn’t one, though.  Luckily, Gabriel knows him well enough to understand what he’s thinking.

            “I know it’s a little unusual, a mated alpha and omega mating with another omega, but it’s not unheard of.”  Gabriel says.  

            “Sam and I both knew a couple days after Gabriel arrived that we were all meant to be together.”  Jess adds.  “But we didn’t want to rush him, not after - after what your old pack did.”

            “Besides,” Gabriel says with a grin, “Sam figured he hadn’t pissed off enough people by mating with Jess.  Now he’s got both of us.”  He and Jess both laugh, Castiel joining in a beat behind them.  

            Now that Castiel has gotten over his initial shock, he’s happy that Gabriel has found someone - or, rather, two someones - who love him the way Dean loves Castiel.  “I’m glad you found your mates.”  He says to Gabriel.  His voice catches a little as he adds, “I’m really happy for you, Gabe.  You deserve it.”

 

* * *

 

 

            Castiel would have been content to spend the rest of the day curled up with the other two omegas, but that’s not what happens.  Ash enters the infirmary with a message from Dean asking Castiel to come upstairs to the council chambers for lunch.  Castiel happily agrees, and asks Ash to tell Dean he’ll be up momentarily.  The guard leaves, and Castiel takes a few moments to say goodbye to Gabriel and Jess.

            Castiel has grown a bit more accustomed to walking the halls of the castle on his own.  At the very least, he can navigate to the important places by himself.  Luckily, the castle is normally filled with people, so if he does get lost, it’s easy enough to find someone to point him in the right direction - which is a good thing, because he’s only ever made the trip from the infirmary to the council chambers with Dean at his side.  

            Castiel has almost at the council chambers when a sudden burst of yelling makes him stop dead.  He hears the unmistakable sound of Dean’s roar.  He can feel Dean’s anger radiate out through their bond, and Castiel staggers a little.  There’s more shouting, Dean’s voice mixing in with one that Castiel doesn’t recognize.  A door is flung open and then slammed shut.  The noise echoes down the hallway and makes Castiel flinch.  Seconds later, a beta Castiel has never seen before comes storming towards him.  The beta is yelling over his shoulder, and, before Castiel can move out of the way, crashes into him.  They both going tumbling over onto the floor.

            There’s a thunk as Castiel hits the stone floor, and he’s only slightly aware that it’s his own body that made that noise.  He’s more aware of the fact that he’s currently pinned beneath this strange beta.  A spike of fear shoots through him.  He’s trapped, not nearly strong enough to free himself.  Full-on panic sets in.  Castiel tries to push the man off of him, but he can’t.  

            “Get the hell off my mate.”  Dean growls from somewhere above them.  The beta is yanked off of Castiel, who immediately rolls away from where he had fallen.  He manages to sit up, his head pounding, and by that time Dean is crouching at his side.  “Baby, are you okay?”

            Castiel looks up at Dean.  By this point, he’s in full-blown alpha mode.  His voice is even deeper than normal, and his eyes have turned dark.  It’s pure instinct that has Castiel offering his neck towards his mate.  The thought that he needs to calm his alpha down keeps running through his head.  

            “What happened?”  He asks when Dean’s scent is calmer and his own head isn’t pounding quite as much.  Dean’s got him in his arms, holding onto him protectively.  Castiel is able to see the other man, who is being helped to his feet by Ash and Benny.

            “It was a mistake!”  The beta says.  “I didn’t see him.”

            “You would’ve if you hadn’t stormed out of there like a child.”  Dean snaps back.  The anger in his voice makes Castiel cower, even if he knows it isn’t directed at him.  He’s been doing so well, the past few weeks, but now all his old fears come rushing back to him.  He drops back down to his knees, the air quickly filling with the scent of his fear.  

            “It’s okay, Alpha, promise.”  Castiel is tripping over the words in his haste to get them out.  “Promise, Alpha, he didn’t hurt me.  I’m yours, Alpha.”

            “Shit.”  Dean says from somewhere above Castiel.  “Cas, baby, it’s okay.  Come on, look at me.  Everything’s fine.  I’m not mad at you, I swear.”

            Castiel hears what Dean is saying but the words don’t register.  He just curls in on himself more.  Above him, the beta starts talking.  “What the hell, Dean?  This is how you treat omegas?  There’s no way I’m bringing anyone from my pack here if this is how they’ll get treated.”

            Dean snarls, reducing Castiel to tears.  Whatever Dean had been about to say in response is lost.  Instead, he sinks to the floor next to Castiel and lifts him onto his lap.  Castiel feels Dean’s hand cup his head and slowly guide him towards his neck.  “Come on, Cas.  It’s okay.  Just scent me.”  Castiel does as he’s told.  Dean’s scent is still laced with anger, but he calms down enough to realize his mate is mostly concerned.  

            “Love you.”  Castiel mumbles against Dean’s neck.  

            “I love you too, Cas.”  Dean says.  He stands, effortlessly lifting Castiel with him.  “Adam, if you’ll stay for lunch like you said you would, I’ll explain.”

            Castiel jerked his head up in surprise when he heard the name.  Adam, as in Dean’s half-brother?  

            “Fine.”  Adam says.  There’s a pause where neither man moves, before Dean finally gives a low, annoyed growl and heads back towards the council chambers.  Castiel wraps his arms around Dean’s neck and doesn’t let go until the three of them have settled into the smallest room in the chambers.  

            Castiel refuses to leave the safety of Dean’s embrace, not trusting this stranger enough to want to be any distance away from his mate.  Lunch had already been brought to the room, and Castiel is more than happy to let Dean fill up a plate for both of them.  

            “Cas, this is my brother Adam.”  Dean says just as the silence is starting to grow uncomfortable.  “Adam, this is my mate, Castiel.  He was born into the Novak pack, who treated him badly.”

            “Dean would never hurt me.”  Castiel says, surprising even himself that he’s comfortable speaking.  “Sometimes when I get scared, I forget that I’m in a safe place now.”

            Adam stares at Castiel for a moment as if he’s determining whether Castiel is telling the truth.  Castiel feels Dean shift behind him.  Had Adam been an alpha, staring at Castiel would have been seen as a challenge to Dean.  It’s not exactly polite for a beta to do it, though.  Finally Adam drops his gaze to the food in front of him.  

            “Nice to meet you, Castiel.  I’m sorry for knocking you over and scaring you like that.”

            Adam is not at all what Castiel was expecting.  He’s not quite as tall as Dean, but he’s got the same strong features that seem to be a Winchester trait.  He doesn’t have nearly the same amount of easy confidence that both Dean and Sam carry themselves with.  He’s got a stubborn glint to his eyes, and it’s easy to see that he doesn’t feel entirely comfortable around Dean.

            They eat lunch mostly in silence.  Whatever argument that had caused Adam to storm out of the council chambers in the first place still hangs over them, threatening to restart if one of the half-brothers says the wrong thing.  They can’t sit in silence forever, though, and by the time the lunch dishes are cleared, Adam and Dean have returned to the conversation they’d been having earlier.

            “Look, Adam, I didn’t mean to insult you earlier.”  Dean says.  Castiel shifts so he’s sideways over Dean’s lap, making it easier for him to calm his mate if he needs to.  “All the signs are pointing to this winter being a bad one.  I’m not trying to take over your pack, I’m offering them warmth and safety through the winter.”

            Adam let out a long sigh.  “You’ve never cared before.”

            “I’ve had time to think.  You’re family.”  

            “It’s more than that.”  Adam counters.  “Sure, you’ve sent food before, but you’ve never once asked me to move into the castle.  What changed?”

            “Dad’s dead, Adam.”

            “Yeah, so there’s no reason for you to care.”

            Castiel can sense that the argument is about to flair up again.  “Dean does care about you, Adam.”  He says quietly, unsure if the two men will welcome the interruption or not.

            There’s a pause, the possibility of a fight breaking out still hanging heavy in the air.  Dean’s arms tighten around Castiel protectively.  Adam, though, studies Castiel carefully for a few moments.  “Can I talk with you, Castiel?”  He asks.  “Without Dean.”

            Castiel hadn’t been expecting that.  He knows his scent has shifted, betraying how nervous he is, but some part of him trusts Adam.  Underneath the tough exterior he’s put up, Castiel knows he’s still only a fourteen year old boy mourning the loss of his father.

            “Okay.”  Castiel says before Dean has the chance to say anything.  

            “You don’t have to, Cas.”  Dean says.  

            “I know.”  Castiel turns to look at his mate.  “I want to, okay?  Just promise you’ll be right outside the door.”

            “Of course.”  Dean says.  He presses a kiss against Castiel’s forehead, then sends a warning glare at Adam.  “Don’t you dare do anything to hurt him or scare him, understand?”  

            Adam, for the first time, looks nervous.  “I won’t, Dean.  I’d never do something like that.”

            The door shuts behind Dean and Castiel is left alone with Adam.  The beta has completely dropped the tough act he had been using around Dean.  Castiel can’t help but feel sorry for the boy, thrust into the role of leading a pack, however small.  He understands now why Dean cares about Adam, despite everything Adam represents - his mother’s death, his father’s disappearance and betrayal.  

            “Can I ask you something?”  Adams says so quietly Castiel can barely hear him.  When Castiel nods, the younger boy continues.  “Do you love Dean?”

            It’s not the question Castiel’s expecting, but the answer rolls off his tongue immediately.  “Yes.  He means the world to me.”

            Adam nods, his eyes distant.  “Do you trust him?”

            “Yes.”

            “I mean, really trust him?”  Adam’s voice is sharp.  

            Castiel takes a deep breath.  He wants to reassure Adam, convince him to spend the winter in the safety of the castle.  He knows how much that would mean to Dean.  But in order to do so, he realizes, he’s going to have to bare a little more of his heart than he would to a relative stranger.  

            “I do.”  Castiel says.  “The pack I came from treated omegas like animals.  I came here and thought Dean would do the same.  But he respected the fact I needed time to adjust.  He does everything he can to help me when the bad memories take over.  He stood up to my old Pack Alpha and saved my omega brother from my old pack.  He’s a good person, Adam.”

            The young beta is quiet for a long time.  When he finally looks up at Castiel, there are unshed tears in the corners of his eyes.  “He has every reason to hate me, you know.  Did he tell you about how we’re related?”

            “Dean said that his father went crazy with grief after his mother died and ran away from the pack.  You’re his half-brother.”

            “Mary didn’t die until I was eight.”  Adam says.  “My dad loved her more than anything, but that didn’t stop him from sleeping with my mom.”

            “Oh.”  Castiel says.  It’s the only thing that he can think of.

            “Yeah.  I’m the proof that our Dad couldn’t stay faithful to Mary.”

            “That’s not your fault.”  Castiel says gently.  Acting on instinct, he reaches across the table and grabs hold of Adam’s hand.  “And Dean knows it isn’t your fault.  You got caught in the middle.  Dean considers you family, and that’s all that really matters.”

            Adam looks down at their clasped hands.  “What about you?”

            “I told you, I trust Dean.  If he says you’re family, then you’re family.”

            “Thanks, Castiel.”  Adam says.  Louder, he calls through the door, “Dean, you can come back in.”

            Dean looks taken aback to see his mate and his half-brother holding hands, but he doesn’t say anything about it, just stands behind Castiel’s chair, his hands resting on Castiel’s shoulders.  

            “Well?  What’s the verdict?”  Dean asks.

            “My pack will move in for the winter.”  Adam says.  “If you’ll have us.”

            Dean sounds truly happy when he says, “Welcome to the pack, Adam.”

 

* * *

 

 

            Later, when it’s just him and Dean alone in their room, Dean pulls Castiel close and kisses him.  “Cas, thank you.  I mean it.  I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to that kid.”

            Castiel snuggles into Dean’s warm embrace.  “He was scared.  All I did was tell him that you cared about him.”

            “And I love you.”  Dean says.  

            “I love you too.”  Castiel says.  For a while they stay like that, curled against each other, watching the flames in the fireplace dance.  It’s not until a gust of wind howls outside that Castiel speaks.  “Keep me warm?”  He asks, looking up at his mate with a smirk.  Dean grins.  In one quick motion, he sweeps Castiel up onto his lap and captures his lips in a slow kiss that brings shivers to Castiel.

            “Anything for you, Cas.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got a new chapter up! Thanks for sticking around, and I hope you like this one! It's a little more plot driven than some of the others, and I changed around some timeline stuff to make it fit the story. I'm going to try to not take as long to post the next chapter, but I make no promises. Please tell me what you think!


	16. Chapter 16

            It’s the first night since they fought that Dean isn’t in bed with Cas, and he tries to push the guilt from his mind.  He’ll be back with his mate soon enough.  Right now, though, he’s waiting for Sam to return.  Dean had gotten word at dinner that his brother was returning that night.  The storm had only let up early that morning, meaning Sam’s going to return two days later than expected.  Dean tries not to let it show too much, but he worries about his little brother.  He’ll be glad when he sees Sam and can rest a little easier.

            Not much easier, though.  Cas has been acting funny all day, refusing to leave their rooms at all.  Dean thinks his mate is probably coming down with something - not unusual, given the cold weather and all the time they spent outdoors.  He’d asked Cas if he wanted to wait for Sam with him, but Cas had asked if he could just crawl into bed instead.  If Dean wasn’t so concerned about his brother and what news he might bring, he would never have left Cas’s side.  As it is, he feels uneasy and guilty that he’s left his sick mate alone.

            Sam’s arrival takes his mind of Cas, if only temporarily.  Both he and Bobby have grim looks on their faces when they arrive not long before midnight.  Dean waits as the servants bring them warm clothes and settle them by the fire to eat a decent meal.  He takes a seat by the other two men and waits as they finish eating.

            “Glad you’re back, Sammy.”  Dean says.  “You too, Bobby.  We were getting worried.”

            “You didn’t get caught up in the storm, did you?”  Sam asks.

            “Only the start.”  Dean replies.  “Where did you spend the storm?”

            Sam grimaced.  “Near the border.  I’ve got news - none of it good - but we can’t discuss it here.”

            Dean sighs.  “I’m guessing it has to do with our neighbors to the east?”  He asks, and Sam and Bobby both nod in confirmation.  “Can it wait until morning?”

            “Yeah.”  Sam says.  “I don’t think I could talk straight tonight no matter how hard I tried.  We’ve barely slept.”

            “He’s barely slept.”  Bobby interjects.  “Worried sick about Jess.  I slept just fine.”

            Dean laughs.  Jess had gone on one of these journeys once and had since decided she’d rather stay at the castle.  Sam’s never been one to spend time away from his mate.  Without fail, he and Bobby have the same exchange each time they return.

            “I had someone send for Jess as soon as you arrived.”  He told Sam.  “She should be here any moment.”

            Sure enough, Sam’s only just finished second helpings of Ellen’s stew when Jess comes flying into the room and throws herself at Sam.  Bobby rolls his eyes and Dean excuses himself, eager to get back to his own mate.

            Cas is still awake when Dean returns.  He’s been restlessly turning in bed, if the blankets strewn about are anything to go on, but he stills when Dean slides in next to him and kisses him.  Cas curls up into Dean and falls asleep almost instantly.  It takes longer for Dean.  He’s concerned with the news Sam has for him.  He’s got a decent idea of what it’s about, but the look on Sam’s and Bobby’s faces was enough to worry him that it’s more serious than he thought.

           

 

* * *

  


 

            Cas doesn’t look much better in the morning.  He barely moves when Dean gets out of bed, and his forehead feels hot when Dean presses a kiss against it.  Dean decides it’s best to go see Sam now, and then he can come back and properly take care of his mate.  On his way out, however, he tells one of the guards to send for the healer.  He feels guilty that he can’t stay with Cas, but he needs to make sure his entire pack is safe first, and he knows the healer will care for Cas in the meantime.  

            Sam is already waiting for him in the council chambers, looking like he barely slept the night before.  Bobby arrives moments after Dean, trailed by Rufus and a few other members of the pack.  

            “Most of the settlements looked good.”  Sam says as they all take their places at the table.  “There’s a few that will need to be checked on periodically, but everything looked ready for winter.”  He takes a deep breath.  “The real problem is the pack to the east.  Jody mentioned that it looked like there could be a struggle for power, remember?  The newest reports are coming back saying that the Pack Alpha has been killed and his cousin has taken his place.  Nothing’s been confirmed yet, though.  At the very least, the whole pack has been swept up in the fighting.”

            Dean grimaces.  He’s not particularly concerned about any danger to his own pack.  These sorts of power struggles tend to be contained within the pack they started in, and this other pack is far enough away that winter will keep any troubles far from his borders.  Still, he’s worried about people fleeing the pack.

            Before Sam can explain much further, there’s a knock at the door.  Benny sticks his head in, looking a little flustered and uncomfortable.  “Dean?  The healer said you’d better return.  Castiel is going into heat.”

            Dean feels like a complete idiot.  He should have recognized the signs himself.  Cas has been restless and feverish - clear indication of an omega going into heat.  

            “Sammy, I’m sorry to do this to you, but-”

            “I understand.”  Sam says, cutting him off with a smile.  “Go take care of your mate.  I’ll have the reports sent to you once I get the chance to write everything down.”

            Dean thanks Sam and rushes back to his rooms.  Before he can go in, however, he’s intercepted by a stern-looking Ellen.  “Dean, you listen to me.  You know this is his first heat, right?”

            “Yes.”  Dean says.  Omegas don’t go into heat until they’ve been mated.  “Ellen, I know how to take care of Cas.  Don’t worry.  Can you just make sure a tray of food gets sent up every couple of hours?”

            Ellen eyes him before nodding.  “Of course.”  She says.  Dean starts to open the door, but she stops him.  “He’s scared, Dean.  Really scared.  I know you had important business, but you make sure he knows that you didn’t abandon him, got it?”

            If Dean hadn’t been feeling guilty before, he definitely is now.  He’s about to answer Ellen when he hears Cas call his name, and all thoughts other than Cas leave his head.  He pushes the door open and makes sure it’s locked behind him.  

            The bedroom looks nothing like it did when Dean left it a half hour earlier.  Cas has pulled all the blankets from the bed.  They, along with pillows and cushions from both the bed and sofa, encircle the edges of the bed, making a cozy nest.  Cas is awake.  He’s standing in the middle of the room, completely naked, clutching a pillow to his chest.  Dean growls at the sight of his mate and at the heavenly scent that’s filling the room.  

            Cas drops the pillow and falls to his knees.  Before Dean can process what’s happening, Cas has presented right there on the floor.  “Alpha, please, take care of me.  Please, Alpha.  I’ll be good, I promise.”  Cas babbles, and it’s only then that Dean realizes his mate is shaking, not from the heat but out of fear.  His heart sinks.  Cas has made so much progress since he’s arrived, and now he’s acting like the terrified, hurt omega he was back when Dean first saw him.  

            “Hey, Cas, it’s okay.”  Dean says, keeping his voice as low as possible.  He doesn’t want to scare Cas, and he definitely doesn’t want to risk using his alpha voice.  “You made a perfect nest for us, baby.”

            Cas doesn’t move from the floor.  Dean’s wrestling to control his alpha instincts, which are going crazy at the sight of Cas’s slick hole and flushed skin.  He approaches Cas slowly.  Now that he’s adjusted to the Cas-in-heat scent, he’s able to smell another, more familiar scent coming from his mate - fear.  Dean sits on the floor next to Cas’s head and tries to think of the best way to calm him.

            “Cas, can you look at me?”  He asks gently.  Slowly Cas brings his head up, just enough to glance up at Dean before return his gaze to the floor.  “I’m gonna take care of you, Cas.  I promise.  There’s nothing to be afraid of.  I’ll never hurt you.”

            Cas looks up again.  “Why aren’t you knotting me, Alpha?  Did I do something wrong?”

            “No, of course not.”  Dean says.  “This isn’t your old pack.  I don’t know what they told you about going into heat there, but I promise you I will take care of you and always treat you like my beautiful mate.”

            Cas goes from presenting to kneeling, and at least that’s a start.  He’s got a look of absolute confusion on his face.  “Old alpha said omegas in heat were just there to make alphas happy.  He used to say that if I was lucky he might give me to an alpha that would feed me during my heat.”

            Dean’s heart breaks.  He’s realizing that there’s so much of Cas’s past that remains a mystery to him even now.  However, this isn’t the time to dwell on that.  Right now, he needs Cas to trust him.  “I would never treat you that way.  I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up, but I’m not going to leave you.  I’m going to take care of you and feed you and cherish you.”  Dean’s never been one for such flowery sentiments, but he doesn’t know any other way to put his feelings into words.  “You don’t have to be scared, baby.”

            Cas finally looks into Dean’s eyes.  “But it is scary.  I’ve never felt like this before.”

            “I know.  Just let me help you, okay?”

            Cas nods.  “Okay.”  He whispers.

            Dean relaxes slightly, though he’s aware that Cas is still smelling of fear.  He carefully lifts his mate into his arms and guides Cas’s head to his neck.  He’s hoping his scent will help calm Cas.  He moves them to the bed, making sure not to disturb Cas’s nest.  Once he props Cas up against the pillows, he quickly strips out of his own clothes.  

            “Come here?”  Cas asks when Dean doesn’t immediately join him on the bed.  

            Dean does as his mate asks, arranging them so that Cas is straddling his lap.  Dean wants to take as much time as possible to make Cas feel safe and comfortable, even though his instincts are telling him to knot his omega now.

            Cas curls into Dean, trying to touch as much skin as possible.  He all but melts against Dean, a pleased moan passing his lips.  Dean runs his hands over Cas’s body, his instincts telling him to make sure every inch of his mate smelled like him.  As he does, the scent of fear in the room eases up.  It isn’t long before Cas is squirming and whining every time Dean’s hands run over his thighs and hips.

            “You’re beautiful, baby.”  Dean says.  He turns his attention to the claiming bite on Cas’s shoulder, sucking on it hard enough to leave a beautiful bruise.  Cas moans, his entire body trembling under Dean’s hands.  Dean uses two fingers to swipe up some of the slick leaking down Cas’s thighs and brings them to Cas’s mouth.  Those perfect lips part to allow Dean’s fingers entrance, and now it’s Dean’s turn to moan.  

            “Dean?”  Cas asks once Dean removes his fingers.  “Knot me?  Please?”  He’s apparently past using words with more than one syllable, though Dean isn’t far behind him.  

            “Of course, Cas.”  Dean tells him.  Cas is producing so much slick that he really doesn’t need much time to stretch his omega.  Dean flips them both over so Cas is on his back before pushing into Cas.  His mate lets out a strangled cry of pleasure, his whole body arching up off the bed.  

            “More!”  Cas begs.  “More, more, please.”

            Dean sets a harsh pace, just barely holding in his instincts.  He doesn’t want to scare Cas or to hurt him, and he’s afraid that the alpha in him will only focus on knotting his omega.  The heavenly scent Cas is giving off isn’t helping him control himself.  It’s the best thing Dean has ever smelled, a wonderful, intoxicating mix of the scents Cas always smells like and the steady beat of desire and need and arousal that surrounds them.  

            Cas is writhing under Dean, sharp whines leaving his mouth each time Dean moves.  The more that Cas loses himself in the pleasure, the less able Dean is to control his instincts, until he gives up completely.  He growls, a noise that makes Cas go completely pliant.  Dean sets to marking as much of Cas as possible, biting and sucking along his neck and chest.  

            Dean is faintly aware that Cas is moaning his name, begging him not to stop, but he can’t seem to form words to reply.  He settles for nuzzling against Cas for a moment before returning his attention to Cas’s mating bite.  He feels his knot start to form, catching as he slides in and out of his perfect mate.  That’s enough to send Cas over the edge.  His whole body spasms, his voice hoarse as he calls out Dean’s name.  Dean keeps fucking him, letting Cas ride that wave of pleasure as long as possible until Dean’s knot forms and he’s tied up with his beautiful omega.  Cas moans as Dean fills him, tilting his head up for a kiss.  Dean bites down on Cas’s lip, tugging at it slightly.  He wants everyone to know that this is his omega, his mate.  He also can’t deny the fact he loves seeing his mate looked so wrecked and so happy.

            “God, Cas.”  Dean says.  His mate just grins at him, looking drunk on sex and incapable of speaking.  Dean rolls them over so his weight is not on Cas and just basks in the feeling of being with Cas.  

            “Mmm.”  Cas responds, his face pressed into the crook of Dean’s neck.  For a few moments both of them lay there, the room silent except for the odd moan.  “So good, alpha.”  Cas mumbles after a couple of minutes.  

            Dean kisses Cas’s sweaty forehead.  “How about you get some sleep, baby?  And then we can eat when you wake up.”

            “Okay.”  Cas agrees, his voice muffled.  It’s not long before his breath evens out.  Dean stays awake for a while, content to feel the rise and fall of Cas’s chest against his.  

* * *

  


            Cas in heat turns out to be very demanding, once he’s reassured that Dean’s not going to treat him like his old alpha threatened.  Dean loves it.  He wakes up more than once to Cas pawing at him and whining in need.  Occasionally, when the heat dies down enough, they just curl up together and talk.  Dean understands now that heats are so much more than just sex.  It’s a chance for mates to grow close, to bond in a way that they wouldn’t be able to otherwise.  That’s not to say they don’t fuck - they do, a lot.  Sometimes Dean has Cas ride him, when he’s too exhausted to do anything else.  It’s downright impossible for them to manage to eat an entire meal without it turning sensual, and Dean’s aware that if anyone else were to enter their rooms, the smell would be overwhelming.  

            Both of them are blissed out and exhausted, and Dean wouldn’t have it any other way.  Still, when he wakes up on the sixth morning since Cas’s heat started, he’s a bit relieved that the scent of desperate need is gone from Cas.  

            “Morning, babe.”  Dean greets his mate, kissing him to full alertness.  

            Cas stretches and smiles at Dean.  “Morning.”  He says.  His voice is hoarse from all the yelling he’s done the past week.  

            “How are you feeling?”

            “Mmm.”  Cas considers the question.  “Good, mostly.  I want a bath and real food.  But good.”  He threads his fingers through Dean’s hair and pulls him close so they can kiss again.  “Thank you.”  He adds in a soft whisper.  “For taking care of me, I mean.”

            Not for the first time, Dean wishes he could have saved Cas long before his old alpha had given him such bleak ideas on what his future would hold.  He wants to tell Cas that any decent alpha would’ve taken care of their mate through a heat, but he doesn’t think that’s the appropriate response at the moment.

            “I always will.”  Dean promises instead.  

            They soak in the bath until all the warmth is gone from the water.  A tray with fruit and bread is waiting for them, and Dean takes the last little bit of time that’s just the two of them to curl around his mate as they eat.  Sadly, there’s only so long that they can stay isolated from the rest of the pack, and it isn’t long before someone knocks on the door.

            “Just a minute!”  Dean calls, aware that neither of them have any clothing nearby.  Cas merely wraps himself in one of the blankets, but Dean has to find a pair of pants before he opens the door.  Jo - who, as a beta, had been one of the temporary guards stationed outside their rooms during Cas’s heat - is leaning against the doorway with a smirk on her face.  

            “I hate to ruin your little honeymoon here, but the real world is calling.”  Jo informs Dean.  “Sam asked that you and Cas join him to discuss something.  He won’t tell anyone what it’s about.”

            Dean realizes then that he’s never even glanced at the notes Sam sent him about his trip.  He doesn’t have much time to dwell on that, or anything else for that matter, before Jo continues.

            “Adam’s pack moved in two days ago.  They’re mostly settled.  A few issues, but Sam has everyone straightened out for now.  We’re having a feast tonight to officially welcome them.”

            “Tonight?”

            “Yeah.”  Jo says, her wicked smirk returning.  “Why?  You aren’t tired, are you?”  Dean growls at her, but she’s known him her entire life and she just ignores it completely.  “After you see Sam, Mom wants to talk to you.  I think that’s everything.”

            She leaves, the door shutting behind her, and Dean turns to Cas with a helpless look on his face.  “So much for easing back into things.”  He says.

            “Aww, my poor alpha.”  Cas croons.  The bath seems to have helped him get back to his normal self, the fear tucked away for the time being.  

            “I’m not doing this alone.”  Dean warns.  He’s familiar with the hint of teasing in Cas’s voice.  “Sam wants both of us.”

            “He can wait.”  Cas replies.  “Your mate is over here, naked.  Come back to bed.”

            Dean stares at Cas, slightly horrified.  As much as he loves the sight of Cas without clothes, he’s way too exhausted to have sex again anytime soon.  He’s trying to think of a way to let his mate down gently when Cas bursts out laughing.  

            “Very funny.”  Dean says when he realizes the joke.

            Cas grins.  “Thanks.”  He stands, the blanket still wrapped around his waist, and gives Dean a chaste kiss on the lips - at least, in comparison to the past few days.  “I love you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An xmas present to everyone - a new (and slightly longer than normal) chapter! This is mostly porn - more plot is coming up soon! Hugs to everyone, and sorry for taking so long to post! Please let me know what you think!


	17. Chapter 17

            It’s a bit strange to be wearing clothes again, but Castiel is well aware of Ellen’s opinions of anyone running around the castle naked.  Instead, Castiel dresses in one of Dean’s shirts.  He may not be in heat anymore, but the scent of _his_ alpha surrounding him makes him feel safer as they leave their room for the first time in a week.

            “Why does Sam need both of us?”  Dean asks as they walk through the halls towards Sam’s room.  Castiel has a fairly decent idea, but he made a promise not to tell Dean anything about Sam, Jess, and Gabe mating, so he doesn’t say anything.  

            Sam isn’t in his room, and Dean gives a little growl of annoyance that has pleasant shivers running down Castiel’s spine.  He loves Dean’s growl.  After his heat, he’s not sure he’s going to be able to hear it without getting a little slick.

            They find Sam in the library.  He’s pouring over some important looking documents.  Jess and Gabe are there too, curled up next to each other on one of the plush sofas.  It makes Castiel happy to see Gabe finally out of the infirmary, even if he’s still wearing a cast on his arm.  Gabe winks at Castiel and says something under his breath to Jess.  By the way she stifles a laugh, Castiel is certain it’s some comment about his heat.  At least that much hasn’t changed.

            “Dean!”  Sam says, looking up from the papers.  “Castiel, it’s good to see you.”

            “What’s up?”  Dean asks.  “Is this about the news from your trip?”

            “No.”  Sam says, making a face.  “We can talk about that later.  I have something I want to tell you.”

            “And what is that?”  Dean asks slowly.  

            Sam responds by striding over to where Jess and Gabe are sitting.  The two omegas glance at each other before both pulling down their shirts enough to expose their mating bites.  Even though Cas had known this was coming, he’s filled with the same joy as if he was hearing about it for the first time.  Gabe looks so happy, and the three of them really do seem to have a good partnership.  

            “You three are mated?”  Dean asks at the same time Castiel runs forward to give his omega brother a huge hug.  

            “Surprise!”  Gabe yells, much too close to Castiel’s ear, and Jess giggles next to him.

            “Uh, yeah.”  Sam says, and he sounds almost bashful.  “A little while ago.  With your blessing, I want to announce it to the pack tonight, at the feast.”

            Dean steps forward and gives Sam a hug.  “Yeah, of course.  Congratulations, Sammy.  You too, Jess and Gabriel.  I’m really happy for you three.”  

            Jess presses a kiss against Dean’s cheek.  “Thank you, Dean.”

            Dean pulls Castiel back towards him.  “You don’t seem that surprised.”  He says, but Castiel knows his mate’s voice well enough to know that Dean isn’t mad.  

            “Gabe and Jess told me before Sam got back.”  Castiel admits.  “But Sam wanted to be the one to tell you.”  He curls into Dean’s embrace, basking in the happy scents he can smell coming from his mate and from his brother.  Not for the first time, he thinks about how lucky he has been to find a pack that loves him.

            They stay a while longer before Dean remembers that Ellen had wanted to see him too.  They make their way through the halls of the castle down towards the kitchen.  It’s a slow process, mainly because Dean keeps pushing Castiel up against the wall and scenting him.  Castiel knows he still has the lingering heat smell that’s making Dean equal parts protective and aroused.  He happily bares his neck for Dean to scent.  There’s something different about their bond now that they’ve gone through Castiel’s first heat together.  It’s stronger, and Castiel feels more comfortable than ever.  

            Ellen takes one look at them and rolls her eyes.  “Dean Winchester, can you at least try to behave in public?  I’m sure Castiel looked presentable when he left your room.”

            Castiel blushes and attempts to straighten his shirt.  Dean, on the other hand, laughs it off.  “Jo said you wanted to see me?”

            “Mmm-hmm.”  Ellen hums in reply, turning her attention to something cooking on the stove.  It smells heavenly, and Castiel is suddenly more interested in what’s for dinner than the current conversation.  “Adam’s in a bit of a state.”

            Dean groans.  “What about?”

            “Not sure exactly.  I think he’s just a bit freaked out being surrounded by the pack his father abandoned.”  Ellen says.  “The entire group of them hasn’t left the rooms we gave them since they’ve arrived.  And I haven’t even seen Adam’s mother.  I think Adam may be worried about your reaction to her.”

            Dean sighs.  “I better go talk to him.”

            “Wait.”  Castiel says, putting his hand on Dean’s arm.  “May I try first?  Adam might feel more comfortable that way.”

            “Are you sure?”

            “Yes.”  Castiel replies.  He’d taken a liking to Dean’s half-brother when they met before, and he figures that Adam won’t be as nervous around him as he would be around Dean.  “I’m your mate, so he’ll listen to me, but I’m also an omega and an outsider, so he won’t feel threatened or concerned.”

            Dean pulls Castiel close and kisses him.  Castiel closes his eyes and just lets the feeling of love and safety and home settle over him.  “I love you, baby.”  Dean says.  “And you’re right.  That probably will go better.  Just, have Jo go with you, okay?  I don’t want you completely alone.”

            Castiel agrees, and then stands up on his tiptoes to steal another kiss from his alpha.  

            “Not in my kitchen.”  Ellen says jokingly, pushing both of them towards the door.

            Dean holds up his hands in mock surrender.  “Before you kick us out, do you know where Jo is?”  
            “I can look after the entire castle, or I can keep tabs on my daughter, but I can’t do both.”  Ellen says with a laugh.  Castiel smiles, knowing that there’s nothing Ellen doesn’t know about the pack.  “Try the training grounds.”

            Twenty minutes later, with a slightly out-of-breath and sweaty Jo at his side, Castiel makes his way to the wing of the castle where Adam’s pack had been given rooms.  Dean, after asking several times if Castiel was really comfortable with doing this, had finally left, telling Castiel he would be in the library with Sam.  

            Castiel’s heart starts beating faster as he knocks on the door to Adam’s room.  It’s silly, he tries telling himself - Adam is practically still a pup, after all.  Still, the scent of fear is strong enough for Jo to pat him on the back encouragingly.  

            “You’ll be fine.”  She says.  “And if you aren’t, I’ll beat people up for you.”

            “Thanks, Jo.”

            Adam opens the door and seems surprised to see Castiel there.  He peers around, clearly looking for Dean, before returning his attention to Castiel.  “Hi, Castiel.”  He says hesitantly.

            “Hi, Adam.  Can I come in?  I want to make sure your pack has everything they need.”  Castiel says.

            There’s a pause.  Adam looks so young and vulnerable, much more so than he did the last time Castiel saw him.  Adam finally steps back, letting Castiel into the room.  It’s a sitting area, with a fire roaring in the fireplace and doors leading off to what Castiel assumes are the small pack’s bedrooms.  Castiel follows Adam across the room to the sofas arranged in front of the fireplace.

            “Why isn’t Dean here?”  Adam asks after a few moments of silence.  

            “I wanted to talk to you first.”  Castiel says.  His instincts are telling him to comfort the young beta, and Castiel has to stop himself from reaching out to Adam.  He knows Adam is scared - the bitter scent is easy to smell - and most likely a bit ashamed at having to turn to Dean to get through the winter.  Castiel wants to tell Adam that it’s okay, but he’s not exactly sure how.  The last thing he wants is to insult Adam.  “Besides, Dean’s still in that growly alpha-after-heat mode.”

            That, at least, gets a small smile from Adam.  “I didn’t mean to sound rude.”  He says quietly.  “I’m just - my instincts are all over the place, you know?

            “Yes.”  Castiel agrees.  He tries to think what will be the best way to phrase what he needs to say.  “And Dean understands too.  Really.”  Adam looks skeptical, so Castiel hurries on.  “Look, I’m not going to lie and say everything’s fine.  I get that you and Dean have some issues about what happened.  But you and your pack are safe here.”

            “It’s my mom.”  Adam says.  “I know everyone in the pack loved Mary, and then here’s my mom, the one that stole John away.”

            “I can’t promise that the whole pack is going to welcome her with open arms.”  Castiel says.  “But this pack isn’t vengeful, not like that.  They won’t hurt her.”

            “You can’t know that for certain.”  Adam replies, his voice rising.  

            “You’re right.”  Castiel says.  “I don’t.  But I know this pack.  They respect Dean, and since Dean wants you here, they’ll listen.”

            Adam shrugs, his scent turning sour.  He’s quiet for a few minutes, and Castiel starts to wonder if he’s said the wrong thing or if he should go.  But eventually Adam sighs and reaches out for Castiel’s hand.  Castiel finds it a bit strange how touchy Adam is, but then he reminds himself that the beta’s still young, and his instincts are responding to the fact that Castiel is an omega.  

            “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”  Adam says, almost to himself.  

            “What wasn’t?”  
            “My dad, he always said I should have been an alpha.”  Adam replies.  He hugs his knees up against his chest, looking more than anything like a small, scared pup.  “It’s one of my earliest memories, him yelling that Dean and Sam were both alphas, and I was just a scrawny little beta.”

            “Adam-”

            “And he was right.”  Adam’s voice twists bitterly.  “If I had been an alpha, I could have protected my pack instead of running to Dean for help.”

            “But you are protecting your pack.”  Castiel tells him.  “And Dean wants to protect you.  You’re family, and family means everything to Dean.”

            “I just don’t know.”  Adams says.  “Most of my pack thinks I’m a stupid pup for coming here.  Dean sees me as a pup, too.”

            Castiel hesitates for a moment.  He knows what he wants to say, but he’s worried about sounding too harsh.  In the end, he decides to go a different direction.  It’s not in his nature to be harsh.  “Dean sees Sam as a pup still.”  He finally says.  “You’re his little brother, and maybe you didn’t get that same relationship before, but you’ve both taken the first step towards forming one now.”

            Adam blinks rapidly a few times, clearly trying to hold back tears.  “I’m scared.”  He admits.  “I don’t get why he’d want to have anything to do with me, I really don’t.  And I get that we’re family, but it hasn’t mattered in the past.”

            “I only know what’s happening now.”  Castiel reminds him.  “Just give it a chance, okay?”

            “I - okay.”  Adam agrees.  He rubs his face and sighs.  “There’s a feast tonight, right?”

            “Yes.”  Castiel confirms.  “You’ll be there?”

            “Yeah.”  Adam says.  “I don’t know how much of my pack will show, but I’ll be there.”

            “Good.”

 

* * *

 

 

            Castiel spends close to an hour talking with Adam, moving on from the beta’s fears to just getting to know each other better.  When they finally say goodbye, Adam seems much more relaxed than he did before, although Castiel knows that he hasn’t soothed all of Adam’s concerns.  It’s hard, especially when Castiel knows that in his old pack, someone in Adam’s situation would have been killed at the first opportunity.  He’s thankful he’s here now, with a mate and the safety of a pack who cares about him.  

            Castiel isn’t familiar with this part of the castle, so he asks Jo to take him back up to the library to see Dean.  Once he’s sure he knows the rest of the way, he says goodbye to Jo, who goes back to the training grounds.  

            Castiel pushes open the heavy library door, eager to see his mate.  This soon after heat, his instincts are telling him to stay near his alpha.  And instincts aside, Castiel just wants to kiss Dean.

            Those thoughts, though, are ripped from his mind as soon as he enters the room.  Jess and Gabe are nowhere in sight, but Bobby’s joined Dean and Sam.  The three of them have their backs to the door and are so engrossed in whatever is laid out on the table in front of them that they don’t notice Castiel.  

            “I don’t like how this is looking.”  Dean is saying.  “Are we sure that Raphael is the new Alpha?”

            “Dean?”  Castiel says, not wanting the three alphas to think he’s eavesdropping or interrupting.

            Dean turns from the table, and Castiel’s heart drops instantly.  His mate’s face is ashen, his expression pinched and concerned.  Dean sends a pleading look over to Sam before turning back to look at Castiel.  

            “Cas, there’s - there’s something that I need to tell you.”  Dean says.  He crosses the room so he can hold both of Castiel’s hands.  “The pack to the east of us has been taken over by one of your old pack’s closest allies.  It’s the Novak Alpha’s cousin.”

            Castiel feels like the floor just dropped out from under him.  Dean had promised, had shown him on the map, just how far away his old pack was.  To hear that a Novak has come to power so close to his new home is terrifying.  “No.  No, that can’t be true.”  He begs.  “I don’t want them near me.”

            He doesn’t hear Dean’ reply.  Instead, his vision goes dark and he collapses to the floor as pure panic takes over.

           

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I finally got this chapter written! I've been a bit stuck on where the story is going, but I think I've got it figured out now. So lots of plot in this chapter~hope you enjoy!


	18. Chapter 18

            The first thing Castiel sees when he opens his eyes is Dean’s face.  He looks all blurry, and when Castiel tries to reach up and touch his mate’s face, he finds that his arm feels too heavy to lift.  “Dean?”  He slurs out instead.  “Can’t move.”

            “It’s okay, baby.”  Dean says.  

            “No.  No, it’s not.”  Castiel insists.  A voice in the back of his mind is telling him to run, to hide, to get somewhere safe.  He tries to push himself upright.  Dean stops him with a firm hand against his chest.  “Let me go!”  
            “Cas, wait.  You’re safe.”  Dean says firmly.  

            “But - you said - old pack.”

            “I promised you would be safe here, and you are.”  Dean says.  “You fainted.  You’ve been out cold for a little while.”  He brushes some of Castiel’s hair off his forehead before giving him a soft kiss.  “Just stay right here until you feel a bit better.”

            Castiel reluctantly settles back onto the sofa - he’s only now realizing that he’s still in the library.  “Please, Dean, just tell me.”  He says softly.  “Is my old alpha going to try something?”

            Dean sighs.  “I don’t know, Cas.”  He answers.  “Sam first told me about the reports the morning your heat started, and I didn’t get the chance to look at them until today.  I wouldn’t keep anything from you, I promise.”

            “I know.  I trust you.”  And he does.  As scared as he is, Castiel knows Dean isn’t going to tell him lies, especially not about something as important as this.  Castiel tries moving his hand again.  This time, he manages to lift it just enough to grab onto Dean’s hand.  He holds on tightly to his mate, wanting the physical connection for whatever Dean’s about to tell him.

            It takes a moment for Dean to start.  “You remember the maps I showed you?  The pack to the east of us has been unsettled for some time now, since well before I even met you.  One of the relatives of the Alpha - we’re still not sure how they’re related, just that they are - has been causing trouble recently, and he finally succeeded in killing the Alpha and taking over the pack.  His name is Raphael, and he is the Novak Alpha’s cousin.”

            Castiel doesn’t say anything in response, too busy trying to process what Dean has told him.  He doesn’t know what this all means, exactly, only that all of the sudden his old alpha seems closer than before, and the thought terrifies him.

            “That’s all we know right now.”  Dean says.  “I’m sorry I don’t have more information.”  He’s quiet for a moment.  His scent turns wary before he asks, “I know this is a long shot, but do you know anything about this Raphael?”

            “No.”  Castiel answers.  “I’ve never heard the name before.  I’m sorry.”

            “Don’t be.”  Dean says fiercely.  He cups Castiel’s chin with his free hand, tilting his head so that their eyes meet.  “Cas, I promise you, I’m not going to let anyone hurt you ever again.”

            Castiel smiles at Dean’s words.  His mate sounds so confident and sure that Castiel can’t help but be reassured, even if there’s a lingering fear of his old pack.  “I love you, Dean.”  He says softly, leaning towards Dean so he can scent him.  

            When Castiel is feeling better, Dean gives him the reports to read for himself.  They make for difficult reading, but Castiel feels safer sitting on Dean’s lap, with his mate’s arms wrapped tightly around him.  

            There’s nothing in the reports that indicates the Novak Alpha is particularly close to this cousin of his, but the threat is still there.  Dean had insulted the Novak Alpha by accepting Gabriel into his pack and by mating with Castiel and refusing to form an alliance with the Novak pack.  Having any relation of his in power so close to home poses a danger.  

            “I wish you would never have to hear about the Novak pack again.”  Dean admits.  His scent turns sad, the freshly-baked-goods scent that Castiel loves so much disappearing and a sharper note of sorrow taking its place.  “I want you to be able to leave that in your past and just be happy.”

            Castiel’s touched.  Dean isn’t exactly the sort for romantic statements, or really anything too emotional.  He curls up against Dean, resting his head against Dean’s chest.  Their hands intertwine as Castiel speaks.  “I am happy, Dean.  I mean, I wish my old Alpha would just go away forever, but I’m still happy.”

            Dean hugs Castiel tightly, and Castiel melts into his mate’s embrace.  He wishes everything else would just fade away and it could just be the two of them, but unfortunately that’s not what happens.  They barely get a few more minutes to themselves before a maid - under orders from Ellen - arrives to tell them to dress for the night’s festivities.

            “Will they start a war?”  Castiel asks as he carefully buttons his shirt.  

            Dean looks over at him, surprise written across his face.  “Who, Raphael?  I’m not sure.  It’d be an extremely foolish thing for him to do.”

            “Okay.”  Castiel says.  He’s almost regretting asking the question.  Dean’s uncertainty is much harder to accept than a straightforward yes or no.  

            His mate sighs.  “Cas, baby, I don’t have all the answers.  Sam’s doing his best to find out more, but right now, all we can do is wait and see.  But I honestly don’t think we have that much to fear.  Your old alpha is separated from us by several packs I am allied with.  They won’t let him through.  And Raphael may be the new alpha of our neighboring pack, but that doesn’t mean he’s got the support of the pack yet.”

            The words are equally reassuring and upsetting, and Castiel realizes he’s just going to have to accept the fact that he doesn’t know what all of this means, long-term.  He nods his understanding and goes back to buttoning his shirt.  This time, though, his fingers are shaking.

            Castiel doesn’t even realize that Dean’s crossed the room until he’s standing right next to Castiel.  “Shh, baby, it’s okay.”  Dean says, gently pushing Castiel’s hands out of the way and buttoning the last two buttons.  With that done, he guides Castiel to his neck to scent.  Castiel does so gratefully, breathing in deeply, letting Dean’s smoke-tinged scent wash over him and calm him.  “Better?”  Dean asks softly.  

            Castiel nods, not yet willing to pull away.  “Yes.”  He mumbles into Dean’s neck.

            “It’s okay to be scared, Cas.  I just want you to know that nothing bad is going to happen.  We won’t let it.  I won’t, and no one in the pack will either.  You’re a Winchester, remember?”

            Castiel feels a weight lift off of him at that.  He forgets, sometimes, that Dean’s pack is bonded in a way his former pack never was.  “Thanks.”  He whispers.

            “You don’t have to thank me, Cas.  You’re my mate.  I love you and I’ll always protect you.”

 

* * *

 

 

            Dean’s words are still echoing in Castiel’s head as they make their way through the Great Hall a little while later.  The mood isn’t quite as festive as it was the day of the mating feast, but Dean’s pack certainly knows how to celebrate.  There are two more seats at the high table than last time - one for Gabriel, and one for Adam.  

            Dean waits until the room has quieted before standing to speak.  He keeps one hand on Castiel’s shoulder.  It’s a reassuring weight.  He gestures for Adam to stand, and he puts his other hand on Adam’s back.  

            “Today we are welcoming my brother and his pack into our home for the winter.”  Dean says.  There are a few grumbles loud enough to be heard, but Dean silences them with a sharp look.  “Adam, his mother, and the rest of his pack were important to my father, and they are important to me.  They are welcome guests.”  Castiel knows that there’s an unspoken warning in Dean’s words.  Still, Adam’s fears of being unwelcome seem largely unfounded.  The pack claps and howls in greeting.

            Dean and Adam both sit down, and now it’s Sam’s turn to stand.  Jess is tucked under one arm and Gabriel under the other.  This time, whispers race through the crowded room.  “Many of you have heard of Gabriel, the omega beaten by the Novak Alpha.”  Sam says.  “Jess and I have gotten the chance to get to know Gabe as he’s healed, and the three of us are happy to announce that we are mating.”

            The whispers turn much louder, enough so that they can be heard over the howls of the majority of the pack celebrating Sam’s announcement. Gabriel, who has never been one to back down, waves with a little smirk on his face, and Castiel laughs.  Jess had said that they were expecting some of the more traditional members of the pack to be shocked, and both she and Gabriel seem perfectly fine with the reaction.  Sam can’t seem to help the growl that escapes him.  It’s a protective sound, one that Castiel has heard Dean make too.  

            “I’m the luckiest omega in existence.”  Gabriel announces dramatically as they sit back down and begin eating.  

            Adam looks over at Castiel, his eyes wide.  “They don’t hate me.”  He says softly.  “I mean, there was a bigger reaction to Sam than to me.”

            “There’s a reason we went second.”  Gabriel says, overhearing Adam.  “Apparently you’re family or something, so we’ve gotta look out for you.”

            Jess giggles.  “You’re the something.”  She tells Gabriel.  Castiel is happy to hear the fondness in her tone.  Although Jess and Gabriel had grown close, there had still been a part of Castiel worried that Jess might get jealous of Gabriel joining her relationship with Sam.  Luckily, that doesn’t seem at all likely.  

            Dean pats Adam on the back.  “I told you.”  He says, sounding very much like the big brother he is.

            “Actually, Castiel told me.”  Adam says.  He flashes a grin at Castiel.  “At least, he’s the one I believed.”

            Castiel can’t help the swelling of happiness he feels in his chest.  For all the bad and scary news of the day, there’s been a lot of happy moments as well.  He likes the feeling of having family and a pack who care about him.  Looking out at the long tables filled with pack members, Castiel thinks of Dean’s reassurances that the whole pack would keep him safe from his old alpha, and his fears ease a bit more.  

            The feast will most likely be continuing for another couple of hours, but the events of the day and the fact his heat only just ended have Castiel turning to Dean and asking if they can return to their room.  As they stand, Adam jumps up and hugs Castiel.  

            “Thank you, Castiel.”  Adam says.  “I mean it.  For everything you said today, and for welcoming me into the pack.  It means a lot.”

            Castiel smiles at him.  “I’m glad you’re here.”  He tells Adam.  Dean echoes his words, and they say their goodbyes to the rest of the table.  

            The castle, normally bustling with people, is oddly silent with almost everyone at the feast.  Castiel can hear the winter winds howling outside the walls, and he snuggles in closer to his mate.  Dean has an arm wrapped around Castiel, holding him tightly.  

            “I’m lucky.”  Castiel tells Dean.  Although he’s speaking softly, his words carry in the empty hall.  “I’m thankful everyday that you are my mate.”

            “Me too.”  Dean says immediately.  He’s silent as they climb the stairs, only speaking again when they’ve reached the hallway outside their room.  “Cas, I need you to know something.  I know that sometimes you think you don’t deserve any of this, but you do.  You’ve brought Adam into my family, you’ve made Sam and Jess so happy by introducing them to Gabe, you’ve shown the pack what it means to be kind and thoughtful and brave.  You mean the world to me, Cas, and I love you.”

            Dean’s words bring tears to Castiel’s eyes, but they also warm him.  Dean doesn’t always have the easiest time talking about things, but Castiel doesn’t mind because of moments like this.  His mate is smiling down at him with a fondness that Castiel didn’t know could exist before he came to this pack.  Castiel feels slightly dazed by it all, but he answers Dean.  “I love you, Dean.”  He says.  He’s about to add something else when a yawn interrupts him instead.  Dean starts to laugh.

            “Come on, Cas.  Bed time.”

            “Mmm.”  Castiel agrees, thoughts turning to curling up against Dean’s muscular body to keep warm, both of them covered in warm furs.  “Bedtime.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I'm horrible at updating! Sorry for the long wait everyone - I've been dealing with depression and just haven't been in the mood to write very often. I'm not too happy with this chapter, but at least it's done!


	19. Chapter 19

            The first refugees arrive a week after Dean tells Cas about Raphael and his connection with the Novak Pack.  Dean’s been expecting that some people will leave the pack now that its Alpha has changed, but he had thought it wouldn’t be until spring.  There was a great deal of land to cover between the border of their pack lands and where the Winchester Castle stood.  While the worst of the winter storms had yet to arrive, it wouldn’t be long now, and it was still a long and treacherous journey early in winter.

            It’s late evening when these refugees arrive.  Dean and Cas have only just returned to their room after dinner when an out-of-breath Jo arrives to tell Dean to come downstairs right away.  Dean and Cas follow Jo down to the Great Hall, where they are soon met by Sam and Bobby.  

            “Well?”  Dean asks his brother.  “What do you think?”  He’s always trusted Sam’s opinion when it comes to outsiders to the pack.  If Sam thinks this group is safe, then Dean will let them into the pack.  

            Sam nods.  “Benny and Rufus were grilling them for close to an hour.  Story’s the same for all five.  They left during the fighting - didn’t even know the old Alpha had been killed.  They’re half frozen and starved.”

            Dean grimaces.  Next to him, Cas shivers and leans into his side.  Dean wraps his arm around his mate.  He’s uncertain how Cas is going to react to this whole thing, but Cas had insisted he wanted to come with Dean.  Now Dean wonders if he should have insisted Cas stay behind.  It’s a pointless thought, though.  He promised Cas he wouldn’t keep anything from him, and his mate needs to be here, to see with his own eyes that this little group of refugees doesn’t pose a threat.

            “Do we have clothes for them?  Have they been fed?”  Dean asks, turning his attention to the most urgent matter.  He has five people asking to join his pack who need care.  He and Cas will have time later to figure things out.

            “Yes.”  Ellen says, joining them.  The look on her face is enough to tell Dean how bad the refugees look.  “And there’s a pup.”

            Cas gasps.  He looks up at Dean, his beautiful blue eyes wide and worried.  “Please, Dean, don’t turn them away.  You can’t turn a pup away.”

            Well, then.  Maybe Cas isn’t as scared as Dean had thought.  Or, more likely, Cas’s heart overruled his fear.  It’s one of many things Dean loves about his mate.  Cas cares about people so much.  Dean is certain he wouldn’t be that caring if he’d been through the same hell as Cas.

            “I’m not going to turn them away.”  Dean reassures Cas as they enter the Great Hall.  Sam, Rufus, and Benny have decided that the refugees don’t pose any sort of threat.  He’ll ask a few questions of his own, just to establish his role as Pack Alpha, but he’s already planning on welcoming them into the pack.

            Cas gasps again as they see the tiny group of refugees.  The too-thin frames and windburned faces are nothing new to Dean - he’s welcomed several groups of refugees into his pack over the years - but this group is the worse he’s ever seen.  Part of it has to do with the tiny pup nestled in the arms of one of the refugees.  Dean struggles not to speak out in shock himself.  The pup’s in wolf form, but there’s barely any fur left on the little body.  

            “Ellen, send someone to get dry blankets.”  Dean orders.  “And make sure the healer knows to prepare the infirmary.  We’ll need hot food for them, too.”

            Dean strides towards the group.  They seem to realize who he is instantly, for all of them get on their knees and bare their necks in submission.  Dean has to bite back a growl.  He knows plenty of Pack Alphas demand that type of respect, but he isn’t one of them.  

            “Please, stand.”  Dean says.  “I’m Dean Winchester, Alpha of this pack.  I understand you seek refuge here?”

            The only man of the group steps forward.  He’s young, somewhere between Adam and Cas in age, but he has a certain air about him that makes him seem older.  “We do, Alpha Winchester.  My birth pack has turned into a place that’s no longer safe.  We’d like to ask to join your pack.”  His eyes fall on Cas.  “If you don’t accept all of us, we understand.  But please, at least allow the pup to stay.”

            “If I accept you into this pack, you’ll be under my rule.  If I discover you’ve lied about anything, or are keeping secrets, there will be trouble.”  Dean warns.  No one in the group even blinks.  They all are wearing the same expressions, a mixture of determination and pure exhaustion.  

            “We understand, and we promise that we would never do anything to harm your pack.”

            It’s all a formality, of course - Sam asked much more direct questions earlier - but Dean senses that the younger man is telling the truth.  

            “In that case, I welcome you to the Winchester Pack.”  Two of the refugees start crying, their bodies sagging in relief.  “I’d like to have you all looked over by the healer.  My brother tells me you’ve been travelling for a while.  We’ll get you some food once you are all there, if that’s okay.”

            The young man nods.  “Thank you, Alpha.”  He says.  

            “Dean.”  Dean says with a friendly smile.  “And this is my mate, Castiel.  There’s not much room for formality here.”

            The group looks taken aback, but Dean isn’t surprised.  After a moment, the young man nods.  “Then thank you, Dean.  Thank you, Castiel.  I’m Kevin.”  He touches the arm of an older woman who shares Kevin’s features and dark hair.  “This is my mother, Linda.  Meg and Charlie are both good friends of mine.”  He says, pointing to each in turn.  Dean looks over the group carefully.  Charlie’s an omega, and the other three are betas.  He’s not sure about the pup, who still hasn’t changed from its wolf form.  “The pup is an orphan.  She won’t shift back into human form.”

            Dean grimaces.  That’s never a good sign, especially with a pup.  Pups aren’t really able to control their shifts for the first few years, and for one as young as this one to have stayed in her wolf form so long makes him worried.  “Does she have a name?”

            Kevin shakes his head.  “No.”  He says.  “Not that we know of.  Charlie found her like this, abandoned in the street shortly before we left.”

            Dean is suddenly hit by a feeling of overwhelming sadness coming from his mate, and he turns to look down at Cas.  “Baby, is everything okay?”

            “May I?”  Cas asks Charlie, the one holding the pup.  She nods and carefully transfers the tiny body to Cas’s arms.  Dean watches as his mate gently cradles the pup against his chest, letting the pup’s head rest right above his heart.  He turns to Dean.  “We need to go to the healer, please.”

            Cas doesn’t say anything else, not even once they’ve made it down to the infirmary and Dean’s made sure each of his new pack members has been given a bed, a change of clothes, and food.  They aren’t in one of the little, private rooms that Gabriel stayed in.  They’re in a larger room with multiple beds, because Dean had figured the four adults would rather stay together and be able to see each other.  

            Dean doesn’t like being able to scent his mate’s sadness and concern and not be able to do anything about it.  He pulls Cas aside and kisses him, careful of the pup still in Cas’s arms.  “Cas, she’ll be okay.  I’ve got good healers.”

            “It’s not that, exactly.”  Cas replies.  He looks down at the pup and then back up at Dean.  It breaks Dean’s heart to see Cas look so sad.  He wraps his arms around his mate, holding him so the pup is between the two of them.  

            “What is it?”  Dean asks.

            “Do you know why pups this young stay shifted?”  Cas asks.

            “Not really.  I know that it means something bad, but I’ve never seen anything like it myself.”  Dean admits.  

            Cas smiles sadly, sorrow evident in his eyes.  “This pup is either scared out of her mind, or she was born to a mother in wolf form.”

            “That’s exactly right.”  The healer says, appearing next to Dean.  “And my guess would be the latter.”

            It’s uncommon for mothers to give birth in their wolf form, but not unheard of.  Dean doesn’t understand why that’s cause for concern, and he says as much.

            “It wouldn’t be, normally.”  The healer says.  “But a pup so young doesn’t know how to shift, and can’t be taught.  They’ll only shift back if they feel safe, as a instinctive response to their environment.  If they never feel safe, they’ll stay in wolf form for months or years, and they’ll be feral by the time they’re old enough to shift.”

            Dean processes the new information.  “So what can we do?”

            “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”  The healer says.  “Normally, having its mother and father nearby is enough for a pup to feel safe enough to shift.  This little one is traumatized, so it’s going to be a longer process than that to make her feel safe.  She’s taken a liking to Castiel, though.  My recommendation is that you two take her in, or find another mated pair who will care for her.  She needs to feel like she has parents who will protect her.”

            “I’ll do it.”  Cas says before the healer even finishes speaking.  He pauses, his face flushing as he looks up at Dean.  “I mean, if you’re okay with it.”

            Dean knows it’s a serious matter, but he can’t help loving how his mate looks cradling a pup.  His instincts are overriding any practical thoughts.  Besides, there’s no way he could tell Cas he won’t care for the pup.  It goes against everything he stands for.  

            “Of course.”  Dean says.  “What do we need to do?”

            “Nurture her like she’s your own pup.”  The healer answers.  “Have her either sleep in your bed or in a nest nearby.  She’ll need to be fed by bottle.  One of you should always be with her.  Hopefully, within a week she’ll shift into human form.”

            “How old do you think she is?”  
            “Not more than a couple of months.”  The healer replies.  “But it’s hard to tell, given the journey she’s been on to get here.”

            Dean nods.  After making sure that the other new members of his pack are settled and being taken care of, he returns to Cas.  “Hey, angel.  How about we get this little one settled?”

            Cas smiles at him, the bitter scent of sadness and worry starting to lift off of him.  “I saw this before, in my old pack.”  He tells Dean as they walk through the halls of the castle.  “It was awful.  The pups never survived.”

            “This one will.”  Dean promises, surprising himself at how protective he sounds.  “She’s made it this far, Cas, and now you’ve got her.”

            “We’ve got her.”  Cas corrects him.  The little pup lets out a soft whine and pushes her nose closer to Cas’s neck.  

            “We do.”  Dean agrees.

            Ellen had already sent up bottles of milk by the time they reach their room.  Dean pulls back the blankets on the bed and helps Cas settle back against the pillows before handing him one of the bottles.  The little pup latches on, though she’s barely able to drink a few drops at a time.

            Dean is in love.  There’s no way he’ll ever be able to let go of this pup.  She’s tiny and beautiful and helpless, and all he wants is to keep her safe.  

            “Dean?  Dean?”  Cas’s voice finally breaks through Dean’s thoughts.  Dean turns his attention back to Cas, whose expression suggests he feels much the same way.  “She needs a name.”

            “She does.”  Dean agrees.  “What would you like to name her?”

            Cas looks down at the pup for a minute, his expression thoughtful.  “I have a question, first.  Are we keeping her?  For good, I mean?”

            Dean knows he should probably consider his answer longer, but his instincts are in control right now.  “As soon as she shifts, I’ll announce that we’ve adopted her as our own, if that’s what you’d like.”  It’s not uncommon for orphaned pups to be adopted by other mated pairs.  Although Dean and Cas have not known each other for more than a couple of months, Dean knows that this is the man he wants to have a family with.  So what if they start that family a little earlier than planned?

            “I would like that.”  Cas says.  “You saved me, and together we saved our pup.”

            His words nearly bring Dean to tears.  Trying not to cry, he asks, “So what are we naming her?”

            Cas hesitates.  “I was thinking Mary.”  He says softly.  “Only if it’s okay with you.  Your mother sounds tough, and I think this little pup needs a guardian angel looking out for her.”

            Dean is crying now, tears rolling down his cheeks.  He cups Cas’s chin and pulls him closer for a kiss.  “That’s beautiful, Cas.  I’m honored.  Thank you.”

            Cas’s response is lost as the little wolf - his daughter Mary, Dean thinks in wonder - gives a little cough and spits up half of the milk she just drank.  She lets out a pitiful whine.

            It’s not how Dean thought the day would end, but he’s already in love with this pup.  He gets a cloth to clean up Cas and Mary, and then they carefully wrap her in blankets to keep her warm through the night.  Dean places her between him and Cas, so she’s surrounded by their love and protection.  He presses a kiss to the top of her head, right between her two tiny ears.  

            “Good night, my little one.”  He says.  He kisses Cas next.  “Good night, Cas.  I love you.”

            “I love you too.”  Cas replies.  

            Dean drifts off to sleep to the sound of Cas singing a lullaby and the soft huffs of Mary’s breathing next to him.  He’s never felt so complete.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I have no clue where this chapter came from. It was not in my plans to have them adopt a baby so early, but they have! I hope you like the chapter, and be prepared for the next couple of chapters to be filled with fluff!


	20. Chapter 20

Morning comes too soon, and with it the soft little cries of a hungry wolf pup.  Dean blearily opens his eyes to find that Cas has already gathered Mary in his arms.  Dean kisses them both good morning before climbing out of bed to get Mary a bottle of milk.  

“She’s so tiny.”  Cas says, his voice still rough with sleep.  “Have you seen her coat?  There’s barely any fur.”

“I know.”  Dean says.  He tucks a blanket around Mary.  He knows that she’s lucky to have survived the journey from Raphael’s pack to his.  He makes a note to thank the new pack members for keeping her warm and safe, knowing very well that they probably made sacrifices themselves to keep an orphaned pup alive.

Cas looks up at Dean, his eyes filled with wonder.  “We have a daughter.”  He says.  

“We do.”  Dean agrees.  The scent of baked bread and a crackling fire drifts off his mate, a mixture of happiness and a new scent that Dean can only describe as maternal.  It reminds him of what his mom used to smell like.  He climbs back into bed and scents Cas, breathing in that perfect smell.  He makes a silent promise to his mate and to his pup that he will always keep them safe.

Dean takes Mary when Cas finishes feeding her.  It’s the first time he’s actually gotten to hold her.  She’s too light, her body too thin, but she’s still perfect.  Dean leans back against the pillows and places the bundled-up pup on his chest.  He guides her to his neck so she can scent him.  She needs to recognize him and Cas as a mated pair and, eventually, as her parents, so it’s important she learns his scent.  Mary huffs out a few breaths against his skin before tucking herself into a tiny ball.  She’s asleep in a matter of minutes.

“I could just watch her all day.”  Cas says.  

“Me too.”  Dean says, unable to tear his eyes away from Mary.  “She really feels like ours, you know?”

“She was meant to be.”  Cas agrees.  “I love her just as much as I would a pup I carried.”

There’s really nothing Dean can say to that.  Instead he pulls Cas closer to him and holds his tiny family together, breathing in their mix of scents.  They stay that way until Mary wakes up again, hungry for another feeding.  Once she’s had her bottle, Dean suggests they check in on the new pack members in the infirmary.

Cas hesitates.  “My instincts are a bit haywire right now.”  He admits, hanging his head, his voice laced with guilt.  “I don’t think I can take Mary out of our nest.”

Dean hates when Cas starts feeling guilty about things that aren’t his fault.  His mate spent his life being told his instincts were wrong and unimportant, and sometimes even he couldn’t get Cas to believe that it was okay to follow them.

“That’s fine.”  Dean says, kissing his mate.  “I get it, don’t worry.  I have to go, but I won’t be long, okay?”

Cas nods.  He holds Mary close to his chest and asks, “Can you have both Ash and Benny stay here?  Outside, but I’d like them both to guard Mary.”

“Of course.”

Dean doesn’t want to leave Cas, not when he’s feeling so vulnerable, but he has a duty as Pack Alpha.  He stops to give instructions to Benny and Ash before heading down to the infirmary.  He makes it halfway down the hallway, still in view of his two friends and guards, when his instincts make him stop dead in his tracks.  What the hell is he thinking?  There’s no way he’s leaving his mate and his pup alone, especially not so soon after Mary arrived.  He needs to be there too.

Ash looks a little confused when Dean turns around, but Benny just laughs.  “Wondered when you’d come to your senses.”  He drawls.  Dean spares a moment to glare at him before pushing open the door.

“That was fast.”  Cas says when he sees Dean.

“I couldn’t leave you and Mary.”  Dean readily admits.  He crosses the room quickly, suddenly desperate to curl up around his mate and pup.

Mary opens her eyes and blinks up at him before giving a little snort and falling back asleep.  Cas watches her with a fond smile on his face, one Dean is sure he has as well.  “Good thing Sam can handle anything that comes up.”

“That’s true.”  Dean admits.

“And I have an idea.”  Cas adds.  “I think we should both shift.  Our scents will be stronger, so Mary will adjust to them faster.”

Dean agrees.  He’s willing to try anything to help his pup recover.  He holds Mary while Cas shifts, then places her against the sleek black wolf before shifting himself.  Mary, woken by the movements and change in scents, opens her eyes and for the first time seems alert to what’s going on around her.  She stretches, her tiny paws going in all directions.  Her little nose scrunches up as she takes in the new scents of her parents.  It’s possibly the cutest thing Dean has ever seen, although he knows he might be biased.  

Mary spends the next few minutes scenting them before she curls back up, clearly exhausted from the effort.  Cas starts licking her, grooming the small tufts of fur she has left.  Mary wiggles a little under the attention.  Dean watches for a minute before dragging a blanket over with his teeth.  He paws at it until it’s arranged exactly how he wants, partly draped over Cas and Mary.  

Cas has finished grooming Mary and now has his fluffy tail wrapped around the little pup.  Dean curls up on the other side of Mary, laying so his daughter is completely safe and surrounded.  His instincts settled, the alpha in him happy that he’s protecting his mate and pup.

Sam arrives just before lunch, looking ready to launch into a lecture about responsibilities.  Dean’s tempted to stay in wolf form, knowing just how much that would annoy his brother, but he knows he can’t.  He shifts, grabbing his pants from the floor and tugging them on before facing Sam.

“I couldn’t leave them.”  Dean says to his brother.  “I feel like I need to be here to protect Cas and Mary.”

“Mary?”  Sam asks.  His voice chokes up.  “You named her after Mom?”

Dean ruffles Sam’s hair in a gesture of support.  “Cas did.  Said our pup would need a guardian angel looking out for her.”

“That’s - that’s perfect, Dean.  Mom would be so happy.”

Dean nods in agreement.  For a few long minutes, they sit in silence, memories of their mother filling their heads.  Dean misses her like crazy, and he knows Sammy does too.  Their mom had been one of those people who could make anything better.  She was strong and brave and kind.  Not for the first time, Dean wishes she was around to meet Cas.

“Benny told me you couldn’t leave Cas.”  Sam said, breaking the silence.  “I went down to the infirmary to check on the new pack members.  They’re looking better, but it’s going to be a few days before they’re strong enough to leave the infirmary.”

“I figured as much.”  Dean says.  “What else?”  Sam tends not to bother him with minor details, so Dean figures something else has to be happening.  His thoughts go towards Adam, and he wonders how the young beta is.

Sam sighs.  “I was talking with Kevin for a while.  He’s a smart kid.  Anyways, he told me everything he could about this Raphael character.  Gossip, mostly, because Kevin wasn’t exactly a high ranking member of the pack.  But honestly, if even half of the gossip he told me is true, we’ve got a real problem on our hands.  Raphael is power hungry.”

Now it’s Dean’s turn to sigh.  He glances over at Cas, wanting to go reassure his mate that things will be okay, before turning his attention back towards his brother.  “Do you think we have until spring?”

“I’m not sure anymore.”  Sam says.  “He’d be stupid to try anything over the winter, but he apparently doesn’t have a reputation of being the smartest guy in the room.  I don’t think he’d ever make it this far into our territory, but some of the farther out villages may be in danger.”

“Tell Bobby everything, and tell him I want some of our soldiers to spend the winter in the three villages closest to the border.  Make sure it’s done discreetly.  I don’t want Raphael getting wind of this and thinking we’re going to attack him.  And if the soldiers think the situation is bad, I want the villages evacuated and those pack members brought here.”

“Got it.”  Sam says.  He stands, but doesn’t make a move towards the door.  “You’ll let me know when I can properly meet Mary, right?”

“Of course, Sammy.  You’ll be the first one besides Cas and I to see her, okay?”  Dean says.  Sam has a soft heart and a not so hidden wish to become a father.  It hasn’t happened yet, but Dean figures it will soon enough, what with Sam now being mated to two omegas.

“Thanks, Dean.  I hope she shifts soon.”  Sam says, now heading for the door.  “I’ll talk to you later.”

The door shuts, leaving Dean with new worries swirling around in his mind.  He’s annoyed, more than anything else.  He has allies who will come to his aid should Raphael try anything, but Dean doesn’t want it to come to that.  He decides to wait until news comes officially of Raphael’s ascension to Pack Alpha, at which point he can offer an alliance with the man as a way to keep tensions low.

Not that he wants an alliance with the alpha.  He doesn’t want an alliance with anyone related to the Novak Alpha, not with how Cas was treated.  But his pack’s safety comes first.

Dean turns back to the bed.  Cas has shifted.  A blanket is now wrapped around his shoulders.  His face is etched with worry, though Dean can tell Cas is making an effort not to let his scent betray too much of his fear as to not disturb Mary.  

“We’ll get through this, Cas.”  Dean promises his mate, striding over to the bed so he can wrap Cas in a hug.  “My soldiers are good, and Sam, Bobby, and I have made our way through messes like this before.  Everything is going to work out.”

Cas nods.  “I know.”  He says softly.  “I just don’t want anyone getting hurt.”

Dean sighs.  Fights between packs break out sometimes.  It’s just part of life.  Dean’s pleased that most of the packs surrounding his lands are allies or even friends of his.  He wouldn’t be so worried about Raphael if it wasn’t for the fact that the alpha is connected to the Pack Alpha who hurt Cas so badly. 

“You’ve got a good heart, Cas.”  Dean says quietly.  “And I’m going to do my best to make sure no one gets hurt, okay?”

    Cas nods in understanding.  He scoops Mary up in his arms and presses a kiss to her furry little head.  “Your alpha daddy will take care of us.”  He whispers to the tiny pup.  Dean has to swallow a lump in his throat, silently promising that he won’t ever let his mate or his pup down. 

    Dean leaves just long enough to send for food and tell Benny to have Bobby and Rufus told he won’t be leaving the room until Mary has shifted or until Cas feels secure enough to take her out of their nest.  He also asks for the healer to be sent up when she’s free.  He wants to make sure that they’re doing the right thing for Mary.

    The food arrives first, and Mary’s nose starts moving as she smells the freshly cooked meat.  Within moments she’s awake and making as much noise as she can, given how weak she still is.  Dean feeds her this time, holding her in the crook of his arm and giving her the bottle.  Her little tail, which is completely hairless, wiggles a bit against his arm.  She keeps blinking up at him with big, curious eyes.  Dean can’t wait to see what she looks like when she shifts.  He wonders if the brown fur will turn into brown hair, or if she will be one of those babies who is bald for months.  He wants to feel her grasp his finger with her tiny ones.  Not that she isn’t absolutely perfect as a wolf, but he’ll be relieved once she shifts.

The healer arrives next.  Although there are three healers in the Winchester Castle, this particular healer is Dean’s favorite.  Missouri has taken care of him since he was a pup.  She walks into the room and gestures for Dean to set Mary down on the bed.

“Has she been eating?”  Missouri asks, her hands gently running over Mary’s body.  

“Pretty well.  She spit up pretty much everything she ate last night, but she’s able to hold most of what she eats down now.”  Cas answers.  His eyes never leave Mary.  “But she’s barely got any fur, and I’m worried about her keeping warm.”

Missouri patted Cas’s hand.  “She made it this far, right?  She’ll be fine now that you’ve got her all wrapped up and cozy warm.”

Dean smiles as a hint of pride enters Cas’s scent.  He puts an arm around Cas’s waist, pulling his mate against his body and kissing the back of his neck.  Cas takes his eyes off of Mary long enough to turn and smile at Dean.

“She’s looking okay, for what she’s been through.”  Missouri says, drawing Dean’s attention back to the pup.  “There’s nothing broken, and she’s more alert than I thought she’d be at this point.  It’s just going to take a bit more time, that’s all.  Keep doing everything you’ve done over the past day, and I don’t see any reason why she wouldn’t be okay.”

Dean feels Cas relax against him, some of the tension leaving his body.  “Thank you.”  Dean says for both of them as Cas scoops Mary back into his arms and cuddles her close.

Missouri pats Dean’s arm on her way out.  “It’ll be fine, Dean Winchester.  She’s a fighter, just like her daddies.”


	21. Chapter 21

            The day Mary shifts, she makes sure the entire castle hears her displeasure.  Castiel and Dean are awoken by her angry cries at an early hour, the only light coming from the fireplace.  Castiel scoops her into his arms immediately, trying to soothe her.  She isn’t interested in calm words or gentle touches.  Her whole body is shaking.  She waves her tiny fists in the air and screams until she’s blue in the face.  

            It’s not exactly the moment Castiel was picturing.  Dean has gotten up and grabbed a bottle for Mary, but she is not interested in that either.  

            “Maybe she’s cold?”  Dean asks.  “I mean, she doesn’t have fur keeping her warm anymore.”

            “Maybe.”  Castiel tries to wrap a blanket around Mary.  She struggles against him, her screams turning louder and more desperate.  Dean finally has to take the blanket from him and wrap Mary in it while Castiel does his best to hold her still.  It does nothing to calm Mary.  If anything, she gets more upset.  Castiel feels helpless.  “I don’t know what to do.”  He says, trying to keep from crying himself.  He has to be strong for his daughter, even if right now he’s feeling worthless as an omega and as a parent.

            Castiel wants to tell Dean to get Missouri or one of the other healers, someone who knows what they’re doing.  He’s terrified of hurting Mary.  His scent must betray his emotions, because Dean wraps him in a quick hug.  “It’s okay, Cas.  Babies cry, right?  It’s what they do.  We’ll figure it out.”

            Dean sounds confident, something Castiel is grateful for.  He’s taken care of babies before, other omegas in his pack.  But every pup born shifted turned feral and either died or was killed by the pack.  He can barely breathe, he’s so worried about Mary.

            Castiel knows that Dean shares his worries - he can smell it in his mate’s scent - but outwardly at least Dean projects calm.  He gently takes Mary from Castiel and carries her over to the fireplace.  He lays her down on the soft rug and starts to gently massage her tiny limbs.  Castiel watches in amazement as Mary’s screams soften to cries, then little whimpers, until finally she is silent.  

            “There we go.”  Dean coos in a voice Castiel didn’t know his mate possessed.  “That’s better, right beautiful?”

            “How did you know that would calm her?”  Castiel asks.  He knows his scent has gone from worried to jealous, but he can’t help it.  He’s the omega.  He’s the one who’s supposed to know how to care for pups.  Instinct and all of that.

            Dean has to scent the jealousy, but he doesn’t comment on it.  He just grabs onto Castiel’s hand and pulls him down to the floor to join him and Mary.  “My muscles get sore if I stay shifted for a long time.  I thought maybe she was hurting too, since she’s never been in human form before.”

            It makes perfect sense, and Castiel realizes his jealousy was unwarranted.  Still, he feels a bit upset that he couldn’t help Mary.  He feels like an awful omega.  His thoughts grow ugly as they turn back to his old pack and the cruel words constantly thrown at him.  The Novak Alpha was always saying how Castiel was a bad omega, how he didn’t know any of the things that a good omega should know.  Castiel thinks of how he was almost left behind when his old pack traveled here to the Winchester lands.  His throat gets tight, and it’s hard to breath.  

            Strong arms wrap around Castiel, bringing him back to the present.  Dean has drawn him against his chest and is holding him tight.  “I’ve got you, Cas.  It’s okay.”  Dean is saying.  

            “I’m not a good enough omega to take care of Mary.”  Castiel cries into Dean’s shoulder.  

            “That’s absolutely ridiculous.”  Dean says firmly.  “Cas, look at me.  I guessed at why Mary was upset, and I happened to guess right.  That’s all.  You have been a wonderful parent to Mary, okay?  You came up with the idea for us to shift, remember?  And that was the first time she really reacted to anything.  You did that.”  Dean kisses Castiel’s forehead.  “You are my perfect, wonderful, strong omega.  Mary is lucky to have you.”

            Mary waves a tiny fist in the air like she’s agreeing with Dean, and Castiel laughs through his tears.  He hates how insecure he feels sometimes.  All he wants is to be a good father to Mary and a good mate to Dean, and there are moments where he feels like he is neither.  Luckily, he has Dean to tell him when he’s being ridiculous.  Well, not ridiculous, Castiel thinks.  Uncertain of himself.  That’s a better way to put it.

            “I’m lucky to have you.”  Castiel says.  He wipes his tears away and focuses on Mary.  Her little face is all scrunched up at the bitter scent of Castiel’s fear and self-doubt.  He reaches out and bops her lightly on the nose.  She waves her hands and feet in the air in response.

            “She’s beautiful.”  Castiel says.  His daughter has wisps of light brown hair.  Her eyes are grey.  Everything about her is tiny and perfect, right down to her little fingernails.  She’s still too thin, her skin clinging to her ribs, but Castiel trusts that she will gain weight and grow strong.

            “She is.”  Dean presses a kiss to Mary’s tummy and her face crinkles into a smile.  “And maybe now she’ll eat her breakfast.”

            Dean gives Castiel the bottle.  It’s much easier feeding Mary in this form, Castiel discovers.  He cradles Mary, marvelling at how her body fits so perfectly into his arms.  Dean gets up for a few minutes.  He returns with blankets and pillows, arranging them on the rug so that they have a soft little nest right in front of the fireplace.  

            Mary finishes the bottle.  For the first time, Castiel gets to burp his daughter.  Once he’s done, he lays Mary on the rug so she can stretch out a bit.  She’s going to need time to adjust to this new form, but now that she’s stopped crying, Castiel feels a little more confident that she’s going to be okay.

            “I’ll ask for a bath to be drawn in a little bit.”  Dean says.  Castiel smiles.  It’s early enough that only the kitchen staff are awake, and Dean would never interrupt them in their task of feeding a whole pack just for his own comfort.  It’s one of the little things about him that makes Castiel love him so much.

            Castiel snuggles into Dean as they both watch Mary.  She can’t do much more than lay there and kick her feet, but she seems pretty content to do just that.  Castiel is just as happy to watch her.  Time passes as they sit there, enjoying the knowledge that their daughter has made it past the biggest hurdle and will only grow stronger from here.  Castiel’s worries and doubts slowly fade away as he watches Mary.  Now that her initial bout of screaming has ended, she seems happier in this form.  

            Once they’ve bathed and had breakfast, Dean and Castiel bundled Mary up and head for Sam’s room.  Gabriel opens the door and barely keeps from yelling out in excitement.

            “She shifted!”  He gasps.  “Hello, sweetie pie.  I’m your awesome uncle Gabe.”

            “Mary shifted?”  Sam’s voice calls out as Dean rolls his eyes at Gabriel.  He appears moments later, and his expression melts into pure adoration as he looks at his niece.  

            “Want to hold her?”  Castiel asks.  He’s nervous about letting anyone else hold his daughter, but he trusts Sam and he knows how badly Sam wants to be a parent.  He’s seen Sam with pups before, and Castiel knows Sam won’t let anything happen to Mary.

            Sam nods eagerly.  Castiel carefully places Mary into his outstretched arms.  Sam immediately starts cooing and talking nonsense to her, and Castiel stares up at the big alpha in surprise.  He hasn’t seen this side of Sam before.

            Jess sees his expression and laughs.  She pulls Castiel into the room.  “He’s like that with babies.”  She explains.  She hugs Castiel tightly.  “I’m so glad Mary shifted.  She’s beautiful.”

            “Thanks.”  Castiel says, although he’s not sure if he can really take credit for Mary’s looks.  He joins Gabriel and Jess by the fireplace, letting Dean and Sam have some time together.  He knows what naming their daughter Mary meant to the brothers.  

            “You must be so happy.”  Jess says over Sam’s baby talk.  “I mean, that was the big hurdle, right?”

            “Yeah.”  Castiel confirms.  “She’s still too skinny, but at least she’s in human form.  It’s a lot easier to feed her now.”

            “I would imagine.”  Jess says.  Her face lights up.  “Oh!  I have things for you.”

            “Things?”  Castiel repeated.

            “Yeah, Cassie, things.”  Gabriel says.  “You know, things.  Stuff.  Bits and bobs.”  He probably would have continued on in the same vein if Jess hadn’t shoved him.

            “Baby things.”  Jess clarifies, but that doesn’t actually mean anything to Castiel.  When the omega pups were dumped in the omega compound in his old pack, the older omegas used whatever they had - which was never much - to care for them.  But Jess has leapt up and, with Gabriel’s help, brings over a large wooden box filled to the brim.  

            “What is all of this?”

            “Gabe and I have been putting together all the things you’ll need for Mary.  Clothes and toys, that kind of stuff.  A lot of it was from when Sam and Dean were little pups, but since Mary’s a girl, I had Ellen and Jo help me get some clothes that will suit her a bit better.”  Jess bites her lip.  “I hope we’re not overstepping.”

            “No, not at all.”  Castiel says.  He still can’t believe his eyes.  All this, just for one pup.  It’s a totally foreign concept to him.  “Thank you.”

            Gabriel pats him on the back.  “If it makes you feel any better, I was in shock too.  Who knew pups needed all this?”  

            Castiel is glad to have Gabriel there.  It helps him feel less out of place at moments like this.  He takes a moment to refocus on what Jess and Gabriel had put together for Mary.  

            “Go on, look through it.”  Jess says.  

            Castiel kneels on the floor and starts going through the box.  There’s a layer of warm winter clothing made out of heavy wools and soft furs.  Below the clothes are toys, each one looking a bit battered but well loved.  There are wooden blocks and a beautifully carved rattle.  There’s even a sling that Castiel can wear so he can have his hands free and still be carrying his daughter.  It’s all perfect, and Castiel realizes he’s got tears in his eyes.

            “Thank you.”  He says again, although the words don’t seem like enough to express his gratitude.  He never imagined he would be in a place with a loving mate and a beautiful daughter and be able to give his daughter any of this.  He hugs Jess, pulling Gabriel into the hug when his omega brother complains that he helped too.  

            Castiel pulls one of the outfits out of the box, eager to dress his daughter in something other than a blanket.  Sam must notice, because he brings Mary over and hands her to Castiel.  Mary voices her displeasure in being unwrapped from the blanket, but she settles as Castiel dresses her in a soft little outfit.  It’s sewn together at the bottom, so her feet stay warm, but her hands are free and she waves them around as Castiel buttons everything up.  The sleeves have long cuffs made from soft fur, to keep her little hands cozy.  Once she’s snug in her new clothes, he hands her to Gabriel.

            “You’re just as beautiful as your uncle Gabe.”  Gabriel says.  Jess and Castiel both roll their eyes.  Although Castiel will never admit it, he secretly enjoys Gabriel’s sass and attitude.  No matter what hell they went through in their old pack, Gabriel always had a joke to cheer Castiel up.  

            They spend over an hour with Sam, Jess, and Gabe before heading out in search of the other important pack members they want to have meet Mary.  Jo squeals with delight when she sees Mary, and Ellen looks like a proud grandmother when she holds their daughter.  Even gruff Bobby seems to melt when he meets Mary.

            Although Castiel is still anxious about anyone other than him and Dean holding Mary, he loves seeing the expressions of adoration on each pack member’s face as they meet Mary.  Bobby blinks back what suspiciously looks like a tear when they tell him Mary’s name.

            “I’m proud of you both.”  He says, patting Dean on the back.  

            Later, when Mary’s napping in the cradle Sam sent to their room, Castiel curls up against Dean and laces their fingers together.  Neither of them speak.  A sense of security and belonging has settled over them, and Castiel is perfectly content to just breathe in Dean’s familiar scent and the new, flowery scent of their daughter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay more baby fluff! More plot is coming up soon, don't worry. Hope you like this chapter!


	22. Chapter 22

            “That pack is trouble.  I can sense it.”  Bobby says, looking up from the reports he’s been studying.  “But I don’t see how they could try anything before spring, and it’s not even the Winter Moon yet.”

            Dean sighs, rubbing his tired eyes.  “Raphael overthrew the Pack Alpha without having the majority of the pack’s support.  I don’t think he’s thinking logically.  He’s power hungry.”

            Bobby doesn’t answer.  He shuffles through the papers again, clearly thinking things through before speaking.  “Are you sure you’re interpreting things right?”  He asks.

            “What do you mean?”

            “If Castiel wasn’t in the picture, would you be this concerned about Raphael?”

            It might be a valid question, but it has Dean seeing red.  “Don’t you dare drag Castiel into this.  This has nothing to do with him.”  He snaps in his full alpha voice.  

            “Sit your ass down.”  Bobby says sharply.  “You know as well as I do that it does have something to do with Castiel.”

            Dean doesn’t sit down.  Instead, he turns and starts pacing the short distance between the door and the far wall.  They’ve been reading reports and discussing what to do about Raphael for the past two hours and have gotten nowhere.

            “Dean, Bobby’s right.  We all knew that there would be consequences to angering the Novak Alpha.  Now we have to deal with them.”  Sam says.  “Answer the question.”

            “No, okay?”  Dean says.  “No, I wouldn’t be this concerned.  I didn’t know shit about the Novak pack before I met Cas.  But I can’t ignore what I know now.  Raphael may be nothing, but can we really take that chance?”

            Bobby and Sam exchange a look.  “What else do you want to do?”  Bobby asks.  

            And that’s the real problem, right there.  Dean doesn’t know what he wants to do.  There have been no direct threats of violence, no hints that Raphael wants a war.  It’s possible he is a Novak in name but not in how he acts.  It’s possible the Novak pack Alpha has no alliance with Raphael.  But it’s also possible that this is all part of something bigger, something much more dangerous.  Sam’s right.  They had known there would be consequences, and Dean’s gut instinct is telling him that they will be facing the consequences soon.

            “We’ve sent soldiers to the villages near the border.”  Sam reminds Dean.  “We have our scouts getting more information.  We’ve sent messages to our allies.  There isn’t anything else to do, unless you want to start a war right now.”

            “I don’t.”  Dean says.  There’s no way he’s putting his pack in unnecessary danger.  “I’m sorry, I’m worried.  Raphael is just this big unknown, and I’ve got a family to think about protecting now.”

            “You’ve got a pack, too, and the best thing to do is to wait this out.”  Bobby says.  “Agreed?”

            “I’m with Bobby.”  Sam says.

            “Fine.”  Dean says.  “We wait for more information.”  Dean feels like they’ve accomplished nothing, but there really is nothing else they can do.  

            Sam follows Dean as they head upstairs.  “Cas will be safe, Dean.”  He says.  “We’ve dealt with other packs like this before, and we’ll have to deal with them again.”

            Dean just nods.  He knows that, and logically he can accept everything his brother is saying.  Emotionally, though, all he can think about is Cas and their daughter and wanting to make sure that nothing bad ever happens to them.

            Mary is just waking up from a nap when Dean returns to the rooms he shares with Cas.  It’s just before dinner time, but Dean needs some time with his mate and daughter before joining the rest of the pack.  

            “Hey.”  Cas says after Dean kisses him hello.  “You okay?”

            “Yeah, just worried.”  Dean admits.  He’s getting better at telling Cas things, even when it isn’t good news.  “I don’t like that we don’t know anything about Raphael and his connections to your old pack.  It scares me, sometimes.”

            Cas pulls Dean closer, and Dean takes the opportunity to scent Cas.  His familiar and soothing scent calms Dean, and he takes several deep breaths of the summer day scent before sitting back.

            “How’s my favorite girl doing?”  Dean asks, lifting Mary from her cradle.  Mary giggles and reaches out to grab onto Dean’s shirt.  She’s been growing stronger in the past few days, and each day she seems to learn how to do something new.  

            “Adam came by to meet her.”  Cas reports.  Although Dean and Adam are still on rocky ground with each other, his half-brother has proven to be a good friend to Cas.  Dean thinks it may have something to do with the fact that neither are from this pack originally.  

            “How’d that go?”

            “Good.”  Cas says.  “And we spent some time with Gabe, too.  He says Sam has gone completely baby crazy.”

            Dean smiles.  He’s not surprised.  “I’m waiting for them to tell us that a baby’s on the way.”  He agrees.  “It’s going to happen soon.”

            Cas laughs.  “Probably.”

            Dean settles Mary into the crook of his arm and gives her a finger to clasp in her tiny little fist.  “After dinner, I was thinking about heading down to the infirmary to check on the other new pack members.  I haven’t really done that yet, and I should.  Do you want to come with me?”

            Cas hesitates for a moment.  “You go ahead.”  He says finally.  He’s been oddly reluctant to meet the new pack members, especially given how insistent he was that they be welcomed into the pack.  Dean thinks it has something to do with Mary.  He’s not going to mention anything, though.  Cas struggles enough with his instincts that Dean doesn’t think any good will come out of him bringing it up.  Instead, they play with Mary until dinner.

            It’s only the second time that Mary has been with the rest of the pack during dinner, and the noise immediately sets off her tears.  As soon as Gabriel sees them, he scoops Mary from Cas’s arms.

            “You missed your uncle, didn’t you?”  He says to her, tickling her as he talks.  Before long, Mary is quiet and gazing up at him with nothing short of adoration in her eyes.  Dean sighs.  His baby is already enamored with Gabriel, and Dean doesn’t doubt that in years to come, he’ll hear protests of, “But Uncle Gabriel said we could!”  He certainly used that line plenty of times himself, only placing the blame on Bobby.

            There’s a joy that having a baby brings to the entire pack, especially when that baby is the Pack Alpha’s.  They had announced their adoption of Mary a just a few days earlier, and the pack had celebrated like they would have if she was Dean’s own flesh and blood.  The pack seems happier, eager to meet Mary and pass on their well-wishes.  

            Mary, though, is more interested in her bottle of milk than anything else.  Sam feeds her, and Dean is filled with the sort of glee only a brother can get when Mary spits up a good portion of the bottle all over Sam.  Gabriel claims that as proof that he’s the favorite uncle, not Sam.  

            Dean and Cas leave dinner a little early.  Cas is still insistent that he doesn’t want to go to the infirmary with Dean.  It’s a conversation they’re going to have to have, but Dean’s reluctant to do so.  Cas has been struggling a lot with his instincts regarding Mary, and Dean’s afraid he’s going to say something to make Cas doubt himself even more.  So, for now, he stays quiet.

Mary, her hunger sated, is half asleep in Cas’s arms and is making soft little purring noises that are quite possibly the cutest things Dean has ever heard.  Although she’s recovered quickly from her time in wolf form, gaining weight at a steady pace, she still has little habits from then.  Dean kisses her and then Cas.

            “I’ll see you in a little bit.”  Dean says.  “I love you.”

            “I love you too.”  Cas says, cuddling Mary closer.  

            Dean feels lonely as he walks towards the infirmary by himself.  It hasn’t even been a full two months since Cas became a part of his life, but now he hates being apart from his mate.  The feeling is even stronger now that Mary is a part of their lives.  

            The four new pack members are just finishing their own dinners when Dean arrives.  He greets each of them, though the real reason he’s here is Kevin.  The young man is looking better now with some more weight on his body, his eyes no longer so sunken into his head.  

            “I wanted to thank you.”  Dean says to Kevin.  “Sam told me how much information you were able to give about your old pack, and we can put that to good use.”

            Kevin smiles.  “I’m glad I could help.”  He says.  “I’m just sorry I couldn’t answer more questions.”

            “Don’t worry about that.”  Dean reassures him.  “You’ve done plenty.”

            “Good.  Um, can I ask about the pup?  Where is she?”

            Dean blinks, surprised that the news hasn’t made it to him.  “Cas and I adopted her.  She shifted a few days ago, and we announced the adoption to the rest of the pack right away.  I’m sorry, I should have sent someone to tell you.  It means the world to us that you four kept Mary alive and safe.”

            “That’s good.”  Kevin says tiredly.  “Once we decided to take her with us, it wasn’t like we could bear to let anything happen to her.”

            Dean smiles.  “Listen, when you’re well enough to get up and move around, I’d like to have you take a look at a few things for me.  Sam said you’re smart, and I could use someone with a fresh perspective.”

            “Okay.”  Kevin agrees, though he seems a little uncertain.  “I can do that.”

            “Good.  Now get some rest.”

            Dean stands and says goodbye to the four.  As he’s leaving, he catches Meg watching him with a small frown.  She’s strange, Meg.  She seems sharp and harsh from the little time Dean has spent around her, though he supposes that could be from living a rough life.

            “I’m glad the pup is safe.”  Meg says.  “That’s - you’re a good Pack Alpha.”  

            “I’m just grateful you four were there to protect her.”  Dean tells her.  Meg looks at him thoughtfully but doesn’t say anything else.

            Dean says a quick goodbye to Missouri before heading upstairs, his thoughts on the short conversation with Meg.  She didn’t really seem much like the type to care about pups, though Dean supposes anyone would care about a pup they protected through such a difficult journey.  

            His thoughts are pushed aside when he enters his and Cas’s bedroom and finds his mate crying.

            “Cas?”  Dean asks, alarmed.  “Baby, what’s wrong?  Are you okay?  Is Mary?”

            Mary is sobbing too.  Dean quickly picks her up out of Cas’s arms to soothe her, but that turns Cas’s cries into a wounded howl that makes every instinct in Dean’s body shout at him to stop hurting his mate.  The problem is, Dean doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong or why Cas was crying in the first place.

            “Don’t let them take my pup.”  Cas finally says.  “Please don’t take my pup away.”

            Dean immediately hands Mary back to Cas before pulling both his mate and his pup onto his lap.  “Shh, baby.  No one is taking Mary away from you.  What made you think that?”

            Cas doesn’t answer.  He turns so Mary is safely between the two mates and leans forward to scent Dean.  His sobs start to quiet until he’s able to speak clearly.  “Got scared.”

            “Shh, you’re safe.”  Dean soothes.  “I’m here, and Mary’s here, and nothing bad will happen to you or to her or to me.  It’s okay.”

            Cas’s sobs finally stop, though his whole body is shaking.  “They aren’t taking her back?”

            “Who?”  Dean asks, thoroughly confused.  

            “Kevin and the others.”  

            “No, no, of course not.  Mary’s ours.  We adopted her.  She’s our daughter.”  Dean says, tripping over the words in his haste to reassure Cas.  He doesn’t quite understand why Cas is this upset, but that doesn’t matter right this moment.  “I thanked them for getting Mary safely to us, and I told them that we adopted her.  They aren’t going to take her back.”

            “I got scared.”  Cas says again, looking down at the tiny pup in his arms.  Now that Cas has stopped crying, Mary has calmed down as well, though she’s still fussy.  “That’s what they used to do, you know.”

            “In your old pack?”

            “Pups would get ripped away from their parents and given to whoever the Alpha liked at that moment.”  Cas says.  “Well, except the omega pups.  Nobody wanted us.  We just got thrown to the side.”

            Dean’s heart is breaking.  He leans forward and kisses Cas, trying to convey the emotion he’s feeling right now.  “Baby, I would never do that.  No one in this pack would do that.  Pups are meant to be with their true parents.  And Mary is ours.  She came to us without parents.  You and I are her parents, and that’s never going to change.”

            “I know that.”  Cas says softly.  “Except all of the sudden I didn’t.  I just felt like if I let go of Mary someone would take her away and I’d never see her again, and I know I didn’t give birth to her but she feels like ours.”

            “That’s because she is.”  Dean says.  “It’s okay now, sweetheart.  Are you feeling better now?”

            Cas nods.  “A bit.”  He says.  “Tired, though.”

            “Well, how about we turn in early?  Dean asks.  “Mary’s going to wake us up in a few hours anyway, asking for a bottle.”

            “That would be nice.”  Cas agrees.  

He passes Mary to Dean so she can be changed and put into her night clothes while Cas goes and splashes some water on his face to help calm down.  Dean is just tucking Mary into her cradle when he senses Cas’s warmth behind him.

            “I’m sorry I get like this.”  Cas says.

            “Don’t apologize.”  Dean says firmly.  He cups Cas’s chin so he can look his mate straight in the eyes.  “What your old pack did left scars on you and your mind.  It’s not your fault.  I’m just glad you’re here with me.  I love you, Cas.”

            Cas echoes the sentiment, stepping closer to Dean so he can be wrapped up in a hug.  Dean obliges, lifting Cas and setting him on the bed so they can properly cuddle.  Cas tucks himself in along Dean’s body, and Dean wraps his arms tightly around his mate.  Dean knows that neither of them will sleep well that night, not with what just happened, but he also knows that Cas feels safer like this.  He’d do anything for his mate.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some hints at what's to come. I honestly have no idea how long this is going to be, but I hope you're enjoying it so far!


	23. Chapter 23

            Castiel wakes up disoriented but well-rested.  Sunlight is streaming through the windows.  He hears the contented little sighs Mary makes after being fed.  Blinking in the bright light, he rolls over to discover his mate sitting up in bed, their daughter cradled in his arms.  

            “Morning, baby.”  Dean says.  His voice doesn’t have the low, gravelly sound to it that it does when he just wakes up, so Castiel knows he’s been awake for a while now.

            “Morning?”  Castiel echoes.  He sits up.  “I slept through the night?  But what about Mary?”

            “Our little princess definitely did not sleep through the night.”  Dean says with a laugh.  “You were out cold.  I think that whatever it was that happened last night wiped you out.  I didn’t want to wake you up.”

            “I’m sorry.”  Castiel says, feeling guilty that Dean had to be up for every bottle feeding over the night.  

            “Don’t be.”  Dean leans over to kiss Castiel.  “You needed the rest.”

            “Well, thank you.”  Castiel says.  He smiles at Mary.  “You’re so very lucky to have a daddy like Dean.”

            Castiel grabs a thick slice of Ellen’s bread from the tray on the table and slathers it with butter before climbing back into bed to snuggle with his family.  

            “I’ve got to go out and make sure the soldiers we’re sending to the far out villages are ready and understand their mission.”  Dean says.  “Do you want to come with me?”

            There’s a howl of wind from outside, and Castiel shudders.  “No, thank you.  Mary and I are going to stay where it’s nice and warm.  Maybe visit Uncle Gabriel, right, sweetie?”

            Mary burps in response, the action startling her nearly to tears.  Laughing, Dean bounces her up and down a few times to soothe her.  They snuggle together for a while longer, until Dean apologizes and says he really needs to get going.  Dean dresses for the cold day, even agreeing to wear the heavy coat that he hates but Castiel loves.  They kiss goodbye, and then Castiel is left with Mary to contemplate what happened the night before.

            If he’s being honest, it’s happened before.  The absolute panic, the fear, the pure terror.  He’s had moments like that back in his old pack, where horrible memories would trick his mind into thinking that the past was happening now.  He shivers and holds Mary closer to his body, breathing in her sweet baby scent and reminding himself that he’s safe with the Winchester Pack now.  

            He needs to see Gabriel.  His brother had always been able to help him through these attacks before.  Castiel is grateful he has a mate who understood how to calm him down, but he wants Gabriel’s reassurances too.  They’re something he’s become used to, and a piece of him still feels scared without them.

            Castiel dresses Mary in one of the warmer outfits as the wind continues to howl outside.  The fire doesn’t quite keep the chill from the air.  Castiel is quick to change into warm clothes himself before placing Mary into the sling around his chest and covering her with a blanket.

            The halls of the castle are even colder.  Castiel walks quickly, not wanting to spend any more time than he has to away from the warmth of a fire.  He’s thankful that Sam’s rooms aren’t too far from his and Dean’s.  

            Castiel is glad that Gabriel is the one to open the door when he knocks.  As much as he loves Jess, he really just wants to have a conversation with his brother, alone.  Gabriel takes one look at him and sighs.  “Rough night?”  He asks, leading Castiel to the sofa in front of the fireplace.

            “No, I actually slept through Mary waking up for her feedings.”  Castiel admits, guilt still tugging at him for that.  “But yesterday evening was bad.”

            “Bad how?”

            “I thought Dean was going to take Mary away from me and give her to Kevin and Charlie and them.  All I could think about was what happened in our old pack.  It was awful.”

            “Shit, Cassie.  I’m sorry.”  Gabriel hugs Castiel, and he leans into the embrace.  Gabriel smells safe and familiar.  Castiel needs that reassurance that he’s with someone he can trust completely.  He feels a bit guilty that it’s Gabriel he went to, instead of staying with Dean, but Gabriel understands what Castiel is going through because he was there, and Dean wasn’t.

            “I’m still shaken up.”  Castiel says quietly.  He looks down at Mary, who is sleeping peacefully, full from her morning bottle.  “I mean, I know Dean isn’t like that.  Obviously.  But it was like I was back in our old pack, and Dean wasn’t Dean and he was the Novak Alpha instead.”

            “First off, Cas, you need to stop calling him that.  He’s dirt.  Call him by his actual name.”  Gabriel says.  “Jess told me to try that, and it helps.  Gives that bastard Michael less power over you, or something like that.”

            Castiel hesitates.  There’s a voice in the back of his head saying that Gabriel is about to get dragged out and beaten, but he tries his best to quiet it.  He’s the mate of the Alpha of the Winchester Pack now.  He’s safe and loved.  

            “Go on.”  Gabriel says.  “I know it’s scary, but just trust me.”

            “I don’t know what to say.”  Castiel says.  Part of him just wants Gabe to drop it, but he knows that won’t happen.

            “Say that Michael Novak no longer has any control over you.”

            Castiel takes a deep breath.  He reaches down and grasps onto Gabriel’s hand for support.  It takes a minute, but the words finally come out.  “Michael Novak doesn’t control me any more.”

            Gabriel cheers and pulls Castiel into a hug.  Mary wakes up with a start, her angry howls competing with Gabriel’s cheers.  

            “Cassie, I’m so proud of you.”  Gabriel says once Mary’s been soothed enough to speak over.  “Just keep telling yourself that, okay?”

            Castiel nods in agreement.  He does feel a strange sense of relief.  He did something that might have gotten his tongue cut out in his old pack and nothing bad had happened.  He looks down at Mary and gives her a finger to latch onto.

            “We’re lucky, little one.”  He tells her, and Gabriel hums in agreement.

            “We’re trying for a baby, next time me or Jess goes into heat.”  Gabriel says suddenly.  The change in topic confuses Castiel for a moment, but he soon grins in excitement.

            “A little cousin for Mary to grow up with!”  He says excitedly.  “Gabe, that would be amazing.  Are you excited?”

            “Yeah.”  Gabriel says, but the words don’t sound entirely truthful.  Castiel doesn’t say anything, just looks at him pointedly and waits.  It doesn’t take long before Gabriel admits the truth.  “I’m worried that Jess will go into heat first and she’ll get pregnant and Sam will realize he’s made a mistake mating me and they won’t have a place for me in their relationship anymore.”

            Castiel wants to tell him that he’s being ridiculous, except he understands Gabriel’s fears all too well.  After all, he thinks, how many times has he had doubts about what he means to Dean?  All he can do is hug his omega brother.  “That won’t happen.  They both love you.  I think they have from the very first day they met you.  Besides,”  Castiel adds in an attempt to lighten the mood, “Sam probably wants both of you pregnant with his pups.”

            Gabriel smiles at that.  “You’re probably right.”  He admits.  “He hasn’t stopped talking about how adorable Mary is.  You’d think he was the one to give birth to her!”

            They both laugh.  Mary, hearing her name, reaches her arms out towards Gabriel and Castiel shifts her to the other omega.  Mary happily settles into Gabriel’s arms and beams up at him.

            “She is the cutest baby I’ve ever seen.  I mean, at least until we have one.”  Gabriel says with a smile.  

            “Nope, Mary will always be the cutest.”  Castiel counters.  

            They bicker cheerfully for a few minutes before growing quiet.  Gabriel looks like he’s thinking about something still, and Castiel worries that he’s still thinking that his mates won’t want him around.  He’s about to say something when Gabriel speaks instead.

            “Don’t hate me.”  He says.  Castiel doesn’t quite know how to respond to that - how could he possibly hate Gabriel - but he just squeezes Gabriel’s hand in support.  “I’ve been thinking about going down and meeting the new pack members.  The ones that brought Mary.  And I know you’re scared that they’ll want Mary back, but they can’t do anything now that Dean’s declared her his daughter.”

            “Why?”  Castiel asks, a sense of dread settling over him.  Mary must sense the change, because she lets out a little whimper of distress and reaches for him.  He takes Mary back from Gabriel and holds her tight against his chest.  “Why would you want to do that?”

            “Cassie, come on.  It’s not that big a deal.  Dean wouldn’t have let them into the pack if he didn’t think they were safe.  And one of them is an omega, and I don’t know, I feel like we should be there for her like Jess was there for us, you know?”

            Castiel knows Gabriel has a good point, but that doesn’t stop him from petulantly asking, “Can’t Jess go see her then?”

            Gabriel levels him with a serious look.  “No.  She’s with Sam, and you and I are going.  It will be good.  You need to prove to yourself that nothing will happen to Mary.”

            “Since when did you become so smart?”  Castiel grumbles.  

            “I’ve always been smart.”  Gabriel says cheerfully.  “Now, come on.  I bet Ellen has some muffins left from breakfast.”

            Ten minutes later, Gabriel with a muffin in each hand, they arrive at the infirmary.  Missouri greets them warmly and sends them through to where the four new pack members are staying.  Linda is asleep, and Kevin has his nose in a book.  Meg and Charlie are both awake though, talking softly to each other.  They both fall silent when they see their visitors.

            “Hello.”  Meg finally says.  She sounds hesitant and a bit suspicious.  “Castiel, right?”

            Castiel takes a deep breath and nods.  “And this is my brother, Gabriel.”

            “Nice to meet you.”  Charlie says with a smile.  Meg echoes her seconds later.

            “Is that the pup?”  Meg asks, her eyes landing on the sling Castiel is wearing.  “You named her Mary?”

            “Yeah.”  Castiel says.  His heart is pounding, and he’s sure the others can smell the scent of his anxiety.  Gabriel pats him on the back in support.  Castiel carefully lifts Mary from the sling.  “We named her after Dean’s mother.”

            “That’s so sweet.”  Charlie says.  She grins at Mary.  “She’s looking great.  I’m so glad she found a family.  I’m no good with pups.”

            A sense of relief settles over Castiel as he hears Charlie’s words.  She doesn’t want Mary back.  He’s confident enough that Mary is his that he’s able to answer, “You kept her alive, though.  Thank you.”  He senses Meg’s gaze on him, and he turns slightly so he can look at her.  “And thank you, too.”

            Meg flashes a grin that doesn’t feel entirely sincere, but her tone is friendly enough as she responds.  “So what brings you two down here?”

            Gabriel plops down on the foot of her bed, ignoring the chairs Missouri had brought over.  “We thought you might like some company.  I was in the infirmary forever after I arrived.  It gets lonely.”

            “You were?”  Meg asks in surprise.  

            “Yeah.  Cassie and I came from the Novak pack.  The bastard in charge beat me to a bloody pulp before Dean rescued me.”

            “Shit.”  Meg says.  

            Somehow that seems to break the ice.  Castiel settles into the chair next to Charlie’s bed, drawn to the other omega.  As Gabriel and Meg continue to trade battle stories, he strikes up a conversation with Charlie.

            “Did you come here when Dean was made Pack Alpha?”  He asks.  He’s trying to remember if he saw Charlie, thinking he might have remembered her red hair.  Charlie’s face falls when he asks, and Castiel immediately worries that he’s said something wrong.

            “No, I’m mated.”  She says softly.

            Gabriel breaks off mid-sentence to look at her.  “To whom?  Meg?”

            “God, no.”  Both women says at the same time.  

            “I had to leave my mate behind.”  Charlie says.  Sadness clouds her scent.  “Dorothy was imprisoned by the rebel leader in our pack.  She told me to leave if anything was to happen to her, but it hurts to know I may never see her again.”

            Castiel acts instinctively, hugging Charlie as best he can with the sling and Mary in the way.  “I’m sorry.”  He says.  “I wish I could help.”

            Charlie smiles sadly.  “Dorothy said she’d see me again, and I just have to trust her.”  She changes the subject, the topic clearly too much for her right now, and the others follow her lead.  Still, Castiel files the little bit of information away to tell Dean about later.  He wonders if his mate knows that Charlie’s mate was imprisoned.

Despite the heavy admissions, they end up having a good time chatting and sharing stories.  Meg still scares Castiel a bit, but she’s sharp and funny.  He has a feeling Dean will get along fantastic with Charlie.  Kevin joins in from across the room, since he’s still too weak to get out of bed.  Ellen sends them all hot chocolate when she sends in Mary’s bottle, and they spend the morning cozy and happy.  Castiel’s glad Gabriel made him come down.  

            Dean finds them in the infirmary about an hour later.  He’s covered in snow, the furry edges of his coat all icy.  “Hey, babe.”  He says from the doorway.  “Come warm me up?”

            Meg lets out a whistle while the others laugh.  Castiel flushes bright red.  “Dean – you - what?”  He stammers before Dean captures his lips with a searing kiss and most rational thought leaves his head.

            “I’ll take Mary up to Jess.”  Gabriel offers.  “Give you two some well-deserved alone time.”  He waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

            “Perfect.”  Dean lifts Mary out of the sling, gives her a kiss, and hands her and the sling to Gabriel.  Before Castiel can say goodbye, he’s being swept into his mate’s arms.  Laughter and whistles follow them out of the infirmary.

            “Not that I don’t love this,”  Castiel says to Dean, his legs wrapped around his mate’s waist as Dean carries him up to their rooms, “but what brought it on?”

            Castiel feels Dean’s shrug instead of seeing it, Dean’s muscles rippling below him.  “We haven’t done anything just us since we adopted Mary.  I’m beyond happy that she’s here, but I wanted to spend some time with you.”

            “That’s sweet.”  Castiel says, kissing Dean on the cheek.  “But did you have to do it in front of Gabriel?  He’s going to tease me for days.”

            “Sorry.”  Dean says, not sounding sorry in the slightest.  His mouth crooks upwards into a smirk.  “Let me make it up to you?  It’ll be worth it.”

            They reach their rooms, and Castiel starts unbuttoning Dean’s jacket as soon as the door closes.  “Okay.”  He says, flopping onto the bed.  “Go right ahead.”

            Dean’s eyes turn dark with lust, and Castiel realizes his mate is right.  Any teasing from Gabriel is totally fine with him when it means he gets Dean looking at him like he’s going to devour him.  And, actually, given how much Dean loves the taste of his slick, that’s not far from the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the ending is kinda abrupt, but I couldn't come up with anything better and the chapter was getting a bit long anyways. Hope you enjoy the chapter!


	24. Chapter 24

            Cold wind sends icy gusts through the room, but it’s not the freezing air that has Castiel shivering.  Instead, it’s Dean’s beard, his facial hair scratchy against the soft skin of Castiel’s thighs.  Castiel writhes above Dean, the sensation of his mate’s tongue against his hole almost too much for him to bear.  

            “Dean.”  Castiel hisses, the rest of his words getting lost when Dean expertly scissors two fingers inside of Castiel.  His back arches, waves of pleasure sweeping over him.  Dean’s fingers replace his tongue and he grins up at Castiel.  

            “Yeah, baby?  Something I can do for you?”  Dean says before capturing one of Castiel’s nipples in a bruising kiss.  

            “Fuck.”  Castiel moans.  Dean likes to tease, likes to drag things out, but Castiel doesn’t want that right now.  “Fuck me, knot me, now.”  He’s begging, and he doesn’t care.  

            “Shh, Cas, just wait.”  Dean says, and no, that’s not what Castiel wants to hear.  He tries to say as much, but Dean kisses him, hard and messy and _perfect_.  Castiel feels his hole getting slicker, and he whines.  Still Dean refuses to fuck him with anything other than his fingers.  He sets a slow, tortuous pace, fucking his fingers in and out of Castiel at a teasing speed.  It’s not long before Castiel is a whimpering, shaking, mess, overwhelmed with pleasure and desire.

            Castiel finally manages to get his fingers tangled in Dean’s hair and he pulls his mate towards him.  Dean smiles at him, capturing his lips in another perfect kiss.  

            “Ready, baby?”  Dean asks, like Castiel hasn’t been begging him for more for what feels like hours.  Still, Castiel whimpers at the loss of Dean’s fingers, not wanting to be empty.

            “Dean.”  He whines.  “I need your knot.”

            “I know, baby.”  Dean is hard and leaking as he arranges Castiel on the bed.  Finally there’s that perfect pressure against his hole, and then Dean is pressing into him.

            “Alpha.”  Castiel sighs in contentment.

            Dean doesn’t respond, just sets a fast pace as he thrusts in and out of Castiel.  His hands are running all over Castiel’s body, big and strong and touching all the right places.  Castiel isn’t sure how much time passes before he feels the perfect burn of Dean’s knot pulling on his rim.  

            “Fuck, Dean, knot me.”  He orders, his hips moving in perfect rhythm with Dean’s movements.  

            “Gonna fill you up.”  Dean growls.  “Gonna knot you.”  

            His growl seems to reverberate through Castiel, and Castiel is coming _hard_.  That’s enough for Dean’s knot to fully form, locking him with Castiel.  Castiel moans in contentment as he’s filled.  Dean all but collapses on top of him before rolling them both over so Castiel is laying on Dean’s chest.

            “Fuck.”  Dean says minutes later, pressing a kiss against Castiel’s sweaty forehead.  “Fuck, baby, that was amazing.”

            “Mmm.”  Castiel isn’t quite ready for words yet.  He settles for nuzzling into Dean’s chest instead.

            “Love you.”  Dean says, wrapping his arms around Castiel.  

            “Love you too.”  Castiel replies.  He manages to move enough to look at Dean.  His mate looks content and happy, his expression likely a mirror of Castiel’s.  They fall into a comfortable silence, the only noise in the room the crackling of the fire and Castiel’s occasional whine as Dean continues to fill him.

            It’s one of the things Castiel loves so much about being mated to Dean - that they can just be together without words.  They can lay in the quiet and yet he can still feel the steady pulse of their bond.  It’s comforting.  Before he came to the Winchester Pack, Castiel had no idea it was possible to feel so loved and connected with anyone, let alone an alpha.  

            Time passes - how quickly, Castiel is unsure, but eventually Dean is slipping free of Castiel and having a bath drawn to clean them both.  Though normally they would stay in the bath for a long time, today the icy chill in the air makes both of them rush through getting clean so they can wrap themselves in warm clothes.  

            Before getting Mary, they decide to have lunch, dragging out this precious little piece of alone time before they go back to being parents.  It’s then that Castiel remembers his earlier conversation with Charlie.

            “Did you know Charlie has a mate?”  He asks between bites of a hearty stew.  

            Dean frowns.  “No, she never mentioned it.  Why?”

            “Her mate was captured by Raphael’s followers and imprisoned.”

            Dean’s frown deepens.  “Why?”  He asks again.  “What did she do?”

            “Charlie didn’t say, and she looked so sad that I didn’t want to push.”  Castiel says.  “I just thought you might want to know.”

            “Thanks, Cas.”  Dean says.  “You want to come with me to the council rooms?  I need to meet with Sam and Bobby soon.”

            Castiel puts on several layers to make the trip to the council chambers.  Those rooms, he’s discovered, tend to be colder than the rest of the castle, and on a day like today, multiple layers are necessary.  They arrive to find Bobby, Sam, and Rufus already there and deep in conversation.  Dean quickly fills them in on what Castiel told him while Castiel settles into a chair.

            “Maybe we should see if Kevin and Charlie are strong enough to come up here and talk to us.”  Sam suggests.  “I know you mentioned wanting to talk to Kevin, and I’d like to hear more about Charlie’s mate.  She didn’t say anything when she joined the pack.”

            “She didn’t?”  Bobby asks, a frown on his face.

            “No, but I didn’t ask.”  Sam admits.  “She didn’t smell mated, and I just figured none of them were.”

            Bobby rolls his eyes but seems pacified with the response.  Dean asks Ash to bring Charlie and Kevin up from the infirmary.  They arrive ashen faced and shaking, and Castiel can’t help but feel sorry for them.  He knows the thoughts running through their heads, knows that they’re worried they’ll be kicked out of the pack or killed.  It’s how some Pack Alphas run things, but Dean doesn’t.  Castiel knows that the two newcomers will be okay, but he doesn’t have time to do anything but send them a reassuring smile before Bobby starts his questioning.

            “Sit down, both of you.”  He says.  “Charlie, is it?”

            Charlie nods.  “Yes, sir.”  She says, her voice barely above a whisper.

            “We heard that your mate was imprisoned by Raphael.”  Bobby says, and Charlie shoots a betrayed glance towards Castiel.  His heart drops, and he feels sick at the idea that he’s betrayed an omega.  They’re supposed to bond together against a tough world, not backstab each other.  Still, there’s no way he could have kept anything like that from his mate.  

            “Dorothy was captured two months before we left the pack.”  Charlie says, her voice dull.  “Raphael’s men accused her of acting disloyal to the pack.”  The sour scent of bitterness overwhelms her other scents.  “It was a cover for his own disloyalty, I think.”

            “Why her?  What made her a target?”  Sam asks.

            “Me.”  Charlie whispers.  “I’ve worked for a long time helping omegas in my old pack.  Dorothy joined me.  As Raphael was coming to power, it became more dangerous to be outspoken about omega rights.  There were others who were taken, too.”

            “You didn’t mention any of this when I questioned you.”  Sam says.

            “I know.”  Charlie says.  “And I’m sorry, I really am.  I didn’t think it mattered.  I just wanted to protect Dorothy.”

            The alphas in the room look like they want to say something, but Castiel surprises everyone - including himself - by speaking first.

            “Why did you come here?”  He asks.  

            Charlie looks at him for a moment.  “Dorothy always told me that if anything was to happen to her, go to the Winchester Pack.  She said it was safe for omegas here.”

            Dean’s voice is gentle when he speaks.  “I don’t appreciate you keeping secrets.  I understand you did it to protect your mate, but you swore loyalty to my pack.”

            “Yes, Alpha.”  Charlie bows her head in respect and submission.  

            “But, being mated, I understand.  So long as you are honest moving forward, there’s no bad blood between us.”

            Charlie’s head shoots up, her eyes wide.  “You aren’t kicking me out?”

            “No.”  Dean says firmly.  “I trust your scent.  I believe you.  I’m calling us even for you keeping Mary safe on your journey here, and we’ll move on.  If you think of anything that may be useful to my pack, I would like to know.  But otherwise, this is the end of the matter.”

            Tears are threatening to spill down Charlie’s cheeks, and Castiel reaches out to grab her hand.  “I had to tell Dean.”  He tells Charlie softly.  For some reason, he wants to make sure she understands, that she isn’t too mad at him.

            “I know.”  Charlie says.  “I get it.”  Castiel knows he’s lost her trust, but at least he has her understanding.  Charlie looks up at Dean.  “Thank you.”

            The attention shifts to Kevin.  He looks around the room and shrugs.  “I didn’t lie about anything, and I told Sam everything I knew about my old pack.”

            His calm approach seems to break some of the tension in the room.  Sam smiles.  “I know.”  He reassures the young beta.  “I just wanted you to tell Dean what you told me about Raphael.  It would help us.”

            Kevin nods in understanding.  “Everything I know is gossip and rumor.”  He warns.  “I worked as a healer, and lots of people would just talk to me.  From what I’ve gathered, Raphael has been gathering support for the past couple of years.  The old Pack Alpha wasn’t popular, exactly, but he wasn’t bad either.  It took Raphael some time to get the support he needed.  We left before anything happened - Sam, you were the one who told me that Raphael had killed the old Pack Alpha and taken his place.  But the fighting had already started.  That’s why I decided to leave.  I knew it would be dangerous to stay any longer, and I didn’t agree with Raphael on lots of things, especially his poor opinion of omegas.”

            Bobby and Rufus take turns asking logistical questions - how many supporters did Raphael have, who else held a position of power, things like that.  Kevin answers a few of them, but it’s clear that his knowledge is limited.

            Castiel feels like crying.  Everything that Kevin and Charlie have said has pointed to Raphael being barely better than the Novak Alpha.  Castiel worries that Raphael will attack the Winchester Pack, and it scares him.  He doesn’t know what he would do if anything happened to Dean, or really to anyone of the pack.  

            When Kevin finishes, Dean thanks him and asks Ash to escort him and Charlie back down to the infirmary.  Castiel stands before Dean finishes the sentence.  “I can do it.”  He says.  Dean gives him a quizzical look.  Castiel leans in, pecking Dean on the cheek, and whispers, “I need to apologize to Charlie, okay?”

            “Don’t beat yourself up too badly.”  Dean says softly.  “I’ll get Mary from Jess and Gabe when we finish here, okay?”

            Castiel nods, then heads for the door.  Charlie and Kevin follow him.  It isn’t until the three of them are a distance down the hallway that Castiel speaks.

            “I am sorry, Charlie.  I didn’t mean to scare you or make you think you would be kicked out.”  He says.

            “Why do you care so much?”  Charlie asks in reply.

            “Raphael’s cousin is my old Pack Alpha.  He treated me and the other omegas like animals, and I thought that’s how all omegas were treated.  I came here, and Dean showed me what it meant to be loved and cherished.”  Castiel says after a moment to think of how to answer.  “When we learned the connection between Raphael and my old Alpha, I was terrified.  I still am.  I just wanted Dean and the others to have all the information possible about Raphael, just in case.”

            “Oh.”  Charlie says softly.  “I wish you had told me, but I understand.”

            “Thanks.”  Castiel says, a bit of the guilt he’s been feeling finally going away.

            They arrive at the infirmary to find Meg waiting impatiently and Linda pale with worry.  Kevin immediately goes to her and reassures her everything is fine, while Charlie fills in Meg on what happened.  Meg sends a dirty glare Castiel’s way, but it softens as Charlie explains further.  

            Castiel is glad when he can finally escape to his rooms.  It’s been a long day, and all he wants is to fall into the embrace of his mate and hold his pup.  Of course, Mary has other ideas.  He can hear her screaming halfway down the hallway.  Castiel enters their room to find a very angry baby and a bewildered Dean.

            “I swear, Gabriel put a curse on her or something.”  He tells Castiel.  “She was fine until we left.  As soon as she realized it was just me and her, she started screaming bloody murder.”

            Castiel takes Mary from Dean and rocks her gently.  “She’s probably just tired.”  He says.  He starts singing a lullaby, one he knows that Dean secretly likes listening to as well.  Soon Mary’s cries quiet, and her little eyelids close.  

            Dean sighs.  “You’re much better at the whole soothing thing than I am.”  He says, and Castiel feels a swell of pride at those words, feels like he really has figured out this whole how to be a parent thing.  Dean pulls Castiel close, and Castiel rests his head on Dean’s shoulder.  “Are you okay?  I know hearing all of that was probably hard.”

            “It was.”  Castiel agrees.  “But at least I feel like I know what’s going on.  That helps.”

            “I’m going to keep you safe, Cas.  Nothing bad is going to happen to you or Mary, I promise.”

            “I know.”  Castiel says, and he believes what he said with all his heart.  Dean will always be there to protect him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of everything in this chapter! Hope you like it!


	25. Chapter 25

            The Winter Moon is fast approaching.  Dean’s looking forward to it.  Despite the ever-worsening winter weather, he loves the magical feeling of leading the pack on a run through the cold, snowy night.  Afterwards, there’s always a big feast to celebrate the Winter Moon.  Dean can’t wait for Cas to experience his first Winter Moon.  

            Unfortunately, there are other things that are more pressing than a full moon run.  After hearing both Charlie and Kevin talk about Raphael the day before, Dean knows exactly who he needs to get in touch with.  Sam isn’t going to be happy, Bobby will be furious, and Dean isn’t all that pleased about it himself.  Still, his goal is to protect his pack and his family.  He has to do what’s right for them.  

            Cas declines the offer to go to the council chambers with Dean, saying that he’d rather spend the day where it’s warm.  He takes Mary and goes off in search of Gabriel.  Dean heads off the opposite direction, Benny easily falling in step next to him.

            “There isn’t trouble in paradise, is there?”  Benny drawls.  Dean’s known him long enough to know he’s joking, and doesn’t take offense.

            “More like Cas doesn’t feel like turning into an icicle.”  Dean says.  “I swear, someone made the council chambers cold on purpose.”

            “Probably.”  Benny agrees.  He’s quiet for a moment before speaking again.  “You doing okay, brother?”

            “I’m worried.”  Dean admits.  Benny is his near constant companion, as his guard.  He’s also a good friend and has a good head on his shoulders, filled with advice.  “This business with Raphael has got me a bit freaked out.  At this point, I’m pretty sure Raphael does have the support of Cas’s old alpha, and that scares the hell out of me.”

            “Have you told Castiel?”

            “Sorta.”  Dean says, running a hand across the rough stubble of his short beard.  “He knows that it’s pretty likely, but I’m not going to say I’m certain until I actually am.”

            “Not about that.”  Benny says.  “About feeling scared.”

            “Not really.”  Dean says.  “Why?”

            “That’s what mates are for, Dean.  You talk to each other about things, and you’re there to support each other.  Talk to him, later.”

            It’s good advice, and Dean agrees, even though part of him is still hesitant to put any sort of stress or upset on his mate’s shoulders.  Cas has come a long way from the terrified omega he met two months ago, but Dean knows his mate still struggles with his past.  

            “I will.”  Dean promises as they round the corner to the council chambers.  To his surprise, Adam is standing outside the door, looking anxious.  “Adam?  What are you doing here?”

            “We need to talk.”  Adam says.  He looks at Benny hesitantly, like he’s unsure if he should say anything in front of him.  

            “Come on.”  Dean leads him into the smallest room of the council chambers and shuts the door.  “What’s up?”

            “One of the members of my pack came to me.  He said that the Winchester Pack is about to go to war.  I never would have accepted to come here if I knew that.  Now my pack has been dragged in the middle of something we have no part of.”

            Well, shit.  Dean rubs the side of his head, trying to figure out how to respond to Adam while at the same time wondering who the hell gossiped.  “Calm down, okay?  That’s not entirely true.”

            “Then why did you send your soldiers out?  My friend saw them, Dean.  He saw them leaving.”

            “Let me talk.”  Dean growls, putting enough _alpha_ in his voice that the beta listens.  In his regular voice, Dean continues.  “First, I’m not obligated to tell you anything.  No other Pack Alpha would recognize your pack right now, not without an alpha leader.  In everyone else’s eyes, you’re a part of my pack.  I don’t tell everyone in the pack what is happening.  That’s just how it goes.”

            Adam is sullen, but he accepts the truth of Dean’s words with a curt nod.

            “Second, if you want information, you need to actually act like a member of the Winchester Pack and my half-brother.  Not once have you shown any interest in being part of this pack’s leadership.”

            Maybe Dean’s too harsh, because he sees the way Adam’s face falls.  There’s a long stretch of silence before Adam speaks.  “I never thought that was an option.  You didn’t exactly say it was.”

            Dean opens his mouth to argue before realizing that Adam’s right.  He’s never offered Adam the chance to prove himself as a Winchester.  He’s still treating him as a little pup.  And yeah, Adam’s still young, but hell, he was running the pack by that age.  

            “Shit, Adam, you’re right.  I meant to, but I never got around to it.  And that’s not an excuse, I know.”  Dean rubs his head again.  “Consider this your offer.  I would like you to sit in on pack discussions with me and Sam and the others.  The information is confidential, unless I tell you otherwise.  But you’re right, you do deserve to know what’s going on - so long as you are actually committed to the pack.”

            Adam looks incredulous.  “Really?  You’d let me sit in?”

            “Yeah, I would.  If you’re interested.  If not, the conversation ends here.”

            “No, no, I’m interested.  Honestly.”  Adam says quickly.  

            “If I hear anything about you spreading information, it’s not going to be pretty.”  Dean warns.  Adam is quick to promise to listen to Dean’s conditions.  “Okay, then.  Come see what it takes to run a pack.”

            “Wait.  Dean, can - can you tell me why you were sending out soldiers?”  Adam asks, and the tough act he had been using is dropped in a second.  He sounds scared, not angry.  

            “There’s a possibility that we’ll need to evacuate the villages on the far east border.”  Dean says.  “I don’t want war, believe me.  But with the winter closing in, this is the only time I’ll be able to get people to the villages just in case, so that’s what I did.”

            “Oh.”  Adam takes a moment to consider this.  “I see.”

            “Good.  Now, come on.  I have to go piss off Sam and Bobby.”

            Adam obediently trails after Dean as they go into the larger meeting room.  Sam raises an eyebrow at the sight of Adam, but Dean is quick to explain that Adam is interested in being a part of the Winchester Pack and its leadership.

            “I think we need to get in touch with Crowley.”  Dean says after everyone is settled.  As he expected, the result is not pretty.  Bobby chokes on his drink, and Sam immediately begins to protest.  

            “The hell you thinking, idjit?”  Bobby roars when he gets his breath back.  “I’m not dancing with no devil.”

            “Why would we need to talk to Crowley?”  Sam asks, slightly quieter but no less intense.

            “I started thinking about what Charlie said last night.  If she and her mate were involved in some underground omega rights movement, I bet you anything that Crowley has a role in that.”  Dean says.

            “Who’s Crowley?”  Adam asks.  He shrinks under the attention as everyone in the room turns to look at him.  “Sorry, nevermind.”

            “Crowley is the leader of the pack to the southeast of us.”  Dean explains.  “He’s a bit of a troublemaker, but our packs go way back.”

            “He’s more than a bit of a troublemaker.  Remember that shit with the Roman pack?”  Sam asks.  “That was ugly.”

            “I know it was.  But we came to Crowley’s aid before, and now I want him to repay the favor.  We need more information, and Crowley’s going to have it.”

            There’s several more minutes of arguments, but eventually Dean is able to convince his brother and his advisors.

            “So long as we don’t end up owing that bastard any favors.”  Bobby declares.  

            Dean drafts a letter to Crowley, asking what information he can pass on about Raphael’s rise to power and the treatment of omegas in the Novak pack and under Raphael’s rule.  By late morning, the letter is sealed and given to one of the Winchester pack messengers.  It’s at least a week’s journey, in good weather, to the Crowley pack lands, so Dean isn’t sure when he’ll get a response, but it’s worth at least trying to get in touch with the other alpha.  

            Dean spends most of the afternoon hearing various pack issues and mediating between arguments.  It’s not his favorite part of being Pack Alpha, but it’s part of his job and he takes it seriously.  There are pack members who are still upset about Adam and his pack, and there are members of Adam’s pack unhappy with how some of the Winchester pack is treating them.  Dean gives out strict instructions that his half-brother’s pack is to be welcomed and treated as full members of the Winchester pack, though he worries that this is the start of something larger brewing within the pack.  He knows that several of the more powerful members of the pack would prefer he just takeover the tiny group.  And he would be well within his rights to do so - with no Pack Alpha, there’s nothing to stop him.  But he wants to build a relationship with Adam, not destroy the tentative peace they have.  

            The sun has gone down and it’s dinner time by the time Dean is finally free.  He follows Sam and Bobby down to the grand hall to join the pack for dinner.  He’s eager to see Cas and Mary.  

            Mary squeals when she sees him, her tiny hands reaching out towards him in a demand for him to hold her.  Dean takes her from Cas and kisses his mate.  “Missed you.”  He says as he bounces Mary in his arms.  Her giggles make both men smile.

            “Missed you too.”  Cas says.  

            Dinner is a much happier affair than the rest of Dean’s day had been.  Sam’s concerns about Crowley seem to have at least been pushed aside once he sees his mates.  Gabriel is excited about the Winter Moon run, which will be his first ever full moon run.  He’s talking a mile a minute about it.  Dean’s glad to see that Cas looks excited about the run.  With everything that happened the last time, he had been worried that the runs would have been soured for Cas.  Luckily, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

            “What about the pups?”  Cas asks, cutting off one of Gabriel’s many questions.  “Mary can’t shift back right now, and it’s cold out for the little pups.”

            “Don’t worry.”  Dean tells him.  “The older members of the pack and several of the guards stay behind during the winter to watch over the pups.”

            Cas looks relieved, but Dean receives a slap to the back of his head from Ellen.  “Watch who you’re calling old, Dean Winchester.”  She scolds.

            Dean goes to respond, but Mary chooses that moment to spit up down the front of both herself and him.  He and Cas say goodnight to everyone and quickly retreat to their room.  Once Dean changes his shirt and Cas has cleaned up Mary, they settle down in front of the fire.  Mary’s too little to move around much, but she likes staring at the dancing flames and is perfectly happy to lay on the rug.  Dean leans back against the sofa and draws Cas onto his lap.

            “Are you excited for the Winter Moon?”  Dean asks softly.

            “Yes.”  Cas says immediately.  “Very.  As long as there’s something warm to eat from Ellen afterwards.”

            Dean laughs and promises that there will be.  As a pup, the first few Winter Moon runs he had gone on had been extra exciting because he’d been allowed to stay up afterwards for the feast.  They talk for a few minutes, Cas asking questions about what it’s like being shifted in the snow and how it feels, and Dean answering the best he can - although there really is no substitute for actually doing it.

            “You know how I promised you that I would tell you how I’m feeling?”  Dean asks when there’s a lull in the conversation.  Cas hums and nods into his chest.  “I haven’t been totally honest.”

            Cas twists, turning to look at Dean with a slightly frozen expression.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”  He asks quietly.  

            “Nothing bad, I promise.”  Dean rushes to say.  “It’s just - I thought I had to be strong for you with this whole Raphael business, but Benny told me to stop bottling things up.  I’m scared too, Cas.”

            His mate’s features soften.  “I know.”  Cas says.  “I can smell it on you, sometimes.”

            “You knew?  Why didn’t you say anything?”  
            “Because you respected my need for space to figure things out before.  I just figured you needed some time to figure out what you were feeling and how to deal with it before you said anything to me.”  Cas explains.

            “Oh.”  Dean says.  “How’d I luck out with a mate like you?”  He asks.  “Thanks for giving me time, Cas.  You’re right, I didn’t know how to deal with everything.  I’m not sure I know now.”

            “You know how I deal with things now?”  Cas asks.  “I tell you.  You always listen and offer advice and love and encouragement.  I want to be able to do the same for you.”

            “You do.”  Dean tells him.  “I’ve never been one to talk about my feelings, at least before you came here.  You’ve helped me open up.”

            Cas snuggles into Dean, peppering him with short, sweet kisses.  “It’s a good thing we found each other.”  He says.  Mary coos from her spot on the floor, the happy sound wrapping around Dean and making him smile.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter - what do you think? More Gabriel is coming up the next couple of chapters, and so is the Winter Moon run.


	26. Chapter 26

            A fresh blanket of snow coats the ground when Castiel wakes up the morning of the Winter Moon.  He’s up before Dean and Mary, and he takes a rare moment to enjoy the silence of a cold winter morning.  He has a warm blanket wrapped around his shoulders, protecting him from the icy chill of the wind.  Winters in his old pack weren’t as cold or as snowy, and he’s still getting used to the freezing temperatures.  

            Mary starts to fuss after about twenty minutes of peace, and Castiel lifts her from her cradle and rocks her.  Crooning softly in an attempt to soothe her, he crosses the room and opens the door to get the morning bottle the kitchen had already sent up.  Mary is eager to eat, her tiny fists waving angrily in the air as she waits for Castiel to settle back onto the bed to feed her.

            He loves the moments like this with Mary, when he gets to hold her against his body and let her grip one of his fingers tightly.  It’s easy to forget that Mary isn’t his by blood or birth.  She fits in his and Dean’s lives so perfectly that it’s impossible to imagine a life without her.  Now that she’s had a few weeks to recover, she’s looking more like a pup should.  Her body is still too skinny, but she’s been steadily gaining weight.  She’s much more alert now than she was when she first shifted.  She’s a curious little pup, always watching what’s happening around her.  

            Castiel loves the tiny wisps of her brown hair.  She somehow looks like Dean, with the same sandy hair and spattering of freckles on her face.  She’s got a beautiful smile, her cheeks starting to get pudgy with baby fat like they should.  Castiel can’t help but want to give her siblings.  He wants Mary to have brothers and sisters to play with, wants her to have the family he never had.  It’s too soon to think about it, of course, but Castiel knows in his heart what he wants.

            Mary finishes her bottle with a noisy slurp.  Castiel sets the bottle on the floor and readjusts Mary onto his shoulder.  He burps her, a smile crossing his face at the loud burp that seems impossible coming from such a tiny body.  She settles into his arms with a satisfied sigh, her bright eyes looking up at Castiel.  

            There’s a soft groan from the other side of the bed.  Dean emerges from the covers, his hair adorably messy.  “Hey, beautiful.”  He says, his voice still hoarse with sleep.

            “Which one of us are you talking to?”  Castiel teases.  

            Dean grins, leaning over to kiss Castiel good morning.  “You.”  He says.  He dips down to press a kiss to Mary’s forehead.  “And her.”

            Mary manages to stick her tiny finger into Dean’s eye while her other hand tightens around a fistful of his hair.  Dean winces and reaches up to gently untangle her grip.  Castiel reaches over the side of the bed to get one of the soft toys Jess, Gabriel, and Sam had given Mary.  Mary takes it and contentedly sucks on the soft material.

            “Are you busy today?”  Castiel asks.

            Dean sighs.  “Sorry, Cas.  There’s a village about a quarter day’s ride from here, south of us.  Jody sent word that there’s been some damage thanks to a storm, and I want to go check it out.  I’ll be back before the run, don’t worry.”

            “Be careful.”  Castiel makes Dean promise.  “You’ll be warm enough?”

            “I’ll be just fine.”  Dean promises.  They snuggle for a few minutes longer, before Dean apologizes and says he really does have to get going.  Castiel lets out a teasing whistle as Dean strips from his sleep clothes to dress in warmer attire.  

            Castiel lingers in bed a while longer, enjoying snuggling with his daughter.  It’s not until Mary starts getting fussy at doing nothing that he decides to get up for the day.  He places Mary back in her cradle so he can dress - something she is not happy about.  Her cries prompt Castiel to dress quickly, and soon he scoops her back up.  Next he dresses Mary in another one of the cozy little outfits she now has.  She coos happily, sighing in contentment as Castiel puts on the sling and tucks her tiny body against his.  

            The journey down to the kitchen is bitterly cold.  Castiel is glad he tucked an extra blanket around Mary.  The kitchen itself, though, is nice and warm, what with the roaring fires and the bustle of people.  Castiel greets everyone he passes.  He’s stopped often for the kitchen staff to coo over Mary, but eventually he makes it to the far corner of the kitchen, where he’ll be out of the way.  He’s barely sat down when Ellen appears with a thick slice of bread slathered in butter.

            “Good morning.”  Castiel greets her.  Although Ellen’s efficiency is still a bit scary, he’s grown used to her ways in the past couple of months.  She mothers him the same way she mothers Dean and Sam.  Castiel is quietly grateful for how she treats him, enjoying having a maternal figure in his life.  

            “Morning, Castiel.”  She sets a cup of tea down in front of him.  “Stay warm.”  She pauses momentarily to say hello to Mary before bustling off, disappearing into the crowded kitchen.

            He wants to talk to Gabriel, but it’s early enough that he’d most likely wake Gabriel and his mates up.  So instead he settles into his seat, making small talk with the kitchen staff nearby.  He feels more comfortable here than with the more prominent members of the Winchester Pack.  They still intimidate him.  Here, although he’s still treated with quiet respect, he’s treated more as just another member of the pack, and he doesn’t have to act any certain way.  

            “Castiel?”  A soft voice says, and Castiel turns to see Adam standing a few feet away.

            “Morning.”  Castiel greets him.  “What are you doing here?”

            Adam shrugs.  “I get bored staying in our rooms all the time, and I don’t really feel comfortable just wandering the castle.  Not everyone is as friendly as they are in here.”

            Castiel’s heart sinks.  He’d been hoping that Adam would settle into life at the Winchester Castle, but apparently the rift that John had created between his old pack and his new one was too deep to heal this quickly.  

            “You can always visit me.”  Castiel says.  “Or Jess and Gabe.”

            “I know.”  Adam blushes.  “I just don’t want to be a bother.”

            “You aren’t.”  Castiel tells him.  

Adam doesn’t look all that convinced.  Castiel knows the young beta is lonely, and it’s not like there’s anyone in his small pack his age.  There are pups his age in the Winchester Pack, but with the uncertainty between the two packs, it must be difficult for Adam to make friends.

“Well, I’m going to see Gabriel soon.”  Castiel says.  “Would you like to come along?”

            Adam considers the offer before shaking his head.  “No thanks.  I don’t want to intrude.”  

            Castiel spends the next few minutes trying to persuade the beta that he wouldn’t be intruding, but nothing he says will make the boy budge.  Finally, Castiel tells him that he’ll see him at the Winter Moon run, and leaves.  Ellen sends him on his way with a basket of her freshly baked muffins for Gabriel.   

            When Castiel arrives, Gabriel doesn’t seem to know whether to grab Mary or the muffins.  He settles for kissing her on the forehead, grabbing the basket out of Castiel’s hands, and moving aside so Jess can scoop Mary up and cuddle her.

            “Did Sam go out with Dean?”  Castiel asks.

            “Yeah.”  Jess says.  She must notice Castiel’s underlying concern, because she shifts Mary to one side and pats his arm reassuringly.  “They do this fairly often.  It’ll be fine.”

            Castiel shivers.  “I’m cold just thinking about them.”

            Jess laughs.  “Just wait until tonight.”  She says.

            “I’m excited about the run.”  Castiel protests.

            “You just aren’t excited about the cold.”  Gabriel chimes in.

            “Well, yeah.”  Castiel says.  “Are you?”

            “I don’t care what the weather is, Cassie.  I just want to enjoy my first ever run as a shifted wolf.”

            Castiel settles down in front of the fireplace.  “Fair enough.”  He says.  “Have you shifted yet?”

            Gabriel pauses, glancing over at Jess uncertainly.  “I - yeah.”  He says almost guiltily.  “Sorry.”

            “What are you sorry for?”  Castiel asks, truly confused.  He doesn’t get why Gabe is acting so shifty.

            “Well, I thought you might be upset that you weren’t here, but it was just me and Sam and Jess, and I’m sorry.”  Gabriel says in a rush.  For a horrible moment, Castiel sees not the confident omega brother he looks up to but the scared, beaten-down omega that Gabriel was reduced to in their old pack.

            “Don’t be silly.”  Castiel says.  “I shifted for the first time without you around, right?”  
            Gabriel seems to unfold a little from the hunched up position he’s in.  “Right.”  He says.  “Right.  I don’t - I don’t know what came over me.”  He looks pleadingly up at his mate.  Jess hands Mary back to Castiel and envelopes Gabriel in a tight hug.  

            A part of Castiel is hurt that he’s not the one Gabriel asked for comfort.  They had spent their entire lives relying on each other.  But he reminds himself that the bond of mates is just as strong, and that he often goes to Dean when he’s seeking comfort.  It’s a natural progression of their relationships, Castiel knows.  

            Castiel also knows he needs to reassure Gabriel that everything is okay.  Although Gabriel has always been the stronger one of the two of them, more resilient to the abuse they suffered each day, Castiel knows his brother hurts just as badly as he does inside, especially at moments like this.

            “So what do you look like as a wolf?”  Castiel asks.  “It’s been so long that I can’t remember.”

            Gabriel pulls away from Jess after nuzzling against her cheek one last time.  “Wanna see?”  He asks, and Castiel nods eagerly.  Gabriel strips quickly.  Jess protests that there are ‘baby eyes’ in the room, and she turns Mary away.  Gabriel shifts quickly, something that Castiel still isn’t able to do with such ease.  His wolf is small - which makes perfect sense, given his size as a human.  He has a beautiful tawny coat, his fur long and wavy.  

            “Wow, Gabe, you look great.”  Castiel says, and his brother seems to preen under the praise.  He shifts back just as quickly and pulls on his clothes.  

            “I forgot how much I liked shifting.”  Gabriel says as they all settle around the fireplace again.  Mary is lying on her back in the middle of the fluffy rug, staring up at Jess with her big, curious eyes.  

            Jess is quiet when she speaks.  “I wish you two could have gotten the childhood every pup deserves.”  She says.  Her scent, normally soft and floral, goes sour.  “It’s not fair.”

            Castiel doesn’t really have a response for that.  It isn’t fair.  He knows that.  But until he got here, he hadn’t known it wasn’t fair, hadn’t known that omegas were equals.  So he doesn’t know what to say, other than to nod in agreement.  It’s a subject that he’s not sure how much he wants to think about, although he knows Jess is only saying it out of love.

            “Our pups and Mary are going to get that childhood.”  Gabriel says.  He squeezes Castiel’s hand, a gentle reminder of where he is and who he’s with.  “And that will make up for it.”

            “You’re right.”  Jess says.  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make this sad.”

            “It’s okay.”  Castiel tells her, Gabriel echoing him moments later.  “But Gabe’s right.  Our pups are going to be spoiled rotten.”

            Jess laughs.  “You’re right about that.”  She leans down to tickle Mary, sending the tiny pup into a fit of giggles.  “This little cutie already is.  Benefits of being the first pup, huh?”  She coos at Mary.  

            Although Castiel is far away from his old pack, he’s still grateful that his little pup is a beta.  Castiel likes to think of all the things Mary will get to do, things that were forbidden or impossible in his old pack for him.  He knows that here, it doesn’t matter if she’s a beta or an omega or an alpha, that she’ll get the same childhood as the other pups.  She’ll be able to shift and race around the castle with the cousins and siblings Castiel hopes to someday give her.  She’ll never again go hungry.  She won’t have to listen to words of hurt and abuse being hurled at her.  Instead, she’ll grow up happy and healthy and the apple of her parents’ eyes.  

            Mary twists her head.  When she sees Castiel, her face lights up and she reaches out, asking to be picked up.  Castiel scoops her back into his arms, nuzzling against the soft wisps of hair and breathing in the baby smell.  When he looks up, both Gabe and Jess are watching him with longing.  He can see just how badly they both want to have a baby, and he hopes it happens for them soon.  

            It’s late afternoon when Sam and Dean arrive back at the castle.  Castiel embraces his frozen mate before quickly letting go, shivering as snow lands on him.  “Dean.”  He complains.  

            Dean just laughs and pulls him in again to kiss him.  His nose is cold pressed up against Castiel’s warm skin, and the omega can’t help the shiver that runs down his spine.  Mary is even less impressed with snowy Dean.  He can only hold her for a moment before she starts crying and Castiel has to take her back.

            “Let’s get you warmed up before you go out and get cold again.”  Castiel says.  They end up in front of the fireplace in their room.  Dean strips down to just his pants and lays out on the rug.  Castiel puts Mary on his chest.  This time she’s happy to snuggle with her alpha father.  She sticks her thumb in her mouth and falls asleep like that.  

            Later, once the moon has risen, the pack assembles outside the castle.  The air is brisk and cold.  Snow has started falling again, making the night seem even more magical.  Excited yips and barks fill the air as the pack waits for the run to start.  Castiel looks around for Sam, knowing it will be easier to spot the giant wolf than Gabriel’s small shifted form.  But Gabriel finds him instead, bounding over and nearly knocking Castiel into the snow.  He prances around Castiel, happily showing off his wolf form.  Castiel yips at him.  He’s glad to see his brother so happy.  

            It feels like they’ve finally made it.  They both have loving mates and feel safe in their new home.  Being in their wolf forms together, without anyone punishing them for shifting, is like the last piece of proof that they are far away from the horrors of their old pack.

            Dean nudges Castiel with his nose before raising his head and howling, signalling the start of the run.  He leads the pack away from the castle and into the cold, dark night.  It takes a few moments for Castiel to adjust to running in snow.  Before long, though, he figures out how to leap through the snow.  Dean was right, Castiel thinks as he bounds after his mate.  The Winter Moon run is magical.  There’s really no other way to describe it.  

            Snow crunches underfoot as they run.  Each huff of air is visible, something that normally makes Castiel shiver but now makes him smile.  The brisk wind ruffles his fur and sends drifts of snow across their path.  The falling snow seems like millions of tiny stars.  Castiel knows he’s being overly romantic, but it’s the first time he’s ever experience something like this, and he wants to treasure every moment.

            Dean leads the pack out towards the open fields to the south of the castle.  There, the pack spreads out.  Castiel watches in awe as the pack forms a huge circle, throwing their heads back almost as one.   Their howls pierce the air.  The sound carries over the field and silences all the birds and other animals nearby.  This is the night the wolves claim their dominance over the land.

            Castiel stares up at the full moon.  When he was a pup, the older omegas used to tell stories of the pull of the moon, of what it felt like to bask in the moon’s light.  Castiel understands that pull now.  He understands the feeling of being a part of something larger.  The old stories say that the wolves got their power to shift from the moon.  Running under the full moon is a sign of respect, a way of thanking the moon for their ability.  The Winter Moon is said to be the most powerful.  Castiel can understand why.  It hangs above them, ruling the sky and the land below.  

            The pack leaves the field, but the feeling of what happened there isn’t going to leave Castiel anytime soon.  He presses his nose against Dean, silently thanking his mate for giving him this experience.  Dean huffs back at him.  He manages to look pleased with himself even in wolf form.

            Dean leads the pack in a long, winding run.  When they finally do arrive back at the castle, Castiel is tired but happy.  And cold.  Tiny icicles have formed on his fur and snow is packed into his paws.  He doesn’t care, though.  This night has been one of the best of his life.  

            The pack separates briefly as everyone shifts from wolf to human and dresses.  Castiel and Dean linger a few extra minutes in their room.  “Thank you.”  Castiel whispers, letting his mate pull him close against his body.  “This was wonderful.”

            “I’m glad.”  Dean says.  He cups Castiel’s chin and tilts it upwards so he can kiss him, and Castiel just melts into his mate’s hold.  “I wanted your first Winter Moon run to be special.”

            “It was.”  Castiel promises.  “I’ll never forget it.”

            “Good.”  Dean pulls away.  Castiel whimpers at the loss of contact, but he knows there is more of the night left.  “It’s not over yet, baby.  Come on.  Wait till you see what Ellen makes for us.”

            The Great Hall is packed with people.  The tables are filled with more food than Castiel has ever seen in his life.  The kitchen staff must have been working for days to prepare for such a feast.  Castiel settles into his seat next to Dean and just takes in everything.  Groups of pups race between tables, their laughter like music to Castiel.  He misses his own pup, and he’s glad to see Ellen heading towards them, cradling a fussy Mary.  

            “I know it’s late.”  Castiel soothes her, slipping on the sling and gently placing Mary inside.  His familiar scent is enough to calm her.  Despite the noise, she falls asleep easily now that she’s back with her parents.  

            Sam, Jess, and Gabriel show up moments later.  Gabriel has a huge smile on his face.  It might be among the happiest Castiel has ever seen his brother, and it brings a smile to his own face.  

            “That was amazing.”  Gabriel says, pulling Castiel into a hug.  He looks lovingly over at his mates.  “I’m glad I got to experience with you.”

            Jess is so emotional that she looks close to tears, and her voice breaks when she tells Gabriel she’s glad too.  Sam simply bypasses words altogether and pulls his two mates into a giant bear hug that lasts until Gabriel announces he’s being squished.

            The feast lasts until the early hours of the morning.  By the time the candles have started to burn low, Castiel is exhausted and wishing he could just fall asleep anywhere like Mary.  Instead, he sits on his mate’s lap, leaning back into Dean’s strong chest and letting him wrap his arms around Castiel.  

            “Having a good time?”  Dean asks.  His voice is low and husky and sends a shiver down Castiel’s spine.

            “Mmm.”  Castiel says.  “This is wonderful, Dean.”  He’s about to say more, but yawns instead.

            Dean laughs.  “Ready for bed?”  He asks.  Castiel nods.  He’s not sure he has enough energy left to make it up to their room, but he doesn’t exactly have a choice unless he wants to fall asleep at the table like Bobby has.

            Later, once Mary has been tucked into her cradle, Castiel crawls under the layers of blankets and cuddles close to his mate.  “Happy Winter Moon.”  He says softly.  Dean wraps his arms around Castiel and pulls him closer.

            “Happy Winter Moon, Cas.”

 


	27. Chapter 27

            The day following the Winter Moon is a quiet one.  Dean and Cas stay in bed all morning, playing with Mary or just cuddling together and enjoying a few hours of peace.  Cas is giving Mary her mid-morning bottle when their conversation turns to the night before.

            “I never thought I’d ever experience something like that.”  Cas says.  “I mean, if you asked me a few months ago if I would ever get to shift again, I would have said no.”

            Dean’s heart breaks every time his mate talks about life in his old pack, and this time is no different.  They’re meant to shift.  It’s part of who they are and how they came to be.  Dean tries to picture his own life if he had been banned from shifting.  All these wonderful memories of playing as a pup would be gone.  He wonders how much Cas knew as a pup, how much he understood that he was being denied something so natural.

            “You’re here now.”  Dean says.  It’s something of a common phrase now, an instant reassurance that Cas is safe and sound and in a place where he’s loved and cherished.  It doesn’t say everything Dean wants to say, but he doesn’t know how to say all of what he’s thinking.

            “Do you ever wonder-”  Cas’s voice breaks, and he pauses for a moment.  “What if something happened and we never met?”  

            Dean feels like he’s been punched.  He wasn’t expecting a question like this, and it takes all the air from his lungs.  He’s never really thought about what if he and Cas never met.  He wishes they had met sooner, that he could have swept Cas away from all that abuse and heartache years ago, but never meeting his mate was a possibility that had never occurred to him.  By the looks of Cas, though, it’s clearly something his mate has thought about before.

            “No.”  Dean answers honestly.  “Cas, we were always going to meet.”

            His mate doesn’t look convinced.  “How can you know that?  I was nearly left behind for the ceremony when you were named Alpha.”  His voice rises.  Mary shifts restlessly in his arms, unsettled by his changing scent.  

            “Because you’re my mate, Cas, and the universe would have found a way to bring us together.”  Dean says.  “Because that’s what happened.  There’s no use thinking about what could have happened.  The past isn’t going to change.  You’re here, and safe, and loved.”

            Cas blinks rapidly, trying to stop from crying, but it doesn’t work.  Tears roll down his cheeks as he cries silently.  Dean leans over to hold his mate.  Cas curls against his chest and sobs loudly.  His whole body is shaking.  Mary joins in, confused by what’s happening, but her tiny cries are drowned out by Cas’s crying.  The heavy scent of sorrow fills the room, pressing down on them and making it hard to breath.  Dean feels lost.  Cas has cried before, but never like this.  He doesn’t know what to do beyond just to hold his mate, even if that doesn’t feel like nearly enough.

            Dean uses his free hand to lift Mary out of Cas’s hold.  He’s half-afraid that this will make Cas worse, but all his mate does is curl into a tighter ball.  Dean carefully settles Mary on his shoulder before wrapping his arms around Cas and holding him tight.  The minutes pass.  Dean isn’t sure what to say, so he keeps repeating that he loves Cas and that it will be okay.  The longer Cas cries, though, the less sure Dean is that everything will be okay.

            When Cas’s tears finally do stop, his eyes are red and puffy and his voice is hoarse.  “Sorry.”  He says, and Dean’s heart breaks even more.  

            “Shh, Cas, you have nothing to be sorry for.”  He says quickly.  He presses a kiss to Cas’s forehead.  “You have a lot to be sad about.  It’s okay to cry.”

            “I’ve never - I’ve never cried like that before.”  Cas admits.  He buries his face into Dean’s neck.  His voice is muffled when he continues.  “We used to be beaten for crying.”

            It’s a detail that Cas has never shared before.  Dean feels like he’s going to be sick.  His arms tighten around Cas, as if that will protect him from the ghosts of his past.  It won’t though.  Cas starts crying again, his tears making the fabric of Dean’s shirt damp.  Mary wails too, picking up on the sorrow of her parents.  

            Dean blinks back tears.  He wants to cry too, but he also wants to be strong for his mate.  Cas needs him to stay calm right now.  As much as Dean wants to tear the Novak Alpha apart limb by limb, that’s not exactly an option he has at the moment.  What he does have is a mate who needs him and a pup who doesn’t understand what’s happening.  He needs to reassure them.  

            Dean has questions, too.  All those other times that Cas cried, had he been scared that Dean would beat him then too?  It’s almost too horrible for Dean to think about, but he has to.  He has to know if his mate is still scared of him, or just scared of the past.  It’s an important distinction.  

            Cas stops crying a few minutes later.  Dean guesses it’s more because his body can’t handle the physical side of it, not that Cas is really done crying.  He has years of things to cry about, after all.

            “Cas, baby, I’ve got you.”  Dean soothes.  “And I love you more than I could ever explain.”  He rubs Cas’s back, trying his best to calm down his mate.  

            “Love you.”  Cas whispers.  He takes several deep breaths, trying to calm down.  After a moment, he reaches out and gathers Mary in his arms.  She starts to settle, comforted by the fact that her omega father is no longer crying.  

            They sit like that for a long time.  Cas is curled up on Dean’s lap, leaning into his chest and scenting him.  Mary is in his arms, tucked between her parents.  Dean has his arms around Cas and Mary, holding them tightly and wishing he could take all of Cas’s pain away.    

            “Cas?”  Dean asks when Cas’s scent has started to return to normal.  “I hate to ask this, but I need to know.  When you came here, and cried, did you think I would beat you?”  He almost doesn’t want to know the answer.

            Cas pulls away slightly, enough that he can look Dean in the eyes.  “Only at first.”  He says.  “But I learned quickly that you were a kind alpha.  A kind person.”  He swipes a hand over his face, trying to dry off some of the tears still tracking down his cheeks.  “But it’s hard to forget what happened before, you know?  Even after I knew it wouldn’t happen here, I still had all these awful memories of what already happened.”

            “I understand.”  Dean says quietly.  And in a way, he does.  He remembers the attack on the castle when he was a pup, the dead bodies of his packmates and the blood in the hallways.  The screams.  It doesn’t affect him the way Cas’s past affects him, but it’s just enough that he understands where Cas is coming from.  “And I know it’s awful, but talking about what happened helps.”

            “Does it?”  Cas asks.  His voice is so tiny, so close to shattering, and Dean thought his heart couldn’t break any more than it already had, but it does.  “Does it really?”

            “Yes.”  Dean says firmly.  “You have to let the demons out, Cas.  It hurts, but it helps, too.”  He runs a hand down Cas’s back.  “It doesn’t have to be with me, either.  Anyone you feel comfortable with works.”

            Dean can see that Cas is thinking about this new information, and he doesn’t press for a response.  Instead, he kisses Cas again, trying to convey all the love and awe he has for his mate in one simple kiss.  Cas melts back against him.  It isn’t long before Cas is asleep, worn out from crying so much.  Dean carefully moves so he can pick up Mary from Cas’s hold.  She snuggles into his shoulder and falls asleep not long after.

            Dean isn’t tired, but he closes his eyes and breathes deeply.  He focuses on the sound of his mate’s and his pup’s heartbeats.  He breathes in their scents.  Mary’s has gone back to normal, the milky scent of a content pup.  Cas’s is still off, but not nearly as bad as it was earlier.  

            It hurts, knowing Cas is dealing with such painful memories and not being able to do anything about it.  He wants to just fix things, but that’s not how minds work.  He knows that, knows too well about how hard it is to get over loss and hurt.  He knows, and yet he knows nothing when it comes to the pain that Cas carries.  

            Dean doesn’t sleep.  He stays awake to watch over his family.  He’s there when Cas cries out in his sleep, there to soothe his mate with gentle touches and soft words.  He alternates pressing kisses against Mary’s tiny head and Cas’s cheek.  He needs to reassure himself that they’re both here and safe in his arms.  

            It’s just past noon when Cas stirs.  He doesn’t speak, just wraps his arms around Dean’s neck and kisses him.  Dean uses his free hand to cup the back of Cas’s head and pull him deeper into the kiss.  It’s not sexual at all, just pure feeling and emotion.  

            “Are you feeling any better?”  Dean asks softly when he breaks away from the kiss.  

            Cas shrugs.  “Maybe?”  He says uncertainly.  “I don’t know what I feel, to be honest.”

            “That’s okay.”  Dean says.  “Just - do you feel safe?”  He needs to know.  It’s a selfish question, he knows, one that will only soothe his own worries.  

            “Yes.”  Cas smiles at him.  “I always feel safe when I’m with you.”

            Warmth spreads in Dean’s chest at his mate’s words.  The alpha side of him is pleased that he makes his mate feel safe.  He presses their foreheads together in a wordless response.  

            Mary wakes with a soft cry, the tiny worry lines on her forehead smoothing out when she scents them and realizes things are calmer.  Still, Dean wants to be able to take care of his mate without upsetting his pup.  

            “How about we ask Gabriel to watch Mary for a little while, and you and I can take a bath?”  Dean asks.  Cas hesitates for a moment, clearly torn, before nodding in agreement.

            Once Mary is settled with her uncle and the bath has been drawn, Dean helps Cas into the tub before getting in himself.  The cool air of the room is offset by the warm bathwater.  Dean leans back against the edge of the tub and pulls Cas against him so that his mate’s back is pressed against his chest.  

            “This is nice.”  Cas says after a few moments of peaceful silence.  “I didn’t realize how sore I was until now.”

  
            “I’m not surprised.  Crying that much has to hurt.”  Dean answers.  He wraps his arms around Cas and nuzzles against his neck.  

            “Yeah.”  Cas falls silent again, but Dean can tell his mate is thinking.  He doesn’t push, though.  Cas will speak when he’s ready.  Dean understands the importance of quiet time.  

            Dean rubs Cas’s shoulders, working out the tight knots and kinks in his muscles.  Soon enough, Cas has all but melted against him.  His scent is finally almost back to normal, the sweet scent of contentment filling the room.  They laze about in the tub until the water starts to cool.  When they get out, Dean wraps Cas up in a towel and carries him over towards the fireplace.

            “I can walk, you know.”  Cas says with a small laugh.

            “I know.  I just want to pamper you.”  Dean admits.  They settle on the sofa, Cas curled up in Dean’s lap, and eat lunch.  Only after they’ve eaten do they get up and get dressed.  

            “Thank you.”  Cas says, kissing Dean.  “This was nice.”  
            “Anything for you, Cas.”  Dean promises.  The smile Cas gives him in response is beautiful.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote this chapter pretty quickly! Hope you enjoy the chapter, and as always, let me know what you think!


	28. Chapter 28

In the days that follow the Winter Moon, Castiel finds himself reluctant to leave Dean’s side.  He feels safe - that’s not the issue right now.  It’s more that he’s afraid that something will happen to Dean, or that he’ll suddenly wake up and this will all have been a dream.  It’s dumb, he knows, but it’s how he feels.  Luckily, Dean doesn’t seem to mind.  At the moment he’s curled up on Dean’s lap, head tucked under Dean’s chin, as they debate whether they really want to get out of bed.  Mary, as usual, makes the decision for them as she wakes up.

            Once Mary has been fed, Castiel lays her down on the bed on her tummy.  Her bright eyes take in everything as she looks around.  Castiel loves these quiet, peaceful moments where he can just savor the contented scents of his family.  Dean pulls him in closer so they can kiss.  

            “I hate to say it, but I need to get to work.”  Dean says after they break apart.  “Jody sent in new reports that I have to go over.”

            Castiel pouts at his mate’s words, though he knows that Dean does have a pack to run, after all.  He’s just not ready to be separated from his mate.  He still feels a little fragile and uncertain.  

            “You can come with me, you know.”  Dean says.  “We’ll just bring some of Mary’s toys down with us.”

            Castiel relaxes.  “That would be nice.”  He agrees.  “I’m sorry I’m like this.”

            Dean cups his chin with a strong hand.  He tilts Castiel’s face so that they’re looking right at each other.  “Hey, Cas, none of that.  I get it, okay?  And I love you.”

            “I love you too.”  Castiel answers.  The words soothe his nerves a bit, enough that he can take a few deep breaths and realize that Dean’s right.  It’s pointless to feel guilty about how he’s feeling.  He can’t help it, and Dean doesn’t mind.  

            They gather the various baby toys and items that they’ll need to keep Mary happy and occupied before heading down to the council chambers.  Dean has a small office, off the larger meeting room, that’s quite snug and cozy once the fire has been started.  Dean settles in at his desk, the flat surface stacked with various reports and pieces of news.  Castiel spreads out a thick blanket on the floor next to Dean and lays Mary on her back.  He hands her one of her favorite soft toys and leans back against Dean’s legs.  

            For a while, the only sounds in the room are the crackle of the fire, the rustling of paper, and the happy coos Mary makes as she plays.  Castiel relaxes, feeling safe and comfortable with his mate and daughter.  A knock at the door ends their quiet solitude.  

            “Dean?”  Adam stands in the doorway, looking uncertain.  Castiel has come to realize that Adam is either uncertain or arrogant - there really doesn’t seem to be an in-between with him.  

            “What’s up?”  
            “Sorry if I’m bothering you.  I was just wondering if there was anything I could be doing.”  Adam says.  He shuffles his feet nervously.  “My pack is telling me that I’m useless and weak, and I don’t know how to show them that I’m not.  And there’s been some issues that you should know about.”

            “Come on in.”  Dean gestures to one of the chairs shoved in the corner of the room.  “Pull up a seat and we’ll talk.”  

            “Okay.”  Adam says.  “Oh, before I forget.  Um, Jo told me to tell you that Jess is in heat and Sam won’t be around.”  He sounds terribly embarrassed.

            Castiel hopes that Gabriel is okay.  He thinks of the worries that his omega brother had about Jess getting pregnant first, and he hopes Gabriel doesn’t feel left out.  

            “What are the issues I should know about?”  Dean asks as Adam takes his seat.  

            Adam sighs.  “The usual, I guess.  There are a few of your pack members who aren’t as welcoming as you are.  I think some of them were friends with your mom.  They’ve been really nasty to my mom.  And then there are the ones who think my pack shouldn’t exist and you should just take us over completely, and they treat us like we’re nothing.”

            Castiel wishes, not for the first time, that Adam would let him hug him.  The poor pup looks like he needs a hug, and he’s carrying a large burden mostly by himself.  He’s suffering from his father’s actions, even though he played no role in what John Winchester did.  And his pack is acting as though they want him to be an alpha, something impossible for the young beta.  

            Castiel just listens as Dean and Adam talk things over.  What strikes Castiel most of all is that Adam just needs a friend.  When the brothers fall silent, Castiel offers an idea.  “Adam, you know that the new pack members have been moved into rooms near yours, right?”  He gets a nod from Adam.  “Well, Kevin has said how he feels alone.  He needs a friend just as badly as you do.”

            “I don’t need a friend, Castiel.  You don’t know anything.”  Adam snaps.  Within seconds, Dean is standing and has grabbed Adam.

            “Don’t you dare speak to my mate that way.”  Dean growls.  Adam attempts to stand up to Dean, but he’s no match for the alpha.  After a moment, he looks away and hangs his head, baring his neck to Dean.

            “Sorry.”  He mutters.  “But it’s not like that is going to solve anything.”

            “Enough.”  Dean says.  “I get that you weren’t raised in a true pack, but that’s not how you treat the Pack Alpha’s mate.”

            “See?  Even you hate my pack.”  Adam shouts.  “You don’t respect me or my pack?”  
            “Respect?”  Dean yells back.  “I let your pack into the castle.  I never once suggested to you that you disband the pack and be absorbed my mine, like most Pack Alphas would.  I don’t hate your pack, Adam.  You need to get over the poor-little-me routine and start actually looking at things differently.”

            Mary bursts into tears, and Castiel isn’t feeling all that far away from crying himself.  He hates hearing Dean yell, even if it’s never directed at him.  He picks Mary up and gently rocks her until she calms down.  Silence hangs heavy in the room, weighing down on all of them.  

            “I suggested you talk to Kevin because he knows what it’s like to feel uncertain about your place in a pack.”  Castiel says softly.  “He’s a refugee who had to hope that Dean would let him be a part of the pack.  I get that your situations are different, but it does help to have someone to talk to.  I don’t know what I would do without Dean to talk to.”

            Adam seems to deflate.  “Sorry, Castiel.  Really.  You’re probably right.  I just don’t get how that’s supposed to solve anything.  I just want someone to tell me I’m doing a good job, and no one is.  I’m failing at keeping my pack happy, and the true Winchester Pack isn’t happy that I’m here.”

            “I am.”  Dean says firmly.  “And stop listening to the negatives.  There are plenty of people who want you here.  Yes, there are some who won’t like your mother.  They also hated my father for what he did to my mom.  You can’t please everyone.  If your pack as a problem, tell them that they can talk to me.  I’ll sort things out the best I can.  That’s the whole reason I spend several days a week listening to pack complaints and issues.  I want to fix these things, but I can’t if no one is willing to talk to me.”

            Adam sighs.  “You’re right, and I’ll try to convince my pack of that.  It’s just, they want me to be John, and that’s not who I want to be.”

            Castiel is surprised at the understanding he feels through his bond with Dean.  His mate doesn’t smell upset at Adam’s words at all.  There’s still so much he doesn’t know about Dean’s father, but the more he learns, the sadder he is for Dean.  And Adam and Sam, of course.

            “Me either.”  Dean says.  He and Adam stare at each other for a moment.  “My father wasn’t a bad Pack Alpha, but he wasn’t a good one either.  I’m doing my best to be different from him.”

            “You are.”  Adam says, and Castiel knows those words mean more to Dean than his mate will ever let on.  Adam stands.  “I’m going to go talk to my pack.  I’ve been trying to pass off all the fault onto your pack, and the responsibility onto you, and I need to step up.  Thanks, Dean.  Castiel.”

            The door shuts behind Adam, and Dean immediately joins Castiel on the floor.  Castiel snuggles against his mate.  “You okay?”  
            “I hate fighting with him.”  Dean says.  He takes Mary from Castiel and lifts her in the air, making her giggle.  It’s a welcome sound after the tense conversation.  “He’s family, you know?”

            “I think you got through to him.”  Castiel says.  “And Dean?  I know you’re a good person.  I know that I didn’t know either of your parents, but from what you’ve told me, I think you’re following in your mother’s footsteps.”

            There’s a pause, and then a soft sob.  Castiel almost can’t believe that his mate is crying, but he is.  Castiel leans in closer, pressing a kiss to Dean’s cheek.  “You are a good man, Dean.  I know that better than anyone.”

            “Thanks, Cas.”  Dean smiles at him, wiping away the tears.  “That means a lot.  I love you. A lot.  Did you know that?”  
            Castiel nuzzles against Dean’s chest.  “I did.  I love you too.”

            Sweet moment or not, they’re interrupted almost as soon as the words are out of Castiel’s mouth.  Benny pokes his head in.  “The messenger you sent to Crowley is back.”

            Dean stares at Benny.  “Already?  It should have taken another two days, at least.”

            “Apparently not.”  Benny says.  “The messenger says Crowley told him it was urgent to get the information back to you as quickly as possible.  The poor thing is exhausted.  I sent him with Ellen.  Here’s the letter from Crowley.”

            “That doesn’t sound good.”  Dean hands Mary back to Castiel before standing and getting the sealed letter from Benny.  He sits at his desk and opens it, several pages falling free as he does so.  Castiel hovers behind him, anxious to know what the letter might say and at the same time scared of its contents.  He’s not sure if he’s emotionally stable enough right now to deal with bad news.  His instincts are still telling him that curling up in bed with his alpha would be a much better idea, but he knows this is important.  

            Dean reads through the letter quickly, then starts reading it over again.  He’s about to read through it for a third time when Castiel’s patience finally wears thin.  “What does it say?”

            “A lot.”  Dean says.  He turns around, and Castiel is surprised to see that there are tears in his eyes again.  “Cas, baby, I’m never going to let anything bad happen to you again.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to get this chapter out because I'm going to be pretty busy the next couple of weeks. So you'll have to wait to find out what Crowley says! The plot will definitely start picking up soon - I'm not sure how many more chapters there will be, but I think it's nearing the end. Maybe. I thought that a while back too, so who knows.


	29. Chapter 29

            Dean wants to cry.  He wants to yell and scream.  He’s this close to attacking the Novak pack, consequences be damned.  He drops the letter back on his desk and turns to wrap Cas in a tight hug, Mary safe between them.  He breathes in the scent of his mate, trying to calm himself.  But Cas’s scent is tinged with worry, and Mary’s sweet, milky baby scent has turned sour, sensing the concerns of her parents.  

            “I love you.”  Dean manages to say before starting to cry.  He holds on tightly to his mate and child, wishing that he could just make all the bad things go away.  

            “Dean, what’s wrong?  What does the letter say?”  Cas’s voice is frantic.  Dean immediately feels a spike of guilt, and he reluctantly pulls away from his mate.  He takes Mary from Cas and hands him the letter instead, unable to speak yet.  The horrors his mate has gone through are listed in ugly detail within the letter.  But it’s worse than that.

            Mary pats his cheeks, her hands getting wet with his tears.  Dean cradles her close to his body, trying to soak up her love and trust.  He needs it, if he’s ever going to talk about what’s in the letter.  If he’s going to be able to support Cas.  

            Cas.  His perfect, wonderful, beautiful mate.  Dean can’t stand the fact that Cas was hurt and abused for so many years.  All this time that he was blissfully unaware of the existence of his mate, let alone the suffering he was going through.  And while he can admit that it’s not like he was in any position to know about what was going on in another pack, it still burns him.  

            Cas lets the letter fall to the floor, his eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears.  But there’s an anger in his scent that Dean hadn’t expected.  Not with such intensity, at least.  

            “Is this Crowley someone we can trust?”  Cas asks, his voice surprisingly steady for all the emotions Dean can tell he’s feeling.  

            “Yes.”  Dean says simply, and Cas falls apart.  He sinks to the ground, sobs racking his body.  Dean joins him, pulling Cas so his mate is crying into his chest.  Dean wishes he had never shown Cas the letter, but that wouldn’t have been fair to his mate.  Cas deserves to know what’s happening.  Dean promised him as much.

            There’s a knock on the door.  As much as Dean wants to shut out the entire world and just focus on Cas, it’s not an option he has right now.  Besides, he smells Bobby’s familiar, smokey scent and knows that the alpha is someone he needs right now.

            “Benny told me the letter from Crowley returned.”  Bobby says as he walks in, before stopping dead in the doorway.  “Shit, what happened?”

            Dean gestures for him to join them on the floor.  He needs the strength and knowledge Bobby provides right now.  Bobby sits down, hesitating a moment before taking Mary out of Dean’s arms and soothing her.  

            “It’s alright, little one.”  He says, his voice more husky than soft, but calming all the same.  Mary is surprised by the change in scent and falls silent before finally settling in his arms.  “Okay.  Now tell me what’s going on.”

            “You can read the letter, but none of it is pretty.”  Dean says quietly.  Cas looks up, wiping the tears from his face.

            “The Novak pack has been abusing, torturing, and killing omegas for years.”  He says bluntly.  “Raphael has brought that to his new pack.  I do know Raphael.  I just didn’t know his name.  He was the one in charge of punishing the omegas for anything we did wrong.  Or if he just felt like it.”  Cas swallows and reaches down to hold Dean’s hand.  “I mean, the others would hurt us too, but he was the worst.”

            “How do you know for certain?”  Bobby asks.  “I don’t mean to be harsh, but how can you know this is the same person if you didn’t even know his name?”  
            “Raphael was a beta until he killed the old alpha of the neighboring pack.”  Cas says.  “The man who beat us - he was a beta.  It’s why he was so angry.  He wanted the power to be passed down through him, but it never could.  He’d have to kill a Pack Alpha for that to happen, and he wasn’t stronger than Michael.  He’d have to have found another pack that he could kill the Pack Alpha there.”

            “Crowley confirmed it.”  Dean adds quietly.  “His letter says that Raphael was the mastermind behind the systematic oppression of omegas in the Novak pack.”

            Cas looks up, straight at Bobby.  “They killed two of my omega-siblings after they returned from the mating ceremony.  Crowley thinks it was an act of retaliation against this pack saving me and Gabe.”

            “Shit.”  Bobby says.  He shakes his head.  “We’ve got to tread carefully here.  Any wrong step and we could be looking at a bloodbath.”

            His words are blunt, and part of Dean wants to shield Cas from them.  He doesn’t want Cas to think that one wrong move will spell certain death for the omegas he grew up with, even if that may be the case.  

            “So what do we do?”  Cas asks.  He twists to look at Dean, and Dean’s heart breaks at the expression of helplessness on his mate’s face.  “Is there anything?”

            “We don’t have grounds for starting a war.”  Dean says.  “I can’t put my pack in danger like that.  I’m sorry, Cas.”  
            “Don’t be.”  Cas says.  “I don’t want you to put them in danger.  This is my family.  I just wish we could help the omegas in the Novak pack and in Raphael’s pack.  I’m scared for them.  You don’t know what it’s like to see one of the only people who cares about you beaten so badly you almost wished they would die, so they wouldn’t hurt anymore.”  His voice cracks, but he keeps going.  “I escaped that hell, Dean, but what about the others?”

            “We will take in any refugees we can.”  Dean says.  That, at least, he can do.  “Crowley outlined a deal for a stronger treaty between our packs.  I think we should do it.  We need the support, if this does end up in a fight.”

            “The devil we know.”  Bobby mutters, but he nods in agreement.  “I want to read the letter and see if there’s anything else we can do.  If Raphael is power-hungry, there is the chance he’ll try encroaching on our borders.  We’ve already got soldiers at the border between our pack and his.  If anything happens, we’ll know.  We have to make sure he knows that we mean business in keeping what’s ours, at the very least.  Other than that, I would say, wait for Sam to be free and get his opinion.”

            Cas silently picks the letter up from where it had fallen and hands it to Bobby.  His face goes pale within moments of starting to read.  Dean knows what he’s reading, what he’s picturing.  Crowley had spared no details when it came to describing what went on in the Novak pack.  The abuse that Cas had disclosed to him seemed to only be a part of what really happened to him.  Dean doesn’t know what to think.  Part of him understands that Cas wanted to move on from the abuse and hurt, but it pains him to think that maybe Cas felt he wasn’t the right person to talk to about it.

            “I want to burn the Novak Alpha alive.”  Bobby growls when he finishes with the letter, several minutes later.  “And then I’m ripping Raphael’s throat out, along with everyone else’s who participated in this.”

            “You and me both.”  Dean says.  

            “And me.”  Cas says in a soft but steely voice.  There’s no mistaking the utter determination in his words.  It makes Dean proud of his mate and sad that Cas has to deal with this.  He wanted to take away Cas’s past, not shove it in his face like he did with this letter.

            There’s probably more they could talk about, but Dean senses that Cas is starting to hit the end of his rope on being able to process everything.  He quietly makes their excuses, promising Bobby they’ll catch up soon.  Bobby hands Mary back to Cas.

            “We’ll get through this.”  Bobby promises Cas, patting him on the shoulder.  It’s a reassuring, fatherly thing to do, and Dean can see the comfort it brings Cas.  His mate, who was denied even the basics of having parents who cared for him.  

            They walk in silence back to their room.  There’s too much to say and not nearly enough words to say it all.  Dean doesn’t know how to break the silence.  He feels like he’s failing his mate.  There are no words of comfort that can dampen the pain Cas is feeling.  

            Mary starts fussing as they turn down the hallway to their room.  It’s almost a relief, to have something to do.  Dean sends for a bottle as Cas changes her, and they settle in front of the fireplace with all of their focus on their daughter.

            It’s only when Mary falls asleep, her soft little snores the only sound in the room, that Dean decides it’s time to talk.  He sets Mary in her cradle and covers her with a thick blanket before returning to Cas.  His mate looks tired, worn out.  He’s got that awful scent of fear and anger and hopelessness that he had when they first mated and something would scare him.  It’s the scent of his old pack, and it breaks Dean’s heart every time he smells it.

            “Cas.”  Dean says, feeling helpless.  “What can I do?”

            Cas gives him a soft, sad smile.  “Hold me?”  He asks, and the simplicity of the request doesn’t feel like enough to Dean.  But he does as his mate asked, situating them so Cas is in his lap and wrapped up in his arms.  Cas scents him, breathing deeply against Dean’s neck.  

            “I’m sorry.”  Dean says after several minutes of silence.  “I’m sorry that your past keeps trying to drag you back.  I wish I could just make everything better.  But I don’t know how, Cas.”  His voice breaks, he realizes, but it doesn’t matter.  He’s already cried today.  What are a few more tears?  “I don’t know how.”  
            “Promise me that we’ll get through this together.”  Cas says.  “Please?”  
            “Of course, Cas.  I promise.”  Dean tightens his hold on his mate.  “You’re safe here, and I’m going to do everything in my power to help the omegas in your old pack and in Raphael’s pack.”  
            “I don’t want anything bad happening to this pack.”  Cas says.  “Bobby’s right, Dean.  This is the pack you have to think about first.  I want our pack to stay safe.”

            Dean didn’t know it was possible to love his mate even more than he already did, but his heart swells at Cas’s words.  He knows how hard that must be for Cas to say.  It means the world to him, and he tells Cas as much.  “I want that too, Cas.  I just want you to feel safe here.”

            Cas twists in his arms, pulling away from his neck to look up at Dean.  “I do feel safe here.”  He says with some surprise in his voice.  “This pack has welcomed me and made me feel like I have a whole big family who loves and protects me.”

            Dean smiles at that, his first real smile since getting the letter from Crowley.  “Good.”  He says softly.  “I’m glad.”

            Cas snuggles back into Dean’s arms.  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you everything that they used to do to me.  To all of us omegas.”

            “Don’t be.”  Dean says, his voice fierce.  “Cas, you have nothing to be sorry for.  I get that there’s things that are too painful to talk about.”

            “Yeah.”  Cas says.  “But still.  I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t know how.  To be honest, I still don’t know.”

            “That’s okay.”  Dean promises.  “I’m here if you need to talk.”

            “Good.”  Cas turns and kisses Dean.  It’s short and chaste, but conveys all the feeling in the world.  Dean laces his fingers through Cas’s and holds tight.  He knows that, somehow, they’ll get through this.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter made sense! Let me know what you think!


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick word of warning - this has a flashback to Castiel's life before Dean, and it's pretty rough.

        Castiel knows he needs to get up.  He can hear Mary starting to cry, a signal that she’s hungry.  He should get up and feed her.  Somehow, though, he can’t translate those thoughts into actual movements.  Every inch of his body aches, his head is pounding, and even his heart seems to hurt.  All he wants to do is pull the covers up over his head and not surface until he feels better.  

        There’s movement on the other side of the bed before Dean’s reassuring presence is gone.  Castiel listens to Dean’s footsteps as he moves around the room, getting Mary’s bottle and picking their daughter out of her cradle.  Guilt spikes through Castiel.  He should have gotten out of bed to take care of Mary.  He’s the omega.  The only things he’s good for are being bred and taking care of babies.

        The sudden appearance of such an ugly thought made Castiel freeze.  Where had that come from?  He hadn’t thought that way in a long time, not since he realized Dean was a good alpha - a good person.  But the thought stays, twisting through his mind until Castiel is convinced he’s just proven to Dean how worthless he is as a mate.  Dean will punish him, surely.  It’s just a matter of time.

        Castiel is aware of how bitter and scared his scent has turned, but there’s nothing he can do about it.  Besides, the alphas in his old pack used to say how much they loved the scent of omega fear.  Maybe all alphas are like that.

        No, not maybe.  They are.  Castiel can hear their voices, hear their laughter.  

        “ _Little omega bitch.”  The man with the whip says.  The heel of his foot digs into Castiel’s back, pushing him against the ground and making it impossible to move.  “I’ll teach you to talk back.”  The foot disappears, and Castiel tries to crawl away.  “Stay.”  The man orders.  “Like a good little bitch.”_

_There’s the crack of the whip as it rushes through the air and hits skin.  Castiel lets out a sob, and above him he hears the man sigh in fake disappointment._

        “ _Too bad, omega.  You were supposed to stay quiet.”  The end of the whip is dragged down his back, the fresh welts and cuts stinging under the movement.  “Guess I’ll have to keep trying until you get the message.”_

_Castiel can’t stop himself from whimpering.  There’s another crack, and another, and another, until Castiel isn’t sure how many times he’s been whipped.  He can’t hear anything beyond the crack of the whip and the cruel voice of the beta.  He’s close to passing out._

        “ _No!”  That’s Gabe’s voice, high with panic.  “Stop it!  He can’t take any more.”_

        “ _Wait your turn, bitch.”  The man says.  “I’ll. Stop. When. He. Shuts. Up.”  Each word is punctuated by another whip.  Castiel feels lightheaded.  He knows he has to stop making noise, but it’s beyond his control now.  The pain has taken over._

_Finally, finally, the beta stops whipping him.  Castiel can feel the blood dripping down his back and he wants to throw up._

        “ _Has the little slut learned his lesson yet?”  That’s Alpha’s voice.  Castiel knows he’s in big trouble now.  Alpha likes to hand out his own punishments too, not just let one of his betas take care of things.  And Alpha’s punishments hurt._

        “ _Alpha, please.”  Castiel begs.  He doesn’t want to hurt anymore.  Part of him would be okay if he just closed his eyes and never opened them again, but he couldn’t do that to Gabe._

        “ _I guess not.”  Alpha says.  He steps closer, kneeling down close enough that Castiel can feel his body heat.  There’s a sudden burst of pain, his vision going white, as Alpha rakes his nails down Castiel’s back, ripping open the cuts left by the whip.  There’s a high pitched scream that Castiel only vaguely recognizes as his own._

        “ _Smell that?”  The beta says._

        “ _Omega fear.”  Alpha replies.  “Nothing sweeter.”  There’s laughter from above._

        “ _Please stop.”  Gabriel begs.  “He’ll be good.  I promise.”_

        “ _Hear that?”  Alpha asks, his voice mocking.  “The troublemaker thinks he can make another omega bitch behave.  That’s a good one.”  He stands, walking over to where Castiel knows Gabriel has been restrained.  “Let him go.  I’m going to teach both of them a lesson.”_

_There’s muffled noises as Gabe is untied.  Castiel can’t move.  He’s breathing in dust from the ground, the smell of his blood overpowering anything else.  He doesn’t see the struggle behind him, but he hears it.  Gabriel is crying and protesting - begging for Alpha to stop.  But Alpha doesn’t listen to anyone, especially not omegas._

        “ _Whip him.”  Alpha orders, using his Alpha voice, the one that no omega can disobey.  Gabriel chokes out a sob._

        “ _Cas, I’m sorry.”  He says.  “I’m so sorry.”_

        “ _Now!”  Alpha yells.  “Hard.”  And the whip cracks again, unleashing a new level of pain._

_Castiel doesn’t know how long Alpha makes Gabriel whip him.  He’s lost track of most everything, inching closer and closer to passing out.  He’s lightheaded from the blood loss._

        “ _Stop.”  Alpha says.  The whip drops to the ground next to Castiel.  “Come here, bitch.  It’s time you learned how to use that smart mouth the right way.”_

_Castiel wants to cry out.  He knows what Alpha is going to make Gabriel do, and that pains him almost as much as his back does.  But he can’t talk, can’t move, can’t do anything but lie in a heap on the ground._

        “Cas?  Cas?”  Dean’s voice is worried, almost frantic, like he’s been trying to get Castiel’s attention for a while now.  Castiel feels like he’s moving through molasses as he tries to sit up and focus on Dean.  He’s resigned to the fact that Dean will be angry with him.  He’s useless.

        He doesn’t have the energy to respond to Dean.  The alpha probably isn’t even looking for an answer.  Alphas don’t like it when you talk back to them.  Castiel knows that.  So he stays quiet.  He’s vaguely aware of Dean trying to get his attention, but he can’t bring himself to react.  

        Dean walks away.  That’s good, Castiel thinks.  Maybe he won’t get hurt.  He hears Dean open the door, hears low voices discuss something before the door is closed again and Dean is once again approaching.

        Castiel doesn’t mean to flinch when Dean’s hand gets too close to his face.  Dean drops his hand immediately, backing up.  Castiel wonders if this is some cruel trick, if he’s going to pretend that he won’t hurt him so it’s worse when he does.  He braces himself for a blow, but it doesn’t come.

        Time passes.  Castiel isn’t sure if it’s been two minutes or twenty.  There’s a knock at the door.  He doesn’t care.  He hears Dean open the door again.  Listens as more voices talk.  

        “Do something.”  That’s Dean, Castiel thinks.  Who is doing what?  He feels like he’s floating somewhere above all of this.  

        “Castiel?  Where are you?”

        That’s a strange question, Castiel thinks, but maybe not.  He’s not entirely sure where he is.  Part of him feels like he’s not even in his body, that the day is just unfolding around him as he watches, unable to interact.  Then he realizes that Dean wasn’t the one to ask the question.  

        “Castiel Winchester, you answer me right now.”  The voice says, this time much firmer.  He hears Dean too, protesting about something.  Maybe he wants to be the one to punish Castiel.  That would make sense.

        “Cas, baby, please answer us.”  There’s Dean’s voice.  He’s pleading.  Why does he sound so upset?

        There’s movement, and suddenly Castiel feels Dean’s hand on his.  His whole body tenses in anticipation for a blow, but again nothing happens.  Dean just holds Castiel’s hand.

        “I need you to listen to me.”  Dean says.  “I love you, Castiel, and I will never hurt you.  You’re having some bad memories of what happened to you in your old pack.  But you’re safe here.  You’re safe, and I love you.”

        Dean loves him.  It hits Castiel like a brick, and he’s confused.  Why did he ever doubt that in the first place?  He’s not sure why these awful thoughts are swirling around in his head, but he doesn’t know how to make them stop.

        “Cas, can you scent me?”  Dean asks.  Castiel blinks a few times, trying to process the request.  He moves slowly towards Dean, still a bit scared.  Nothing makes sense right now.  But he does as Dean asks, inhaling the familiar scent of his mate.  

        Time seems to hold still for a long moment before rushing back into place.  Castiel collapses back onto the pillows, exhausted.  He’s in his bedroom, with his mate and his pup and - Missouri?  That must have been who Dean called.  

        “Dean.”  Castiel says.  He starts to cry.  “Dean, I don’t - I don’t know what happened.  I’m sorry.”

        Dean looks relieved.  “No, Cas, don’t be sorry.  I’m just glad you’re back here with me.”  He reaches out, tentatively, like he’s afraid Castiel will shy away from him again, and Castiel is flooded with guilt.  He scared his mate.  The thing is, he doesn’t know why those thoughts suddenly came into his head or why he felt the way he did.  

        “Castiel?  Can you tell me what you were thinking?”  Missouri asks.  

        Castiel doesn’t want to admit what his thoughts had turned to, but Dean’s holding his hand and Missouri is looking at him with concern, not pity.  “I thought I was back at my old pack.  The beta - Raphael - he would hurt us.  He hurt us so badly.  They left me for dead.  And Gabe - how could they do that to him?”  The tears start to fall harder.  “What’s wrong with me?  Why does this keep happening?”

        Missouri sighs.  “You went through a lot in your old pack, right?  It’s not easy leaving our past behind, even when we want to.”

        “The alphas in my old pack, they liked the scent of omega fear.”  Castiel says.  He suddenly feels the need to get everything out.  “They said that omegas were only good for breeding and caring for pups.  I couldn’t - I didn’t - Mary started crying, and I didn’t get up to get her.  I couldn’t move.  I’m a bad omega.”  

        “No, you aren’t.”  Dean says firmly.  He cups Castiel’s chin in one hand, tilting his face upwards so they are looking eye to eye.  “Cas, baby, you’ve heard a lot of bad news recently.  It’s okay that you’re upset about it.  And Mary is our pup, right?  That means both of us have the responsibility to take care of her.  Not just you.”  He captures Castiel’s lips in a soft, chaste kiss that somehow says even more.  Castiel starts to feel safer and more like himself.  Now that he knows where he is and who he’s with, he’s starting to feel better.  

        “I still don’t like feeling that way.”  Castiel admits quietly.  

        “That’s understandable.”  Missouri reassures him.  “And, with time, this will happen less and less.  Your mind just needs more time to heal than your body did.  Okay?”

        Castiel nods.  Missouri tells him to eat a good breakfast and rest before leaving.  Once she’s gone, Dean climbs back into bed with Mary in his arms.  She reaches out for Castiel, her little nose scrunched up like she’s trying to figure out what just happened.

        “Hi, sweetheart.”  Castiel says, taking her from Dean and inhaling her sweet baby scent.  She leans into him, pressing her tiny face against his.  It’s unbelievably sweet.  Castiel strokes the fine wisps of hair on her head and listens to her heartbeat.  

        “Cas?”  Dean asks after a few minutes.  Castiel looks up, a bit surprised to see how nervous his mate looks.  Maybe nervous isn’t quite the right word, Castiel thinks.  Apprehensive.  “You know I’ll always love you, no matter what, right?”  He takes a deep breath.  “I want you to feel happy and safe and loved.”

        Castiel smiles.  He’s used to Dean’s difficulty fully expressing himself, but when he does it’s so special that it more than makes up for the other times.  “Thanks, Dean.”  He says quietly.  Dean had somehow picked a thought out of the back of his head, a nasty thought that asked what if Dean decided Castiel was too much to deal with, and silenced it with a simple promise.

        Still, Castiel isn’t feeling entirely back to normal.  He’s still feeling haunted by memories of his past - memories that he wishes would just go away and never return.  There’s a part of him that wonders if he’s broken, if he’s fit to be a mate and a parent if his mind keeps going these places.  But Mary, in the way only small pups can do and still be cute, lets out a tiny burp and giggles at the noise.  It brings Castiel’s attention back to her and to Dean.  Mary is their tiny miracle, a pup that shouldn’t have survived the journey it took to get here.  Somehow, Castiel and Dean were meant to be her parents.  The thought is enough to quiet the others, at least for the time being.

        “What’s going to happen?”  Castiel asks after several minutes of silence.  Dean’s hand, which had been stroking Castiel’s arm, pauses.  

        “About what?”  He asks.

        “I don’t know.  Everything.”  Castiel says.  He takes a deep breath.  “I mean, not everything.  What happens if this keeps happening to me?”

        “I’ll be by your side if this happens again.”  Dean promises.  “We’ll get through it together.  I’ll be here to remind you that you’re safe and with me and Mary.  Okay?”

        It’s not the perfectly reassuring answer Castiel wants, but it’s honest.  He can appreciate that.  Dean can’t promise that this will never happen again, but the promise he made is almost as good.  “Okay.”  He says.  He looks down at Mary.  Her big blue eyes stare up at him, trusting and unaware of the turmoil her father feels.  

        Dean kisses Castiel’s forehead.  “It’s okay, Cas.  Things will work out.  You have to believe that.”    Castiel nods, feeling a bit choked up.  He snuggles up against Dean.  Mary is laying against his chest, her head resting just above his heart.  

        Castiel isn’t ready to face the world yet.  He’s still struggling to figure out where he is and prove to himself that this is real, that Dean and Mary are real and he’s with them and not back in his old pack.  So he focuses on the soft puffs of Mary’s breath against his skin and the reassuring warmth of his mate.  It’s all that’s holding him together right now.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the rough chapter - this one was really hard to write, but it needed to be part of the story. Cas is really haunted by his past, and I wanted to show one of the reasons why. What happened to Gabriel will be explored more in the sequel to this fic. As for Cas, I tried my best to write PTSD as I experience it. Flashbacks are terrifying, and I hope I did them justice. Thanks for making it through the chapter, and I promise lighter topics are coming up.


	31. Chapter 31

          A few days have passed since that horrible morning, but Dean knows his mate is still haunted by it.  He does his best to reassure Cas that everything will be okay.  It’s hard, though, especially when there are so many uncertain things right now.  Dean wishes Gabriel was around to help make Cas feel better, but neither he nor Jess has made an appearance recently.  Dean doesn’t know which of them went into heat, and he’s not about to ask, either.  He wants to talk things over with Sam, too, but again that’s something that’s going to have to wait.

          So Dean does what he can.  It’s after lunch, and he’s meeting with his advisors to start discussing what they should do about Crowley’s letter.  Cas is sitting next to Dean, having refused to let him out of his sight for the past few days.  Mary is bundled into the sling Cas is wearing, and Cas himself is wrapped in a thick fur.  It’s a particularly cold day, and Dean wishes that Cas would have felt comfortable enough staying in the warmth of their room.  Still, part of him is glad to have his mate so close.  It hurts, knowing that there’s something that scares his mate that he can do nothing about.  Having Cas near him at least reassures Dean that he’ll be there if Cas needs him.

          Benny and Rufus have already taken their seats.  Jody has arrived as well, fresh from a journey from where she lives.  There are several pack elders present, alphas and betas who had once advised his father.  Adam is sitting next to Cas, more focused on Mary than he is on the others in the room.  

          The room falls into silence as Dean starts speaking, explaining why they’ve gathered.  He tries to stay as neutral as possible, but it’s hard.  He wants to shout that this is the man who hurt his mate, but that’s not going to help.  The whole reason he has all these people gathered is to make sure he’s making the best decision for the pack.  

          Dean’s scared that he’ll send Cas back into that terrifying state when he starts telling the others what Raphael had done to Cas and the other omegas.  He holds Cas’s hand tightly throughout the conversation, and he’s thankful to see that Adam is holding Cas’s other hand.  It’s not like have Gabriel there for Cas, but it’s a decent substitution.

          There’s a collective scent of anger in the room as Dean finishes.  He waits for someone to speak.  When no one does, he turns to Bobby.

          “Is there anything I missed?”  He asks the older alpha.  

          Bobby thinks for a moment before speaking.  “Our pack has had a history of helping others out.  Some of you think that makes us weak.  It doesn’t.”  He says, sending a sharp glare at several of John’s old advisors.  “Keep that in mind.”

          “Crowley has offered us terms for a stronger treaty.  Bobby and I have both reviewed it, and feel that we should go for it.”  Dean says.  That gets everyone’s attention, just like Dean thought it would.  He waits for the room’s occupants to settle down before he continues speaking.  “I know our history with Crowley has been rocky.  But we need an ally if anything happens with Raphael, and our information says that something will happen.”

          Next to him, Cas lets out a tiny squeak, and his hand trembles in Dean’s.  There’s nothing more than Dean can do but to give Cas’s hand what he hopes is a reassuring squeeze.

          The discussions over whether or not to sign a new treaty last several hours.  Mary wakes at some point, crying for food, and Dean is grateful when Adam quietly offers to get her a bottle and feed her so Cas can stay with Dean.  Finally, though, after long conversations and many arguments, the decision is made.  They will sign the treaty, pending Sam’s approval.

          Dean doesn’t know whether to feel relieved or worried.  It’s good to know he’ll have an ally, one who already has spies within Raphael’s pack.  But he knows that Crowley looks out for his own best interests, and that he’ll have to move ahead carefully.  

          The advisors file out of the room after they finish, soon leaving only Dean, Cas, and Mary.  Adam hovers in the doorway, looking uncertain.  

          “Cas?”  He says quietly.  

          Cas looks up, and for the first time that day Dean realizes that there are tears running down Cas’s cheeks.  He feels a rush of guilt for not noticing sooner.  

          “Yes, Adam?”  Cas says.

          “I’m sorry.  For what happened to you, I mean.”

          Cas smiles, though there’s pain clearly etched on his face.  “Thank you.”  He whispers.  Adam nods and leaves quickly, leaving Dean alone with his mate.

          “I’m sorry you had to go through that again.”  Dean says.  He pulls Cas into a tight hug, holding him close.  

          “Can we have dinner sent to our room tonight?”  Cas asks.  “I don’t think I can deal with all the noise.”

          “Of course.”  Dean reassures him.  He takes Mary from Cas, settling her on his hip as they walk towards their room.  Mary babbles happily, unaware of how tired both her parents are.  It’s a welcome distraction, and Dean makes his daughter giggle by making nonsense noises back at her.  Cas smiles at that, his eyes finally lighting up.

          “That was hard.”  Cas says when they’ve shut the door between themselves and the rest of the world.  He sits on the bed and starts pulling off his shoes while Dean changes Mary.  

          “I know.”  Dean says, before realizing that’s possibly the worst thing to say.  “I mean, actually I don’t know.  I can only imagine how much that sucked, and I’m sorry.  Fuck, Cas, all I want is for you to be able to put your past behind you and I’m not even able to give you that.”

          Silence meets his little outburst, and Dean wonders if he’s said too much.  He picks Mary back up and looks over towards the bed.  Cas is staring at him in wonder, his bright eyes shining.  

          “You are a good man.”  Cas tells him.  It’s not the first time he’s said those words, but each time Dean hears them there’s a burst of love and contentment in his heart.  “I don’t know what to say, though.  I want that too.  More than anything.”  Cas takes a deep breath.  “I don’t want Mary to grow up with a father who’s always afraid.”  He admits.

          Dean crosses the room to sit next to Cas on the bed.  Mary reaches out for Cas, her arms finally starting to have some baby fat on them.  Cas takes her and nuzzles against her wisps of hair.  

          “Mary is going to grow up with a father who loves her more than anything, who saved her and took her in and gave her everything he didn’t have as a pup.”  Dean says.  “You are going to teach her what it means to be strong even when you’re scared, and that’s more important than I can explain.”

          Cas looks at him.  “Really?  You really think so?”

          “That, Cas, I do know.”  Dean replies.

 

* * *

  
  


          Dean wakes up early the following day, just the faintest bits of light coming through the window.  Cas has buried himself beneath several blankets, the only part of him visible a few tufts of hair.  Dean gets out of bed slowly, not wanting to wake his mate.  Mary is asleep in her cradle, still content from her middle of the night feeding.  Dean knows he only has a little while before she wakes up again.  

          The fire is low when Dean goes to sit in front of it, so he adds some more wood.  For a moment he watches as the flames dance.  He’s reminded of the night he was officially recognized as Pack Alpha.  The night he claimed Cas.  The bonfires that night had cast shadows on the omegas lined up before him, making it hard to see their faces.  Dean had smelled his mate, but he couldn’t tell which of the many omegas the scent was coming from.  It had been painful waiting, knowing that his mate was so close and having to wait for the ceremony to be over to be able to go find him.

          It’s only been a few months since that night, and Dean marvels at how much his life has changed.  He has a mate now, and a child.  His life feels much more complete than it did before.  It’s also a lot scary.  He has more responsibility now.  He’s had to learn how to balance family and pack, and it’s a lot harder than he ever thought it would be.  All he wants is to make sure Cas is safe, but putting his own pack at risk in order to accomplish that is something he’s not willing to do.  It’s something he’s struggling with a lot.

          Dean really wants to talk to his brother.  Sam’s always been wiser beyond his age, having grown up shadowing Dean instead of playing like a normal pup.  Although Dean would never admit it outloud, he likes being able to turn to his little brother for advice.  Sam’s always willing to help him work through a problem, and the situation he’s facing now is definitely a problem.

          Dean knows that he really needs to find out more about Raphael, past what Crowley and Cas have told him.  It’s obvious the man is cruel, but he must have some charisma if he was able to keep the pack from rebelling when he killed the old Pack Alpha.  

          It’s something he’s going to have to investigate, going forward.  He’s just not sure how yet.

          His thoughts are interrupted by a soft cry.  Mary is awake.  Dean quickly picks her up and soothes her, not wanting to wake Cas just yet.  His mate doesn’t even move, showing no indication that he heard Mary.  Dean changes her and dresses her for the day in one of the beautiful outfits from Jess.  Mary scrunches her nose at him as he dresses her and waves her hands around wildly, making it difficult to actually get her into the outfit.  

          Once she’s dressed, Dean takes her over to the rug in front of the fireplace and sets her on her tummy.  He lays down across from her so they’re face to face.  He keeps her happy by making funny faces, which works until she reaches out and grabs a handful of his hair and tugs.  

          “Ow.”  Dean says, untangling Mary’s fingers from his hair.  “What are you doing?”  He scoops Mary up, tickling her until she’s giggling.  “You’re a little troublemaker, aren’t you?”

          “I like watching you two.”  Cas says, and Dean hadn’t even realized his mate was awake.  Cas has a fond smile on his face as he takes in Dean and Mary.  “It makes me happy.”

          Dean swings Mary up on his hip and carries her over so they can both give Cas a good morning kiss.  Well, he gives Cas a kiss, and Mary attempts to pull his hair again.  “Morning, beautiful.”

          “Good morning.”  Cas replies.  

          “Feeling any better?”

          “Yes, actually.”  Cas says.

          Dean smiles.  “Good.”  He leans in and kisses the tip of Cas’s nose, making his mate laugh.  

          Cas feels good enough to have breakfast with the rest of the pack, and they head downstairs a while later.  Both Dean and Cas are happy to see Sam, Jess, and Gabriel at breakfast.  Cas immediately draws Gabriel off to the side, the two omegas talking quietly.  

          “What’d I miss?”  Sam asked as they sat down at the table.

          “A lot, actually.”  Dean says.  “There’s a letter from Crowley you need to read, but Bobby and the rest of the advisors have agreed with me that the terms for the new treaty are ones we should agree to.  And there’s some stuff in the letter that’s going to hit Gabriel pretty bad.”

          Sam grimaces.  “I’ll take a look after we eat.”  He promises.  He sighs.  “Nothing like being thrown back into the real world.”

          “Please.”  Jess says.  “You’ve been complaining for the past day that you were going crazy.”

          “Oh?”  Dean teases his brother.  “Whatever happened to your theory that heats were valuable times to learn about your mate?”  

          Sam makes a face.  “You try one mate’s heat trigger the other’s heat, and then talk to me.”  He says.  “No offense, Jess, but I’m never going to recover.”

          “More than I needed to know.”  Dean says.

          Jess rolls her eyes.  “You’ve got a couple months.”  She reminds Sam.  “Better get used to it.”

          “Okay, no more about my little brother’s sex life.”  Dean announces.  

          “You sure?”  Gabriel asks, coming over to the table.  He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.  “I’ve got stories.”

          “And I don’t want to hear them.”  Dean pleads.  

          Jess is thankfully merciful, and changes the subject by offering to feed Mary her morning bottle.  Dean passes Mary to her, and the pup settles happily in her aunt’s arms.  

          Although there’s undoubtedly going to be tears and anger later, when Sam reads the letter, for the moment Dean is content to enjoy a bit of normal pack life.  He decides he’s going to relish every moment of it he gets, because it’s a good balance against the pain that running a pack can cause.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! The last chapter took a lot out of me, and I just wasn't feeling inspired for this one until recently. Hope you like it!


	32. Chapter 32

         “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”  Gabriel screams.  His scent is furious, anger pulsing outwards.  Castiel does his best not to flinch.  He thinks he fails.

         “You were in heat.”  He says back.  “I wasn’t about to interrupt you.”

         “And this morning?”  Gabriel challenges.  “What about then?”

         “You looked happy.  I didn’t want to ruin it so quickly.”  Castiel says.  He sighs.  “I’m sorry, Gabe.  I didn’t mean to keep anything from you.  I just thought I’d let you be happy a little while longer.”

         There’s a long pause, long enough that Castiel is starting to wonder if he’s better off just leaving Gabriel alone to cool off.  Gabriel’s anger finally starts to fade, and he collapses back onto the couch.

         “Sorry.”  He says.  “That makes sense.  Just - did you tell Dean what they did to me?”

         “No!”  Castiel says quickly.  “That’s your story to tell or not tell, not mine.  I would never.”

         “Thanks.”  Gabriel says.  He stares down at his hands.  “I haven’t told Sam about what they used to make me do.”

         That surprises Castiel.  He would have thought that Gabriel would have said something to his mates about the awful ways the Novak Alpha used to punish him.

         “Why?”

         Gabriel’s anger returns in an instant.  If Castiel didn’t know his brother so well, he might have buckled under his rage.  As it is, he draws his knees up to his chest, an instinctual response to make himself smaller.

         “Why, Cassie?  Why?”  Gabriel rants.  “Because Sam already has the perfect mate.  He doesn’t need me around.  What if I tell him and he decides he doesn’t want a ruined omega?  What do I do then?”  The anger steadily leaves his voice, leaving behind broken sobs.  “I can’t lose them.”

         Castiel unfolds and reaches out to Gabriel.  The other omega hesitates for a minute before collapsing next to Castiel and crying into his shoulder.

         “Come on, Gabe.  Jess and Sam love you.  You know that.  They want you around because they love you.  They won’t see you as ruined.”  Castiel soothes.  Then, because he has to ask, he adds, “Did something happen during your heat?”

         Gabriel sniffs, trying to make his tears stop.  “No.”  He says.  “It was kinda nice that Jess went into heat first, because I got to see how gentle Sam is with her.  I mean, I knew that already, but it was good to see that he stayed the same during heats.  And then my heat was triggered and I don’t remember a ton of what else happened, besides sex.”

         “So why do you think you’ll lose them?”

         “Because if they find out that I wasn’t - wasn’t clean when we mated, they’ll be disgusted and disappointed and angry.”  Gabriel says.  He sounds broken, defeated, and Castiel’s heart breaks.  

         “That’s nonsense.”  Castiel says firmly.  Gabriel opens his mouth to argue, but Castiel doesn’t let him.  “Gabriel, are you listening to yourself?  That’s not who they are.  And you know that.”

         “I just can’t believe it.”  Gabriel says.  He’s past the point of crying now.  Castiel had spent years listening to this voice, the way Gabriel’s spirit had seemed to leave him.  Castiel had thought everything was back to how it should be, but clearly Gabe was battling more demons than he had thought.  He feels guilty for not realizing soon.  He’s been too wrapped up in his own fears to think about what this means for his brother.  

         Castiel hugs his brother tightly, wishing he could take away Gabriel’s pain.  There’s a soft noise, and both omegas look up to see Jess standing in the doorway.

         “Sorry.”  She says.  “I didn’t mean to interrupt.  It’s just - I read the letter.  Gabe, I’m so sorry.”

         Gabriel gives her a weak smile before turning to Castiel.  “What do I do?”  He whispers.  

         “Whatever you want.”  Castiel answers.  “It’s your choice.”

         Jess has turned to leave, clearly thinking that Gabriel doesn’t want her there.  Castiel is surprised when Gabriel asks for her to stay.  “Wait, Jess.  I need - there’s something I should tell you.”

         Jess crosses the room and settles on the other side of Gabriel.  She takes one of his hands in hers and holds it tightly.  “I need to tell you something first.”  She says firmly.  “I love you.”

         Gabriel shifts in his seat, looking uncomfortable.  “Not if you knew the truth.”  He says, low enough that Castiel isn’t sure if he wanted to be heard or not.  

         Whatever his intention, Jess does hear him.  She sends Castiel a worried look.  “What’s going on?”  She asks.  

         Gabriel takes a deep breath, then another.  He grips Castiel’s hand tightly, clearly looking for support, and Castiel squeezes his hand in return.  

         “Michael - the Novak Alpha - he made me do things.”  Gabriel admits.  He chokes back a sob.  “Bad things.”

         “Like what?”  Jess asks, before her face goes pale.  “Gabe, he abused you?”

         Gabriel is refusing to look at either of the other omegas.  “He used his alpha voice.”  He says, his voice dull.  “I didn’t have a choice.  He’d say it was the only way to shut me up, was to stuff his - his -”

         “He raped you.”  Jess finishes.  “Fuck, Gabe, why wouldn’t you tell me?”

         “Because.”  Gabriel mutters.  “You and Sam wouldn’t want a broken omega.  An unclean omega.  I thought for a while I could just not talk about it, but now everything’s been dragged up and you’ll find out eventually and -”

         Jess cuts in before Gabriel can finish.  “Stop right there.”  She says firmly.  “Sam and I love you.  Every single part of you.  That includes your past.”

         “You still love me?”  Gabriel asks, and he sounds so broken that Castiel just wants to cry.  

         “I will always love you.”  Jess tells him.  She cups Gabriel’s face in her hands, forcing him to look her in the eyes.  “Sam and I made you a promise, remember?  And we don’t break promises.”

         Castiel doesn’t know what that promise might be, but the mention of it seems to calm Gabriel.  He wipes at his tears and snuggles in closer to Jess’s embrace.  

         “Gabe?”  Castiel says after a few minutes.  “I’m going to let you guys talk, okay?”

         Gabriel nods.  “Thanks, Cassie.  For the support, I mean.”

         Castiel smiles.  “You’ve always been there for me.”  He reminds Gabriel.  

         It’s hard to walk away, but Castiel knows that Gabriel needs some time with Jess to talk things through.  Part of him, selfishly, isn’t ready to hear the whole story again.  His emotions are all over the place as it is.  But he also knows that Gabriel has to do what he has already done and talk about what happened in their old pack.  That’s the only way their wounds will start to heal, as painful as the process is.

         Castiel finds Dean in the council room, and for a moment he panics.  Mary isn’t in Dean’s arms.  About to ask where their daughter is, Castiel turns to see Bobby giving her a bottle.  

         “She’s got him wrapped around her finger.”  Dean says as he stands to greet Castiel.  He must see the look on Castiel’s face, because he asks, “You okay?”

         Castiel nods.  “Better now.”  He says.  “Gabe had a hard time with the letter.  But he and Jess are talking things over.”  

         “Good.”  Dean says.  He pauses for a moment, looking at Castiel the way he does when he’s trying to read his emotions.  “She and Sam really love him, you know.”

         “I know that.”  Castiel says.  “Some days, it’s hard for Gabriel to believe.”

         Dean’s eyes soften, his scent taking on an edge of sadness as he draws Castiel close to him.  “I love you.  You believe me, right?”

         “Yes.”  Castiel replies without a doubt in his mind.  “And I love you too.”

         Castiel still doesn’t feel up to being away from Dean for any long stretch of time, so he settles into the chair next to Dean and takes Mary back from Bobby once the pup has finished her bottle.  As the rest of Dean’s advisors take their seats, ready for that morning’s meeting, Castiel rocks Mary to sleep, crooning softly until she lets out one last yawn and tucks her head against his neck.  

         Castiel is soothed by the tiny puffs of air against his neck as Mary breathes, and he loses interest in this meeting.  He knows that it’s mostly a repeat of the day before, a chance to fill Sam in and get his final say on the treaty, so he doesn’t feel too guilty about not paying attention.  

         A harsh knock at the door gets his attention, though.  Castiel looks up as Benny opens the door.  Behind him stands a woman.  Just the sight of her makes Castiel want to hide.  Her scent is all alpha, tainted with something that turns Castiel’s stomach.

         “What’s going on?”  Dean asks.  “Who is this?”

         “Ruby.”  The woman says.  “Alpha Winchester, I presume?  Crowley sent me.”  

         Dean frowns.  “Crowley didn’t mention he would be sending anyone.”

         Ruby raises her eyebrows.  She hands Dean a letter and waits for him to read it.  “Happy?”  She asks.  

         Dean doesn’t answer her question, but he does gesture for her to sit down.  She sits in an empty chair next to Sam and drums her fingers on the table as she waits.  Her eyes land on Castiel and Mary.

         “Cute pup.”  She drawls.  The words might be nice, but her tone makes Castiel’s skin crawl.  He manages to say thank you before telling Dean he’s going to look for Adam.  Although he still wants to be close to his mate, his dislike of this woman is strong enough to drive him from the room.  Plus, he really doesn’t like how she looked at Mary.

         It takes some time to finally find Adam.  When he does locate the young beta, Adam’s with Kevin, Charlie, and Meg in the rooms that the four refugees recently moved into.  Castiel isn’t sure how welcome he’s going to be, given what happened with Charlie before, but he’s desperate for company and it’s not like Jess and Gabriel are available.

         Meg looks at him.  “What brings you here?”  She asks.  It’s not unfriendly, just blunt.

         “Another pack sent someone to talk about a treaty, and she just creeps me out.”  Castiel admits.  

         “How so?”  Adam asks.  

         Castiel shrugs.  “Her scent, mainly.  And she said something about Mary that was completely normal, but her tone was weird.”  He sighs.  “I’m not explaining it right.”

         Mary starts to fuss a little, and Castiel looks down to soothe her.  When he looks back up, he’s surprised to see that Meg’s face has gone pale.

         “What was her name?"  Meg asks.  


         "She said it was Ruby."  Castiel replies.  Panic starts to rise up in his chest.  "Why?  What is it?"  


         "Castiel, you have to promise me something."  Meg says.  "Promise that you'll believe what I'm going to say."  


         Castiel stares at her, unable to reply.  Her sudden urgency has scared him.    


         "You have to believe me."  Meg says.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter, but it's been forever since I updated, so I wanted to get something posted. We're reaching a turning point in the story (if you couldn't tell!) and things are just going to get more exciting from here. Let me know what you think!


	33. Chapter 33

       Castiel feels sick.  Meg’s face is a combination of panicked and angry, and it scares him.  Badly.  The urgency in her voice doesn’t comfort him any.

       “Meg, I -”

       “Castiel, I need you to trust me and make that promise.  I don’t want anything bad to happen.”  Meg says.  

       Castiel looks up.  Kevin and Charlie both look confused, bordering on scared.  So, he thinks, they don’t have any idea what Meg is about to say.  He knows it’s a risk, but some part of him is telling him that he needs to listen to Meg.

       “I promise.”  He says.  He locks eyes with Meg.  “I will believe what you tell me.”

       Meg takes a deep breath.  “It’s a long story.”  She says.  “But Ruby is here to betray you.  I don’t know who she says she’s here on behalf of, but it’s a lie.  She’s one of Raphael’s underlings.”

       “How do you know?”  Castiel asks.

       “Because he sent me here too.”  Meg replies.  

       The room goes dead silent.  Castiel can hardly breathe.  He’s about to say something, but Kevin beats him to it.

       “You lied to us.”  He says.  “You said you were escaping punishment.  We thought you were our friend.”  He says, the words angry and biting.  “How could you?”

       “I look out for myself, first and foremost.”  Meg admits.  “And Raphael gave me the choice of death or working for him.  I wanted to live.  He wanted someone in the Winchester Pack in preparation for war.  I was to go in first under the guise of a refugee fleeing from him.  Raphael wanted me to gather information about how the pack worked.  The plan was that once Ruby arrived - pretending to be from a different pack - I would give her the information and she would bring it back to Raphael so he could prepare.”

       “Why are you telling me this?”  Castiel asks.  

       “Because this pack welcomed me with open arms.  Because you showed me what a pack can be.”  Meg says.  “Shit, it sounds corny, but it’s true.  I didn’t want to do what Raphael said to begin with, but I was going to go along with it just to save my own neck.  But I don’t want anything to happen to anyone in this pack.  I was honestly hoping that Ruby would never show up, but that was wishful thinking.”  She takes a deep breath.  “I don’t care if I live or die.  I needed to tell you the truth.  Now it’s up to you.”

       Castiel doesn’t know what to say.  Strangely enough, he believes every word Meg has just said.  He doesn’t doubt that she’s changed her mind.  But he has no idea how he’s going to convince Dean and then the rest of his advisors of that fact.

       “Say something.”  Meg says.  For the first time since Castiel met her, she sounds scared.  

       “I believe you.”  He says.  He looks down at Mary for a moment, trying to gather some strength.  “I don’t know what Dean’s going to say.”

       Meg nods her understanding.  “I’ll do anything I have to in order to prove my story to him.”  She says.  

       Castiel stands.  He can’t hold onto this information any longer.  He needs to see Dean.  As he goes to leave, though, Adam catches his arm.

       “I’ll come too.”  He says.  “You need some support for this.”  

       Castiel is grateful that Adam was seemingly able to read his mind.  He does need the support of someone else who heard Meg’s tale firsthand.  He also doesn’t know how he’s going to react to seeing Ruby this time, so it’s good to have someone else with him.

       They are about halfway back to the council rooms when Adam speaks.  “She’s telling the truth, isn’t she?”

       Castiel hushes the young beta.  “Not here.”  He says, not wanting anyone to overhear their conversation.  “But yes, I think she is.”

       “Me too.”  Adam says, and they fall back into silence.

       The meeting is still ongoing when they arrive at the council chambers.  Castiel looks down at Mary.  He really doesn’t want to take his daughter anywhere near this Ruby.  He turns to Adam, only to discover that the beta has got him covered.

       “I’ll get Dean.”  He reassures Castiel.  “Why don’t you take Mary back to your rooms?  It will be the most private there.”

       Castiel nods in agreement.  He heads upstairs, a sense of safety falling over him when he finally shuts the heavy door and leaves the rest of the castle behind.  Now it’s him, Mary, and the guard outside.

       The time it takes for Dean to arrive passes slowly.  Mary has picked up on how anxious and scared Castiel is, and he can’t soothe her.  She’s finally distracted when Dean enters the room, Adam trailing behind him.  Dean looks a mix of annoyed and worried.

       “What’s going on?”  Dean asks.  “Is Mary okay?”  Castiel knows the unspoken question - why did he interrupt such an important meeting - and it’s hard not to feel like his mate is angry with him.

       “Mary’s fine.  But there’s something you need to know.”  Castiel says.  “About Ruby, and about Meg, and the Novak pack.”

       Dean looks intrigued.  “Which is?”

       Castiel tells Dean everything Meg had told him.  Adam chimes in from time to time, verifying what Castiel has said.  Dean’s scent goes from being tinged with annoyance to being fully concerned, the smell leaving a sour bite to the air.  

       When they finish, a heavy, suffocating silence hangs over the room.  “I don’t know what to believe.”  Dean says quietly, finally breaking the silence.  “I mean, I believe that’s what she told you, but how do we know she isn’t just saying this to save herself?”

       “We don’t.”  Adam replies, sounding older than his fourteen years.  “But I do believe her.”

       “Me too.”  Castiel adds.  He looks down at Mary, the pup the only reason he’s trying to stay calm.  “Meg saved Mary.  Ruby looked like she would eat Mary for dinner.”  It’s not an exaggeration, either.  Ruby had scared Castiel, and made him terrified for his daughter.  

       Dean sighs.  “You know Ruby’s in the meeting rooms right now telling us - in detail - how Crowley’s treaty will benefit us.  How am I supposed to convince the others that she’s a spy from Raphael when she honestly seems like she’s from Crowley’s pack?”

       “I don’t know.”  Castiel says.  “Just...please listen to what Meg has to say, okay?”

       Dean studies him for a moment.  “I will.  And I have Ruby being watched.”  He takes a deep breath.  “I didn’t like how she looked at Mary either, Cas.  But I have to be really careful about this.  Even if what Meg is saying is true, we can’t just go and lock Ruby up.”

       “Why not?”  Castiel and Adam ask at the same time, their voices equally dismayed.  

       “Because feeding her false information will serve us better.”  Dean explains.  “If she is working for Raphael, we need to tell her what she wants to hear, and do the opposite.”

       “So what are you going to do?”  Castiel asks.  

       “Right now?  I’m going to go back to the meeting and hear what she has to say.”  Dean says.  He sees how Castiel’s face falls and quickly adds, “Tonight or tomorrow, I’ll talk with Meg.  I’ll have Sam and Bobby with me, and together we’ll figure this out.”

       Castiel doesn’t know how he’s supposed to sleep well knowing that Ruby is even in the castle, but he nods his understanding.  Dean steps closer to him, kissing the top of Mary’s head before drawing Castiel in for a kiss.  

       “I’m always going to protect you two.”  Dean says quietly.  “You know that, right?”

       Castiel smiles sadly.  “I do.”  He promises his mate.  “But this has me really shook up.”

       “Me too.”  Dean says.  “And I believe you, Cas.  I just have to do this the right way, and sometimes the right way sucks.”

       “I understand.”  Castiel says.  And he does.  He gets that Dean has to do what’s best for the entire pack.  He understands that Dean needs to triple check everything before making accusations that could threaten alliances if they are wrong.  

       Dean turns to Adam.  “Will you stay?”  He asks.  

       Adam nods, clearly sensing the importance in what Dean is asking of him.  “Yeah, of course.”  He says.

       Neither Adam or Castiel speak for several long moments after Dean leaves.  Mary finally breaks the silence by fussing to be set free of the sling.  Castiel is glad for a distraction.  His thoughts are swirling, gathering into a dark storm cloud he has no clue how to get rid of.  He and Adam settle on the rug in front of the fireplace.  Mary lays on her stomach, kicking her feet.  She’s recently been trying to roll over.  Castiel watches her and wonders.  Wonders about Ruby and Meg, about what Dean will do, about the evil in his past that won’t leave him alone.

       “This sucks.”  Adam says after an extended silence.  “Aren’t you mad?”

       “Of course I am.”  Castiel says.  “I just don’t know what I can do.  I’ve told Dean what we found out, and now it’s just a matter of waiting to see what he does.”

       Adam frowns.  “I don’t want to wait around.  We need to be doing something.”

       Castiel turns to face the young beta.  “What do you want me to do?”  He asks, a bit snappishly.  His nerves are frayed as it is, and he doesn’t feel like being dragged into whatever Adam is thinking about.  Right now, he wants to get through the next couple of hours until he can be back in his mate’s arms.  That’s all.  

       “I don’t know.”  Adam says back, just as frustrated.  “I just thought, with everything that happened to you, you’d be a little more upset about this.”

       Castiel swallows back the first retort that comes to mind.  “I’m furious and terrified.”  He says.  “But Dean’s right that Ruby sounded like she was from this Crowley’s pack.  I mean, she knew everything that was in the letter.”

       A sudden realization hits Castiel as he finishes the statement, and he looks at Adam with wide eyes.

       “What is it?”  Adam demands to know.

       “The letter.”  Castiel says.  “Holy shit, the letter.”

       “What about the letter?”

       Castiel feels like he’s going to be sick.  “The letter from Crowley wasn’t from him.  That’s why the messenger got back so quickly.”

       “You’re saying that Raphael or one of his people wrote the letter.”  Adam says slowly.  “That’s why it was so detailed.  Because he was the one to do everything in the letter.”

       Castiel can’t answer.  He barely makes it to the basin in time to throw up everything he’d eaten that day.  Adam is at his side moments later, offering a washcloth to Castiel so he can clean his face.  

       “Sorry.”  Adam says, his voice soft.  “I didn’t mean to upset you like that.”

       Castiel accepts the glass of water Adam offers him.  “It’s not your fault.”  He reassures Adam.  “It was thinking that Raphael was probably laughing when he wrote that letter.  He liked the scent of omega fear.  He thought hurting us was fun.”  Castiel takes a deep breath, trying to calm down before he gets even more upset.  “Where’s Mary?”

       “In her cradle.”  Adam answers.  “She’s safe.”

       Castiel walks back into the bedroom and collapses on the bed.  He stares up at the ceiling.  “I’m never going to escape them, am I?”  He wonders aloud.  

       “Don’t say that.”  Adam says fiercely.  “You’re stronger than them.”

       Castiel doesn’t feel like he is, but he also doesn’t feel like arguing at the moment.  He and Adam agree to try and think of other things until Dean gets back.  Even with Mary as a distraction, it’s a long few hours.  When Dean finally returns, Castiel lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding.  

       “The letter.”  He and Adam blurt out at the same time, waiting just long enough for Dean to close the door.  

       Dean turns to look at them.  Castiel takes in his mate’s weary expression and tired eyes.  He quickly crosses the room.  “What’s wrong?”

       Dean sighs.  “Nothing, I’m just tired.  Sam and I just went to see Meg to hear everything firsthand.”

       “And?”  Adam asks.  

       “I’m inclined to believe her, but we don’t have proof.”  Dean says.  

       “We do.”  Castiel says.  “The letter from Crowley.  Adam and I think it isn’t from him.  It’s from Raphael.”

       A variety of emotions flicker across Dean’s face, going from surprise to concern to anger.  “That - that’s a good thought.”  He says.  “And it would explain why the messenger got back so fast.”

       “So now what?”  Castiel asks.  “What happens next?”

       “We’re going to go find Sam.”  Dean says.  He opens the door and calls Benny in.  “I need you to personally get Bobby and Rufus for me.  Quietly.  Tell them I’m with Sam.”

       Benny nods his understanding and leaves.  Castiel is quietly thankful that Ash remains, glad that there is still someone between Ruby and his daughter.  

       Dean turns to Adam.  “Why don’t you go ahead to Sam’s rooms?  Cas and I will be there in a few minutes, okay?”

       Adam leaves as well.  Dean waits until the door shuts behind him before gathering Castiel into his arms.  

       “I’m sorry, baby.”  Dean whispers.  “I can’t imagine how scared you must be.”

       Castiel takes a deep breath, inhaling the comforting scent of his mate, before responding.  “I’m really scared.  It just feels like I’ll never be free of my past.”  He says, echoing what he said earlier that afternoon.  Dean doesn’t try and argue.  He just kisses Castiel’s forehead.

       “No matter what, Cas, I’ll keep you safe.”  He says.  The simple promise settles some of the fear in Castiel’s heart.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I had a little trouble figuring out exactly where this chapter was going, but I'm pretty happy with it now! Things are definitely going to start getting crazy in the next few chapters!


	34. Chapter 34

      Dean had expected that Sam would have told his mates about their conversation about Meg, but the sound of muffled crying coming from inside their room still breaks his heart.  He knows what Gabriel must be going through - he’s seen it all in Cas.  Next to him, Cas’s scent has gone sour, fear and sadness mixing together to form a scent that Dean wishes he could get rid of for good.

      Adam is hovering by the door, looking afraid to actually knock.  Dean shifts Mary to his other arm so he can knock instead.  She grumbles in protest of the movement, a cute little whine that normally would make Dean smile.  Today, there’s too much on his mind to do much more than glance down at her.  

      Jess is the one to answer the door.  Her eyes are watery and red-rimmed.  She silently lets them in, leading them over to the sitting area where Gabriel is tucked in against Sam, his body shaking as he sobs.

      Cas cries out, running over to his omega brother.  Gabriel pulls away from Sam to hug Cas.  “That bastard wrote the letter.”  Gabriel chokes out.  “How can someone be that sick?”

      Mary lets out a full-blown wail.  Dean knows she had to be distressed by the scent of so much fear and sadness and anger in the room.  He walks closer to the fire, hoping the scent of the burning logs will cover at least some of the less pleasant scents.

      “At least we know now.”  Sam soothes his mate.  He looks over at Dean.  “We are certain about this, right?”

      Dean nods.  “I’ve been pouring over the letter and previous ones from Crowley.  They don’t sound alike at all.  Bobby is seeing what he can get from the messenger we sent.”

      Gabriel pushes away from Sam, his anger flaring up in a burst of burnt-sugar scent.  “We couldn’t have figured that out earlier?”  He snaps.  Sam tries to say something, but Gabriel storms off.  Castiel follows him, his voice too low to make out words but a soothing tone is audible to the others in the room.

      “Shit.”  Sam says as he watches the two omegas.  “Shit, shit, shit.”  He turns to Dean.  “What the hell do we do now?  Thinking that letter from Crowley was bad enough, but from Raphael?”

      Dean sighs and takes a seat in a chair near the fireplace.  “I’ve been thinking.  We need to actually get in touch with Crowley.  I think we should send Jody with a full set of guards.  It’ll take longer, but that way we will know for certain that it gets to Crowley.”

      “Agreed.”  Sam says.  He smiles a crooked half-smile, though there’s no real amusement in it.  “Wouldn’t want all that work convincing the pack elders to sign a treaty with him to go to waste.”

      “Right.  And we do need a treaty with him.”  Dean sighs.  “And right now, we have to treat everything said in that letter with suspicion.  We can’t be certain what Raphael made up and what is actually fact.”

      Jess wipes a tear off of her cheek.  “They knew the letter would get to Gabe and Castiel, didn’t they?”

      Dean looks at his brother, at a loss as of how to answer.  Sam pulls his mate close.  “I think so, yeah.”  He says.  “I think they really wanted to hurt them, and that was the only way.”

      He falls silent as Cas and Gabriel walk back over.  Gabriel’s scent is still tinged with that burnt-sugar smell, but he at least looks a little calmer.  The two omegas are wrapped in each other’s arms.  There’s a glint in Cas’s eyes that Dean recognizes as determination, and Gabriel’s expression mirrors Cas’s.  

      “Raphael, Michael, all of them.  They aren’t going to succeed in making us cower in fear.”  Cas says, his quiet voice a surprising contrast to how steady he sounds.  “They want you to make decisions to keep us happy and feeling safe, not for the good of the pack.  So, Dean, you have to do what’s best for the pack.  Not for us.”

      There’s silence following Cas’s announcement.  Rationally, Dean knows that Cas is right.  It’s a tactic to make him act without thinking, to appeal to his alpha instincts rather than use the logical mind of a pack leader.  But it hurts his heart to hear that coming from his mate.  To hear Cas flat out saying to not do something to help him.  

      “Cas-”  Dean starts to say, but Sam beats him to it.

      “That’s very brave of you.  Both of you.”  Sam says.  “And I respect that.”  His voice chokes up, but he continues.  “Every day I see how strong you are, and there’s not a day that goes by that I’m not impressed.”

      “Me too.”  Dean agrees.  “Sammy’s right.  You two are the bravest people I know.”

      Gabriel manages to crack a small smile.  “Couldn’t do it with you guys.”  He says.  

      There’s a knock at the door.  Jess crosses the room and lets in a majorly pissed off Bobby.

      “I’ve got half a mind to string that damn boy up a pole and let him hang.”  Bobby says, the door slamming shut behind him.  “Bribed off with a few pieces of gold.”

      “Fuck.”  Dean says, the sentiment echoed by several others in the room.  “So that’s it, then.  We know that Meg is telling the truth.”

      “We need a guard put on Meg and the others from Raphael’s pack.  I want to make sure Ruby doesn’t get access to Meg.”  Sam says.  Dean’s grateful to have a brother who is so skilled at the matters of running a pack.  It makes his own life easier, and a little less overwhelming.  

      Not much though.  Dean turns to Cas and sees that his mate has retreated even more in the face of Bobby’s news.  Dean opens his arms and Cas is tucked against him in a matter of seconds.  

      “How?”  Cas mumbles into Dean’s shoulder.  “How could someone do that?”

      Dean doesn’t know how to answer that.  The logical part of his brain knows that money can work wonders when you need someone to talk or do what you want.  But emotionally, he’s hurt that a pack member would betray them like that.  He’s always worked hard to make sure his pack is happy, and it’s worrying that there could be others willing to betray the pack.

      Now’s not the time to dwell on that, though.  He’s got a hell of a lot of other things that need his attention.  He kisses Cas’s forehead and turns to Bobby.  

      “I want to talk to Ellen at some point.  She knows what’s going on in this pack better than anyone else.  She’ll be able to point us in the right direction to the people to use to trick Ruby into believing what we want her to believe.”

      “What do we want her to believe?”  Adam asks, the first he’s spoken since they’ve arrived.  “I mean, won’t she think that something’s up?”

      “Not if we do this right.”  Dean says.

      They talk for a while longer before Dean sends Bobby and Sam out to make sure there’s a guard placed on the four refugees and that someone has an eye on Ruby.  Dean knows he won’t have a chance to really sit down and talk with Ellen until after dinner, so that’s on hold.  For now, he’s just got time to think and worry.  It’s not long before the worries take over.

      They’re back in their room, settled in front of the fireplace.  Mary lies on her tummy, her little feet kicking madly as she mouths at one of her toys.  Dean is struck with sudden panic.  If he doesn’t handle this situation right, what will happen?  His mate and child could be in danger.  He has no doubt that the Novak pack alpha would like to kill Cas for what happened the night of the mating feast.  And he saw the look on Ruby’s face when she saw Cas cradling Mary.  It wasn’t one that filled him with comfort.  

      “You’re crying.”  Cas says softly, startling Dean out of his thoughts.  He gently wipes away a tear from Dean’s cheek.

      “Yeah.”  Dean says.  “Fuck, Cas, how are you not?”

      Cas gives him a small smile, though it doesn’t reach his eyes.  “I already did.”  He reminds Dean.  Dean opens his mouth to tell Cas that doesn’t matter, that he can still cry, but Cas stops him.  “I know you’re scared about all of this.  You can tell me.”

      Dean takes a deep breath.  “I don’t want anything to happen to you, or to Mary, or to anyone in the pack.”  He says.  “I’m scared I’ll make the wrong decision about something important and everything will go wrong.  I know I’ve been leading the pack for a long time, but nothing this serious has ever threatened us like this before.”

      “You hide it well.”  Cas says.  He takes Dean’s hand in his own.  His touch is feather light as he traces the lines on Dean’s palm.  “And you aren’t alone in this.”

      “I know you’re here for me.”  Dean says.  “And I appreciate Cas.”  And he does.  But he doesn’t want to say what else he is thinking - that all of his mate’s support in the world won’t change the fact he doesn’t know what to do.

      Cas, though, seems able to read his mind at times like this.  “I don’t mean just me.”  He says.  “I mean your brother.  I mean Bobby, and Rufus, and Ellen, and Jody.  I mean Benny and Ash.  I mean Jo.”  He takes a deep breath.  “You don’t have to make decisions by yourself.  You have people who will help you.”

      It’s like someone threw a bucket of cold water on him.  “You’re right.”  Dean says.  

      Cas gives him a crooked, amused smile.  “I know.”  He says.  His face grows more serious.  “Sometimes, I think you think that you have the world on your shoulders and you’re the only one who can fix things.  And maybe in some cases, that’s true.  But not all the time.  Nobody can do everything by themself.”

      “I know.”  Dean says.  

      “You know that here.”  Cas says, tapping Dean’s head.  His hand travels to press against Dean’s heart.  “But sometimes you forget about it here.”

      Sometimes Dean just marvels at the wisdom Cas has.  He’s right, of course.  Dean does act with his heart more often than not, especially now that he’s mated.  He wants to be the man that his father wasn’t, the dad that his daughter deserves.  He wants to wrap Cas up in his arms and keep him away from any bad thing that exists.  He knows that’s not possible - or fair to Cas - but he can’t help it sometimes.  

      Before he met Cas, he didn’t question himself nearly as much.  He just did what he thought would be in the best interests of his pack.  But now his eyes have been opened to the suffering that’s happening in other packs, and he’s torn.  Does he continue to protect his pack at the cost of the suffering of others like Cas?  Or does he risk the safety of his pack to help people he’s never even met?  It’s not an easy question to answer any more.

      “I don’t know what to do.”  Dean says.  Cas goes to say something, but it’s Mary who provides the answer.  Oblivious to the questions her parents are struggling with, she lets out an adorable giggle and shakes her rattle.  

      Mary’s birth mother could be in danger.  Though Dean has no intention of ever finding out who that is, the thought still stabs into his heart.  There are undoubtedly more pups like Mary out there.  More pups like the one Cas used to be.  

      Dean looks up to find Cas watching him.  “You know what to do.”  Cas says.  “You’re just afraid.  That’s okay, you know.  Being afraid doesn’t mean anything bad.”

      “You,”  Dean says, kissing Cas, “are the wisest person I’ve ever met.”

      Cas smiles.  “You taught me that.”  He says.  “So you’re pretty wise yourself.”

 


	35. Chapter 35

           Breakfast with the pack is the noisy affair it always is.  Castiel has his hands wrapped around his mug, drawing any warmth he can from his tea.  It’s another bitterly cold morning.  Bobby says there’s another storm blowing in, and Castiel believes him - the wind is howling like  a wolf outside.  Castiel is wrapped up in several layers, enough that both Dean and Sam have asked him if he was planning on going outside.  

           Mary is perched on Bobby’s lap, her bright eyes taking in the activity in the room.  Her uncertainty of Bobby has given way to total adoration, and the tiny pup is more than content to be with the older wolf.  As for Bobby - well, Castiel thinks it’s safe to say that he would do absolutely anything for Mary.  

           There’s a small movement near the doorway, and Castiel turns to watch as Ruby enters the Great Hall, scanning the room before she comes to the head table.  As a supposed guest of Crowley’s pack, Dean had insisted that she be treated like any ambassador would be.  That means, much to Castiel’s dislike, that she has a seat at the head table too.

           “Good morning.”  Castiel manages to say.  He knows the more he can act normal around Ruby the better chance they have at keeping her in the dark about what they have discovered.  Still, it’s difficult to spend any time around her.  For the past couple of days, Castiel has insisted on eating his meals in their room.  It was only this morning that Dean all but begged for him to come to breakfast with the pack.

           Dean wraps an arm around Castiel’s waist.  It’s a reassuring weight that reminds Castiel he’s safe and surrounded by a pack that would do anything to protect him.  He manages to give Dean a small smile before turning his attention back to where Mary sits in Bobby’s arms.  His instincts are screaming at him not to let his daughter out of his sight so long as Ruby is around.  She’s a predator, the sort of animal that would eat its own young.  

           Castiel hopes the shiver that runs down his spine isn’t visible to the others at the table.  Dean, though, feels it.  How could he not, with his arm still wrapped around Castiel?  Dean tightens his grip ever so slightly, a form of comfort and a reminder all in one.  Castiel knows what Dean is telling him, that things will be okay but he must keep up this facade.  

           Gabriel is deep in conversation with Jess, and Dean has turned his attention to his brother and the plans for the day.  Bobby is occupied with Mary.  Castiel feels lost.  He takes another piece of bread and butters it, looking for anything to keep him occupied until he can make his excuses and return to his room.

           He looks out at the room as he eats.  He’s surprised to see Jo striding through the center of the room, heading their way.  She eats before dawn, with the guards, so she can go to the early morning training sessions.  It’s rare to see her at breakfast.  

           “Dean.”  Jo says, interrupting the brothers.  Ruby purses her lips at the informality.

           “What is it?”  Dean asks.  

           “It’s the refugees.  Meg was found dead this morning.”

           Time seems to stop.  The din of the pack fades away, leaving Castiel trapped in a soundless, foreign place.  He struggles to focus on Jo but he can’t hear what she’s saying.  He feels weak and scared, and before he knows it he’s curled up in a ball on the floor.  It’s safer here.

           “Cas!  Cas, come on.  Please come back to me.”  He thinks that may be Dean, or maybe Gabriel.  

           A baby is crying.  Mary, Castiel thinks distantly.  His pup.  Why is his pup crying?

           His mind starts to swirl, dragging up bad memories and ugly thoughts.  Meg is dead.  Someone killed Meg.  What had she done?  She wasn’t an omega.  Only omegas turned up dead.  That’s one thing he knows about Alpha.  He may punish alphas and betas, but only omegas are killed.  They’re not worth anything alive, so it doesn’t matter if they die.  But Meg wasn’t an omega.  So what happened?

           “Cas, it’s Dean.  It’s your mate.”  There’s a pleading tone in the voice and Castiel tries to look up, tries to focus on where it’s coming from.  A fuzzy face hovers above him.  He blinks, then blinks again.  The face starts to come into focus.  It is Dean.  Castiel unfolds a little, reaches out with one hand to brush up against the rough skin of Dean’s cheek.  

           Slowly reality starts to settle back in.  He’s a Winchester now.  He’s okay.  But Meg isn’t.  She’s still dead.  And that means something could happen to any of the refugees.

           “I have to get Mary somewhere safe.”  He tells Dean.  Urgency strikes him.  “Now.”

           Dean looks like he wants to say something, but Castiel doesn’t wait.  He uncurls the rest of the way and looks for his pup.  She’s still in Bobby’s arms, and Castiel doesn’t waste a moment before scooping her up.  

           “Meg’s dead.”  Castiel says uncertainly.  He holds Mary tightly against his chest.  “Why is Meg dead?”

           Dean opens his mouth to respond before seemingly realizing that he doesn’t have the answer.  All of the attention goes to Jo.  

           “We don’t know.  Her body was found in the hall near meeting rooms.”  Jo says.  “Dean, what do we do?”

           “Put guards on the other refugees.  I want them safe.”  Dean orders.  “Cas, why don’t you and Mary go back to our room?  Benny, I want several guards with Cas, including you.”

           “I don’t want to be alone.”  Cas whimpers.  He knows he must sound weak, but he can’t help it.  He’s scared - scared for the others from Raphael’s pack, scared for the Winchester pack, scared that someone will hurt his daughter.  He wants his mate right now, but Dean just gives him a tight hug and pulls away.

           “I’m sorry, Cas, but I need to deal with this.”  Dean says.  “Sam?”

           The other alpha nods.  “How about Jess and Gabe go with you?”  He asks Castiel.  And okay, that sounds better.  Castiel shakily agrees.  If he can’t have his mate, having his omega brother is the next best thing. 

           “I’ll come too, if that’s okay.”  Adam says.  He’s deathly pale and looks terrified.  Once again, Castiel is reminded of how young the beta really is.  He would comfort Adam, but he’s too scared himself to do anything.

           As they leave, escorted by several guards, Castiel hears Dean make his excuses to Ruby.  All Castiel can wonder is if Ruby was the one to kill Meg, a thought he voices as soon as they are back in his room.

           “How the fuck should I know?”  Gabriel asks.  Castiel flinches under the harsh words.  “Shit, sorry.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”  He takes a few deep breaths, gulping for air.  “I’m really freaked out.”

           Castiel settles on the sofa, curling up under one of the thick fur throws.  Mary whines and buries her face against his neck.  Castiel feels guilty, knowing that his pup is reacting to the confusing mix of fear and anger coming off of him.  He tries to soothe her, but he can’t calm himself down enough to really do that.  He wants his mate, wants Dean to pull him into one of those giant bear hugs that make him feel safe and secure.  

           But Dean isn’t here, and Castiel feels a pang of loneliness.  He knows that Gabriel is here - and he’s glad for that - but he wants Dean.  He wants to inhale that autumn morning scent of his mate and remind himself that things are okay.  

           “Do you think Ruby found out that we knew?”  Adam asks.

           That’s the thought that’s rattling around Castiel’s mind.  Well, one of them.  The other thought is that the other refugees that arrived with Meg are also in danger - including Mary.  

           “I don’t know.”  Gabriel says.  “But I want it to be her.  Because if it’s not-”  He doesn’t finish the sentence.  He doesn’t have to.  The impact of his words hang over the room in a dark cloud, and Castiel feels even more scared.  Gabe’s right.  If it wasn’t Ruby, then they may have even bigger problems on their hands.

           Benny, who up until now has been sitting silently just inside the doorway, speaks up before any of them can get too scared.  “There’s no use in getting all worried yet.”  He says in that comforting drawl of his.  “Dean and Sam are going to sort things out.”

           “How can you be so sure?”  Castiel asks quietly - quietly enough that he’s not sure if Benny will hear him.  But Benny does hear him, and he offers a soft smile.

           “Have those boys ever steered you wrong?”  He asks.

           “No.”  Castiel says, his answer echoed soon after by the others in the room.  

           Benny nods like that solves everything.  And maybe it solves some things, because Castiel does trust Dean.  He believes that his mate will be able to figure this out.  He’s got Sam and Bobby and Rufus and Ellen to help him.  

           But there’s still a shadow of a doubt in his mind.  Not about Dean, but about what Ruby is capable of.  What if they’ve underestimated her?  What if Raphael or the Novack pack is planning something huge and this is just the beginning?  

           Castiel looks down at Mary.  She stares at him with those beautiful big eyes, full of the sort of trust and love only a baby can have.  He smoothes the soft wisps of her hair and presses a soft kiss to her forehead.  

           “I love you, baby girl.”  He says.  He’s still scared, but he wants to be strong for his daughter.  He feels sofa cushion dip and he looks up to see Gabriel sitting down next to him.  

           “We’re gonna get through this.”  Gabriel says.  “Right?”

           Castiel is once again struck with how glad he is his brother is here with him.  “Together.”  He promises.  

           Gabriel nods.  “Together.”  He agrees.  He looks over at where Jess stands, then glances at Adam, who is sitting on the rug in front of the fireplace.  “We’ll get through this together.”

           “What happens now?”  Adam asks.  “I mean, I know Dean and Sam are going to do something, but what?  And what about Kevin and Charlie and Linda?”  

           Castiel doesn’t know how to answer.  He doesn’t know what happens now.  He feels utterly lost.  In most ways, this is unlike anything he’s ever experienced.  He was never in a position in his old pack to know about pack dealings and happenings.  But in some ways, the way that this has caused so much fear in those he cares about reminds him about what life was like in his old pack.  The Novak Pack was a place where fear ruled every part of his life, to a point where he no longer knew what life could be without fear.  

           This isn’t the same feeling, not by a longshot, but after living so long with so much fear, Castiel doesn’t want any of it in his life.  He’s worked so hard to put his past behind him.  But Meg’s death just reminds him of what it was like in his old pack, and he hates it.  Hates that his old life won’t just leave him alone.

           Jess is the one who finally answers Adam.  “Sam and Dean will figure out what’s best for the pack.  They won’t let harm come to anyone else if they can prevent it.”  

           There’s a knock on the door.  Everyone in the room tenses.  Mary, sensing the shift, lets out a little wail of displeasure.  But when Benny opens the door, it’s Dean and Sam, and everyone in the room seems to let out a sigh of relief.

           Dean doesn’t immediately cross the room to kiss Castiel.  There’s something off about him, and Castiel doesn’t like it.

           “What’s going on?”  He asks.  “I know it’s something.”

           Dean looks at Sam.  There’s a bizarre scent coming off of him that Castiel can only describe as guilt.  It’s not the least bit comforting.

           “Meg’s alive.”  Dean says after a moment.  “We had her fake her death.”

           There’s a pause when the room is silent save for the cracking of the fireplace before everyone irrupts.  “What do you mean you faked her death?”  Castiel asks.  “You didn’t think to tell us?”

           “Your reactions had to be genuine.”  Dean starts to say, but Castiel doesn’t want to hear it.  His mate just admitted he put Castiel through this hell of fear and worry, and for what?  Castiel can’t understand why Dean wouldn’t trust him.

           “It had to be done this way.”  Sam says.

           “Like hell it did.”  Gabriel snarls back.  

           “Get out.”  Jess says, voicing what all three omegas are thinking.  Her voice is shaking with anger.  “Go think about what you just did.”

           “Babe-”

           “I said get out.”  Jess says again.  She points to the door.  There’s a moment where nobody moves.  Dean looks at Castiel, his eyes pleading for Castiel to understand.  But Castiel doesn’t understand why his mate would do this.  He doesn’t get the point of lying and hiding and doing what Dean and Sam just did.  So he looks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...yeah. Don't hate me too much.


	36. Chapter 36

        Dean stares out the window at the blowing snow.  “Cas is never going to forgive me.”  He says miserably.  “I really screwed up this time.”

        Jo gives him a little shove.  “Stop moping around.”  She scolds.  “Castiel will forgive you.  You just better be real honest with him.”

        “What was I thinking?”  Dean moans.  He feels like the guilt is eating him alive.  He knew all along that this plan was a risk, but he had honestly thought he’d at least have a chance to explain himself to Cas.  But now his mate won’t even look him in the eyes, let alone talk to him.  Dean doesn’t know what to do or how he’s supposed to fix this.

        Sam has been silent for the past hour or so, sitting by himself in the corner of his room.  No matter how many times Dean has tried to get his brother to talk to him, Sam’s ignored him.  Dean knows it’s because Jess has never once been that angry and Sam’s hurt, but fuck that.  They both messed up.  Sam needs to help him figure out what to do.

        Jo looks between the two of them and sighs.  “You made a dumb decision, and you’re going to have to own up to what you did.”  She says.  “And I get why you did what you did. But Castiel and Gabriel saying that they were okay with you doing what was in the pack’s best interest is a whole lot easier than actually living through what that may mean.”

        “I thought they’d be mad.”  Sam says, finally breaking his silence.  “I just didn’t think they would be this mad.”

        “Cas was scared that Mary was in danger.”  Dean whispers.  “I never even thought about it like that.”

        “Of course you didn’t.”  Jo says.  “Look, Castiel and Gabriel were raised differently than you.  Than us.  They’re going to react differently.”

        Before she can say anymore, Ash pokes his head into the room.  “Dean?  Castiel is here.”

        Dean feels like his heart may explode.  His mate has sought him out.  Maybe he’s ready to talk things over.  But that hope disappears when he actually comes face to face with Cas.  The omega’s eyes are red and puffy, a sure sign that he’s been crying.  But his face is cold and blank.  There’s no sign of forgiveness.  

        “I want to talk.”  Castiel says.

        With that said, he turns away.  Dean stares at his mate for a moment before realizing what Cas is asking of him.  He tries to get his mate’s attention, but Cas is staring straight ahead.

        It takes a few minutes, but eventually Dean realizes that Cas is heading for his office off of the meeting rooms.  Dean spends the short journey worrying and wondering what Cas is going to say.  He knows what he has to say.  He knows he has to apologize and explain himself.  And Cas is giving him that chance.  At least, Dean thinks he is. 

        They settle into the small office.  Dean shuts and bolts the door behind them.  He takes a deep breath.  He’s got one chance to make this right, one chance to convince Cas that he didn’t do this to hurt Cas.  He’s scared that he will fail.

        “Did you think your plan through at all?”  Cas asks after a moment.  

        “I’m sorry, Cas.”  Dean pleads.  

        “That’s not what I asked.”  Cas says.  “Did you think through your plan at all?”

        “I thought I had.”  Dean says.  And it’s true.  He and Sam had spent nearly an entire day talking things over.  They had known that there was a high risk of their mates being upset, but they hadn’t thought it would be this bad.  Dean can see how clueless they were now.  “What you said to me the other day - that I could do what was best for the pack.  This was what was best for the pack.”

        “I didn’t ask you to lie to me!”

        There’s not much Dean can say to that.  “I know you didn’t, Cas.  I made a mistake.”

        Apparently that’s the wrong thing to say.  “A mistake?”  Cas asks.  “That’s what you think this is?  This is much more than a mistake.”  His voice is shaking with anger.  “You promised you would trust me.  That you would tell me things.  You broke that promise.  How am I supposed to believe you now?”

        And fuck, his words slice into Dean, cutting down any excuses he might have been about to say.  His hands hang helplessly at his side, itching to reach out and hold his mate.  But he knows that’s not what Cas wants right now.

        “You’re right.”  Dean says.  “I broke that promise.  And I’m sorry, Cas.  I really am.”

        “I know you are.”  Cas says quietly.  “But that’s not enough right now.”

        Dean squeezes his eyes shut tightly, hoping to keep the tears from escaping.  It doesn’t work.  “Can I tell you what we did?  I just want you to know the truth.  I’m not asking you to forgive me right now.  I get that I messed up.”

        There’s a moment of silence while Cas considers what Dean asked.  Finally he nods his assent.

        “Meg told us that she was supposed to get any information she could about our pack and then pass that information to Ruby.  Sam and I thought that if we could make it look like Meg had been killed while looking for information, it would force Ruby into making a move she’s not ready to make.”

        “How so?”

        “Well, there was the chance that she would panic and think we would blame her for Meg’s death.  But mainly we wanted her to start wondering if someone within the pack figured out that Meg was a spy.”

        “I thought we didn’t want her to think we knew.”  Cas says.

        “We don’t.  We want her to suspect something might be up, but not be certain.”  Dean says.  “We want Ruby to think that there’s something going on in our pack that makes us slightly vulnerable.  That way we can surprise her when we’re stronger than she reports back to Raphael.”

        Cas doesn’t respond for several minutes.  Dean prays that his explanation makes sense.  He watches his mate, looking for any sign that Cas has thawed even a little bit.  

        “You know, I’m not mad that you decided to fake Meg’s death.”  Cas says.  He sounds a bit calmer now, but it’s the sort of dangerous calm that comes before a storm.  “But why did you think you had to hide the truth from me?”

        And that’s it - the final dagger in Dean’s heart.  He chokes back a sob.  “It was the only way to make it real.”  He whispers, wishing that he didn’t have to say those words.  “If we all knew, the scent wouldn’t be right and Ruby would figure out something was up.  She had to be overwhelmed by the scents of omegas.”  And that was the problem.  Omega scent was stronger than the scents of alphas and betas.  The reaction of the three omegas had been enough to cover the lack of surprise from Sam and Dean.  They had tried to think of other ways around it, but there were none.  They had to hide the truth from their mates to make sure Ruby believed them.

        Cas has gone rigid with anger, his fists clenched tightly enough to make his knuckles turn white.  “I thought our pup was in danger.”  He says, the rage barely controlled in his voice.  “I thought our pack could have been under attack.  Did you even think about what it would do to me?  To Gabe?”

        “I thought I had.”  Dean says.  “But I realized afterwards that I was thinking as myself, not as you.  I had no idea that you would think Mary was in danger.  So no, Cas.  I didn’t think it through all the way, and for that I’m sorry.”

        “What about for lying to me?”

        Dean sighs.  “I wish it didn’t have to have happened like that, but I couldn’t find another way.  I just couldn’t.  But sorry isn’t the right word for that.  I feel guilty as hell for putting you through that nightmare, Cas.”  He takes a deep breath.  “I’m not asking you to forgive me right now.  I’m asking for you to understand that I did what was best for the pack.”

        Cas finally looks at him.  Anger has left his scent, leaving behind an awful sadness that makes Dean feel even guiltier.  It was easier to deal with Cas when he was angry.  But the sadness claws at him, reminding him of what he’s done.  

        “I just want to know I can always trust you.”  Cas says.  “But you do something like this and it makes me wonder.”  His voice cracks.  “Do you know how hard it was for me to start trusting you?  Don’t put us way back at the beginning again.”  He’s pleading now, and Dean feels like absolute shit.  

        “I’m sorry.”  Dean says.  He takes a hesitant step towards Cas.  When his mate doesn’t pull away, he closes the remainder of the distance between them and wraps Cas up in his arms.  “I’m so sorry, Cas.  I never meant to make you feel like you couldn’t trust me.”  He swallows around the lump in his throat.  “But I understand why you think that, and I don’t blame you.  I won’t do this again.”

        Cas lets out a loud sob and buries his face in Dean’s shoulder.  They stand like that, arms wrapped around each other, Cas’s face tucked against Dean, for a long time.  Both of them are crying.  Cas’s cries are loud and gut-wrenching.  Dean is quieter but equally sad, his tears falling on Cas’s hair.  

        “I love you.”  Dean says after they both have, for the most part, stopped crying.  “I will always love you.  And I’m so sorry for what I did.  I was wrong.”

        “No.”  Cas says quietly.  “You were stupid.  What you did was right.  It was how you went about it that was stupid.”

        “Either way, I’m sorry.”  Dean says.  

        “I know.”  Cas says.  He lifts his head and raises a hand so he can gently cup Dean’s face.  “I love you, too.”  He stands on the tips of his toes and kisses Dean.  It’s the best feeling Dean could ask for.  He knows he lucked out with his mate.  Not everyone would be so understanding and forgiving, especially not in these circumstances.  He’s got a lot of making up to do still, a lot of proving that he can be trusted, but he honestly hadn’t thought Cas would be speaking to him at this point, let alone wrapped up in his arms and kissing him.  

        “I’m going to change.”  Dean promises.

        “Not too much, I hope.”  Cas says.  “I love  _ you _ , Dean.  Even your flaws.  Just like you love me for everything I am.”

        “I don’t know what I did to deserve someone as good as you as my mate.”  Dean says.  He breathes in Cas’s scent, which, if not entirely back to normal, is a lot calmer now.  

        Cas doesn’t answer.  Instead, he just nuzzles back against Dean’s neck, scenting him.  Dean closes his eyes and just enjoys the feeling of his mate back in his arms.  It feels like it’s been days, not hours, since he last held Cas.  He’s not certain if he’s ever going to let go.

        “I’m still pissed at you.”  Cas says after several moments.  “Just so we’re clear.”

        Dean has to swallow back a laugh.  Cas does still trust him.  He wouldn’t be honest about how angry he still is otherwise, and that alone gives Dean hope that he didn’t screw up their relationship for good.

        “I know.”  He tells Cas.  “And I deserve that.”

        Cas nods in agreement before slipping his hand into Dean’s.  “Still love you, though.”  He says, like it’s no big deal, like Dean hasn’t been worried that he’s ruined his relationship with his mate for good.  It takes a huge weight off of Dean’s shoulders.  

        “Should we go get Mary?”  Dean asks.  All he really wants to do right now is spend time with his little family.

        Cas seems to want the same thing.  “Yes, please.”  He says.  “Adam is watching her.”

        They walk back to their rooms hand in hand.  Dean keeps stealing glances at his mate, wanting to reassure himself that Cas is really here with him and, even if he hasn’t completely forgiven Dean, accepted what Dean did.

        Mary’s giggles ring out as they enter their rooms.  Adam is in the middle of pulling a funny face, and the little pup is laughing uncontrollably.  It’s a beautiful sight.  This is what Dean had hoped for when he asked his half-brother to join his pack - Adam being an important member of the pack.  And, in Dean’s mind, there’s not a much more important role than being a loving uncle.  

        Adam’s blushing in embarrassment when Cas scoops up Mary.  “Things okay?”  He asks Cas, shooting suspicious glances Dean’s way.  

        “They will be.”  Cas reassures him.  He turns to Dean.  “Can you tell Adam?”

        Dean quickly explains to Adam what he and Sam had done.  Next to him, Cas’s scent grows a little heavier, anger and fear and sadness creeping back in, and Dean rushes to finish the story.  Adam doesn’t look very happy, but at least he accepts that Cas has said to Dean what needed to be said.

        “That was still really messed up.”  Adam says at the end.  “Just so you know.”  

        “It’s not going to happen again.”  Dean says.  He knows it will takes some time for Cas to believe him fully, but that’s okay.  He has to prove to Cas that he can be trustworthy.

        Adam leaves after Dean reminds him he can’t breathe a word of what’s really going on with Meg to anyone.  Alone again with his mate, Dean feels a momentary flash of panic.  He’s got a lot of making up to do, and he’s honestly not sure what Cas wants right now.

        Luckily, Cas does know.  “Can we just stay here?”  He asks.  

        There’s a lot of things that Dean needs to do right now for his pack.  None of them are as important to him as making sure his mate is happy.  “Of course.”  Dean says.  They settle on the sofa in front of the fireplace.  Dean wraps an arm around Cas, holding his mate and pup close.  

        “Thanks, Cas.”  Dean says.  He doesn’t know how to explain himself better - to say thank you for Cas’s understanding, for his forgiveness, for his strength - but he hopes this is enough.

        Cas presses a kiss to Dean’s cheek.  “You’re my mate.”  He says quietly.  “I’m allowed to hate the things you do.  But I don’t hate you.  I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? 2 chapters in a week? I was actually feeling pretty inspired, so I hope you enjoy this chapter. The fallout with Sam, Jess, and Gabriel will be talked about in the next chapter and way more in the sequel.


	37. Chapter 37

            The next several days pass in an uneasy quiet.  Jess doesn’t speak to Sam for two full days.  Gabriel has been more forgiving, though Castiel knows how much his brother is still hurting.  Hell, Castiel is still hurting.  He’s accepted Dean’s apology and knows that his mate is honestly sorry for what he did.  That doesn’t make the hurt go away.  

            Things are okay between him and Dean.  Dean, thankfully, isn’t going overboard in trying to prove anything to Castiel.  He’s accepted that Castiel needs to convince himself that he can always trust Dean.  

            And the thing is, Castiel does trust Dean.  He trusts very few people - in fact, before he got to the Winchester Pack, Gabe was the only person he ever trusted whole-heartedly.  Dean, despite some stupid decisions, has proven to be just as trustworthy.  He wears his emotions on his sleeve, something Castiel will always be grateful for.  He likes knowing what his mate is feeling.  It’s made him feel safe from the very first night they met.  

            Dean does make a point in including Castiel in every discussion about what to do next.  Castiel watches as Jody heads off with the treaty to get in touch with Crowley.  He sits next to Dean as he meets with his advisors to talk about their next moves are.  The general consensus is that they need Raphael to make his next move.  It’s like a chess game, Sam says, and Castiel agrees.  It’s just an impossibly slow game.  

            Not that he’s particularly wishing for things to speed up.  He doesn’t want what comes next.  As the days pass, it seems more and more likely that fighting will be the only option.  If Raphael has sent two people to collect information on the Winchester Pack, there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that he’s planning on using it.  It’s just a matter of when.

            Castiel’s scared.  He tells Dean that one night after they settle Mary into bed.  Dean is sitting on the side of the bed.  His face draws tight with concern and worry and exhaustion.  

            “Me too.”  He says.  He holds out his arms, and Castiel steps between his legs and stares down at his mate.  Lines of worry crease his face.  Castiel traces one with his finger, gently smoothing it out.  

            “I’ve never - my old pack was never attacked.”  Castiel says.  “What’s it like?”

            Dean gives him a small, sad smile.  “The last time we were attacked, I was four years old.  I don’t remember a whole lot, other than being scared.  My mom, she gathered all the pups up and hid us far away from any danger.  I remember her pressing a kiss against my forehead and then leaving, and I was scared I’d never see her again.”

            Castiel swallows.  He’s never had a mother figure, let alone a mother, but he’s heard enough about Mary that sometimes it feels like he knows her.  

            “We could hear the fighting.  It was bad.  My dad and most of the alphas were gone.  It was omegas and betas fighting rogue alphas.  I don’t know how they fought them off, but they did.”

            “The pack was okay?”

            Dean shrugs.  “Not really.  We lost most of the omegas in the pack.  I was so little - I didn’t understand how bad it had gotten.  But I remember the blood in the hallways and in the courtyard.”

            “You’ve never told me that part.”  

            “I know.”  Dean takes a deep breath.  Castiel watches his mate, knowing that this is an important moment for Dean.  “I didn’t want to scare you.  And after everything you’ve been through, it didn’t seem important.”

            “My suffering doesn’t make yours any less.”  Castiel says firmly.  He nuzzles into Dean’s short hair.  “I’m sorry, though.  To see that as a little pup must have been terrifying.”

            “It was.”  Dean agrees.  For several minutes, they stay like that, Castiel in the space between Dean’s legs, face buried in his mate’s hair.  

            “I don’t want to go to bed yet.”  Castiel says.  “Can we go sit by the fire?”

            They end up on the sofa, Castiel curled up against Dean, talking.  It’s the first time since their fight that they’ve really had a moment like this, and Castiel savors every second.  He likes just spending time with his mate.  They can forget about the worries that leading a pack entails.  They can put aside the bad memories that overwhelm Castiel sometimes.  They can just be mates, and it’s nice.

            Dean presses a kiss against Castiel’s mating mark, and Castiel shivers.  He tips his head backwards, asking for a kiss.  Dean obliges and Castiel quickly deepens the kiss.  He sighs a little when they break apart for air, chasing Dean’s lips.  

            “Cas?”  Dean asks, a little uncertain, like he’s not sure if this is really what Castiel wants.  

            “I need to feel you.”  Castiel says.  Dean smiles and helps him turn so he’s straddling Dean’s lap.  Dean’s hands come up to cup his face as they start kissing again.

            “I love you.”  Dean says as he peppers kisses along Castiel’s neck and shoulders.  He kisses Castiel’s mating mark again, sucking and nipping at the skin until it bruises.  “I love every inch of you, angel.”

            Castiel’s hands are shaking as he tries to undo the buttons of Dean’s shirt.  He’s too turned on to focus much on the task, though he does want to see Dean shirtless.  

            “I love you.”  Castiel responds.  Dean grins at him.  

            “I said it first.”  He teases.  He helps Castiel with the last few buttons before turning his attention to Castiel’s clothes.  His hands are steadier and he makes quick work of the buttons.  “There.”

            Ever since their first night together, Castiel has loved the feeling of Dean’s skin touching his own, loves the way he can feel Dean’s arousal humming through his body.  Loves seeing Dean’s muscles and knowing that his mate is big and strong and will always protect him.  Dean uses his strength to keep Castiel safe, to wrap him up and comfort him and shield him from the rest of the world when things get to be too much.  

            “What’re you thinking about?”  Dean asks as he twines their hands together.

            “You.”  Castiel answers honestly.  “My mate, my alpha.  You.”

            Dean actually blushes - though from arousal or something else, Castiel can’t tell.  “What about me?”  He asks, but before Castiel can answer, his mate is drawing him closer for another, more heated kiss.

            “Just - you.”  Castiel has a hard time figuring out how to describe it.  “How you make me feel loved and safe and everything.”  He shrugs and looks down to where their hands are still laced together.  “How you make me feel complete.”

            “Cas-”  Dean says, his voice breaking.  Castiel looks up to see that Dean has tears in his eyes and a sappy smile on his face.  “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, you know that?”

            Castiel knows he’s smiling like an idiot, but that’s okay.  He’s happy.  “I should be saying that to you.”  He says.  “You saved me, Dean.  In so many ways.”

            Dean’s still all teary-eyed.  “Cas.”  He says.  It’s only one word, but Castiel knows what Dean is trying to say.  

            “You’re a sap.”  Castiel tells his mate and kisses him before he can argue.  

            He can feel Dean smile into the kiss.  Castiel wraps his arms around his mate, wanting to be as close as possible.  He can feel the rise and fall of Dean’s chest, his breathing turning more ragged.  Castiel rolls his hips, feeling Dean half-hard beneath him.  He likes that he can do this to his mate.  

            Dean lets out a low growl and Castiel grins at him.  “Gonna fuck me?”  He asks bluntly.

            Dean shakes his head, and for a moment Castiel’s confused.  “Gonna cherish every inch of you.”  Dean says instead.  “Gonna show you how much you mean to me.”

            And he does.  Their kisses turn deeper and more heated, but stay gentle.  Dean’s touch is feather-light as he runs his hands through Castiel’s hair and down his back.  They untangle from each other briefly to undress the rest of the way, the few seconds that pass enough to have Castiel mourning the loss of Dean’s touch.  But then Dean is pulling him back on his lap.  He’s kissing Castiel again, pulling soft noises of pleasure from him.  

            Dean runs a single finger around the edge of Castiel’s hole.  He’s gentle as he presses it inside Castiel, just enough to gather up some slick.  The finger goes back to tracing the rim of Castiel’s hole, dipping back inside every so often.  Dean keeps talking through it all.

            “You are beautiful.”  Dean says, wonder in his voice that has Castiel blushing.  Castiel ducks his head, hiding his face against Dean’s shoulder.  “Hey, now.  None of that.  You’re my beautiful mate, Cas.”

            Castiel scents Dean, breathing in that wonderful scent of _home_ before lifting his head again.  Dean presses inside of him again, this time with two fingers.  Castiel is already dripping with slick, but he knows that’s not what Dean’s worried about.  When Dean gets it in his head that he’s going to do something, he does it right.  

            By the time Dean has worked up to three fingers, Castiel is shaking with the effort not to come on Dean’s fingers alone.  He wants to feel all of Dean inside of him, wants that perfect feeling that only comes when Dean knots him.

            “Dean, please.”  Castiel manages to get out.  His mate smiles at him.  “Wanna feel you inside me.”

            Dean listens to Castiel’s pleas.  He arranges Castiel on the couch, laying him sideways and kneeling over him.  He ducks down to kiss Castiel again before slowly sliding inside Castiel.

            Sometimes, when they have sex, it’s hard and fast and intense.  Sometimes, it’s slow and tender.  This, though, is a mixture of the two.  It’s intense and tender and everything Castiel didn’t know he needed.  It’s Dean promising him that he’s always going to be there.  It’s them, connected together through a bond more powerful than either one of them is alone.

            Dean keeps up a steady pace, rolling his hips against Castiel.  They keep kissing and breaking apart to breathe only to seek out each other’s mouths again.  Dean nips playfully against Castiel’s lip, making Castiel grin.  This is a different kind of having sex, a different kind of making out.  It’s playful and serious all at once.  It’s a million sensations, too much and not enough.  It’s, Castiel thinks hazily, perfect.  Exactly what he needed - wanted - from his mate.  

            Dean knots Castiel and holds him tight against his body as Castiel comes.  Castiel feels his mate’s arms wrap around him and he nuzzles sleepily into the crook of Dean’s shoulder.  “Love you.”  He says.  

            He feels Dean’s answering grin against his own skin.  “Love you too.”  

            Though they’re both tired, the couch isn’t exactly the most comfortable spot to sleep.  So instead they talk, quiet whispers of love and warmth.  The dancing light from the fire makes Castiel think again of that first night.  He had not known then - could not even dream of it - that he would have an alpha, a mate as wonderful as Dean.  But here they were.  

            Eventually they move to their bed.  Dean cleans them both up, his touch just as gentle as it was when he was working Castiel open.  He arranges the blankets around Castiel before climbing in himself.  Castiel rolls over so he can tuck himself in against his mate.  Dean’s breath is hot on his neck.  

            They’re both almost asleep when Castiel realizes there’s something he needs to tell Dean.

            “I trust you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! This chapter just did not want to be written for the longest time, but I finally got it where I wanted it. Hope you like it!


	38. Chapter 38

            Dean wakes up the next morning feeling like he could take on the world.  Cas trusts him again, really trusts him.  He kisses the top of Cas’s head - the only part of him visible under the pile of blankets he insists on sleeping with - and gets out of bed.  It’s not particularly early, but Mary is still sound asleep in her cradle.  

            There’s a soft knock on the door.  Dean frowns, wondering who it could be.  “Yes?”  He asks, opening the door.  

            Kevin stands in the hall, not looking much better than the first time Dean saw him.  There’s a guard a few steps behind him.  

            “Can we talk?”  Kevin asks hesitantly.  “I’m sorry to bother you.  I just figured that now would be a time you weren’t as busy.”

            Dean wishes he could say no, that he could spend a few more hours away from dealing with pack issues.  Clearly, though, that’s not the case.  

            “Give me five minutes.”  He tells Kevin.  Back in his room, he’s quick to wash up and dress.  He leaves a note for Cas explaining where he is.

            Kevin falls in step next to Dean as they head for the council rooms and Dean’s private office.  His scent is a steady hum of nerves and fear, occasionally spiking up as his anxiety gets the best of him.  Dean hates the scent of fear - it reminds him too much of what Cas smelled like at the beginning, when he’d be afraid of Dean hurting him.  Dean longs to comfort the beta, but he doesn’t want to say anything while they’re in the hall and anyone can hear them.  It’s not until they’re settled in his office that he speaks.

            “What’s going on?”  
            “No one is telling us anything.  One minute, Meg’s telling Castiel that she was sent here to spy on your pack, and the next minute I’m being told she’s dead.  My friends, my mom - we’re scared.”

            Dean looks at the beta.  He’s put on some much needed weight since he first came here, but it’s clear he hasn’t been sleeping well for several nights.  There are dark circles under his eyes.  Dean feels a pang of sympathy.  Kevin isn’t much older than Adam, but he, too, was forced to take on more than anyone his age should have.

            “I can’t tell you what happened with Meg.”  Dean says, hating to see how Kevin’s face just drops at the words.  “But you, your mother, and Charlie are all safe.  That I can promise you.”

            Kevin sighs.  “I figured you wouldn’t be able to say much.”  He says.  He rubs at his face.  “Thanks, though.”

            Dean watches him for a moment.  “In your old pack - were there a lot of people who were against Raphael?”

            Kevin doesn’t seem surprised at the change of topic.  “Quietly, sure.  But as it became clear he was coming to power, people were careful not to say much.  Charlie came to me after her mate was imprisoned.  Said she had to get out.  I figured it was time to leave.”

            Dean nods.  “I’m sorry about Meg.”  

            “Yeah.”  Kevin says.  He smiles, though there’s no happiness behind it.  “Me too.”

 

            Time passes slowly over the next week.  They’re in a holding pattern, waiting to hear back from Crowley so they can figure out what the next step should be.  Finally - _finally_ \- Jody returns, bearing Crowley’s response.  

            Cas is sitting next to Dean, leaning forward so he can read the letter at the same time Dean does.  Beneath the table, his hand is clasped in Dean’s.  Dean wants to protect Cas from this, but he can’t.  All he can do is stay next to his mate and be strong for him.  

            “He’s sending soldiers.”  Cas says quietly.  “So he thinks there will be a war too?”

            Dean nods.  “I asked him to send some if he thought there was a threat.”  He says.  He squeezes Cas’s hand.  “He’s far enough away that his pack isn’t at risk, and having the extra soldiers will be good for us just in case something happens.”

            Dean’s biggest fear - one that he can’t yet bring himself to voice to anyone, not even Cas - is that they’ll end up fighting on two fronts.  Raphael’s pack lands border his, and that’s the likely stage for any battle between his pack and Raphael’s.  But he’s worried that the Novak pack will use Raphael’s attack as a way to attack as well, while the Winchester pack has fewer soldiers available.  

            He needs to say something, though, because it’s a very possible situation that the others in the room have to consider.  

            “We-”  His voice cracks.  Shit.  “We need to consider the possibility that the Novak pack will use any fighting with Raphael to exploit our weaknesses and attack as well.”

            The room immediately fills with the scent of scared, angry omega.  Next to him, Cas has frozen.  Across the table, Gabriel pushes back his chair and stands.

            “You said they were too far away.”  Gabriel accuses Sam.

            At the same time, Cas speaks.  “You promised.”  He whispers.  “You said I wouldn’t have to see them ever again.”

            Dean’s heart is breaking, and it only takes a quick glance at his brother to see that Sam feels the same way.  “I didn’t know about Raphael.”  He says.  “I’m sorry, Cas - Gabriel - but I had to at least bring up the possibility.  We have to have a plan if it does happen.”

            Cas nods, though the panic in his eyes doesn’t subside any.  Gabriel stands for another moment before letting out a muffled sob and letting Sam pull him into his arms.  

            “So what do we do now?”  Cas asks.  

            “Information from our soldiers at the border should be arriving any day.”  Bobby says.  “Once we know what’s going on, we can decide if we need to send more troops there.”

            They talk for another hour, discussing every possibility, every situation that could occur.  It’s not fun.  Dean’s never had to lead his pack through something so serious.  But Crowley’s letter indicates what Dean already expected - that Raphael was dangerous and unstable.  That he was hungry for power and not concerned about who he had to hurt to get it.

 

            Things come to a head three days later.  It’s a bitterly cold morning and still dark outside when Dean is woken up and told that the reports from the border have come back.  Cas is sleepy-eyed but insists on coming with Dean to the council rooms.  There, with Mary in her sling and asleep tucked against Dean’s chest, the two of them read the words that they were hoping they wouldn’t have to.

            “Raphael’s going to attack.”  Cas says.  He’s taking big, gulping breaths, trying to calm himself down.  It’s not working.  Dean wraps his arms around his mate, guiding Cas to his neck so he can scent Dean.  Eventually, his breathing slows.  

            Dean rubs gentle circles on his mate’s back.  “I’m sorry.”  He says.  It doesn’t feel like nearly enough.  This is one of the men who tortured his mate, who made Cas feel like he wasn’t worth anything.  “I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure he doesn’t succeed.”

            Cas nods.  “I know.”  He says quietly.  “I know.”

            “I’m going to go to the border.”  Dean says.  

            Cas jerks out of his hold.  “What?”  He demands to know.  Mary wakes up and starts crying, startled by the sudden fear and anger in the room.

            “I have to, Cas.  I can’t let my pack fight without being there.”

            Cas swipes angrily at a tear.  “I need you.”  He says.  “Dean, please.”

            Dean feels like crying himself.  Maybe he already is crying.  He can’t tell.  “Cas, it wouldn’t be fair.”

            “Life isn’t fair.”  Cas shouts over Mary’s crys.  “If you’ve learned anything about my past, it’s that life isn’t fair.”

            Now he’s definitely crying.  “I know.”  He tells his mate.  “It’s not.  But you and I both know that it’s the right thing to do.”

            Cas seems to deflate.  “What am I going to do without you?”  He asks.  His voice is small.  He sounds defenseless and scared, just like he did when he first came to the Winchester pack.  

            “You’re going to be strong.”  Dean says.  “You’re going to show this pack that you are a leader too.  You’re going to prove to everyone that you aren’t going to let your past drag you down anymore.”

            “And you’ll come back?”  Cas asks, barely loud enough for Dean to hear.  And that’s it, right there - Cas’s worst fear.  Dean’s sure of it.

            “I will always come back.”  Dean promises.  “Always, Cas.”

            Slowly, as others arrive to read the report and discuss what to do, Cas calms down.  It’s decided that Dean and Sam will both go to the border, along with another contingent of soldiers, plus the soldiers Crowley sent.  Bobby will remain at the castle to deal with the everyday pack issues that come up in Dean’s absence.  

            It’s not a cheerful discussion.  Though Dean is confident his pack is stronger than Raphael’s, he still hates the idea of any sort of fighting.  People are going to get hurt.  He also has to face the reality that he may lose some of his soldiers - some of his pack.  It reminds him of the weeks of mourning after the pack was attacked when he was a kid.  

            It takes another day to prepare.  The morning he’s to leave, Cas refuses to let go of him when they wake up.  He’s wrapped around Dean, his face buried in Dean’s neck.  

            “I’m going to miss you.”  Cas says, his voice muffled.  “Don’t be away for long, okay?”

            “I’ll do my best.”  Dean promises.  From the reports, Raphael’s assembled about a hundred soldiers at the border.  Dean plans on evacuating the closest village and sending a warning to Raphael that his aggression will not be tolerated.  

            “I love you.”  Cas whispers.  His whole body shudders as he tries not to cry.  “I know you have to do this, but please stay safe.  I don’t want people dying because of me.”

            That makes Dean pause.  “Cas, no one’s going to die because of you.  What do you mean by that?”

            “If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be worried about Raphael.”

            “That’s not true.”  Dean says.  Cas doesn’t seem convinced.  “Look, Cas, I’m plenty mad at what Raphael did to you.  But I’m going to the border because he’s threatening my pack lands.  That’s all.  Whatever else may happen is not on you.  It’s on Raphael.  He made the decision to bring troops to the border.  He has to deal with the consequences.”

            Cas takes a deep breath.  “Promise?”

            “Of course.”  Dean says.  “Promise.”

            Cas pulls away from Dean a bit and stares down at the blankets on the bed.  “I want him to die.”  He says.  He starts crying.  “I’m a horrible person for thinking that.”

            Dean gathers Cas back into his arms.  “No, baby.  He and your old pack Alpha did awful things to you and to the other omegas in your pack.  It’s okay to hate him that much.”

            “What am I going to do without you?”  Cas asks, not for the first time this week.  “Dean, I can’t do this.”

            “Yes, you can.”  Dean reassures him, even though his heart is breaking and every part of his being wants to forget about the threats of the outside world and just stay with Cas.  “You’re my strong mate, and you can do this.  I believe in you.”

            Cas’s tears dry up briefly, just long enough for them to get through breakfast.  He spends the entire time pressed up against Dean’s side and scenting him often.  Dean does the same, wanting to inhale that perfect scent of his mate that he’ll miss while he’s gone.  

            It finally comes time for them to say goodbye.  Dean is holding back tears.  Though he wants to cry at the thought of leaving his mate for an unknown amount of time - probably a month, but that could change - he knows he has to be strong for Cas right now.  

            “I left some shirts for you and Mary, for my scent.”  Dean tells Cas.  He’s holding his mate tightly against him, Mary safely sandwiched between them.  

            “Thank you.”  Cas says.  He cups Dean’s face between his hands, looking at Dean like he’s trying to memorize every inch of his face.  “I’m going to miss you.”

            “I’m going to miss you too.”  Dean says.  He pulls Cas in for a kiss.  He can feel the tears on Cas’s cheek.  “I love you, Cas.”  He presses a soft kiss to Mary’s forehead, breathing in her sweet scent.  “I love you, little princess.”

            “I love you.”  Cas manages to get out.  Dean gives him one last hug before reluctantly letting go.

            Sam wraps an arm around Dean as they head outside.  Neither of them can speak.  Dean’s heart hurts too much for words to explain.  Dean glances back just before the door closes behind them.  Cas, Gabriel, and Jess are huddled together.  All three are crying.  One by one, they raise their hands and wave goodbye.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter isn't the most exciting, but a lot of is coming up in the next few chapters. Things are going to heat up very quickly now. I think we're finally nearing the end (sorta).


	39. Chapter 39

Castiel watches Dean and the others until their horses are no longer visible, having disappeared into the forest that surrounds the castle.  Mary is letting out soft, confused little noises.  He rocks her gently, the motion as much to soothe himself as it is to calm his daughter.

            “Now what?”  Gabriel asks next to him.  His normally bright smile is gone, replaced by tear-streaked cheeks.

            “I – I don’t know.”  Castiel says.  

            Jess doesn’t speak.  She just reaches out silently and takes Gabriel’s hand, then Castiel’s.  They stand there in the hall, uncertain of what they are supposed to do now.  Castiel has never felt so lost.

            Adam is the one to finally rescue them.  “I asked Ellen to send some hot chocolate up to your room, Jess.”  He says.  “How about we go up there?”

            Having someone else tell him what to do sounds good to Castiel.  He follows the others up to the room Jess, Gabe, and Sam share.  The three omegas snuggle up together on the sofa.  Adam takes a seat nearby.  He looks older than his fourteen years, like he feels that it’s his job to make sure his half-brothers’ mates are okay.  His concern is sweet, and for the moment Castiel is okay with letting Adam tell him what to do.

            He never thought being apart from his mate would be so hard.  His heart hurts.  He feels alone and scared.  It’s awful.  

            Mary’s little face scrunches up as she stares at him.  “It’s okay.”  He whispers to Mary, though he knows he’s the one who needs to be convinced more than his daughter.  “We’ll be alright.  Your daddy will come back.”

            Jess lets out a sob.  “I hate this.”  She wails.  She buries her face in Gabriel’s shoulder.  

            Castiel knows he has to be strong.  He also knows that it feels like half of him is missing.  He’s not sure which side to give into.  He leans into Gabriel and gently smooths back Mary’s little wisps of hair.  

            They stay like that for what could possibly be hours.  Castiel isn’t sure.  They’re mostly silent, lost in their own thoughts and fears, though at times the silence is broken by a sob.  

            Castiel finally realizes something.  He can sit here and feel sorry for himself, or he can get on with his life.  Being sad and miserable isn’t going to bring Dean back home any sooner.  But there could be something he could be doing to help his mate, instead of just sitting around.  

            “I’m going to see Bobby.”  He says, standing.  

            Gabriel looks at him.  “Go ahead.”  He says flatly.  “I - I want to stay here.  I’m not ready to leave Sam’s scent.”  

            Castiel leans down to hug his brother and press a kiss to Jess’s cheek.  “I understand.”  He reassures Gabriel.  “I just need something to do.”

            Adam joins him for the walk to find Bobby.  “Are you okay?”  He asks Castiel.  “I mean, I know you’re upset that Dean had to leave, and I get that, but-”

            “I survived without an alpha - a kind one - for a long time.”  Castiel says quietly.  “I’m just scared that my mate will get hurt or - or - or -”  He can’t finish the sentence.

            “Dean’s coming back.”  Adam says.  

            “I know.”  Castiel says.  “But it’s still scary.  When you mate, you’ll understand.”

            Adam gives him a funny half-smile.  “That seems a long way away.”  He says.  “I’m still a pup.”

            “True.”  Castiel says, and for a moment the conversation turns lighter.  It’s a welcome break from the dark cloud that’s been hanging over his head since Dean left.  But all too soon, they’ve arrived at Bobby’s study and the mood changes once again.

            Bobby takes one look at Castiel and shakes his head.  “Hell, Cas, you know I’m no good with feelings.  Why don’t you go see Ellen?”

            Castiel smiles a little at that.  “No feelings, I promise.”  He says.  “I just need something to do.  I need to know I’m helping Dean from here.  Please?”

            Bobby appraises him for a moment.  “Okay.”  He says.  “Okay.  Let’s see.”

            There are things for him to do, as it turns out.  With all that’s been going on, the pack isn’t as prepared as it needs to be for the remainder of winter.  Castiel spends the day with Bobby, going over lists of supplies and head counts.  Bobby’s concerned about possibly having to take in more people from other packs.  They have plenty of food for everyone who’s at the castle now, but a sudden influx of people could mean that they’d have to go hunting.  

            It’s a nice distraction, but when night falls and Castiel says his goodbyes for the day, he’s hit with an overwhelming sadness.  He hasn’t slept on his own in months.  He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to sleep tonight.

            Ash falls in step behind him as Castiel heads upstairs.  Benny had gone with Dean, and Castiel is glad that he at least has one familiar face guarding him through the night.  Ash, normally one to be cracking jokes, is mostly silent though, his own concern etched on his face.  

            Castiel gets ready for bed and busies himself washing and changing Mary.  She’s been fussy all day - no surprise, really, given the mood that Castiel is in.  He sings to her, rocking her gently in his arms.  Does all the things that a good father is supposed to do.  Tucks her into her cradle, draping a warm fur blanket over her tiny body to keep her warm through the night.  Mary’s tired enough that she settles down without much protest.  

            Now Castiel feels alone and uncertain.  He doesn’t know what to do next.  He glances around the room, his eyes landing on the shirt Dean had left thrown over the back of a chair.  He grabs it and holds it to his face.  It smells like Dean, that rich fire-tinged scent that makes Castiel just want to bury his face in Dean’s chest.  But Dean isn’t here, won’t be here for several weeks.  

            Castiel climbs into bed and settles on his side.  It feels too big, too empty.  For several minutes he stays still, trying to fall asleep.  It doesn’t work.  He starts twisting and turning.  Nothing feels right.  He crawls over to Dean’s side, but that just makes things worse.  Now he’s too far away from his pup and missing his mate.  He rolls back onto his side.  

            Time passes slowly, the sky outside going from dark to pitch black.  There’s a howling wind that has Castiel shivering.  He finally gives up.  He wraps a fur around himself and gets out of bed.  Mary, to his surprise, is awake.  She sees him and reaches out.  

            “Come on, pup.”  Castiel lifts her out of the cradle and carries her over to the couch.  They settle in front of the fireplace, Castiel laying on the couch and Mary resting on his chest.  It doesn’t take long for the steady rise and fall of Castiel’s chest to lull Mary back to sleep.  Castiel isn’t able to do the same.  He spends most of the night wide awake, trying not to let his thoughts turn too scary.  It mostly works.

            Dawn comes eventually, and Castiel can’t stay here alone any longer.  He knows that the kitchens at least will be busy by now.  He gives Mary her bottle and changes her, dressing her in one of the sweet little outfits that Jess had given them.  He sets her down just long enough to dress himself.  He hesitates for a minute before grabbing one of Dean’s clean shirts and putting it on.  It’s too big, but at least it still smells faintly like his mate.

            Ellen takes one look at him and sighs.  “Oh, Cas.”  She wraps Castiel in a tight hug, the type of hug that he imagines a mother would give.  “Didn’t sleep a wink, did you?”

            “No.”  Castiel admits.  

            “Well, at least have some tea.”  Ellen sits him down and hands him a steaming mug of tea.  “Did Mary sleep?”

            “Yeah.  She was a little restless, but not nearly as bad as me.”

            Ellen gives him a half-smile.  “It’s hard, being without your mate.”

            Castiel looks up at her.  “I’m sorry.”  He says.  Dean told him once that Ellen’s mate had died not long after Jo was born, in the attack on the castle.  

            “Don’t be sorry.  It was a long time ago.”  Ellen says briskly.  “And that mate of yours will be back before you know it.”

            Castiel tries to believe her, but it’s hard.  He feels lost without Dean, and then he feels angry at himself for being so weak.  He got through the majority of his life without Dean.  He can go a few weeks.

            Gabriel isn’t much better.  He spends the next three days in his room with Jess, the two not even leaving for meals with the rest of the pack.  Castiel is almost angry at him, but he knows that Gabe is struggling as much as he is.  He can’t be mad about that.

            The pack who is left at the castle is understandably concerned that their Pack Alpha was worried enough about a threat that he went out himself to take care of it.  Castiel spends much of his days with Bobby, talking to pack members and reassuring people that they still have plenty of soldiers to keep the castle safe.  Memories of that long-ago attack on the castle are still strong and have many people worried.  

            Dean’s been gone a week and a half when the storm rolls in.  It starts out with howling winds that wake Castiel in the middle of the night.  Mary starts crying at the noise.  Castiel climbs out from under the warm covers long enough to grab her and bring her back to bed with him.  She tucks her little body into a ball, looking much like she did in those first few days, when she was still in her wolf form.  

            His thoughts, as they often do when he’s alone late at night, go to Dean.  He wonders if Dean is somewhere safe, somewhere warm.  He misses Dean.  

            Castiel drifts back off to sleep that night thinking of his mate and listening to the tiny snores of his pup.  

            Morning comes, and the winds have brought in more than just the cold.  Snow is rapidly piling up outside the castle.  Castiel watches it fall from the window in his room.  Mary is entranced by the snowflakes.

            Gabriel and Jess are at breakfast this morning.  Adam joins them a few minutes later.  “I was thinking.”  Adam says.  “Does anyone want to go play in the snow?”

            Castiel doesn’t know what to say, mainly because he doesn’t understand the question.  Snow is cold and wet.  Why would he want to play in it?  A look over at Gabriel shows that his omega-brother shares the same feelings, but Jess brightens up considerably at Adam’s suggestion.

            “Yes!”  She says.  

            With some trepidation, Castiel leaves Mary with Ellen and dresses for going outside.  Even in all his layers, he’s not ready for the blast of cold air that greets him when they step into the courtyard.  

            Jess picks up some snow and mounds it into a ball.  She flings the snow at Gabriel, who ducks in time so it hits Adam instead.  The young beta yelps as the snow hits him.  “I’ll get you for that.”  He warns, picking up his own handful of snow.

            Castiel and Gabriel look on, more bemused than anything else, for a few moments.  Jess and Adam are chasing each other around the courtyard, pelting each other with snow.  It’s not until Adam launches a snowball right at Castiel that he finally decides it’s time to try it out for himself.  

            Soon, he and Gabriel have joined in.  The noise gets the attention of others in the pack, and they are joined by several young pups and a few older pack members as well.  Castiel is out of breath and sweaty - somehow - when they finally take a break.  He’s surprised to realize they’ve spent most of the morning playing in the snow.  

            “Thank you.”  Castiel says to Adam as they trudge inside.  Ellen is there to meet them, scolding them about tracking too much snow through the castle.  Castiel sheds his outer layers and takes Mary back.  His pup is decidedly not impressed with his cold cheeks and hands.

            “We needed to have some fun.”  Adam says in reply.  Castiel didn’t realize until that moment how true that was.  The whole pack has felt on edge since Dean and Sam left.  Even a few hours of fun brightened up the mood of the entire castle.

            The morning was a welcome distraction, but as afternoon fades into evening and the storm shows no signs of stopping, the earlier laughter gives way to concern.  Castiel is sitting with Bobby in the older man’s office.  Bobby’s holding Mary, alternating between reading a report and playing peekaboo with the pup.  

            “This storm could get bad.”  Bobby says.  “There’s two feet of snow on the ground already.”

            “What happens if we get snowed in?”

            “We have enough food to last us, don’t worry about that.  It’s more about the castle security that I’m worried about.  We can’t see worth a damn through the snow.  And I’m worried about the temperatures dropping any more than they already have.”

            Bobby’s concerns seem to come true by the next day.  Castiel comes down to breakfast to find out that there’s another foot of snow and no sign of it stopping.  The guards say it’s impossible to see more than a few feet in front of them.  And even the Great Hall, normally toasty warm, has a chill in the air.  

            “We can’t heat the whole castle.”  Bobby says.  “I’ll let you make the final call, Cas, but I think it’s best if we start moving everyone to the Great Hall and focusing on keeping that and the kitchens warm.”

            “Why are you letting me make the call?”  Castiel asks, surprised.  He trusts Bobby, knows the man has been handling pack affairs for decades now.

            “You’re Dean’s mate.”  Bobby says, like it should be that simple.  

            Castiel feels overwhelmed.  Up until a few months ago, when he mated Dean, he hadn’t been allowed to make any choices for himself.  Now he’s supposed to make one for the whole pack.  

            He takes a deep breath.  Bobby has given him good advice.  All he has to do is follow it.  That’s what Dean does, after all.  “Okay.  Let’s do that.”

            By nightfall, the Great Hall has been transformed.  The tables have all been pushed to one side of the room, and the floor is covered in cushions, furs, and blankets.  Roaring fires and close quarters make the room feel much warmer.  The pack is treating this more like a giant party than being forced to sleep in one room.  Rounds of laughter break out every so often as people filter in and get comfortable.

            Castiel settles in for the night at the far edge of the room.  He’s unsettled by this.  He wants to be in his room, where it still smells like Dean, not here, with all these people.  Something else is making him uneasy, but he can’t figure out what until Gabriel sits down next to him.

            “Feels like the damn compound where they kept us, you know?”  Gabriel says, looking around the room.  “More amenities, sure, but-”  He trails off and shrugs.

            And it does feel like the omega compound in their old pack.  There had been cots, but other than that, it’s much the same.  No wonder, Castiel thinks, that he feels so uneasy.  He prays that he doesn’t have a bad dream or fall back in his own mind to the past.  Not in front of the whole pack.  They’ll think he’s weak and unfit to be Dean’s mate.

            He realizes he’s already starting to spiral into a dark place, and he pushes those thoughts as far out of his mind as possible.  Instead, he tries to focus on what’s happening right this moment.  Jess and Adam are arguing over who gets to hold Mary.  Gabriel looks uneasy himself, his blankets drawn tight around his still-thin frame.  Jo has settled in next to Jess, though she doesn’t seem overly interested in joining that argument.  

            It’s going to be okay, Castiel tells himself.  This is just for a night or two, until the storm blows over.  Eventually, the pack starts to quiet as the youngest pups fall asleep.  The rest of the pack isn’t too far behind.  

            Castiel kisses Mary’s head, nuzzling into her soft hair, and wishes her a good night’s sleep before he closes his own eyes and hopes he’ll get through the night without anything going wrong.

           

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some bits of fluff and angst before things get too serious. Sorry for the long wait for this chapter - I started school and lost track of how long it had been since I updated! Things are really going to heat up in the next chapter, and I'm going to try to get that written as soon as possible. I make no promises, though! We're very close to the end - hard to believe!


	40. Chapter 40

            It’s nearing dawn when Castiel is woken by shouts and screams and the scent of fear.  He’s alert instantly, drawing Mary to his chest and looking around for Ash.  The guard grabs him and pushes him towards one of the small hallways off the Great Hall.

            “What’s going on?”  Castiel asks.

            Ash shakes his head and tells Castiel to hurry.  “We’re under attack.”  He says bluntly.  Castiel nearly stops dead in his tracks, but Ash notices and pulls him along.  “Come on, I have to get you to safety.”

            “Who’s attacking us?”

            “I don’t know.”  Ash says.  “They used the blizzard as cover.  It’s like they were waiting for a storm to hit.”

            “How many attackers?”  
            “It’s still a near white out outside.”  Ash answers.  “We can’t tell.  Could be fifty, could be a few hundred.”  He turns a corner.  “They’ve already gotten inside the walls.  Somebody must have helped them.”

            Castiel thinks of Ruby and his heart sinks.  They’d been keeping an eye on her, sure that she’d make her excuses as soon as Dean left.  But she hadn’t.  They should have known something else was up.  

            The safe room ends up being off the kitchens, hidden behind a door in the pantry.  “Don’t come out unless a Winchester guard you know gives you the all clear.”  Ash says.  

            “What about Gabe and Jess?  And Adam?  And-”

            “I will get as many of them as possible to safety.”  Ash promises.  “But my job is to keep you safe above anything else.”  

            With that, he’s gone.  Castiel is alone and scared out of his mind.  He cradles Mary in his arms and turns around to look at the room he’s apparently going to be staying in for the foreseeable future.  Not too long, he hopes.

            It’s most bare in here, with a stack of blankets in one corner and dried food in another.  Castiel paces the length of the room, trying to keep himself from losing it completely.  He can’t help but think of the attack the Winchester Pack suffered all those years ago.  He knows they’re stronger now.  Dean left behind plenty of soldiers and guards, strong alphas and betas who will defend the pack well.  It’s still terrifying.  

            Some minutes later, Ash shows up again, this time with several people.  Gabriel, Jess, and Adam are the first to come into the room.  Ellen is with them.  Dean’s advisors are as well.  So too are most of the pack’s pups.  Some are still babies, like Mary, but the rest range from toddlers to close to Adam’s age.  

            “Ash-”  Castiel says.  “What do we do?”

            The guard grimaces.  “They’ve killed three of our soldiers.”  He says quietly, so the others don’t hear him.  “Their banners are in view.  It appears to be your old pack.”  

            Castiel’s vision starts to go black.  His old pack Alpha is here, killing members of his new, wonderful pack.  He can’t let this happen.  “Can we stop them?”  He asks.

            “We don’t have a choice.  We have to.”  Ash says, and if a battle could be determined by pure will, Castiel knows they’d win.  But they don’t even know how many soldiers the Novak pack came with.  

            Ash leaves again.  Castiel turns around to find most of the people in the room staring at him.  Several of the pups are crying for their parents.  

            “We,”  Castiel says, loud enough for everyone to hear him, “are under attack.  Our soldiers will keep us safe.  I want everyone to stay calm.”  Of course, he feels like crying himself.  But that’s not going to do him any good right now.  Instead, he sits on the floor and pulls one of the crying pups into his lap.  Mary fusses at the intrusion, but she settles as Castiel begins to rock both pups.  

            The others follow his lead.  Soon, the crying pups are at least quiet, if not comforted fully.  Castiel has two sleeping pups in his lap.  He leans against the wall next to Gabriel.

            “Gabe?”  He whispers.  His brother turns to look at him.  “I’m scared.”

            Fear is written across Gabriel’s face.  “Me too.”  He says.  “And part of me wants to be out there fighting.  I want to kill the bastard who put us through that hell.”

            “Yeah.”  Castiel agrees.  He spent long periods of time, back in his old pack, back when he was being whipped for something he didn’t do, wishing that the Novak Alpha would just up and die.  

            Time passes unbearably slowly.  It’s been a few hours - at least, Castiel thinks it’s been that long - when noises of fighting reach them.  Castiel draws Mary closer to his body.  It sounds like there’s fighting right outside the kitchen.  If they’re found, they’ll be slaughtered instantly.  

            “Gabriel, you have to promise me something.”  He says urgently.  

            “Anything.”

            “If something happens to me, you’ll watch out for Mary, right?”

            Gabriel looks like he might cry.  “Cassie, I’d protect her with my life.”  He says.  “But nothing is going to happen to you.  Don’t even go down that road.”

            There’s a crash outside the door.  Everyone falls silent, even the littlest pups seeming to know that they must be quiet.  There’s yelling and screams, the sort that come when someone’s last breath is forced out of their body.  Castiel wishes he didn’t have to hear that.  He wishes these pups wouldn’t always have this memory burned into their minds.

            He makes a decision.  “I’m shifting.”  He hisses to Gabriel.  “I can do more damage as a wolf.”

            His brother pauses for a moment, like he’s about to argue, but then he agrees.  “Let’s do it.”

            The plan quickly ripples through the room.  The oldest of Dean’s advisors - the ones left over from his father’s days - won’t shift.  They’ll stay with the pups and keep them as far away from danger as possible.  Everyone else in the room shifts.  For the first time, Castiel is able to shift with ease.  Maybe there’s something to be said about his instincts, because right now, they are screaming at him to protect his pup, his family, his pack.  

            The shifted wolves form a barrier around the pups and the few pack members who didn’t shift.  There’s about ten of them.  Not many, but hopefully enough to put up a good fight if it comes down to it.  

            The noises outside seem to get even closer.  Castiel looks back one last time to see his daughter.  Mary is silent, staring at him with those beautiful big eyes of hers.  Castiel forces himself not to cry.  He’s going to protect his pup.  That’s all there is to it.  There’s no other option to be had.  

            There’s another crash, this one right against the door.  Another loud crash has the door buckling under the weight of something - someone - trying to get in.  The third time, the door splinters.  

            Castiel doesn’t wait to see who it might be.  Anyone going through the door by force isn’t part of their pack.  He leaps at the figure with a snarl.  They may not be as strong as the beta who just forced his way inside, but they have the element of surprise.  Castiel wastes no time, going directly for the man’s throat.  

            There’s no time to think about what he’s done, though.  There are more soldiers, all dressed in the Novak colors.  Castiel is joined by the other shifted wolves.  They dodge swords and find weak spots in the soldiers’ armour.  He leaps at the next target.  These are the alphas and betas who let the Novak alpha hurt him, hurt all those other omegas.  They’re here to hurt his pack.  He’s not going to let that happen.  

            Castiel lets out a yelp as he feels a sword bite into his side.  He turns, ready to attack, only to see Gabriel taking down the alpha wielding the sword.  Castiel hopes, twistedly, that the man had the chance to scent the air before he died.  He wants the Novak alphas, all the ones who were capable of stopping Michael but instead supported him, to know that it was an omega who brought them down.  

           It’s a surprisingly short fight.  The soldiers weren’t expecting anyone to put up a fight.  They fall, one by one.  In the distance, Castiel can hear shouting.  He braces himself for another round of fighting.  This time, though, it’s Winchester soldiers who come rushing in.  Jo is at the front of the group.  

           “Oh my god.”  Jo says as she takes in the scene.  

           Castiel looks around for the first time.  Maybe ten or fifteen Novak soldiers lay dead or dying around them.  Blood has pooled on the the floor.  Beyond, out in the kitchen, there are several Winchester soldiers in a similar state.  Castiel feels a pang of guilt.  Members of this pack died trying to protect him.  

           “Castiel?  It’s safe to shift.”  Jo says.  “These were the last of them.”

           Castiel shifts back, the others following suit.  He pulls on his pants, wincing as he realizes he’s got some nasty open wounds from when swords did manage to slice into him.  It’s only when he turns around that he sees Jess.

           She’s still in her wolf form.  There’s a cut slicing through her side, her blood bright and garish against her tawny fur.  She’s weak.  Gabriel has her head cradled in his lap.  He looks up, his eyes bright with tears.  “Don’t let her die.”  He pleads.

           There’s no time to think about his own injuries.  Castiel immediately joins his brother, using his shirt to slow the bleeding.  Distantly, he hears someone summoning a healer.  He hopes they have enough time.

           There’s a hand on his back.  He jumps, turning to see Jo.  “I’m sorry, Castiel.”  She says.  “We got here as fast as we could.  They never should have gotten this far.”

           “It’s not your fault.”  Castiel reassures her, though his focus remains on Jess.  “I know things got bad out there.”

           He looks up in time to see a grimace cross Jo’s face.  “Cas-”  She starts to say.  He realizes that there are tears in her eyes.  He realizes that, as a guard herself, she’s friends with many of the men and women who lay slain around the castle.  “Castiel, Ash is dead.”

           The world slows.  Ash has protected Cas from the very first day he arrived here at the Winchester pack.  He’s Dean’s friend.  He’s a good person.  And now he’s dead, killed by the same pack that has already inflicted too much pain on Castiel and his family.  

           “Jo, I’m sorry.”  Castiel says.  The words are too little, meaningless in all the horror that surrounds them.  Jo nods her thanks before looking away, undoubtedly trying to hide her tears.  

           Missouri bursts into the room then.  Blood stains her clothes.  She kneels next to Jess and carefully lifts Castiel’s shirt away from the wound.  Castiel leans into Gabriel, giving his brother as much comfort as he possibly can.  There’s nothing else he can do right now.  

           There’s movement around them as the others shift back and try to come to terms with what just happened.  Several of the pups are crying.  One of them is Mary.  Castiel is torn, unsure if he can leave Gabriel alone for even the few seconds it will take to go get his pup.  Thankfully, Ellen makes the decision for him and brings Mary over.  

           Mary’s little hand tightens around Castiel’s finger.  Her forehead is creased with concern and confusion, but she stops crying once she’s in Castiel’s arms.  

           “I’m going to have to sew Jess up.”  Missouri says a few moments later.  “The wound is longer than it is deep, thankfully.”

           “She’ll be okay?”  Gabriel asks - begs, really.  

           “As long as we get the wound closed.”  Missouri says.  

           Ellen touches Castiel’s shoulder.  “I know you want to stay with your brother, but the pack needs you too.”  She says quietly.  “Come on.”

           Castiel wants to refuse.  He wants to stay here and not see the horrors that undoubtedly wait beyond the door.  He wants to make sure Jess is okay, wants to stay with Gabe and give him support.  But he knows he can’t.  He owes it to the pack that welcomed him.  

           He’s not expecting to see Ash’s lifeless body just outside the door.  It’s one thing to hear that Ash is gone and another to see it.  He knows Ash died trying to keep him safe.  There’s no way Castiel will ever be able to thank him for his sacrifice, and that’s upsetting.

           “I’m sorry, Ash.”  Castiel says, kneeling next to Ash’s body.  “I’m so sorry.”

Ellen lets him stay there a minute, mourning, before she gently helps him back up to his feet.  “This is going to be hard.”  She says.  “But the Winchesters have survived before and we’ll survive this.  Remember that.”

           A full contingent of guards surround Castiel as he walks through the halls of the castle.  The scent of blood is heavy in the air.  It makes Castiel sick.  Mary sobs against his chest.  Pups are most sensitive to scents.  There’s no doubt in Castiel’s mind that his daughter knows that something absolutely awful happened.  

           Ellen leads him back to the Great Hall.  It’s turned into a giant infirmary.  The castle healers are busy trying to patch back together their pack.  Castiel is surprised to see that Kevin has joined the healers.  

           The room starts to fall silent as the pack realizes that Castiel is there.  He realizes they want him to say something, anything, and he realizes he doesn’t even know what happened.  Not fully.  He turns to Ellen.  

           “What do I say?”  He asks.  Just then, Bobby appears.  The older wolf is a little worse for wear, though the blood on his clothes appears to be that of someone else.  

           “You tell them that the Novak pack Alpha has been captured.”  He says.  

           Castiel is speechless.  His old Alpha has been captured.  The man that caused him so much pain and suffering is under Winchester pack control.  “Thank you.”  He manages to say.  There’s so much more he wants to say, but he doesn’t know how to thank someone for taking down the person that was behind so many horrible things.  Bobby pats him on the back, hesitates, and then hugs him.  

           Castiel walks to the center of the Great Hall.  His voice is choked up as he starts to speak.  “We were attacked by my old pack.”  He says.  “They came to bring misery and pain to the Winchester pack, and we didn’t let them.  Our brave soldiers and guards fought them off.  Some died protecting this pack.  We won’t ever forget their sacrifice.”  He has to pause to wipe away some tears.  “You all were so brave.  We will get through this, because we are the Winchester pack.”  He takes a deep breath.  “The man behind this attack - the Novak pack Alpha - has been captured.  He will face justice for what he has done to our pack.”

           Castiel turns back to Ellen.  He’s exhausted, he realizes.  He’s bloody and bare chested.  His pup is still crying.  He has wounds of his own that need to be looked at, but not until he’s sure that Jess is okay.  He wants to sit down.  He wants Dean, really, but that’s not an option right now.  He looks around at their pack and wonders how Dean will react.  He’ll be sad, of course, but Castiel knows his mate and worries that Dean will blame himself for not being there with his pack.

           “What now?”  Castiel asks.  “What do I do now?”

           “You lead.”  Bobby says.  Castiel flounders at that.  He’s more inclined to hide in his room, but he can’t do that to his pack.  Not after all they’ve done for him and all they’ve been through today.  

           “Right.  Okay.”  Castiel looks around.  He thinks of Dean and what his mate would do in this situation.  Dean would be with his pack, providing comfort and leadership.  He’d also have his brother at his side.  Castiel can’t possibly take Gabriel away from Jess, not when she’s so hurt.  But there is someone who he does trust to help him.

           “I need Adam.”  He says.  

           Bobby nods and sends a guard to get the young beta.  Adam arrives a few minutes later, just as shaken as the rest of the pack but with that glint of determination in his eyes that marks him as a true Winchester.

           “I’ll do anything you need.”  Adam tells Castiel.

           “We need to show that the Winchester packs are united in this.”  Castiel says.  Adam nods his agreement.  “And we need to make sure the pack is okay.”  He turns to Bobby.  “Where is Michael being held?”

           “In the dungeon, along with all of his soldiers that surrender.  There’s maybe forty of them.”  Bobby says.  

           “Okay.”  Castiel takes a deep breath.  “I’m - I’m not ready to face him.”  He admits.  He doesn’t know how he’ll react actually seeing the alpha that tortured him for so many years.  “Can we focus on the pack?  
            “Yeah.  He’s not going anywhere.”  

           Castiel gives Bobby a shaky smile.  “Good.  How about the pack?  How - how many people were killed?”

           “At least twenty.”  Bobby says.  “Most of them were the ones outside the safe room.  I don’t know how, but that group of Novak soldiers knew exactly where to go.  Once they breached the walls, it was like that was all they were focused on.”

           Twenty.  Castiel can’t imagine that many people gone from his pack.  He looks down at Mary, trying to soak up her innocence.  He wishes, for a brief moment, that he could be as clueless to the heartache the pack is suffering as she is.  But then Mary looks up at him with those big, trusting eyes, and he knows he has to be strong.  There isn’t another option right now.  

 

 


	41. Chapter 41

            Hours pass, and Castiel is exhausted.  He’s knelt by more injured pack members, reassured more scared people than he ever thought possible.  He’s honestly not sure how he’s still standing.

            Somehow it’s only early afternoon.  Castiel pauses for a moment to catch his breath and let his brain try and catch up with what has happened.  It’s not an easy task to do.  Everyone is still in a state of shock.  There are families that have been shattered.  Nobody is feeling particularly safe anymore.  Outside, a blizzard still rages.  There could be more enemies waiting for another chance to attack.  The thought is terrifying.  They can’t even send news to Dean yet, not with the storm as bad as it is.  

            He left Bobby in charge of dealing with the soldiers and the castle’s defenses.  He knows nothing about that, and anyways, he’s needed by the pack.  He and Adam have spent the day reconnecting pups with their parents and talking with every pack member they’ve seen.  Castiel wants to make sure that everyone knows the Winchester Pack will get through this.  

            The bodies of the dead soldiers have been moved and the kitchen, courtyard, and halls cleaned of blood.  The Novak soldiers who were killed in the fighting have been taken outside.  Castiel will spend no time mourning men who supported a pack Alpha like Michael.  

            The healers have made quick work of assessing every injured pack member.  The most injured have already been moved to the infirmary, but many others are still in the Great Hall in makeshift beds.  Jess has been taken to the infirmary.  Missouri says that she’ll be okay, but she needs to be watched for the next few days to make sure everything heals correctly.  Gabriel won’t leave his mate’s side, and Castiel can’t blame him.  He still feels a bit alone, though.  

            Thankfully, Adam has been at his side the entire day.  He holds Mary when the pup’s weight grows too heavy and wraps a steady arm around Castiel when the magnitude of what happened overwhelms him.  Castiel’s grateful for his support.  

            “You holding up okay?”  Adam asks at some point during the afternoon.  They’ve got a rare quiet moment to themselves as Castiel gives Mary her bottle.  Around them, the Great Hall is bustling with activity, the air a flurry of scents of fear, of anger, of relief, of worry.  Castiel focuses on projecting calm, even though inside he’s still shaking.

            “I guess.”  Castiel says.  He leans into the young beta.  “I’m trying to do what Dean would do, but it’s hard.”

            Adam shrugs, the movement jostling Castiel a bit.  “You aren’t Dean.”  He reminds Castiel.  “Do what you would do.”

            “I don’t know what that is.”

            “I think you do.”  Adam says.  “Just - feel for a minute.”

            Castiel takes a deep breath and looks around the room.  Ellen and the healers have turned chaos into organized chaos, at least.  But there’s still the matter of where the pack will sleep tonight.  With the Great Hall serving as an infirmary, there’s little room for the non-injured pack members to sleep.  And then there’s the added worry that there are more Novak soldiers waiting to attack.

            Suddenly, there’s a lot of shouting and yelling coming from the guards outside.  Fear grips Castiel.  The guards who have been shadowing him all day fall into place around him.  He wants Ash to be one of them.  

            Bobby strides into the room.  “Castiel, I need you.”  He says.  

            Castiel stands on shaky feet and walks over to where the old alpha stands.  “What is it?  What’s going on?”

            Bobby actually manages a smile.  “Backup’s arrived.”  He says.  Castiel follows him out of the Great Hall and towards the courtyard.  A small convoy of soldiers have dismounted their horses and are waiting for Bobby’s return.

            “You are the pack leader?”  One of the soldiers asks Castiel.

            “I - yes?”  Castiel looks at Bobby for help.  He nods, so Castiel continues.  “I am.”

            “As we told Bobby, we’re from the Crowley pack.  Our Pack Alpha sent one hundred soldiers to aid you.”  

            Castiel turns to Bobby.  “Really?”  He asks.  “This is for real?”

            Bobby nods.  “I’ve met these soldiers before.”  

            The soldier adds, “We cleaned out a small group of Novak soldiers about a mile away.  With your permission, we would like to continue to scout the nearby lands for any stragglers.  We’re sorry we did not get here earlier to help.”

            Castiel nearly sags with relief.  They have backup.  They have protection.  “Thank you.”  He manages.  “I am so glad you’re here.  And yes, please, I want to make sure there are no more Novak soldiers anywhere near my pack.”

            “Done.”  The soldiers bid farewell for the time being and head back out into the cold.  

            “Crowley sent soldiers.”  Castiel says as the heavy doors close behind them and shut out the blowing snow.  “That’s - that’s really good, right?”

            Bobby claps him on the shoulder.  “Damn good.”  He agrees.  “You can sleep easy tonight.”

            It’s not that easy, of course.  The Great Hall was already crowded with injured pack members, and now everyone is piled on top of each other to sleep.  Castiel is in the far corner, next to a fireplace.  Gabriel is still with Jess in the infirmary.  Adam is curled up next to Castiel, and he’s once again grateful for the young beta’s unwavering support.  He really couldn’t ask for a better friend.  

            Even surrounded by guards and reassured by the knowledge that they have backup, Castiel finds it difficult to fall asleep.  The events of the day start to overwhelm him, the reality of what happened crashing into him.  Now that he’s not busy helping the pack, there’s plenty of time for his mind to race.  He wonders if anything could have been done to keep his pack safer.  He wonders how Dean will react when he finds out Ash - one of his good friends - is gone.  And despite what many people have told him today, he still feels guilt that it was his old pack who attacked.

            Mary whimpers in her sleep, unsettled by some dream.  Castiel reaches over to smooth a finger across her tiny forehead.  “Shh, my beautiful pup.”  He whispers.  “It’s okay.  You’re safe.”

            He waits until Mary has settled again.  Then he curls up under a thick fur and closes his eyes.  Sleep doesn’t come easy, but eventually he’s too tired from what happened earlier that he falls asleep.

            Thankfully, nothing happens during the night.  Castiel wakes early to Mary’s hungry cries.  With a full contingent of guards - he’s going nowhere without them - he heads into the kitchen to get her a bottle.  Ellen pulls him into a hug.  

            “The storm’s stopping.”  She tells him.  “Bobby was in not ten minutes ago.  He says once it clears up a little more, he’ll send word to Dean.”

            Castiel sags in relief.  He might see his mate again soon.  “Thanks, Ellen.”  He says.  “Good to know.”  

            Ellen nods.  “Take this to Gabriel.”  She tells him, passing Castiel a plate full of thick-sliced bread.  “He hasn’t eaten since Jess was hurt.  Maybe you can convince him.”

            Castiel heads for the infirmary.  It’s crowded and busy, and Castiel can’t head right for Gabriel and Jess even though he wants to.  He has a duty as the mate of the Pack Alpha to check on the many other injured pack members.  

            When he finally does reach Gabe, it’s to find his brother slumped in a chair next to a sleeping Jess.  “Hey.”  Castiel says softly, dropping into the chair next to Gabriel.  “I brought breakfast.”

            Gabriel glances at the food and then turns away.  “She’s hurt bad.”  He says quietly.  

            “I’m sorry.”  Castiel reaches out and touches Gabriel’s hand.

            “Yeah.”  Gabriel looks down at his mate.  “I can’t lose her, Cassie.  I just can’t.  I - I’d be lost.  And Sam would hate me.”  He starts crying.  

            “Stop.”  Castiel says.  “Jess is going to pull through.  She’s tough.  And Sam would never hate you.”

            “I just want him to come back.”  Gabriel says between gulping breaths.  “I need him to be here.  I can’t do this by myself.  I can’t see her hurt and be strong for both of us.”

            “Bobby’s aiming to send word out to Dean today.”  Castiel tells him.  

            Gabriel lets out a breath.  “It will still be weeks.”  He says quietly.  “Weeks before they return, even if they can leave as soon as they get word.”

            That’s the truth that Castiel’s been hiding from.  “I know.”  He answers, and God does his heart hurt.  “But - at least it’s something.”

            Gabriel just nods in response.  They both look down at Jess, where she lies unmoving on the bed.  Castiel wishes he could stay here all day, wishes he could support his brother like Gabriel has supported him.  But it’s only a few minutes later that Bobby comes looking for him, and he has to think about the pack first again.  

            “It’s cleared up enough.  I’m sending out a group of soldiers to Dean and Sam within the hour.”  Bobby tells Castiel as they walk through the halls.  

            “Good.”  Castiel says.  “How - how long will it take to get to him?”

            “In this weather? A week, maybe a little more.  Depends on how quickly the blizzard lifts and if the soldiers are heading right out back into it again.”  Bobby sighs.  “You know what I have to tell him, right?  That we’ve got backup here.  That we’re safe now.  He might not turn be able to come back right away.  He has to take care of Raphael first.”

            Castiel wipes away a stray tear and nods.  “I know.”  He says.  “And - and I want him to make sure all the danger is gone.  I do.  I just miss him.”

            “I get it, kid.”  Bobby says.  He rests a hand on Castiel’s shoulder for a minute, a reassuring weight, before straightening and turning his attention to the next item of business.  “There’s a few things we need to talk about.  First, Meg.”

            “What about her?”

            “I think it’s time we brought her back.”  Bobby says.  “Dean sent her out to Jody’s village to keep her hidden, but at the very least we need her testimony against Ruby and Raphael.  Crowley’s men will want to hear from the source.”

            “Please.”  Castiel says.  He misses Meg, and he wants to be able to tell Kevin and Charlie that their friend is still alive.  “What about Ruby?”

            “Next on my list.”  Bobby says.  “Crowley’s men found her around dawn.  She’s locked up for the moment, but we’re going to have to talk about what to do with her.  And the Novak Pack Alpha, for that matter.”

            Castiel winces.  “Do we have to?”  He asks before he can stop himself, well aware of how small and weak he sounds.  All of the sudden all he wants is Dean.  

            Bobby is talking, but Castiel can’t hear him.  Everything sounds like his head is underwater.  He’s trying to find the surface and he can’t.  Something’s dragging him down deeper.  His vision starts going black.  

            _Alpha stands above him and kicks at his kneeling form, his foot catching Castiel in the stomach.  “You’re useless.”  He sneers.  “Another worthless omega.”_

_“Please.”  Castiel cries.  “I didn’t do anything.”_

_“A worthless omega.”  Alpha repeats.  “And somehow you think you’re smarter than me?  You thought you could outrun your punishment?  There are consequences to your actions, omega.”_

_“I didn’t - I didn’t do anything.”  Castiel’s heart is beating fast, faster than it ever has before.  He didn’t do anything, but that doesn’t mean Alpha will listen.  He’ll punish Castiel anyways, taking out his anger through beatings._

_“Shut up.”  A hand cups his jaw and pulls him to his feet.  Alpha’s grip is too tight, the pressure against Castiel’s bones too much.  He lets go, only to backhand Castiel.  “Get up.”  Alpha orders.  “Listen to me, omega.  I will make sure you die before I give you any chance at happiness.  Omegas don’t deserve it.  Especially lying, weak omegas like you.”  He punctuates his words with punches, Castiel’s face and torso taking the brunt of the punishment._

_Castiel knows better than to fight.  He just stands there and tries not to pass out.  Tears run down his face.  He thought maybe by now he wouldn’t have any tears left.  He hates crying, hates knowing how much Alpha likes seeing him cry and beg and plead.  Hates how much Alpha likes the scent of omega fear and hurt._

_The words eventually fall from his lips, just like they always do, even though he tries so hard not to beg.  “Please, Alpha, please stop.”_

            “Nobody’s hurting you.”  A rough voice says.  “Come on, Castiel, take a look around.  Tell me what you see.”

            Castiel doesn’t know who’s talking, only that it isn’t Alpha.  He obeys anyways, because that’s what good omegas do.  He’s sitting on the floor, the stones cold beneath him.  He’s crying, too, something he’s only vaguely aware of.  

            “I’ll be better.”  He promises the voice.  

            “You’re good just the way you are.”  A second voice says.  Now Castiel’s confused.  No one was in the room with him and Alpha.  

            Arms wrap around him, and Castiel knows better than to fight.  He goes limp, just letting them do what they want.  He’s expecting another blow, but it doesn’t come.  Just a soft voice crooning in his ear that he’s safe and it’s okay and nothing bad is going to happen to him.

            Ellen.  It’s Ellen.  Castiel cranes his head to see that Ellen has wrapped herself around him and guided his head to her shoulder.  She’s cradling him like he’s a child.  

            It hits Castiel that he’s with his new pack, not his old one.  That he’s with Ellen and Bobby and he’s mated and has a pup.  That it was all a bad memory, and it’s too much for him to process.  He breaks down, sobbing uncontrollably.  He wants Dean.  He wants to be in his room, in his nest, and never come out again.  The whole pack must think he’s weak, just like his old Alpha said.  

            “Mary?”  He asks when words finally come back to him.  He needs his pup, needs to at least act like a halfway-decent omega.  Bobby kneels down in front of him and hands over a squirming, crying pup.  Castiel holds her close, lets her tiny nose press up against his neck as she scents him, seeking comfort.  

            “Let’s get you two somewhere a little calmer.”  Ellen says - quietly, like she’s talking to a spooked animal.  And maybe that’s not all that far off from being true.  

            Castiel doesn’t know how they get there, but somehow they make it to his and Dean’s room.  Ellen guides him to the couch and settles him in front of the fireplace.  She sits next to him, keeping her arms wrapped around him.  It’s safe there, Castiel thinks.  He’s holding Mary and Ellen’s holding him.  

            “Dean?”  He asks, because that’s who he really wants right now.  He sees Ellen’s face drop.

            “He’s not here.  Remember?”  Ellen says.  

            Right.  He’s somehow supposed to get through this on his own.  Well, not on his own, but without his mate.  It feels the same.

            Bobby clears his throat.  “I’m sorry, Castiel.”  He says.  “I didn’t mean to-”  He trails off, because nobody really knows what to call it when he does that.

            “It’s okay.”  Castiel says, because it’s really his mind that’s at fault and not Bobby.  “Really.”

            Bobby nods.  “With your permission, I’ll deal with everything that can’t wait until Dean returns.”  He says.

            “Yes.  Please.”  Castiel curls up, nestling Mary against his chest as he leans against Ellen.  “I can’t - I need - I’m sorry.”  He says.  The words aren’t coming to him right now.

            Bobby leaves.  Castiel’s half-expecting Ellen to follow - she has a whole pack to look after, after all - but she just smooths a finger across his brow.

            “Ellen?”  Castiel asks.

            “Hmm?”

            “Please - please don’t leave.”  Castiel whispers.  “I don’t know what to do.”

            “Oh, honey.”  Ellen shakes her head.  “I’m not going anywhere until you’re ready.  I may not be Dean, but I’ll try my best to help you get through this.”

            “Thanks.”  Castiel says, even though that doesn’t seem like enough.

            “That’s what pack’s for.”  Ellen says.  

            Castiel smiles, even though Ellen can’t really see it.  He likes that.  He tucks his head against Ellen’s neck, breathes in that baking-bread scent that follows her, and thinks that maybe this is what it’s like to have a mother.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got a chapter up! I don't know if I'll get another one posted before Christmas - I've got a ton of stories to write for a gift exchange - but I'll try. Next chapter will feature Dean's return!


	42. Chapter 42

            Two weeks pass somehow, two weeks of sorrow and fear and worry.  Crowley’s men have confirmed there are no more Novak soldiers hiding outside the castle grounds.  It’s safe to grieve now, and that’s what the pack does.  Castiel forces himself to be strong, to speak to the entire pack about the sacrifices their pack members made and how they’ll always be honored in the pack’s memories.  He says goodbye to a guard and a friend and holds the hands of family members as they mourn their losses.  That night, he curls up, alone in bed, and cries.  The scent is gone from Dean’s shirts.  He’s alone and scared and lost.

            Gabriel finally leaves Jess’s side.  He and Castiel end up sitting together one afternoon, tucked up in Dean’s office because it’s one of the few quiet places they could find.  Neither one of them will say it, but they don’t want to be in their rooms without their mates.  It’s just too hard.

            “I’m sorry.”  Gabriel says.  “I didn’t mean to just - just leave you to deal with everything on your own.”

            “It’s okay.”  Castiel says, and maybe there’s some truth to the words.  “I understand.”

            Gabriel shakes his head.  “It’s not okay, Cassie.”  He says.  “I should’ve been there to support you.”

            “Jess needed you.”  Castiel reminds him.  “Just as much as I did.”

            “Thought we lost the pup.”  Gabriel says.

            “I - what?”

            Gabriel looks up, tears shining in his eyes.  “We found out a couple days after Sam left.”  He says.  “Jess is pregnant.  When she got hurt - I thought there was no way the pup made it.  But Missouri says the pup is okay.”

            Castiel throws himself at his brother, wrapping his arms around Gabriel and hugging him tightly.  “Congratulations.”  He says.  “I’m so happy for you guys.”  And now he gets it, understands that Gabriel wasn’t just scared of losing his mate - he was scared of losing their child.

            Gabriel smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.  “This pup.”  He says quietly.  “This pup isn’t mine.  It’s theirs.”  He shrugs.  “What if I don’t connect with the pup?  Or what if Jess and Sam don’t want me anymore?  What if-”

            Castiel cuts him off.  “I’ve told you, Jess and Sam will always want you.  That’s why they’re your mates.”  He says.  “And Gabe, Mary isn’t mine by blood or birth.  But she’s mine.  You’ll see.  It’ll work out.”

            Gabriel leans in and rests his head on Castiel’s shoulder.  “It’s scary.”  He says.  “I don’t know how you do it.  I still feel so broken inside.”

            “Me, too.”  Castiel says.  “But Mary’s helped me heal.”

            “Good.”  Gabriel looks around the room.  “We got lucky, didn’t we?”

            “Yeah.”  Castiel says.  “We did.”

            Gabriel nods.  “What - what do you think is going on back in our old pack?”  He asks.  “I know Bobby sent word that we’ve captured Michael and that they’re to surrender to us, but what do you think is really going to happen?”

            “I don’t know.”  Castiel says.  His heart aches from being pulled in too many different directions.  There’s only so much sorrow and worry he can hold onto.  He thinks about his old pack, wonders about the omegas that he lived with, but he’s got this pack to worry about too.  Now he understands why Dean could get so stressed.

            Gabriel seems to understand.  He falls silent.  They sit there, just the two of them, embracing the fleeting moments of quiet and peace they have before the needs of the pack calls Castiel out into the castle again.

            A few more days pass.  Castiel is starting to lose track.  Meg returns, much to the joy of Charlie and Kevin.  Meg even smiles at Castiel, tells him how much she appreciates the fact that he believed her.  Castiel just thanks her for the information she gave them.  She helped keep the pack safe - at least, safe as they could be with all the threat out there.

            Castiel, though, doesn’t feel safe.  He doesn’t think he will until Dean returns home.  There’s been no word from him, no sign that the messengers even got to him yet.  The winters around here are unpredictable, and there’s a lot of ground to cover.  

            It’s late evening.  Much of the pack is still eating.  A full moon is here, but the the pack is too focused on what has happened to think about a full moon run.  But they at least honor the moon with a feast, though it’s remarkably quieter than previous ones.  Castiel sits at the head table.  Jess is patched up enough to sit with them, though she’s still weak.  Castiel has already given her his congratulations, and it’s nice to see the way she rests her hands on her still-flat stomach, protecting the pup.  It’s harder to see the bandages that wrap her sides.  

            “They’ve returned.”  A guard runs into the room and skids to a stop in front of the head table.  “Dean and Sam are back, with all the soldiers.”

            Castiel jumps from his seat.  Mary startles at the sudden movement and lets out a wail.  “Shh, pup, your alpha daddy is home.”  Castiel soothes as he makes his way to the castle doors.  Gabriel and Jess are at his side.  So too is Bobby.  He rests one hand on Castiel’s shoulder, a silent promise that he will help explain everything that has happened to Dean.

            The doors open, and Castiel’s heart feels like it could burst.  There’s his mate - scruffier and skinnier than the last time he laid eyes on him, but still _Dean._  

            “Cas!”  Dean spots Castiel and hurries over, wrapping him up in a huge hug.  Castiel presses his face against Dean’s neck and just scents his mate, breathing in that perfect scent of home and safety and warmth.  “Cas, baby, I’m so sorry.”  

            Castiel pulls away far enough that he can look Dean in the eyes.  “I missed you.”  He whispers.  Around him, the soldiers are reuniting with their own families.  Jess and Gabriel and Sam are wrapped up in one giant hug.  But Castiel really only cares about Dean.  

            “I missed you too, angel.”  Dean kisses Castiel.  He breaks away and takes Mary out of Castiel’s arms.  “And I missed you, my little princess.”

            Mary is thrilled to see her father again, if the happy shriek she lets out is any clue.  Castiel feels himself start to relax.  Dean is here.  He’s home, and he’s safe, and Castiel doesn’t have to try and be so strong anymore.  Dean can help him, and he can help Dean.  He has his partner back.  

            There’s business to attend to, even as late as it is.  Bobby fills Dean in on the details of what happened.  Dean’s arms tighten around Castiel as he tells the story of how he and the others fought in that safe room.  How Ash sacrificed his life to make sure they lived.  

            But there’s the good news, too.  The news that Crowley’s men arrived, that they only just today found Ruby and brought her back to the castle, how the Novak Alpha is their prisoner now.  

            Dean brings news as well.  Raphael is dead, killed in the fighting by one of his own pack members.  Raphael had attacked the border village, just as they were afraid he’d do, but he had underestimated how much his new pack despised him.  With the Winchester pack’s help, it had been easy to overthrow him and his supporters.  There’s still work to be done, but Sam had found the daughter of the previous Pack Alpha.  She had the support of the pack and was determined to fix the pain Raphael had caused.  They had left her in charge.

            Castiel doesn’t know what to think about Raphael being dead.  The man tortured him for years, taking pleasure in Castiel’s pain.  But he doesn’t feel happy, or even relieved.  He just feels - empty.  Overwhelmed.  Like he can’t even process what that piece of information means.  

            Dean notices.  He wraps an arm around Castiel’s waist, tugs him closer so he can kiss his cheek.  “Why don’t we head upstairs and deal with the rest of this in the morning?”  He says.  

            As tired as he appears, Dean seems to take joy in the chance to get Mary ready for bed.  “I missed you.  Yes I did.”  He coos.  

            Once Mary is settled in for bed and Castiel and Dean have crawled under the covers, Castiel finally gets the chance just to bury his face against Dean’s neck and scent him properly.

            “What’s wrong?”  Dean asks after a few minutes, and Castiel belatedly realizes he’s crying.

            “I - I don’t know.  Nothing.  Everything.”  He pulls away from Dean’s neck so he can curl up against his mate.  “I was so scared, Dean.  And then the attack happened, and we lost so many people, and -”

            Dean kisses Castiel’s forehead.  “You did what your old pack thought was impossible.  You fought back.  You proved you were stronger and braver than they’ll ever be.”

            “Ash is dead.”  Castiel says quietly.  “I just - I can’t accept it, I guess.  I keep thinking he’ll be right outside the door.”

            “I know.”  Dean sighs.  “And I wish I could tell you that it will get easier, knowing that you’ve lost a friend, but it doesn’t.  Not really.  You just start to heal and find other ways of remembering them.  But this is still raw, Cas, and you need to grieve.”

            “I thought I was going to die.”  Castiel adds after a moment.  “I thought Mary was going to lose her parents again, and I didn’t know what to do.”

            “Yes, you did.”  Dean says.  “Bobby said it earlier.  You fought.  You didn’t let the Novak soldiers get away with what they were doing.”

            “I killed somebody.  Several somebodies.”  Castiel says.  “How does that make me any better than them?”

            Dean’s forehead creases with concern.  “You don’t mean that, Cas.  You’re different than them in every way.  They wanted to kill unarmed, helpless pups.  They wanted to kill you.  You just wanted them to stop.  That’s all.”

            And that - that’s true.  It puts to rest a fear that’s been gripping Castiel, that Dean will think less of him for what he had to do.  It’s silly, now that he’s voiced it, that he even thought that, but that’s the thing with thoughts.

            “In case I haven’t said it clearly enough,”  Dean says, cupping Castiel’s face, “I want to tell you that you did an amazing job of leading our pack.  You proved once and for all that you are a Winchester through and through.  You were strong and brave and kind and caring all at the same time, and that’s not an easy thing to be.  I’m proud of you, Cas.”

            Castiel manages to give Dean a watery smile.  “Thanks.”  He says.  “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

            Dean cocks his head.  “I wasn’t here.”

            “I know.  But everything you’ve ever told me or taught me or shown me - that was here.”  Castiel says.  “It sounds sappy, but it’s true.”

            Dean pulls Castiel in closer against him, tucking their bodies together.  “You’re the bravest person I know, Cas.”  He says.  “I’m so glad to be home with you.”

            “I love you.”  Castiel says.  His voice cracks a little.  “I missed you.”

            Dean kisses Castiel again.  “I love you too.”  He says.

            For the first time in weeks, Castiel falls asleep easily and doesn’t wake up with nightmares.  He finally rests in the arms of his mate, and it feels like everything is right with the world again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I wrote a Big Bang and 26 other fics for the Secret Santa exchange (if any of you like Leverage, you can read them under my other name: meils121). And now I have a chapter for you guys - thanks for waiting for me! It's slightly shorter than normal, but hopefully the fact that Dean and Cas are finally reunited makes up for that. The next few chapters will deal with the aftermath of everything that's happened in the past few chapters, and wrap up some loose ends. I know I've said this several times, but I really think this fic is approaching the end. We'll see! Anyways, thanks for waiting and I hope you enjoy this chapter!


	43. Chapter 43

            It’s still dark when Dean wakes up the next morning.  Next to him, Cas is sleeping peacefully, likely for the first time since Dean left.  He feels yet another pang of guilt.  He wasn’t here for his mate when he was needed.  And that hurts, a lot.  It makes him feel like a horrible mate, even if he knows he had to protect his pack too.  He still can’t shake the feeling that he’s let Cas down.

            That’s not to say he isn’t immensely proud of his mate.  Cas fought trained soldiers and won.  Dean hopes Cas will recognize now all the things that Dean’s known all along: his mate’s bravery and strength and love.  

            Dean is careful as he gets out of bed so he doesn’t disturb Cas.  His mate needs sleep.  He walks over to Mary’s cradle.  She, too, is sleeping peacefully, her face smooth and free of any worry lines.  She must smell Dean, because she twists a little in her sleep so she’s facing him.  Dean presses a gentle kiss to her forehead.  

            Dean glances towards the door, a sudden pang in his heart reminding him that Ash isn’t the one standing guard outside.  It’s hard to think that his long-time friend is no longer with them.  Painful, really.  Dean’s spent a long time rebuilding a family out of the people who matter to him, and to lose one of them is heartbreaking.  He also can’t shake the feeling of guilt that if he or Sam had stayed behind, things would be different.

            He’s proud of Cas, he really is.  But it shouldn’t have come to Cas and Jess and Gabe and his advisors fighting trained soldiers.  He knows Bobby suspects Ruby knew of the safe room and told the guards to go there directly.  It doesn’t change the fact that Dean came very close to losing his mate.  

            He shakes his head, trying to get those thoughts out of his mind.  He can’t go there.  He just - can’t.  He doesn’t know what would happen if he lost Cas or Mary, but it didn’t happen so it’s not something he should even be thinking about.  He’ll mourn the loss of his pack members, but it’s silly to feel sad about something that didn’t happen - that his mate prevented with the sort of courage that will never cease to amaze Dean.

            His changing scent must scare Mary.  She lets out a little cry, her arms reaching out for comfort even before she wakes up.  Dean scoops her up and rocks her.  She soon settles, resting her head on his shoulder and snuffling against his neck for a few seconds before letting out a little yawn and relaxing against him.  

            Dean missed this while he was gone.  He missed quiet mornings.  He missed the scent of his mate and daughter.  It hurts to see how much Mary has grown in his absence.  He missed time with her, missed seeing her grow and learn over the past month.  He’s glad he’s home now.  He kisses the top of her head and makes a silent promise that he’ll be there for her, always.  He’s scared, deep down, of making the mistakes his father did.  But he can’t do that to Cas or Mary, and he hopes that love is enough to stop the past from repeating itself.  

            It will be, he thinks.  Because this is his family.

            He sees a bit of movement out of the corner of his eye and turns to see Cas stretching in bed.  

            “Morning.”  Cas says, his voice still husky with sleep.  

            “Hey.”  Dean crosses the room and leans over Mary so he can kiss Cas good morning.  He chases Cas’s lips when they break apart, not quite ready to not be touching his mate.  He settles for sitting on the bed next to Cas.  His mate leans into him, resting his head on Dean’s shoulder.

            “I missed this.”  Cas says after a few minutes of silence.  “Just waking up and seeing you.  Knowing that you were here and safe.  You know?”  
            Dean does know.  “I missed this too.”  He says.  “It was hard to sleep without you next to me.  And I missed your scent.”  To punctuate his point, he leans in and scents Cas, lingering over his mating mark.  Cas shivers beneath him.  

            Their moment is interrupted, though, by a knock at the door.  Dean growls, low and deep, wanting to spend more time alone with his family.  It doesn’t appear he’ll get the chance.  He sucks a mark just below Cas’s mating mark and pulls away, leaving his mate staring at him with eyes blown wide.  

            “What?”  Dean opens the door, ready to snap at whoever is standing there.  But it’s Bobby, and it only takes a raised eyebrow for Dean to mumble an apology.  “This early?”

            Bobby nods.  “I know you want to spend time with Castiel and Mary, but the pack needs you.  Needs you both.”  He adds pointedly.  “Sam’s already waiting for you.  We need to decide what to do with the Novak pack.”

            “Yeah.”  Dean rubs a hand across his face.  “Tell Sam we’ll be there soon.  Ten minutes, okay?”  Bobby nods again and leaves, and Dean’s left staring at the door.  

            “Dean?”  
            “What’s up?”  Dean turns to find his mate curled up as small as he can get on the bed.  

            “I don’t know - I had a - it’s too much.”  Cas finally manages to get out.  “It’s all too much.”

            Dean walks over to where his mate sits and pulls him closer.  “You don’t have to do anything.”  He says.  

            “But Bobby said -”

            “And I’m telling you that you don’t have to.”  Dean cuts in.  “Bobby wants you there - I want you there - because neither of us feels right deciding what should happen to the man who caused you so much harm and hurt.  But if that’s what you want to happen, that’s what we’ll do.”

            Cas doesn’t answer for a minute.  There are tears running down his cheeks when he finally looks up.  “He still scares me.”  He says.  “What if he uses his alpha voice?  What if he tries to hurt Mary?”  He’s sounding more and more upset, and Dean stops him before he fully succumbs to the panic.

            “We can ask Ellen to watch Mary.”  Dean says.  “That way, he won’t even see her.  And he won’t use his alpha voice.  He wouldn’t dare.  And if he tried, I’d stop him.”

            Cas tucks his face against Dean’s shoulder.  His voice is muffled when he speaks.  “Will Gabe be there?”

            “Yeah.”  Dean says, because Gabriel deserves just as much as Cas does to be part of this.  “He will be.”

            “And you’ll stay next to me the whole time?”

            “Of course.”

            Cas nods and sits up.  “Okay.”  He says.  “Let’s - let’s do it.”

            Dean wishes he had the words to tell Cas how proud he is of his mate’s bravery.  He settles for telling Cas that he loves him.  Cas smiles up at him, his eyes still watery.  

            The meeting room is full by the time they drop Mary off with Ellen and arrive.  Cas looks around like he’s afraid Michael is already there.  Dean’s heart hurts.  He places his hand on the small of Cas’s back, gently guiding him towards the empty seat next to Gabriel.  Dean sits down next to Cas, at the head of the table.  

            The first order of business is, unsurprisingly, what to do with Michael.  Gabriel barely lets Dean finish asking the question before he responds.

            “Kill him.”  He says.  “Disband his pack.”  His eyes have gone dark and angry, and his scent has turned sour.  Sam places his hand on Gabriel’s arm to calm him, but the omega is having none of it.  He pulls his arm away and adds, “ That’s kinder than it should be.  You have no idea how many omegas suffered under him for all those years.”

            “The omegas,”  Cas starts, only for his voice to crack.  He takes a deep breath and tries again.  “Find the omegas homes.  In our pack, in other packs - I don’t care, as long as they are safe.”

            Others start to chime in, now that Cas and Gabriel have had their say, but the conversation barely gets a chance to get started before there’s a frantic knock on the door and a guard bursting into the room.  

            “Dean.”  The guard says.  “It’s the Novak Alpha.  He’s dead.”

            The room erupts into chaos.  At least four people demand to know how.  Gabriel is furious.  Dean turns to his mate only to find Cas the sole center of peace in the room.  He looks - not relaxed, not calm, just unnaturally still.  

            “Quiet.”  Dean orders once he thinks Cas isn’t too upset.  The room falls silent, all eyes on Dean.  He turns to the guard.  “Explain.”

            “We were bringing the prisoner his meal.  He slashed his own throat.”  The guard says.  “He was half-shifted, just enough for his claws to be dangerous.”

            It’s not a pleasant way of ending anyone’s life, let alone your own, but Dean has no sympathy for Michael Novak.  He’s not happy, though, that the alpha took his own life.  Dean would have liked nothing more than ripping the man’s throat out himself, for all the pain and suffering he put Cas through.

            “He’s dead.”  Cas says, breaking Dean’s train of thought.  “He’s dead.”  

            “Cas-”

            “He’s dead.”  Cas repeats one last time.  He looks straight at Dean, his eyes heavy with something that makes Dean worry.  “Why don’t I feel better?”  He asks.  And, just like that, his face goes blank and he faints.  

            Dean lunges towards his mate, grabbing Cas just as he’s about to hit the floor.  “Get Missouri.”  He orders, not caring who he’s yelling at so long as someone listens.  He pulls Cas into his arms and cradles him close to his body.  Cas’s eyes are open but it’s like there’s no one - no fighting spirit - in them anymore.  

            There’s movement that Dean ignores until Gabriel all but shoves his way next to Dean.  “This is what he used to do.”  Gabriel says, his hands frantically shaking Cas.  Dean wants to stop him, wants everyone to get away from his mate, but if Gabriel knows something that he doesn’t, he’s not about to stop him.  “When it all got too much.  When that bastard would hurt him until there was nothing left but blood and - and - and emptiness.”  He’s crying, still pulling on Cas.  The pain in his eyes is almost too much to handle.

            Cas’s face is still blank, but it’s like he has control of his body again.  He pulls away from Dean, rolling onto the cold stone floor and cowering against the wall.  Dean’s heart sinks even more than it already has.  He knows that Cas is reliving some awful memory, that his brain has him somewhere far away and long ago.  

            “Come on, Cas.”  Dean begs.  “Come back to me.”  But Cas stares at a point just past Dean, his eyes focusing in on something that’s not actually there.  Dean tries guiding Cas’s face to his neck, hoping his scent will be enough to bring his mate back.  As soon as he tries, though, Cas shies away from his hand, curling in on himself like he thinks he’s going to be hit.  

            “‘m sorry.”  Cas mumbles.  “I’ll be a good ‘mega, promise.”  

            Dean blinks away a tear.  “Cas, baby, you’re my perfect omega.  My perfect mate.  It’s Dean.  You’re safe and far away from anyone who can hurt you.”  He repeats the words over and over.  “You’re safe.  I love you.”

            Gabriel has given up and slumped against the wall, head in his hands.  “Shouldn’t have done it.”  He mutters.  Dean’s not sure what that means, but he’s more concerned with making sure Cas gets out of this awful memory than figuring it out.

            Cas shrieks suddenly, the panicked sound that omegas only make when they are in danger.  It’s a primal noise, an instinct from the days of the first wolf-shifters.  It has everyone in the room on edge.  Dean’s own instincts are set afire, telling him to do something to keep his mate safe.  He doesn’t know how.  

            The shriek ends, the room eerily silent all of the sudden.  A few moments later, Cas’s eyes start to refocus.  He’s breathing heavily, like he’s been running, and his hand grips Dean’s with a strength Dean didn’t know his mate had.  

            “Cas?”  Dean asks softly.  “You back with me?”

            “Dean?”  Cas asks.  His voice is hoarse and hesitant.  “I - Dean.  Please.”  

            “It’s okay, baby.”  Dean scoops Cas back up in his arms and stands.  He turns, looking for the first time at everyone else in the room.  “Bobby, I want Ruby under a full watch.  She’s not escaping her role in this.  Sam -”  He cuts off, because his brother has his arms wrapped around a pale-faced Gabriel.  “Take care of your mate.  We’ll reconvene in a few hours.”

            He’s walking out of the room when one of his advisors - a man left over from his father’s rule - reaches out and stops him.  “Your mate is brave.”  The man says.  “I fought by his side before and I’d do it again.”

            Dean nods his thanks.  It’s another way of saying that they don’t think any less of Cas for struggling with these memories, and for that Dean is thankful.  

            Sam touches his shoulder as they leave the room.  “We’re coming with you.”  He says.  Dean’s about to protest - Cas needs some time to recover - but Sam stops him.  “Gabe says there’s a story here that we need to hear.  Both of us.”

            The bedroom doesn’t feel nearly as warm or as cozy at it had less than an hour earlier, but Cas seems relieved to be back somewhere he feels safe.  Dean wraps him up in a thick fur and settles them both by the fire.  Jess settles into a chair, leaving the couch for Sam and Gabe.  

            Cas stares into the fire for several minutes.  They all wait, knowing that he has to get his voice back, has to put his thoughts back together.  “There was a rumor.”  Cas starts.  “There was a rumor that Michael had died.”

            “We saw it as our chance to escape.”  Gabriel picks up the story when it becomes clear that Cas doesn’t know how to continue.  “I convinced Cas that we had to at least try.  I - I wanted to die, honestly, and I thought that either way we’d be rid of that pack.  But we got caught not far from the omega compound, and Michael wasn’t dead.”

            It’s his turn to fall silent and Cas’s to continue.  “I thought we were dead.  I thought he was going to kill us.  But that’s not what he was like.  He just - he tortured us.  For days and days.  I blocked it out, all of it, until that guard came in and said Michael was dead.  It just - it brought back all that pain and hurt and I couldn’t make it stop.”  He takes a deep breath.  “I couldn’t make it stop.”

            Dean doesn’t know what to say.  He looks over to his brother, hoping that Sam - the more well-spoken of the two of them - will have the words, but Sam looks just as lost.  It’s Jess who finally speaks.  

            “That’s awful.”  She says softly.  “And I’m sorry.”  The words are simple but powerful.  Gabriel relaxes a little, though Cas is still tense in Dean’s arms.  

            “He’s a coward.”  Cas says bitterly, and Dean realizes that Cas is tense not from the story but out of anger.  “He killed himself so he didn’t have to face what he had done.  He caused all this hurt and pain and suffering and he’s a coward.”  Cas takes another deep breath.  “I hate him.”

            There’s not much more anyone else can say to that.

           

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I'm thinking one or two chapters more - now that Michael's been dealt with (kinda) I want to wrap up the rest of the loose ends and then have a few happier moments to end the story with.


	44. Chapter 44

            Mary is trying to crawl now, up on all fours and rocking back and forth as if she could crawl if she could just get enough momentum going.  Castiel watches her and smiles.  His pup never fails to make him feel better.  Mary’s tiny limbs give out and she flops onto her belly, giggling madly.  

            It’s been a few weeks since Michael killed himself.  Part of Castiel still feels angry - angry that Michael never got the punishment he deserved.  But part of him is relieved, too, that he won’t have to make a decision about whether Michael lives or not.  He knows Gabriel wanted the man killed, and Castiel wasn’t totally opposed to that idea.  He just didn’t know if that’s how he wanted that part of his life to come to a close.

            But in the end, it didn’t matter.  Michael made that decision, and he’s gone now.  Ruby’s dead, hanged for her crimes against the pack.  Castiel hadn’t gone to the hanging.  He stayed inside with his pup and his brother and Jess and Adam, surrounded himself with love and good people.  That felt like the better thing to do.

            Jody, a contingent of Winchester soldiers, and Crowley’s men had been sent to the Novak pack lands.  The decision has been made to disband the pack entirely.  The omegas will be given their choice of the Winchester or Crowley pack, and the alphas and betas who never bothered to stand up to Michael - or worse, supported him - will spend the rest of their lives without that all-important pack bond.  It’s harsh, but fair, Castiel thinks.

            He hasn’t had another one of those bad memories since the day Michael died.  It’s almost like he had one last bad memory he had to get out, one so scary that he had blocked it out entirely, and now that it’s out, his mind is finally starting to heal.  He still gets the bad dreams sometimes, still get nervous about certain things, but he feels freer than he ever has before.

            “You’re smiling.”  Dean says.  Castiel looks up at his mate and his smile widens.  

            “I’m happy.”  He says, tugging Dean’s hand until Dean is kneeling on the floor next to Castiel.  “Things feel...right.  Good.  You know?”

            “Yeah.”  Dean says, a grin spreading across his face.  “I think I do know.”  He leans over and captures Castiel’s mouth in a kiss.  Castiel lets out a little sigh as his mate pulls away. 

            Dinner that night feels almost normal.  The pack has slowly adjusted, still grieving for the members killed in the attack but moving on with life because that’s really all they can do.  Castiel is curled up in Dean’s lap, watching his family and his pack with a smile on his face. 

            A guard catches Dean’s attention.  “Jody and the soldiers have returned.”  He reports.  “There are many omegas with them.”

            Castiel sits up.  His heart is pounding.  He’s honestly not sure if he’s excited or terrified to see some of the omegas he was raised with.  Many of them did not treat him with kindness, especially early on, when they thought he was favored.  But they’re still family - or, at least they were the closest Castiel had to understanding what a family was before he came here.  

            He looks over at Gabriel and sees the same conflicting emotions crossing his brother’s face.  

            “Cas?”  Dean asks hesitantly, the rest of the question hanging in the air.

            Castiel gives his mate a _look_.  “I’m coming.”  He says firmly.  “I don’t care what Jody and your soldiers have said.  They won’t believe a word unless it comes from an omega.”  He settles Mary into the sling and stands.  Gabriel is moments behind him.  Sam reaches out, clearly hesitant, but Gabriel gives him a smile and a nod, as though to say it’s okay.  

            The omegas have already been brought to the infirmary.  The scent of omega is overwhelming as they enter the first room, a smell that sends Castiel momentarily spiraling back to the compound where he spent most of his life.  But he pushes that aside.  He’s got other things to worry about.  Still, his scent must betray his sudden struggle, because Dean squeezes his hand encouragingly. 

            There’s silence as Castiel comes to a stop in the middle of the room.  He’s overwhelmed, unsure of how to proceed or what he’s supposed to do now.  He glances down at the pup snuggled against his chest.  He can do this.

            “You don’t have to be afraid.”  He says, because he can smell the fear coming off of each and every single one of these omegas.  Maybe, he thinks, it’s not the scent of omega he remembers.  It’s fear.  “I know you won’t believe me, but the Winchester pack treats omegas with kindness and respect.  You are part of the pack now.”

            Nobody speaks, though Castiel can see that some of his former - and now current - pack members are interested in what he’s saying, so he continues.

            “Dean is the Pack Alpha.  But more importantly he’s my mate.  I trust him with my life.”

            Gabriel steps into the room, putting his hand on Castiel’s shoulder.  There’s a sudden flurry of noise - gasps of shock and disbelief. 

            “You’re dead.”  One omega - Samandriel - says.  

            Sam, who’s standing by the door, growls lowly.  The omegas immediately react, bowing their heads in submission.  Gabriel whirls around and fixes his mate with a glare.

            “You’re no help.”  He snaps.  “If you’re going to do that, go wait outside.”  He turns back to Samandriel.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

            Samandriel is apparently the only one who’s brave enough to speak.  “Alpha told us he killed you.  Said you tried to runaway and he made sure you suffered for it.”  His voice breaks.  “Everyone thought you were dead.  And - and Castiel.”  He visibly swallows.  “Alpha told us that you’d never last as the mate of a Pack Alpha.”  He looks down at his hands, then dares to make eye contact with Castiel.  “I’m glad you’re both okay.”

            It’s a lot of information to take in.  Gabriel looks visibly shaken, even though they had all figured Michael would spin what happened to make him look better and to make the omegas left in his pack fearful.  But it’s still hard to hear that everyone they had been raised with had thought Gabriel dead and Castiel at the mercy of a heartless Pack Alpha. 

            “I did run away.”  Gabriel says finally.  “And Michael nearly beat me to death.  But Dean saved me and welcomed me into the pack.”  

            Nobody has much to say to that, but Castiel’s expecting as much.  “We just wanted to welcome you to the pack.  You’re safe now.”

            Still, nobody speaks, but the overwhelming scent of fear is slowly becoming less oppressive.  Castiel and Gabriel say their goodbyes, promising to return in the morning.

            Castiel is worn out from the short exchange.  He hugs Gabriel goodnight before taking Dean’s hand and heading back to their room.  

            “You okay?”  Dean asks as they get Mary ready for bed.  

            “I - maybe.”  Castiel says.  He kisses Mary’s forehead and settles her into her cradle.  She fusses slightly as he drapes the blankets over her, but she’s tired enough that she soon relaxes and closes her eyes.  He watches her for a moment before heading over to the sofa by the fireplace, where Dean is already stretched out.  He tucks himself up against Dean’s side and scents his mate.  

            “I know it has to bring up all those old memories.”  Dean says quietly.  His hand is gently stroking through Castiel’s hair, a grounding touch that Castiel appreciates.  

            “It’s not even that.”  Castiel says.  “I mean, that was part of it, but - is that how I looked at you?”

            Dean’s hand stills for a moment before resuming the gentle touch.  “Yes and no.”  He says.  “Sometimes worse.  But sometimes you looked at me like I could change things, and that was terrifying too.  Because I didn’t know how I was supposed to help you heal.  I just knew that I wanted to.”

            “You’re a good person.”  Castiel says.  “I never dreamed that I could have a life like this.  I didn’t - I didn’t know omegas got lives like this.  And all those omegas from my old pack, they don’t know that either.  They don’t believe me when I say things will be different.  I don’t blame them.  They have no proof, no reason to think I’m telling the truth.”

            “They’ll learn.”  Dean reassures him.  “Just like you did, and Gabriel did.  And it’ll take time, but that’s okay too.”

            Castiel nods into Dean’s chest.  “I know.”  He says.  “It’s just hard to see them act like that.  It’s not - I didn’t forget how my old pack was.  But I got used to how other omegas act here, and then seeing all of them scared and submissive, it hurts.”  He lets out a broken sob, suddenly overwhelmed by his thoughts.  “Why?  Why did we all have to go through that?  What did we do to deserve that?” 

            Dean pulls him tighter.  His voice is fierce when he speaks.  “Nothing, Cas.  You did nothing wrong.  Michael was a monster and he convinced his alphas and betas to join him.  It wasn’t your or any other omega’s fault.  It was Michael’s.” 

            Castiel can’t stop crying.  “It’s not fair.”  He says. 

            “No.”  Dean agrees.  “It’s not.”  He kisses the top of Castiel’s head.  “And I’m sorry, baby.  You never should have had to deal with everything you did.”

            Castiel finally resurfaces, finding comfort in his mate’s gaze.  “Sometimes I wonder what I’m going to tell Mary when she’s older.”  He says.  “You know?”

            “I know what we’ll tell Mary.”  Dean says.  “We’ll tell her that you were brave and never gave up.  We’ll tell her that we loved her from the moment we saw her.  We’ll tell her that you fought to make sure she lived in a pack that respected everyone.  Not just a pack, but a world.  That’s what we’ll tell her.”

            Dean’s voice is full of pride, and Castiel ducks his head, embarrassed.  “You think?”  He asks.

            “I know.”  Dean says.  He draws Castiel back against his chest, wrapping his arms protectively around Castiel’s body.  “And I love you, baby.”

            “I love you, too.”  Castiel says.  He drowsily rubs his face against Dean, breathing in that perfect scent.  “Thanks, Dean.”

            He can feel Dean’s smile.  “Anytime, Cas.”

            They watch the fire for a while longer, content to just enjoy being in each other’s presence.  Eventually Dean stands, tugging Castiel towards the bed.

 

           

            The days start to return to normal - or, maybe, something better than normal.  There’s no fear of another attack hanging over their heads.  There’s no worry about Michael or Raphael.  Castiel gets re-acquainted with the omegas he spent most of his life with.  Some of them are hesitant around him and Gabriel, convinced that they’re just reporting everything back to their mates.  It takes time, but slowly they start to heal. 

            The next full moon is upon them sooner than Castiel expected.  It’s supposed to be the last one of winter, although that can be a bit up in the air depending on the weather.  Still, it’s an important night, and one Castiel is excited to share with the omegas from the Novak pack. 

            “We’re allowed?”  Samandriel asks when Castiel tells them the news.  Although the omegas are still weak from a lifetime of abuse and mistreatment, the healers have said they are all allowed to go on the full moon run.  “We can shift and run with the pack?”

            For the first time since they arrived, Castiel thinks that the omegas from his old pack are finally starting to understand how different life here will be.  

            “You’re part of the pack.”  Castiel says.  “Of course you’re allowed.”

            Several of the omegas have tears in their eyes, and Castiel is feeling a little emotional himself.  They used to spend full moons in agony, desperately fighting the pull of the moon so they wouldn’t get beaten.  He remembers nights when they’d all talk, dreaming about being allowed to go on one - just one - full moon run. 

            Dean enters the infirmary not long after, Mary giggling in her sling on his chest.  Castiel’s heart swells up at the sight.  He knows the other omegas are still tense around alphas, and that’s understandably.  He just hopes that one day they’ll see that what happened in their past isn’t the truth of the entire world.

            “Mary needs to be fed before the run.”  Dean says after kissing Castiel on the cheek.  Castiel promises the omegas that he’ll see them at the run and stands to leave.  He’s surprised when he hears one of the omegas speak out.

            “Alpha - Dean.”  Anna corrects herself.  “Thank you.”  It’s the most any omega has said to Dean since they arrived.  

            Dean smiles.  “You’re welcome.”  He says.  “I hope you can find peace here.”

            Later that evening, with Mary and the other pups too young for the run under the watchful eyes of some of the pack elders and several guards, the pack gathers for the full moon run.  Castiel sees the omegas from his old pack, hesitant and scared and overjoyed all at once.  He’s - he’s okay that they’re here, even if sometimes their presence drags him back into the past.  It’s not their fault, and he knows with time, they’ll all heal.

            Dean starts the full moon run with a piercing howl that cuts through the dark night.  The pack answers with howls of their own, loud and fierce.  This is a pack reclaiming their land, honoring those who no longer run with the pack on the earth.  Castiel feels a steady thrumming in his chest, the power of the pack running through him. 

            Dean leads them on a winding run, out to the west of the castle where Castiel has not spent much time.  The woods are sparser here, so there’s more room to run and play in the snow.  And that’s exactly what the pack does.  Castiel is filled with a joy he can’t quite explain, only that it’s exactly what he needs to move forward.

            They spend a couple hours out on the run, eventually leaving the open woods behind for a loop around the castle.  A feast awaits them at the end.

            Castiel takes his place at the head table.  Mary’s asleep in his arms, her pudgy cheek rest against his chest.  Dean has his arm around Castiel.  He’s an ever-steady presence of love and respect in Castiel’s life, and while Castiel might not have the words to explain what that means to his mate, he thinks Dean gets it anyways.  

            “Your smile is beautiful.”  Dean says.  Castiel blushes.

            “I’m happy.  This is what I’ve always wanted.”  Castiel says.  He leans into Dean’s embrace and inhales that perfect scent.  He’s got his family and his pack, and there’s really nothing else that he needs.  

            “You know,”  Dean says, “I really love you.”

            Castiel grins up at him.  “I really love you too.”  He answers.  

            Mary shifts in her sleep, her tiny fist closing around Castiel’s finger.  He’s never felt so complete before.  So happy. 

            Dean kisses the top of Castiel’s head, and Castiel lets himself relax into his mate’s body.  Around him, the noise of the pack blends together as one, a steady reminder of all the good people there are here.  

            Castiel’s happy.  And he knows that happiness will last.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a ridiculously sappy ending to this fic! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Thank you to everyone who has read this fic, waited patiently for months for me to remember to update it, commented and left kudos - you are all wonderful and so supportive. I've had a great time writing this fic, and I'm sad it's finally over, but I think it was time.   
> I've mentioned several times in the comments that I'm considering writing a companion piece with Sam, Jess, and Gabriel's story. That's still in the works - I've got a couple of scenes written, but nothing major. It may be a while before that gets published. It will also be much shorter than this!   
> Thank you all again! Hugs to everyone - and extra hugs to those of you who have been reading and commenting since the very beginning!

**Author's Note:**

> My first Supernatural fic! Please, please, please let me know what you think!


End file.
